I offered to pay and he let me?

[arealgirl100]

Was the 6th date.

[Nathaniel1316]

With your logic you don't value him since he's paid foe the first five. He probably took it as 'Oh wow she doesn't expect me to pay for everything she's independent' or sonething like that. If a girl offered to pay I would take it as she either sees us as equal or she's independent which is a nice feature. If you didn't want to pay you shouldn't have asked. That's like me asking my mom if she wants me to do the dishes and expecting her to say no even though I don't want to do them at all.

[arealgirl100]

You are right – I shouldn't have asked. I am in the habit from most other guys who I interact with of reaching for my purse and being turned down.

[Nathaniel1316]

Honestly you shouldn't have now he's just going to expect you to do it every so often now. If you expect him to pay for everything you need to tell him that now and express how you feel so if he isn't okay with that he can leave you and you can find someone who's willing to take care of you. (I don't mean that in a negative way either, I'd do it if I found a guy willing to take care of me.)

[Nathaniel1316]

And he may just have a different mindset which is why he didn't say no.

[arealgirl100]

Absolutely. I really value the respect you gave in this answer, thank you!

[arealgirl100]

I think it's too late to talk to him about it now..

[Nathaniel1316]

Then just let him know you two aren't going to work out and move on save both of you some time.

[1CentWorth]

Right? I know, I would have paid, but not if the woman offered twice. To argue political correctness in public is embarrassing. Next time don't say something a feminist would say. They killed chivalry.

[arealgirl100]

I offered 1x but I agree that I should not have offered if I was not really willing –that is misleading.

[1CentWorth]

Well, no harm done. Men are simple creatures. Just always assume and be disappointed if you ever do HAVE to pay, but don't make a federal case out of it. do that "woman disappointed face" - all women know how to do it., and that will reset his expectations to follow the role. Silly game, AmIrite?

[spartan55]

1CentWorth that was gold.

[Turtleluv]

What's the question?

[arealgirl100]

Does this mean he's not serious or doesn't value me. I was expecting him to say, "No let me" but he seemed stoked. It made me feel like he didn't value me.

[Turtleluv]

OMFG, you're playing games. Safe him the drama, be single.

I paid my half of EVERY date because I'm a real woman.

[arealgirl100]

That's not fair-a lot of men want to treat women. You're entitled to your opinion, but you're not recognizing my right to my own opinions. Cmon girly!

[TripleAce]

Ouuu a real women
Ha! She got you there big time though 😛

[arealgirl100]

TripleAce-you and the other user have every right to believe what you believe and to only date people who ascribe to your principles, but anyone reading this is not going to believe your opinion, only because of the way your portrays it. You actually do have a good point in some ways. But trying to make fun of or belittle me does nothing to further your cause to other users who are reading our answers. If you really believe what you are saying, try showing a little respect. It will be a lot more influential for other people who might be making up their mind on what is right and wrong to do while dating. I do appreciate you taking the time to answer

[Natalie11299]

Good

[arealgirl100]

I think I'm worth a $5 meal

[TripleAce]

Same could be said about him
So are you saying he isn't worth a 5$ meal from you?

[arealgirl100]

No not really. I have a lot of guys wanting to take me out and if he's not then interested then it's a next. I love him but love myself more and there r plenty of fish in the sea. ♥️

[TripleAce]

What you are saying is you want free meals and you'll go wherever you get a free meal

[TripleAce]

Thats usually called prostitution
Payment for love and sex

You do know that right lol

[arealgirl100]

No-I want an interested man. I have enough money to be a sugar momma but I want the man who I like who is most interested in me. His actions aren't seeming to convey that.

[TripleAce]

He is interested. Its the 6th date. He wouldnmt go on a 6th date if he wasn't interested 😛

[Natalie11299]

Maybe he was just raised differently. He may be interested and just be raised differently

[TripleAce]

Sweet pea lol its 2018
He raised in 2018 with women earning plenty of money. Millionaires even

you are all raised the same. Just you want to pluck something from the 1800's because it lets you keep your money in your bank account while he has to waste all of his

[arealgirl100]

No I can see why you'd think I just want to be treated, but I want a guy who shows interest. It's hard bc ex's and guy friends always pay and it shows they enjoyed it. I feel like maybe my boyfriend isn't enjoying the time with me

[TripleAce]

So are you saying that whatever a guy does in the past with you is always right? Lol
So if you had 5 ex's that abused you. Now if a guy doesn't abuse you he doesn't like you?

[TripleAce]

Yup. You should pay
I would of done it on the first date even. So consider yourself lucky it was the 6th
Now also pay for the 8th. He'll take the 7th

Don't be a leech

[arealgirl100]

No, I've been raised that the man should pay, or at least want to.

[TripleAce]

I was raised old fashioned too
Women stays home and cooks and obeys my orders while ill pay, work, go out and have fun

Oh ya you can't go out without my premission. Hey. Glad we were both raised old fashion 😂

[arealgirl100]

Actually, feminism holds that a women can do whatever she chooses-including being a SAHM/housewife. Her choice. Modern feminism is often misunderstood as every women needing to rise to the top of the workforce. We've gotten away from my question, which is not necessarily implying that he was wrong to let me pay you. I am asking for insight into his mindset, which hardly anyone is provided me with. What I have been given a lot of in these answers is undue aggressiveness. I am honestly just One thing to know whether he values me or not. We have other issues in the relationship, and I was hoping that this might provide a clue. I am also open to the fact that it might have just been him honestly letting me pay because he thought I wanted to. If I was truly as close minded as so many of you seem to suggest, I would not have asked the question, I would have just broken up with him.

