Have you ever rejected someone because you think it’s too good for you?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday my friend mentioned how a guy rejected her by telling her she was too good for him. Then I recalled how a few years ago I told a guy I liked him, he showed interest and treated me with respect and care. But then he never called me as he said he would. A few months later, I saw him and he said something similar to me like...”To be honest I didn’t call because once I thought about it, you’re too good for me and don’t feel like I deserve you & make you waste time...” (That really hurt but I thought it was his way of simply rejecting me at the time).

Now, would a guy (or a girl) really reject a woman because he might authentically think she’s too much/too good for him or is that an excuse to reject the woman “painlessly”?

Thanks for reading, I hope you share your thoughts! 😊 thanks!!

[Anonymous]

I would never use the words you’re too good for me however I’ve definitely ended things with girls for something close to that idea. Or I guess that could really mean a number of things:
1. You’re too risk averse. Maybe everything seems to be in order in your life. You’re a very clean person. Well dressed. Don’t drink. don’t smoke. goes to bed before 12. At the point I am in my life I can definitely appreciate and be attracted to a girl like this but I also know I’m really incompatible with that. So In this context I’d really be saying “You’re far more conscientious than me to a degree that I think we’ll have too many issues getting along and I don’t want to change yet”
2. You’re toooo attractive. Or you’re ridiculously pretty, super nice, fun, and successful. You’re a dream girl. But I’m not and I’m convinced I’m gonna fall for you and your gonna leave and I’ll ruin my life trying to recapture that relationship with others only to be disappointed. So in this sense too good really means “I think you’re so awesome it’s making me feel really insecure and I hate feeling insecure.”
3. Lastly it’s a lie and the truth is I’m just trying to get away without having to bother with pinpointing an exact reason why I don’t want to date you. Cause the truth is I don’t know and probably will never know.

[Asker]

Thank your for your opinion! I appreciate a guy has offered deep and rational insight about the situation. All your points are valid. I think my situation with the guy fits with description 1 or 3. I’ll never really know why that guy treated me nicely & never called, then said I was too good...

[Opinion Owner]

No problem. I’m happy to help. It could honestly be both 1 & 3. We dudes rarely make a lot of sense when it comes down to dating.

[ThoughtCleric]

I think it was a user move. I back away from opportunities like that a lot only because i feel im not in her league. But i would never show someone an awesome time and then reject them. That falls under psycholigical abuse in my book. They might have done you and your friend a favor, because there might have been more of that in the form of a demeaning relationship in order to belittle you and your friend to make themselves feel better about themselves.

[Asker]

I liked your answer! Has great insight. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 😊👍🏼

[ThoughtCleric]

If you need that same kind of advise in the future. You know how to find me.

[whyisitso]

I have gotten this reason too. It was a guy that always treated me like crap. He had a bad self esteem and he always told me he was not good enough for me. So he left me several times saying I am too good for him, that he eventually can't keep me and we'll just hurt each other.

He always came back. But each time he left it hurt me so deeply. Not because I thought it was an excuse (even though I thought so at first) but because it felt like he put me in a jar. It felt like he pictured me to be something unreachable even though I am nothing like that. I am not perfect and I was hurt that he didn't know me.

[Asker]

Geez I can really relate to your story, because the guy I liked would use those type of words and reasons which seem non logical to me... they seem as an excuse but at the same time it seemed honest, so that’s the root of my confusion & questioning. Thank you, your answer made me feel as if I’m not alone on this one and that someone understands what I mean! 😊👍🏼

[whyisitso]

Good to hear it helped somewhat.

I have to tell you I think I know why he told me this. I think he was a bit of a criminal. He most likely did some drug dealing, and he used weed (this I know for sure). He probably knew he couldn't stop those habits for me and that I eventually would not put up with it.

This is just a theory, but it makes sense. It is possible it was something like that. I keep this theory in my mind every time I miss him, because it helps me understand.

[whyisitso]

Thanks for MHO ✨

[Fitness-Fanatic]

No I haven't

But a person who rejects someone because they feel the person is too good for them, obviously has low self-esteem. They don't feel worthy or deserving enough. If a person has that type of mindset , it would be best for them to work on building self-esteem before considering entering into a relationship. Going into a relationship with that frame of mind would eventually lead to an unhappy toxic relationship for both people

[lilkittenn]

I haven't, but the love of my life has many times. We started seeing each other when we were 16 and he still always comes back to me after 8 years (I'm 24 now). He treated me amazing and then all of sudden he would grow distant and disappear. He's made many mistakes that have hurt me deeply. He always felt guilty though, telling me I was too good for him, I deserved better. At first I thought it was an excuse, but now he keeps his distance for the most part. Checking up on me to make sure I'm okay every once in awhile, that he's there for me if I really need him. But he doesn't feel worthy therefore, he can't be with me. That he feels he can't treat me the way I deserve. I genuinely believe he loves me but his self esteem is extremely low. He has a lot of problems with drugs and all that. Bad homelife. Lots of personal turmoil. He's just not emotionally available.

