Do you honestly think you'll be alone forever and why? (Page 2)

Question

It's probably just specific to people on this site, but lately I've been talking to users (mostly guys, but some girls) who believe they'll be alone forever.I don't know where they get this idea. I find that most often times it's people standing in their own way and putting themselves down for things they can change with a little hard work or allowing quasi-rejection or rejection to stop them cold turkey.Do you honestly think you'll be alone forever and why?I'm single, yes. But I'm not going to cry a river about it and wait to die of old age alone... I don't have that kind of attitude and it pains me to see that other people give up so easily. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

DamnItJim · Answer

Relationships require compromises. It is not in me to do that and even if I do, at the end of the day, I am still resented for being right in the first place when whatever I compromised on goes bad. It is also very frustrating having to watch someone (especially if you care about them) do something you know is going to end badly (think of the sensation of not wanting to watch the cringe scene in a film but add caring about the character too).

If matching people's personalities where fitting jigsaw pieces together analogy:
most peoples jigsaw pieces would be made of wood or card so could have small edges trimmed in order to fit with a partner. some people have jigsaw pieces made of cast iron or diamond and the only way to match them is to find an exact match or a piece willing to trim itself a lot (I doubt I could respect someone willing to abandon so much of what makes them who they are just to please someone else). finding two pieces that match perfectly is not easy in such a large jigsaw puzzle and jigsaws are not all that fun so...

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, probably. My father told me when I was very young that some people don't have it. He only married my mother because she became pregnant with me, and he said he regarded it as a mistake. That I was allowed to be born and that he married my mom. He said some people don't have what it takes. Some people just aren't good enough to be loved, even by their own father. Or by their own mother. My dad taught me how to act more normal.

He was right, some people are not lovable just as some people are lovable. All of the girls I've dated approached me first, and I'm getting old enough that I don't think it will happen anymore regardless of how much money I make or how good looking or smart I am. Some people are meant to be alone, to live alone and to die alone.

I don't feel that this is something that is unfortunate or sad, in fact I don't feel anything about it at all. I don't care about having sex with women and generally only maintain friendships that will benefit my livelihood. When I read about George Sodini or Timothy McVeigh or the Columbine kids, I understand where they were coming from. And it makes me sad for them, because it wasn't their fault.

The world is wrong. People are narrow-minded and foolishly superficial, and judge others based off of petty things like appearances and silly things such as how well they adhere to social norms. Why would any sane person want to fit in to this broken world and walk among the rabble? And how could anyone really be stupid enough to look at how f***ed up things are and believe earnestly that there is a God that loves this world.

That's the height of human stupidity.

daendisnigh · Answer

I have already taken into consideration this will happen to me and I am doing everything to keep under control.

I honestly think just because you are in a relationship, it does not necessarily mean you will be happy, or happy forever. It does not guarantee any kind of happiness.

Nothing is certain or guaranteed. It kind of like this: Things tend to change anyway. What you are interested today or is important to you, you may feel different about it tomorrow or eventually. And things or people that you were previously not interested, or hated, etc.,... You may yet feel different about later on.

Happiness comes from within ourselves. We should not depend on someone or even something else to make us feel happy.

I believe we should all learn to depend entirely on ourselves as much as possible.

We must strive to become self reliable, self sufficient, and never give up hope to live and survive, even if that means the hard way and that we have to do it all on our own.

And also to enjoy whatever time we have left here or whatever that is left worthy of our own interests.

Why? Because the past can never be altered, the future has not happened yet and very difficult to predict, and the present will never happen again and will eventually become the past. Just live for the moment. Focus on what really matters to us, what is really real.

Other that that ultimately we will all die alone somehow any way. Even if you were married, either you or your spouse will die first, and unless for some reason you happen to both die at the same time from an accident or whatever, one of you will be left all alone regardless, and moreso if you do not have any kind of social support group, friends or children.

unlovedguy · Answer

Ok. Here's my attributes: I am 21 years old. I am going to be 22 years old soon. So why I don't want to be in any relationships is that I can't trust to any girl whether she'll cheat on me or not. I would make any kind of tests to her such as prenup and DNA tests. Cause I want to be sure that everything is fine with her. I also don't find myself attractive. I do have some things to do in my life and I am not stable mentally so it's just a turn-off to any people. I am anti social. I don't really like interacting with people. I also don't want to try to keep her interest on me. I don't want my independence taken by women. Once you're in a relationship, all your independence you had before will be gone drastically. I also don't see any point on having a relationship. Like c'mon. It's not a big deal. And it's not the most important thing in this life. I also don't think that no girl will find me good. I take care of my looking, I take care of my self-grooming on a daily basis. I have bath every day. But none of those will make me any better. So since I am that shitty and desperate, I better off stay single. By this way, people won't have to know a fucked-up guy like me.