[TripleAce]

No but you aren't talking about modern females --> you are talking about old fashioned females

[TripleAce]

The reason men paid for everything was because women didn't work and had no place in the field

[arealgirl100]

Perhaps we need to define modern feminism and what its principles are. Im under the impression that the movement holds that a woman can be whatever she chooses to be – including choosing to follow old patterns of courtship, etc. I think it might be a misinterpretation of modern feminism to say that a woman always must pay her half. You can disagree, I am not claiming to know everything about modern feminism.

[TripleAce]

Its an old fashioned attribute. Its ok if you aren't working or making very little sure
But if you are working and earning a living like he is

You should contribute in the relationship as well. Otherwise. We think you aren't really there for us. Just for out wallet

So prove that wrong. If you are there for him, show it by investing in the relationship

[arealgirl100]

I'm a student but he knows that my dad helps me bc I can't keep my scholarship and go to school

[arealgirl100]

Thnx!

[TripleAce]

If he works and you don't then sure he can pay
Which i think he did for the last 5 times
You offered and he accepted

Thats totally fine lol

[arealgirl100]

K makes sense thnx!

[TripleAce]

Im abnormal. I go against the grain
But yes. Most guys do pay for it all

But thats not the type of girl i want. I mean. Its expensive to always pay right? So you should feel the desire to help out

If you don't feel that. I think something is wrong in your feelings towards him then

[AynonOMouse]

The woman should pay, you know, unless she is just using him for money and acts like a prostitute.
That's how I see it if she expects the man to pay for everything.

Or unless she is one of those hypocritical feminists that want equality, except when it comes to them being fair to the man.

[andreasderjuengere]

I see that somewhat practical: the one who offers or invites, is the one who covers the costs. However, I would sort of keep track and make sure that I don't 'exploit' from my side. Not counting each single penny of course.

[NYCQuestions1976]

I think with all the "politically correct" nonsense going around, some guys are concerned with coming off as "pushy" if they just shut down an offer to pay by the woman on a date. I'm sure he still likes you.

[rapfan107]

It's the 6th date common it's just fair. We're you expecting him to pay all the time

[arealgirl100]

Yes guys usually never let me even touch my wallet. It makes me feel like they really enjoy and value our dates.

[rapfan107]

Ok so you think just because you played for "one" date he doesn't value as much? Damn female logic

[arealgirl100]

Well, yes. I've interacted with 30+ guys (friends and dates) who just never let me pay.

[rapfan107]

Lol sounds like you've interacted with virgins, desperate guys with money that don't let you pay cause they're afraid they get in your pants. Don't be so shallow, just cause the doesn't pay every date doesn't mean doesn't appreciate you as much.

[WalterRadio]

LOL. Why did you do that?

[arealgirl100]

Because most other guys who I have interacted with – even my guy friends – will not even let me offer to pay. They will just start gushing about how they are enjoying the time with me so much. I've been really lucky. I am wondering if this guy not doing that means something about him not enjoying our dates as much as the guys I have previously interacted with.

[WalterRadio]

It sounds to me that you dared him to let you pay, and he called your bluff. And now you are flustered because you didn't really mean it.

The lesson is, don't offer something you don't intend to follow through on.

I worked with a girl many years ago and we sometimes had personal conversations. I never, ever instigated anything sexual to her but she would sometimes start adult conversations. One day she asked, "Is it true that all a girl has to say is 'yes' and a guy would have sex with her?" I said, that in general, that if she wasn't ugly, that it was correct. She looked at me in the eyes and said, "Yes" (she was a virgin at the time). I said, "OK, how about tomorrow at lunch time?" She said ok. We discussed that her apartment would be the best place and that she would drive. I brought in a bag with a few condoms and some lubrication. We got in her car at lunch and she is starting to act really nervous.

[WalterRadio]

As we were getting close to where she lived, she said she had to get something and stopped at a convenience store. She asked what was in the bag, and I told her. She shaked her fists and said, "OK! OK! I give up! You win! I'm not going to do it."

I laughed and we went back to the office. She was in disbelief. "Would you really have gone through with it?" "Of course!" I said.

She thought we were playing a game of chicken and asked a few times whether I really meant it, which I did.

Same moral to the story as yours above.

[Anonymous]

When men are beginning to feel guilty about using women they ask themselves "do girls deserve this?" and then they think about women like you and they come to a confident "yes..."

[arealgirl100]

That's interesting. I've never been used by a guy for anything. I've been very blessed and had positive experiences with men generally.

[Opinion Owner]

knock on wood

[Fuentes]

Lol shit i ain't gonna pay for it all this ain't no free ride i had the last girl i was with pay it was our 4th date u must be cheap or something or like free meals

[Fuentes]

But most the times i paid but just once she actually paid

[hammeronfire]

you offered to pay and he let you. whats the problem here?

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Meh.
Only thing I have to say to that.

[blondfrog]

He's not worth it you deserve better than that.

[sexylilchica]

That's rude. He should pay no matter what.

[Liska98stad]

Cool, you have cute hair 😊

[Liska98stad]

Come and look at my post it’s really interesting 😉

[Anonymous]

It's okay

[arealgirl100]

LOL ANON lol u r funny

[Leo999]

What's your point?

[NerdInDenial]

And?

[ChristianThermals]

wym 🙂

[arealgirl100]

Does this explain anything about his mindset towards me? As in, how much she likes me?

[ChristianThermals]

oh so he cheating on you

[arealgirl100]

Noo he'd never

[ChristianThermals]

you will never know.