Why didn’t he voluntarily pay me back?

[Anonymous]

So I live with my boyfriend and we’ve been together for a couple of years.

He’s been working for himself the past couple of months and doing very well from what he’s told me. He’s actually wasn’t more than me even and my job is quite well paid.

we went on holiday and I offered to cover him whilst he was getting his payroll set up with his accountant. Two weeks later and he told me his accountant had sorted everything and he could take a few thousand out of the business.

but then… I had to ask his for the money back to pay me and also his half of the bills. I hate having to ask and when I did he started mumbling about having to buy tools and things for the business but I know how much he’s just made so I feel a bit iffy. He paid me in the end but I had to ask him to.

Should I just put it down to him being a bit all over the place with his business or should I be wary?

Updates

+1 y

His brother owes him a couple of thousand and he won’t ask him for it back… the brother has plenty of money and goes on holidays etc so maybe that’s why I feel a bit hmm about the situation

[midnightmoon05]

If you are living together a couple of years… then it’s time to get married. He prob. thinks you two are “married” and the finance is not split like the way you think.
if you two are not married…you two are roommates… so you two need to be on the same page…

what do YOU want to do about the relationship? That will help with closing the financial confusion gap.

[Asker]

It’s interesting you say that because he has asked me to marry him and I said yes initially but since then I have sort of had some reservations so I said I’m happy to stay engaged but I want to hold off on a wedding for now so I feel like we’re clear in that respect. I don’t consider us a married couple and that’s the only circumstance I would consider that we should be pooling our money

[midnightmoon05]

What’s holding you back?

[Asker]

I think his immaturity… marriage is so legal and I don’t want to be tied to him in that way until he’s completely his own man

[midnightmoon05]

Have you discuss this?
If you living with him in the same house. He can’t be his own man.

[Asker]

Yes we have discussed it and I am now taking more of a back seat and he is having to fend for himself

[Asker]

I’m stopping mothering him tbh which was my own fault

[midnightmoon05]

Hope you two close the gap sooner…marriage is a paper. What you two are seem like a married to me. (And that’s prob. how he feels) If not… then it creates further complications with finances…and other things.
Once married… things continue to change and both continue to work out their differences in a respectful manner.
Good luck and enjoy the journey with your honey.

[ShesRad80]

no one should act like that when they borrow money. i wouldn't let him ever borrow money again if he acts like a 2 year old when having to pay it back, i would be on the look out for his other actions. you borrow you pay back thats life

[Asker]

He paid me but it’s the fact I had to ask for it that makes me feel iffy but he won’t ask his brother to pay him back. His whole family are weird with money tbh and there are other red flags so I do feel a bit worries

[ShesRad80]

that is very odd, im with you there

[rachel776]

he's overextended and doesn't know how to handle money and sounds like his accountant isn't aggressive enough with him

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think that's a red flag.

[Asker]

Can you elaborate?