Have you ever rejected someone because you think it’s too good for you?

Question

Yesterday my friend mentioned how a guy rejected her by telling her she was too good for him. Then I recalled how a few years ago I told a guy I liked him, he showed interest and treated me with respect and care. But then he never called me as he said he would. A few months later, I saw him and he said something similar to me like...”To be honest I didn’t call because once I thought about it, you’re too good for me and don’t feel like I deserve you & make you waste time...” (That really hurt but I thought it was his way of simply rejecting me at the time).

Now, would a guy (or a girl) really reject a woman because he might authentically think she’s too much/too good for him or is that an excuse to reject the woman “painlessly”?

Thanks for reading, I hope you share your thoughts! 😊 thanks!!

Now, would a guy (or a girl) really reject a woman because he might authentically think she’s too much/too good for him or is that an excuse to reject the woman “painlessly”?

Thanks for reading, I hope you share your thoughts! 😊 thanks!!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would never use the words you’re too good for me however I’ve definitely ended things with girls for something close to that idea. Or I guess that could really mean a number of things:
1. You’re too risk averse. Maybe everything seems to be in order in your life. You’re a very clean person. Well dressed. Don’t drink. don’t smoke. goes to bed before 12. At the point I am in my life I can definitely appreciate and be attracted to a girl like this but I also know I’m really incompatible with that. So In this context I’d really be saying “You’re far more conscientious than me to a degree that I think we’ll have too many issues getting along and I don’t want to change yet”
2. You’re toooo attractive. Or you’re ridiculously pretty, super nice, fun, and successful. You’re a dream girl. But I’m not and I’m convinced I’m gonna fall for you and your gonna leave and I’ll ruin my life trying to recapture that relationship with others only to be disappointed. So in this sense too good really means “I think you’re so awesome it’s making me feel really insecure and I hate feeling insecure.”
3. Lastly it’s a lie and the truth is I’m just trying to get away without having to bother with pinpointing an exact reason why I don’t want to date you. Cause the truth is I don’t know and probably will never know.

ThoughtCleric · Accepted Answer

I think it was a user move. I back away from opportunities like that a lot only because i feel im not in her league. But i would never show someone an awesome time and then reject them. That falls under psycholigical abuse in my book. They might have done you and your friend a favor, because there might have been more of that in the form of a demeaning relationship in order to belittle you and your friend to make themselves feel better about themselves.

whyisitso · Accepted Answer

I have gotten this reason too. It was a guy that always treated me like crap. He had a bad self esteem and he always told me he was not good enough for me. So he left me several times saying I am too good for him, that he eventually can't keep me and we'll just hurt each other.

He always came back. But each time he left it hurt me so deeply. Not because I thought it was an excuse (even though I thought so at first) but because it felt like he put me in a jar. It felt like he pictured me to be something unreachable even though I am nothing like that. I am not perfect and I was hurt that he didn't know me.

Fitness-Fanatic · Accepted Answer

No I haven't

But a person who rejects someone because they feel the person is too good for them, obviously has low self-esteem. They don't feel worthy or deserving enough. If a person has that type of mindset , it would be best for them to work on building self-esteem before considering entering into a relationship. Going into a relationship with that frame of mind would eventually lead to an unhappy toxic relationship for both people

lilkittenn · Answer

I haven't, but the love of my life has many times. We started seeing each other when we were 16 and he still always comes back to me after 8 years (I'm 24 now). He treated me amazing and then all of sudden he would grow distant and disappear. He's made many mistakes that have hurt me deeply. He always felt guilty though, telling me I was too good for him, I deserved better. At first I thought it was an excuse, but now he keeps his distance for the most part. Checking up on me to make sure I'm okay every once in awhile, that he's there for me if I really need him. But he doesn't feel worthy therefore, he can't be with me. That he feels he can't treat me the way I deserve. I genuinely believe he loves me but his self esteem is extremely low. He has a lot of problems with drugs and all that. Bad homelife. Lots of personal turmoil. He's just not emotionally available.

roughedges · Answer

It is usually a guy's way of dealing with someone they don't think they'll be able to make happy in the long run.
I met a girl, many years ago, that had it all. This girl was beautiful, so nice, and cute... such an attractive personality! The caveat was, her parents were extremely wealthy (like incredibly rich, blueblood, etc.)
I'm not sure why she chose me. I don't know if it was genuine, or she was trying to piss of her parents by stepping across the tracks, or maybe it was a public statement about her humanity.
Anyway, after a brief but close relationship, I bolted. I knew that there was no way I'd ever be able to support her in the same lifestyle she'd grown up in, so I let her go.