TechGuyRy · Answer

My name is Ryan. I am pretty sure I am going to be alone forever. I am 26 years old and I have never been in any kind of serious relationship. I don't know anyone (I really only know two people apart from my family). There is a good chance I am going to be alone because in life people don't like me even before they meet me. I am a nice guy. I believe in fairness and kindness to everyone and I treat a woman with respect and gentleness, but I am not very good looking. I have a good job, live on my own and support myself, but it is basically impossible for me to meet a girl. I was standing at a red light trying to cross the street yesterday standing next to a girl when she took two steps away from me. When girls see me they will run away as fast as they can. I have to face the music: I am designed to be alone, for reasons I don't fully understand, but they are there anyway. Anyway, I would love to meet a nice girl, but I guess it just isn't going to happen. It hurts every day, but what is a guy supposed to do?

CplClegg · Answer

Yes I will be alone forever. Simple answer: God has cursed me. Long answer: I started puberty when I was 12. I turn 32 in a month and a half. 20 years and no girlfriend. I have tried every stupid tip under the sun. The only explanation is God had cursed me. What do I look like you ask? Well let me tell you: I'm 6,5 210 lbs and moderately muscular. I have a small pot belly but other than that I am athletic and cute. I don't get nervous around women or people in general because I grew up in a tough neighborhood and ran with some hard people. Every girl I have ever known says I'm cute and will find a girl but I have been hearing that for 20 freaking years.

I'm tired of girls lying to me as if its okay. I'm tired of them telling me I will find someone as if they can look into the future. I'm tired of girls telling me I'm cute. I'm really, honestly, starting to think that I'm not. That it is all a lie to make me feel better. I'm tired of nothing working. Being nice to girls is natural for me but being mean to girls is easy when your angry about being single. Nothing works. Nothing.

Misssixty83 · Answer

I LOVE your question. I think when people date and all you get it knock backs or people using you and you realize just how hard it actually is out there then you do start to wonder if your someone is out there and if so, if they will ever find you.

I was talking to a woman at work and she said "If you got refused for jobs you applied for, would you consider yourself unemployable" and I said, "no, as I know eventually you would find a job" and she said it's the same thing.

So logic says I will find someone eventually but experience tells you not, but I do know that feeling. I also won't cry about it though. Life is too short, it's for living and loving. If I'm meant to be with someone then I hope they won't pass me by.

Again, great question :o)

~X~X~X~

mommahen · Answer

I think it's highly unlikely that I'll ever be in a relationship again. I have three small children, ton's of drama with their dad and I'm very traditional at heart. I'm rather upset that he left and I'm getting a divorce as I would have never never sought divorce to resolve myself. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust my own judgement again and I know I have too much baggage for a good man. I have no interest at all in sleeping around. My attempts at dating so far have led me to clingy men with terrible issues to men who want to date b/c they see that I'm single with children and assume I'm an easy slut. Honestly, I'd rather be alone with the few freedom's and controls I have as a single mom than settle for a man who's got low enough self esteem to want a woman who's a mess with so much baggage. My husband left b/c of his own issues, I deserve better... not trying to sound like I think I'm better than anyone else, just stating fact's. I am a good mom, was a good wife, and I worked hard for my place in life. Three kids is kinda a cutoff number though. So yes, pretty sure I'll live the rest of my life alone. It's too much work, physically and emotionally, to care about a relationship when you're this tired from being full time mom and employee.

objectivetruth · Answer

I've discovered that some GaG users find comfort in wallowing in their misery while posting their lonely rantings in this website...instead of walking away from the computer, leaving the house and seeking potential partners. This is testified by the fact that some people have excessive xper points that directly translates to their lack of outgoing habits and/or real friends. My suggestion: get of facebook or the internet entirely, for once, and start mingling with people in the mall, the school library, wherever.

drummerdude27 · Answer

i am not going to die alone, chances are I will meet someone I can love and who loves me in college because that's where the odds are in my favor. right now I am in between girls but I think I have enough friends that they will be by me even when I don't have a girl on my arm all the time. relationships go, I get rejected but in the end it really doesn't matter because guess what.? I will be OK, move on, find a new, hotter girl with a better personality until I find the girl that is my world and who I can say I love and mean it. I will find the girl who I won't have a doubt in my mind that she is for me. I may sound a little facetious but that is really my mind set. sometimes I strey from that but I think when I'm in this mood I feel better and things work for me. I like to be able to get my swag back and go out and show the girls what they want haha.