[VictoireDauxerre]

relatable. My ex has problems with drugs too

[Jackieboi]

Im smoking a joint as im reading all the anwers and thinking "i hope there's someone who can give all the non believers a good answer as to how, soon". And then came yours. Cheers

[roughedges]

It is usually a guy's way of dealing with someone they don't think they'll be able to make happy in the long run.
I met a girl, many years ago, that had it all. This girl was beautiful, so nice, and cute... such an attractive personality! The caveat was, her parents were extremely wealthy (like incredibly rich, blueblood, etc.)
I'm not sure why she chose me. I don't know if it was genuine, or she was trying to piss of her parents by stepping across the tracks, or maybe it was a public statement about her humanity.
Anyway, after a brief but close relationship, I bolted. I knew that there was no way I'd ever be able to support her in the same lifestyle she'd grown up in, so I let her go.

[7asson]

I broke up with my girlfriend because i thought i was being unfair with her. She always calls me when im busy and i can't go out with her when she wanted me to.

But she is always free whenever i wanna go out so i broke up with her and told her that "she should be with a guy who can care for her and appreciate her" we still remain friends today which is cool

[7asson]

So i understand where this guy comes from

[Asker]

Thank you, that was refreshing to know some guys mean it and have valid reasons too.

[AlphaMale1]

I did one time. It was back in high school when this stuff mattered. One of the hottest chicks in the school who was also a cheerleader was interested in me. I felt she was in a completely different league than me so I went out of my way to avoid her. And I remember graduation day as I knew I was all done avoiding her every single weekday.

Now I realize how really dumb this was.

Teenagers lol

[Prankster13]

That's a thing. Nobody wants to be a burden or "pity partner" to their SO. And it's much harder to believe they have real feelings for you if there's not a really normal reason for them to. So they assume something else makes you want them and it's probably money or some crap I don't know. But how could it be love? So they play safe and break it off.

I have done that once in highschool. But mostly because she was OBVIOUSLY out of my league. And I am sure if I'd kept going nothing good would've become of it. She was not the nicest person anyways and I have a feeling she didn't want to go out with me because she liked me...

[SaltyBooze]

that sounds more like depression... it does happen sometimes, but there's also people who clutch on that to break up with others without sounding "too bad". i wouldn't know, they probly would know, but they won't tell. but yeah, its possible. no, i never rejected anyone because i thought they were too good for me. i heard of some people who did it, tho.

[GingerGuy]

I don't get this reason either, women use it sometimes too. If they really feel that way, they have pretty low self esteem I think, but, I think it's just an excuse for they're not interested. What they are probably saying is "your not my type", but this excuse makes it about them and not you, therefore, not hurting your feelings as much.

[Jager66]

when I was much younger yes.

The religion I was raised in had me convinced that I was a very evil person because I enjoyed masturbating and couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. So when the opportunity to be with a girl I'd shared a mutual crush on for years with came up, I rejected her because I believed I was evil and she deserved to be with someone who wouldn't lead her to hell.

[Browneye57]

Yes, of course. There are lots of people wandering around with a very poor self image - they actually don't believe they're good enough. Sad really.

On the other hand, really cute girls can be a real PITA - not worth fussing over. Nothing is ever good enough for them and you'll go broke trying to please them. The special snowflake entitlement syndrome. :)

[JustTheJosh]

I have been on the other end of this situation and at least for me it because I meant it, I knew I could never be the man she wanted because of my short comings. I imagine however there's a lot of different factors going into it everytime a guy says that, sometimes he's trying to get out of a relationship without hurting either of them as much.

[PrincessPie]

Absolutely not, Why would i reject someone who is too good for me? if anything i'd like to be with someone who was to good for me, i see nothing wrong with that, i see that as a excuse and usually just means the person isn't interested in you.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

If she's so popular and too good then I guess I would as I get many hates from people who's into her and I get overshadowed being looked down by people expecting me to be better than her. That's too much pressure. But I would be ok if she's underrated and so good.

[Eve93]

Lookk for this question and you'll find some answers
Why do men only want girls whom they can handle?
Its really surprising

[ivannna]

Yes... I thought they should be with some normal girl.. and I really thought I did them a favour. So I guess guys can be very insecure too

[zarinofy]

It sounds like a nicer way to reject someone. If it were me, I wouldn't reject someone because he is too good for me. I'd rather be happy and be good to him.

[Jackieboi]

Many times, but i never state that reason. I did once but then the real reason was that i wasn't interested. Not saying thats yoir guys reason. They may have meant it they may not, its difficult to say, each case depends on how considerate the guys are known to be in the first place. If one is known to be a "playa" would you believe him?

[BoshoM]

Lamest excuse ever,
Consider yourself lucky that you avoided this relationship.
Good luck in your life

[Leo3572]

Yes. I know a few really good girls, and well... I'm not a good guy at all. I have a lot of bad habits. I wouldn't like to be with them cause in the end my lifestyle will push them away from me.

[BrownBratzDoll]

No lol what in the name of low self esteem. If anything I would be excited or nervous cause they a rare breed that I come across. But we all shot and die at the end of the day. We just humans

[Caaarl]

Too good for you is pretty much always a lie. It's a way to let down someone easy. In what world is more positive qualities a bad thing?