Why do guys friendzone girls?

Question

Like... I have a ton of guy friends and they want me to solve all their problems and keep them company and give them emotional support when they are going through breakups... but I’ve never been asked out or treated as anything more than an “advice and comfort guru.”
... why am I so undesirable? Why is so and so’s ex who just got out of an abusive relationship so much more desirable than I am? I don’t go into a friendship expecting to be asked out... at the same time, I don’t completely understand why they want me to solve all their problems and listen to them go on about their problems...

DDpsy · Accepted Answer

A few possible reasons. I will be very blunt but It will be more helpful for you. Since I don't have much info on you here are the possibilities which may apply or not apply to you..

1. You are to fat.
This can be fixed more easily than most females think. IT IS easy to get in shape. Contrary to stupid new beliefs you are not healthy or attractive at any size. Don't believe it and don't listen to anyone that tells you that toxic BS.

2. You are are physically unattractive /ugly.
This rather improbable in my opinion. If you do not suffer from some deformity or disfigurement and If you are in shape and a nice enough person for people to like being around you than a lot of guys will be/become interested.
(This is why I actually do not pursue serious female "friendships ". I have never meet a girl so ugly not to be interested in something more after a while if I can stand her enough to call her friend..)

3. They are gay.

4. They are into you but think they have no chance.

5. You offer too much validation

Yatagurusu · Accepted Answer

Guys aren't good at giving emotional advice, so guys find girls to do it. Although not any girl can give good advice for guys, in my opinion a good girl who gives good advice for guys is rare. So they may get many guys that way. Also why do you expect the guys to make the first move lol?

Commander_Red · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I've been treated like this by both men and women, probably more men treat you like this because you're a girl and they want to pick your brain for advice since they know nothing abouy women or the person they are interested in.

The fact thay you are asking this question, though, shows that you want to be more than friends because if not, why would it bother you? Another issue I see here is that you seem unconfident about yourself. Girl, go outside and meet a guy you want to date instead of looking to your circle of guy friends who you seem to treat like friends and nothing more.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

If guys confide in you they trust you and if guys date you they respect you. If you want guys to be attracted to you - you have to act like you respect and honour and value yourself and believe you are worthy of attention and sacrifice and care - some things you can do to upgrade your attractiveness include improving your posture and poise and increasing your confidence and tolerance and grit.

smg99 · Accepted Answer

Up your game do the hard work stay away from these guys. Don’t offer your valuable me time go devote to yourself. Emerge as a butterfly from
A cocoon. Get a new look go out with your guy friends, make eye contact with them then with other guys. See the sparks. Might sound too basic but that’s what it is.

Purpleronnie · Answer

I don’t think it’s a bad thing for guys to be asking your advice i mean that’s what your asking of us right? .. I think the bigger issue is that you kinda want a b/f rather than deal with fixing other people relationships. My advice.. go and get one. Also you say guy friends.. well they don’t seem much like friends if all they do is unload they’re problems on to you? You sound like a cool , sensitive abs caring girl.. so go get yourself a man :)

Rangers · Answer

I feel the best way to do this is to provide the best real example I have. I'm making up names for this rather than using their real names. I met a girl at work who's name is Carla, we vibed very well, I always knew how to make her laugh nudge feelings just enough to make her blush, but wonder what I was going to do next. A week later, I also met Angela, we vibed well, but she seemed a little bit less interested in me, and it didn't flow quite as naturally, so I decided that I'd be best if me and Angela were friends, and I pursue a romantic relationship with Carla instead.

Giggletr0n · Answer

I think you have backed yourself into a corner with the guys in your life; it's not that you are unattractive or undesirable but by being there to give advice and help them out you have basically become their mother and these guys have obviously seen you as such for so long that they don't see you as anything else

mattdzz · Answer

They want a girls perspective. It isn't that you're a guru, they just aren't interested in you; so, they are open to discussing dating matters with you. Chances are they're not attracted to you for some reason.
IF a girl is attractive, she'll have multiple guys interested in her.

Anonymous · Answer

The same reason why girls friendzone some guys. No feelings, not interested, etc. You make it sound like guys aren’t allowed to do so. You can't force something that isn't there.

alsto · Answer

It's possibly because (as you said it yourself) you don't go into friendships expecting to be asked out and that can be easily picked up by those around you. So they guys around feel like they have already been friendliness, and as they saying goes 'you get what you give'.

On_the_other_hand · Answer

Why don't you ask girls why they friend zone guys and they will give you the same answer that a guy would give for why he does it to a girl.

You are only in the friend zone if you want the guy as more than a friend.

If that is the case I always say fuck the friend zone. Let the know how you feel and if they aint' interested... walk away.

SongBird3 · Answer

Because your their friend, thats your job. Its seems like you just feel bootyhurt that they see u only as a friend. I give a lot of male friends advice and I dont think their ex is better than me. I have confidence in myself.
U are not entitled to a boyfriend just because your nice to them and give advice. Girls can friendzone just as easily

CluelesslyClueless · Answer

I recently read a question by a girl asking why her guy friend stopped talking to her after she got a boyfriend.
Someone replied "Don't call it the friendzone, call it what it is - rejected."

You were rejected.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Well you're trying to be their friends so they see you as a friend. Simple as that. You gotta flirt when you first get to know someone if you want them to see you as more than friends.

You're being the female equivalent of a nice guy getting pissed off that they don't like you despite you doing them favours, giving them advice etc. Nobody owes anyone anything, it's up to you to take action and make things happen.

Rose8900 · Answer

their loss, you sound like a sweet and caring person to me. Maybe try mild flirting or talk about yourself rather than just listening to their problems.

despop · Answer

Sounds like there are a lot of emotionally incapable men in your friend circle. They haven't learned how to process these emotions internally, which is fine, but they also haven't learned the difference between a friend and a therapist.

JDavid25 · Answer

Well either they don't think you are attractive, they think you are attractive but somethin about you makes them turn away romantically, or maybe none of them ever think you ever liked or cared about any of that with them..

Daniel3035 · Answer

😅😂😂🤣😂🤣 gtf out of here.
Guys friendzone? 😂 your gunna kill me.
When would a guy friendzone? You can only friendzone someone who is asking you out. Guys ask girls out. Girls don’t ask guys out girls are far too afraid to approach a guy let alone ask him out.

Sweatyotterr · Answer

Not everyone wants to date u have to find someone who wants to date some people just like to keep it real

stormbreaker06 · Answer

Not interested. Or they wanted to sex but your playing too hard so they just keep you close just incase

demonics · Answer

Are you fat and/or ugly? Thats usually my reason. Sorry kids, nicest girl ever works at my local grocer, probably 50 lbs overweight. I'd be doing both of us a disservice if I don't find them attractive. I'd be lying to myself and her.

coolcats360 · Answer

Maybe because your not showing them any signs you like them

BeingSingleSucks · Answer

If you're ugly, then get some plastic surgery to get a different looking face if you have the money. That's the only solution for that one I think. If you're fat, buy a stairmaater or a gym membership and change to a good diet if not already on one. Or perhaps you're chest and butt are too flat (there's plastic surgery for that too).

I don't think it's anything else since these guys are using you as their advice guru, which means you're probably sane, smart, and everything like that.

MrCryptic · Answer

I'm going to be upfront, blunt, honest, and to the point. They probably think you're ugly. Men value physical attraction above so many other things whether they want to admit it or not.

Why do guys friendzone girls?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do guys friendzone girls?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.