Okay, so think of a situation where you were nervous of making a mistake that would make you look or feel like an idiot. And this is why people feel embarrassed, nervous, anxious, and/or intimidated. Growing up and going through school, we know the kid that makes comments or asks questions that are stupid/dumb/etc. As the observer we know for a fact that we do not want to be seen in a negative way. If you do make such a comment that make people laugh at you or dislike you, they would either feel embarrassed or intimidated by the class as everyone else "knows" what is going on in the class.
So now lets take that experience and apply it when approaching someone you want to "impress" (Key). Now the person has a goal which is to get the attention and to maintain it. So this comes a back to knowing that failure means that you'll be embarrassed by others around you and to yourself (maybe). Now not everyone will feel that way, some are comfortable with failure and learned how to manage that. But in this case, it is like a life or death situation in their minds because in the end for the person making the approach, it means something more than getting to know a person. It is the ability to get recognition of someone they deem that has a higher status than them. If they fail then they did not meet the expectations and feel worthless. If they succeed then they are on top of the world.
So to sum it up, it has literally nothing to with you but what the person imagine you as (eg. above them or someone they cannot have). Not a lot of people want to risk their image to pursue someone and get rejected. Not a lot of people are comfortable or able to step away from that cliche that they only got one shot. It is a risk and reward mindset. So to flip it on your side, would you approach a guy you found attractive or interesting? Does thinking about your approach to him make you nervous? Are you nervous around him?
That can be confused with love/crushing but that is because you hold him in a higher regard/status. Most people can have a regular conversation with others without feeling intimated. The difference is what you want to gain out of that conversation.
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Yes. Not for the reasons most women think.
Many omen tend to think that guys are intimidated by their intelligence, their career success etc. That's not what intimidates guys. I don't know whether they think that because they just like the idea of it, or because that's what they find intimidating in men and falsely assume that men must feel the same way about them.
What intimidates a lot of guys is a good looking woman. The intimidation comes from a fear of rejection mainly. The idea that the girl will kind of look down on him because she believe herself to be "out of his league".
Most guys are afraid of showing sexual interest in a girl, only the most confident/the guys who don't give a shit are able to do that. We hear a lot about fuckboys, guys who "only want one thing", creeps. When we're younger also often people will mock a boy when he has a crush on some girl or a girlfriend. Women complain a lot about slut-shaming and they claim that men aren't shamed for our sexuality at all, but in some ways we are and this is how it affects them.
When a guy is afraid of that and he meets a girl he finds really attractive, it's hard not to show attraction. Even if he doesn't say anything he knows it will show through his body language, and this makes him nervous because he automatically thinks that showing this will make her think that he's some pathetic thirsty guy/creepy.
So those guys will avoid approaching you, talking to you, making eye contact with you, out of fear of all of that. I was like that when I was younger.
Some men may be intimidated by your confidence because you walk in a natural authority. Men are innate hunters, generally they prefer to pursue. However, the fact that you could display that you’re confident in yourself may instantly trigger thoughts or feelings of inadequacy in approaching you in fears of rejection or inability to perform or please such a confident young girl. Don’t worry... the right person who is supposed to see your value will pursue no matter what. If they don’t then it’s not meant to be they are not for you they are for another type of girl. Don’t let it affect you, because you are not meant to be getting excessive attention from all guys. Quality over quantity.
I mean... it really just depends on the guy. Like not all “guy stereotypes” can be pinned on every person of the male gender. Maybe it was your confidence, or maybe the dude was just an idiot and couldn’t come up with a better excuse for dumping, maybe he felt inferior to you because you may have a superior intellect, or your just dominant and those guys just, for some reason, didn’t like that (don’t most guys like confidence in a woman, like wtf? I even admire people with confidence.) . I mean there are so many factors which lead to this. The best piece of advice I can give you, is to just move on and find someone more worthy of you.
