Can possessive guys be dangerous?

[Anonymous]

This guy has been acting very clingy with me. He can't go a single day without talking to me and even a week without seeing me. He's also awfully concerned about my health and well being and can tell how I'm feeling just by looking at my face.

He stares at me all the time and just can't keep his eyes off of me. Today he was terribly sick but he still came to see me. He also got jealous just because I was exchanging eye contact with a guy and we were both smiling at each other (we were sharing a private joke).

Lately, I've been getting very uncomfortable with the way he's been staring at me. He watches my every move and just can't take his eyes off of me. I'm getting a bit creeped out and I've tried by rude and dismissive with him but it's like he just won't take no for an answer. He still keeps acting all lovesick and creepy around me.

He doesn't behave this way with any other girl and is known for being a very nice and well mannered guy. I'm getting kinda scared with the way he's been acting with me. Can he be dangerous or something? Also, why is he behaving this way only with me?

[bamesjond0069]

He is behaving that way because he likes you? It doesn't mean he is dangerous per se but you know random men don't usually attack women, its always the men you know.

I am very possessive and I don't act like that really. I am not dangerous unless you screw around with me. I think some guys will get dangerous for whatever reason but a good amount will only if you abuse them. Like im not a stalker type but say you told me to meet you at a restaurant tonight and dont show up because you think I don't know maybe im dangerous, well now I will show up at your house partially because i think maybe you just forgot but partially if you did it on purpose you damn sure deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable. See what I mean? Your behaviors will invite circumstances like this. At least with someone like me.

He could just be crazy on his own though and even the most polite and reasonable behavior from you will set him off. The thing about guys like this is to end it sooner than later, the more into you he gets the bigger his blow up will be. Better now if it makes him slam a door and yell versus later when he drives a car into your house or punches you in the face.

I would recommend not dicking him around and just talking to him about either not seeing him or what you want or don't want from him. Do it some place public if you are feeling nervous. Being rude or manipulative will be more likely to invite behaviors you don't want than just being straight forward, even though confronting him may be scary.

[BiggestBaddestJon]

Are you his first real girlfriend? Sounds like it. Instead of hinting by being rude/dismissive, instead sit down with him and have a serious and didn't I conversation about how this behavior makes you feel, and ask him why he does it and to stop. If he responds poorly, then it's probably time to break it off. If he acknowledges it and says he'll work on it, keep him accountable, and if he doesn't quit the disturbing behavior, break off the relationship. To answer your title question, some possessive guys can easily turn dangerous. If you ever feel threatened, leave the immediate situation and then instantly break up with him.

[Asker]

I'm not his girlfriend. We're just on friendly terms with each other.

[BiggestBaddestJon]

Oh I misread. Sounds like y'all don't need to be on friendly terms anymore. This is how stalkers are born. Don't be alone with this guy and try to avoid him if at all possible. Hopefully he'll get the hint and knock it off.

[Asker]

Do you think he could do something inappropriate if we're alone together? I have to do a school project with him alone and that would require us to meet alone several times.

[BiggestBaddestJon]

Let me give a disclaimer that I'm providing this advice without first-hand knowledge of the situation.

With that said, he probably won't do anything inappropriate, but it is possible. Can you not meet in a public place, around other people you trust, or bring a friend? You are worried about this guy for some reason, and it's a good idea to trust your gut feelings in situations like this.

[Asker]

So why did you say that I shouldn't be alone with him?

[BiggestBaddestJon]

? I still don't think you should be alone with him. Yes the probability of something happening is low, but why take a chance? Like I said, can you not work in a public place or bring a friend? And if you feel really strongly about it, maybe the teacher/professor will let you work with someone else.

[Anonymous]

The deeper you get with this guy, the more he will be possessive. As he gets closer to you, the more he will believe he has you trapped and will want to control you.

It sounds to me like he is a control freak in the making. Do not be taken in by emotional blackmail. That is another of the tactics of a possessive control freak.

Personally, I would end it right now. The signs are there.

[Asker]

End what? lol we're not in a relationship. We're just on friendly terms with each other.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he is still a control freak in the making. I would still back off, whatever!

[Asker]

I've already backed off like I said I've tried being rude and dismissive. I pretend like he doesn't exist but he's still not getting it.

[Opinion Owner]

Then you have to get more serious! Like getting some sort of legal restriction order.

[Itsonlyme2]

I think you should try your best to avoid this guy in every way possible most time these are the guys that kill you when you move on or try to get away from them don`t let it go further

[Asker]

Kill? Isn't that going a bit far?

[abundantlyrich]

Ofc they are. He's obsessed with you. Fatal attraction.

[Asker]

You mean stalker kind of obsessed? Also, I have to spend some time with him alone for a project several times. What should I do?

[abundantlyrich]

Let your family know when your with him

[lillz10]

I wouldn't be alone with him and if you are try stay in public places no lonely walks in the park

[Anonymous]

Kill is not going a bit far. Domestic violence can end in death.

[jakeofalltrades]

yes they can be

[Asker]

Did you read the details?

[Samantha2448]

Yeah they can

[Anonymous]

Very