7asson · Answer

I broke up with my girlfriend because i thought i was being unfair with her. She always calls me when im busy and i can't go out with her when she wanted me to.

But she is always free whenever i wanna go out so i broke up with her and told her that "she should be with a guy who can care for her and appreciate her" we still remain friends today which is cool

AlphaMale1 · Answer

I did one time. It was back in high school when this stuff mattered. One of the hottest chicks in the school who was also a cheerleader was interested in me. I felt she was in a completely different league than me so I went out of my way to avoid her. And I remember graduation day as I knew I was all done avoiding her every single weekday.

Now I realize how really dumb this was.

Teenagers lol

Prankster13 · Answer

That's a thing. Nobody wants to be a burden or "pity partner" to their SO. And it's much harder to believe they have real feelings for you if there's not a really normal reason for them to. So they assume something else makes you want them and it's probably money or some crap I don't know. But how could it be love? So they play safe and break it off.

I have done that once in highschool. But mostly because she was OBVIOUSLY out of my league. And I am sure if I'd kept going nothing good would've become of it. She was not the nicest person anyways and I have a feeling she didn't want to go out with me because she liked me...

SaltyBooze · Answer

that sounds more like depression... it does happen sometimes, but there's also people who clutch on that to break up with others without sounding "too bad". i wouldn't know, they probly would know, but they won't tell. but yeah, its possible. no, i never rejected anyone because i thought they were too good for me. i heard of some people who did it, tho.

GingerGuy · Answer

I don't get this reason either, women use it sometimes too. If they really feel that way, they have pretty low self esteem I think, but, I think it's just an excuse for they're not interested. What they are probably saying is "your not my type", but this excuse makes it about them and not you, therefore, not hurting your feelings as much.

Jager66 · Answer

when I was much younger yes.

The religion I was raised in had me convinced that I was a very evil person because I enjoyed masturbating and couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. So when the opportunity to be with a girl I'd shared a mutual crush on for years with came up, I rejected her because I believed I was evil and she deserved to be with someone who wouldn't lead her to hell.

Browneye57 · Answer

Yes, of course. There are lots of people wandering around with a very poor self image - they actually don't believe they're good enough. Sad really.

On the other hand, really cute girls can be a real PITA - not worth fussing over. Nothing is ever good enough for them and you'll go broke trying to please them. The special snowflake entitlement syndrome. :)

JustTheJosh · Answer

I have been on the other end of this situation and at least for me it because I meant it, I knew I could never be the man she wanted because of my short comings. I imagine however there's a lot of different factors going into it everytime a guy says that, sometimes he's trying to get out of a relationship without hurting either of them as much.

PrincessPie · Answer

Absolutely not, Why would i reject someone who is too good for me? if anything i'd like to be with someone who was to good for me, i see nothing wrong with that, i see that as a excuse and usually just means the person isn't interested in you.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

If she's so popular and too good then I guess I would as I get many hates from people who's into her and I get overshadowed being looked down by people expecting me to be better than her. That's too much pressure. But I would be ok if she's underrated and so good.

Eve93 · Answer

Lookk for this question and you'll find some answers Why do men only want girls whom they can handle? Its really surprising

ivannna · Answer

Yes... I thought they should be with some normal girl.. and I really thought I did them a favour. So I guess guys can be very insecure too

zarinofy · Answer

It sounds like a nicer way to reject someone. If it were me, I wouldn't reject someone because he is too good for me. I'd rather be happy and be good to him.

Jackieboi · Answer

Many times, but i never state that reason. I did once but then the real reason was that i wasn't interested. Not saying thats yoir guys reason. They may have meant it they may not, its difficult to say, each case depends on how considerate the guys are known to be in the first place. If one is known to be a "playa" would you believe him?

BoshoM · Answer

Lamest excuse ever, Consider yourself lucky that you avoided this relationship. Good luck in your life

Leo3572 · Answer

Yes. I know a few really good girls, and well... I'm not a good guy at all. I have a lot of bad habits. I wouldn't like to be with them cause in the end my lifestyle will push them away from me.

BrownBratzDoll · Answer

No lol what in the name of low self esteem. If anything I would be excited or nervous cause they a rare breed that I come across. But we all shot and die at the end of the day. We just humans

Caaarl · Answer

Too good for you is pretty much always a lie. It's a way to let down someone easy. In what world is more positive qualities a bad thing?