My boss has told me that. I am 16 and I am very outgoing I have been told by many people. I also am not afraid of talking to anybody and I am not shy at all. If I like you I will tell you even if you are a a very confident and attractive guy. And I feel you because that is how it's going for me, all the guys at my school are like that and there's some other that only ask to fuck and I refuse and instead ask to be friends or get to know each other and sometimes I find them very childish and they turn out to be airheads anyways
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The thing people often overlook is that the majority of humans are not in control over their own thoughts and emotions. They don't percieve the mechanisms that drive their influences and impulses. Typically the person has a type of simulation process happening through their imagination which appears to be almost invisible and creates projectories of all the events they encounter or are apart of. They then act in accordance to these simulations and as Shakespear put it "The world is a stage and the people merely players" people put on literal acts to fit into the scheme of their imagination. Inevidably people whom are not too self aware will be unable to access these thoughts and will show signs of being intimidated simply due to the plausabilities that strategy evokes. So, men get intimidated by women, more so it needs no gendering. People default to act intimidated by things outside of their control and perception. In that case there are things that need to be externally expressed and verified that may escape conscious awareness. Creating the platform so that the mysteries of the unknown can be interacted with in a way that can allow people to explore. So it may not be them, it may be how you present yourself that is more important to note.
Yep. I was intimidated by one girl because she was taller than me. I was not necessarily insecure about my height, but in my mind there was no way that 6 foot goddess would date me, based on other guys she liked. I think it was the knowledge that I could never be with her that intimidated me, if that makes sense.
Other than that rare situation, no, girls do not intimidate me. What does often intimidate guys is circumstance. A girl in a group of girls for instance, or a girl walking briskly down a sidewalk, or a girl waiting tables, or working out, or working in a library, or doing honework in a library, etc. When girls look like they are super busy, in a hurry, or should not be interrupted, most guys (even if part of them instantly wants to amrry the girl) will not approach because they dont want to be rude. Jerks have no problem interrupting, but most guys figure they'll wait for a better opportunity if possible. Maybe you look super busy all the time and no one wants to be rude and bother you.I don't think it's girls that are intimidating, but a lot of guys can get intimidated by a particular type of situation with a girl. I know when I was younger there was some fear around talking to girls I liked. Not so much talking to them as it was talking to them while making it clear it's not platonic. I'd say 99% of guys can have a platonic conversation with any girl they like no problem.
Having a conversation with the premise that something romantic and/or sexual might happen with the risk of decline, along with the unintended consequences is very different. Because most of the time it's not just how she responds, but the reactions of others who saw what happened.
I think some guys genuinely have to prove to themselves they can talk to a girl in that way and not get punched. Even tho in the right/wrong environment talking to a girl can get you punched lol. Girls don't have to be concerned with that. I've talked to girls whom I didn't know had boyfriends, they didn't say they did and I had to deal with "almost fights" because of it.Some guys are. But there plenty who aren't. If someone isn't being approached, that's not the reason.
Also, don't confuse being shy with being intimidated. They aren't the same thing. Shy guys will actually become more shy with someone they are interested in.
You've had three boyfriends at 19. That's well above average. So obviously you are getting approached unless you are the one making the move. You may be over estimating how much other women get approached. It's easy to notice the ones who get approached a lot, and not notice the "normal" ones who don't get approached often, or not at all.Yes, it happens. I'm not suggesting that it's universal, but if a girl is beautiful, that can be intimidating, and if she's not especially outgoing (and especially if that is coupled with "resting bitch face"), then many guys would be intimidated by her - meaning, they might find her physically attractive, but they'd feel that the likelihood of being rejected is high, so they'll never try to get to know her.
Most guys would rather face physical pain or even a deadly threat than to face rejection by a girl - especially in any public situation. So, they on'y approach girls who show some specific interest or who are very outgoing and easy-going, because even if those girls reject him, they're likely to do it in a nice way. But girls who seem to keep to themselves, or don't seem overly warm, flirty, or outgoing, are seen as a "high risk" (of being rejected), and many guys will actively avoid them for that reason.Guys are more prone to be intimidated by women nowadays. I will present anecdotal information with factual basis.
Women often talk about how they don’t need a man and life is better without one.
Ever realized how quick guys are to give expensive gifts to women? Humans affiliate gifts with positivity.
It’s a lot harder to get a woman to want you than it is to need you. It’s also easier to get rid things you want as opposed to things you need.
With women being so largely “independent” it’s easy to assume that a woman will throw us away when they don’t want us anymore. Realistically... Who wants to be discarded. :(
A girl told me that her daughter is the reason she lives, her daughter provides unconditional love, and is teaching her how to love herself. She even said she could pleasure herself better than any guy could.
Of course her daughter wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for a man. Women quite frankly terrify me, especially the “strong and independent” type.With the current climate around interactions between girls and guys, it can be intimidating talking to any girl.
You have to be more concious of limits when talking to girls and attempt to be more considerate about their perspective in modern British culture at least.
Now this wouldn't pose such an issue unless like me your overly cautious because your not considered traditionally attractive. Some guys might be worried about hitting on a girl as they might be immediately laughed at or publickly humiliated by the interaction.
Also yes some girls can be intimidating by nature, weather they know it or not or mean to be or not.
I try to put myself out there and let girls come to me with the interaction as im wuite shy but also i overthink interactions a lot. Also when i get talking i often don't know when to stop... Just like now 😅"i've had a three boyfriends (i'm 19 now), but other than that, that's pretty much the extent of it."
Oh, only three boyfriends. How many failed relationships were you expecting on having by 19? 10? 50? I imagine three is more than a good number. Far more than a lot of people get at that age.
"i feel like i'm a pretty nice and approachable girl!"
And I'm sure Hitler thought that he was making the world a better place. Just because you see yourself one way doesn't mean others do.
"do guys actually get intimidated by girls?"
Its not so much intimidation as the perceived likelihood of being rejectedI feel like "intimidated" is kind of the wrong word. It's more like a mix of generally being shy and not knowing whether to 'go for it'. Since many people are shy in general, think about it. If, as a girl, you were really attracted to someone, developed a crush, and wanted to talk to them, but felt pressured to be the one to initiate and think up of everything to say or else it would probably never happen, don't you think you would be a little worried? ESPECIALLY if you had never done it before? It can be a very nerve-wracking experience to talk to someone new in general, let alone a crush or whatnot. It could be very emotionally damaging if it doesn't work out, at least for a time. Plus, you know nothing about the person in a lot of cases; you don't know whether they'll react coldly, awkward, confused... who knows? It really can be a gamble, or at least feel like one, sadly.
I'm not really sure how to respond to this being that you are so young. SO here goes.
1. Yes, men can be intimidated by women based on (plausible ignorance) intellectualism, strength, career paths and levels of sexuality. I'm sure there's more things that can intimidate the male counterpart, those are the possibles on top of my head.
2. Yes, they could very well be intimidated of you specifically because of you intellect, strength, career path, level of sexuality or potentially your age. Men with a sensible and respectable nature that are Much older than you will check, check and check again before conversing with you. No one wants to go to jail for messing with the wrong age limit, so it would be far more safer to meet and date someone closer to their age.Of course men get intimidated by girls. Do you not get intimidated if you meet someone you admire? Let's say, hypothetically, that you meet your favorite actor or actress. You will definitely be intimidated, because you like them so much and you want them to like you. It's the same thing with men and women. Except, in addition to that, if the woman is gorgeous the man will be fighting the fact this amazing woman is looking at or talking to him, and he feels the need to impress her because he is so impressed by her in turn.
I dont think thats the right way to put it. Its like telling girls he is being mean to you because he likes you... which depends on your point of view.
Its moreso that guys might not know what to do. Yes, he likes you but he's probably waiting for the right time or trying to motivate himself to go ahead and ask you out.
Remember, we live in a world where most men haven't been taught how this sort of thing works, how to take charge. All we have to go on is what we learn from porn and movies. I doubt you'd like something coming from those two.