Mikey_Ramone · Answer

It goes the opposite way - I got rejected and friendzoned. "Would you like us to be sister and brother?" - Ermm no thanks lady.

lernulo · Answer

In all those cases its an excuse, there are few cases in which its real. Its when you can put in danger your loved one. But its used more when you are in fact into a relationship

umee_21 · Answer

Yeah I HAVE DONE THAT!! And i think it's a part of self awareness, knowing that you deserve her or not... Everybody should know one's self...

And, this is just my opinion... tbh, this excuse is mostly used for a PAINLESS rejection...

imanf7 · Answer

Either lying or have bad self esteem and no confidence

SaintJonesy · Answer

I haven't, but I was rejected once with this being the reason. I still don't know if I believe it, but I try to treat others like I would like to be treated; therefore, I take the statement at face-value.

markscott · Answer

Not really so much because she was too good, but because I'm not into high maintenance girls, and too often, hot girls are high maintenance, and not worth the trouble. of course, there are exceptions.

Anonymous · Answer

thats excuse but ffs why should you date someone who is not attracted to you? What is point there then lol. I will date women who i find cute&hot and not ugly, you are not sexy to everyone but to someone you are, there is no thing "ugly person"

HikerDude · Answer

Yeah, a lot of guys have low self-esteem and don't think they "deserve" a relationship with a beautiful, good woman, as if one can deserve such a thing. They think eventually the girl will figure out that she can do better, so why try?

Ecklyn · Answer

If I feel I can't offer or give someone what I feel they deserve, yes I would reject them because I think they're too good for me. I know in a way it makes no sense but that's how I feel sometimes.

deverde · Answer

In my opinion no one will reject something that he / she wants. Rejecting someone by telling him / here that they are to good for you it means exactlly the oposit.

ChronicThinker · Answer

I can't say I've done this.

kharos · Answer

Telling such words is always comes to "thanks but no" in a peaceful manner. The other side of rejection is complete silence from the other is a way to tell "I don't want to talk to you anymore".
Third one is the harsh way but thats too hostile.

Anonymous · Answer

I kind of have. A girl in high school asked me whether I wanted to go to a party and I thought she was way above my league so it must be some kind of joke.

Ayer93 · Answer

Lmao I wish girls came up to me and asked me out at all. I would never reject a beautiful girl, but I'd probably get a little insecure being around her haha.

RDavies · Answer

Yes, I regret it but I feel like it works out in the end because I don't want then living with the regret

Dishant007 · Answer

No that's absurd, No guy will say things like that unless he is bored with you and wants another , if you are too good then he should definitely keep u not talk like that,

ScaryCool · Answer

No lol People who do that are either: A.) Lying to protect feelings  or  B.) Way to insecure.

BeHappy1985 · Answer

LMAO I'm sure that's the reason.

TinaSP · Answer

Nope. Normally they aren't good enough. Well... lately there are exceptions.

Sarcastro · Answer

That's letting the girl down easy. It's better to be truthful and break up saying its ME that's too good for YOU

Guanfei · Answer

Only friends, so far, last one was last month, and I still think she was too good for me. But again, anyone is too good for me.

stuntbrain · Answer

Never met anyone that I consider to be too good for me.

Guardian365 · Answer

No I've only rejected one girl and that's because she was a crazy stalker who was extremely emotional...

Mellissa80 · Answer

No, that is a lie.. A twisted way to evade..

Anonymous · Answer

no lol!!! I do not think any women is better then me  IM BETTER THEN ALL YOU BITCHES FROM THE HOTTEST TO THE UGLIEST

JohnFrost · Answer

Maybe in the context of you are to ambitious for me. I can't keep up with you.

sorravit · Answer

No, if you think the girl is too good, then be a better person

uhvlone · Answer

Yeah, I had a girl and I just didn't wanna set her up for disappointment

woooooooo · Answer

I think that they thought of them as being too good for them.

Lance1965 · Answer

No, I just don't bother in the first place.

Abbas1996 · Answer

It's obviously an excuse

colonthree · Answer

"Too good for me" That reeks of bullshit

jahronimo · Answer

stupidest thing ever.

Anonymous · Answer

Haven’t we all at some point?

torwulf · Answer

No. Nobody is too good for me, im an amazing guy

britpop · Answer

Yeah

Darkstar1 · Answer

No, I actually haven't

Slim57 · Answer

No that would be dumb

deric_97 · Answer

Nah.

Anonymous · Answer

I did once

Have you ever rejected someone because you think it’s too good for you?

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