Does this mean you will need to do the approaching? Dont be afraid to but just make yourself desirable and appear approachable. Dont be easy, but in the first 5 seconds, be easy.We get taught that all attention is bad, or at least I was lol. So even saying hi to someone in a social setting or on dating forums gets recieved with open hostility or crude dejection be it verbal or otherwise. And when trying to be nice or just decent person, women from my experiences tend to manipulate to get as much of it as they can, or they seemingly basesly accuse you of feeling you are entitled to something just for being nice, even when it was just what you were doing and at most maybe you were hoping to be entitled to respect being paid back in turn.
Personally it's not intimadation, but when you can think of only a handful of women that aren't toxic towards you for seemingly no reason it's hard to find reason to keep looking for the people who aren't toxic even though you know they exist, and for guys, giving attention is part of that looking for something processThat is all dependent upon the guy. Men who are mature and grounded are not intimidated by a strong and/or beautiful woman. Men who don't have much confidence are intimidated by stong/beautiful women, most because they feel they may be rejected by any advance or don't think they have what it takes to attracted and keep that type of woman. Then there are the shallow guys who's reputation is all based upon there prowess with women. Rejection by a strong/beautiful woman might hurt his rep, so he stays away from them.
The good news is that the right kind of guy for you is the type who will approach you and want to be for you. The ones who pass you by were probably not the kind you would want to keep.This depends really. If you’re very attractive especially combining that with a don’t approach me attitude then yes.
I think I approach maybe 1/100 women I find attractive. She’s getting coffee, she’s buying groceries, she’s just walking her dog, and the list goes on for me personally to not approach her. Why do you think that on average most guys who approach a women are the stereotypical “ douchebag “ cause they approach every single one.
I might be an extreme case of the she’s not interested spectrum. Doesn’t mean that approaching a women for a lot of us is damn scary, why would she talk to me?
I’m not saying be easy, but be easy. Give us a smile say hi. I know it sounds like you are us but I personally became religious when that happened.
Truly that first step is nerve wracking to me. I’m not a coward but that’s the only thing I wish was easier for me.I've honestly been bullied by girls since the 2nd grade up until middle school. From then on I kept my distance from most of them.
I guess that time, I was more attracted to quite, shy girls than outgoing loud ones (no offense if you're outgoing and loud lol).
I keep to myself, so I'm clearly an introvert, but I don't mind talking sometimes. To sum it all up, I just depends what kind of person you are, and who gravitates to you. Also, it could be a personality issue, maybe you too outgoing, or maybe you need to have a more positive vibe to attract people to you. I don't really know, but hopefully I helped share my opinion. Good luck 😁Certainly yes. I mean i am speaking for myself especially cause at this time i as a nice human male being think that female are superior about who they pick to date (ex. Tinder). And when a male gets a chance he is intimidated cause of response he expects, a simple "swipe on Tinder". To make sure first thing if you are unsure why you are not getting attention its probably cause you are looking in the wrong place. Maybe there are guys in the back you probably don't even think of talking to but try new things, make yourself uncomfortable and you will maybe find happiness and attention you are looking for.
Society has been breeding men to be that way. When a girl has the power to ruin a guys life with one phone call, yea and if there is a argument in public even if she hits him while people are laughing at him, if he raised his voice in defense he would go to jail. Hate to say it but a feminist pointed out what was happening years ago after she had a son and took interest in his future. Hopes this helps understand and if you really wanna dive through the video rabbit hole just YouTube MGTOW. Fair warning for anyone easily offended
In modern times like today, especially with better technology, and much better women's rights (in the western world), the fact that just sexually, the average woman has far more options than the average man puts women higher up socially than men. While physically, men still have their advantage over females, women in turn have the upper hand on men socially. Therefore, men might be more aprehensive to engage with women socially in a growing culture of consumerism and perhaps rampant cynisim and/or narcisism
I've been told (indirectly, like a guy told a female friend who told me) that I come across as, well, not exactly intimidating, but aloof and uninterested in conversation. That's not really true, I'm just shy and terrified of starting conversations. Small talk is really not my thing 😂
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