ohh and since you are single... nahhh never mind hahaha

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like a lot of those people are also really young. And I don't know if it's movies showing perfect couples marrying and loving each other forever at 20 or 25 but it's insanity. Oh no, you haven't found your one true love and you're already a freshman in college, clearly you'll be alone forever. People just need to relax and realize that most of the population don't find their husband/wife until they're at the end, or out of college. And I get it's hard watching other people be so happy or seeing movies and not knowing that feeling but giving up like that and that attitude isn't going to help. People just need to stay positive. That's what I think, at least.

tex151 · Answer

Nope never have and never will, even when I was single I wasn't sitting at home complaining how life sucks without a girlfriend. I was out there getting numbers, getting dates and getting laid, yea it can happen guys if you actually try.

You see I grew up in a time when there were no cell phones, no internet, and if you wanted to talk to a girl on the phone, you had to call her land line, and guess what 9 times out of 10 her dad answered wanting to know why some kid is calling for his daughter. Can you imagine that at 13 calling a girl and having to give her dad a damn good explanation why your calling her at midnight.

Man some of you guys would sh*t your pants if you had to do that in today's time in your 20s, like I said I was 13 when I had to call a girl up on the phone just to talk to her. Now all you have to do is either send a text or call her cell phone, and still some guys can't even do that.

Surfinforlife · Answer

No. Everyone has a choice to be alone or not. People who think they'll be alone forever have lost their hope. I learned that if you want something you have to go after it. Be direct and confident. Guys and girls think they'll be alone because they lost their self confidence, maybe their self-asteam, hope, etc.

I believe that life is what you make it. Those who are lonely choose to be that way.

S

BluMac81 · Answer

I do have a theory regarding why it is 'mostly guys but some girls' who think they'll be alone forever.  You see, despite women being equal in today's society, it still remains that men usually have to make the first move while the women just wait for some guy to ask them out.  It's very rare for women to ask out a man.  Because of this, men lose hope due to possible impairements in approaching women.  Usually, if a guy is shy, he loses hope, but if a girl is shy, she can still retain hope that something will eventually happen TO her (as in a guy will ask her out).  Guys love hope because without good skill in approaching women, there isn't much to hope for since the majority of women won't approach and ask out the guy, especially if he's shy.

Kalantir · Answer

I don't think giving up is a bad thing necessarily.  Before, when I did chase after girls, I failed repeatedly.   I put forth so much effort.  I've always been nice and respectful to everyone deserving.  I got nothing out of it.  So, now I've given up and I don't regret it.  I'm not saying I would turn away from an opportunity at love, but I'm not actively seeking it anymore.  As a result, I have far more time and far less heartache.  I don't sit around depressed about the fact I'm ugly anymore because I don't have constant rejection reminding me of it.    Like most ugly people, I've just come to terms with the fact that I will always be "just a friend".

luciferius · Answer

but isn't that the problem? what person is worth fighting for? I haven't seriously met a person who I think can meet my expectations and make me happy. because in truth, I don't think anyone can make me happy but myself and if I can make myself happy, which I can, why waste time on someone else who's likely to leave and not only that, cause a dent in my life? I'm a great believe in preserving time and independent happiness and so while being in love is great and all, the ability to detach yourself from life and human materials and emotions is much more logical and meaningful and this is why I think ill be alone forever but I don't cry a river about about it as you seem to suggest that all those who bemoan being single forever do, which is strange for me that you see them this way but then again, people never think much about their actions or words so it's not too improbable for people to bemoan something they chose for themselves.

stark101 · Answer

i do not know if I will end up alone or not , sometimes it does feel that way I think it is because in high school girls would manipulate me into believing that I was liked by other girls and it turned out to be false and they would have their fun for it and there are issues with my mom and dad and their f***ed up relationship but I have hope that I will find some one some day with my own determination, but for now I have to keep moving forward and get over my fear of getting close to people

although it would be nice not to have those dark days when you feel like sh*t for not having someone at your side

mrlonelyone · Answer

The problem is that people are confusing being alone...with being lonely.

Some of the loneliest people I knew were unhappily married people.

I personally have felt the most profound loneliness when I was surrounded by friends and family.

I have on the other hand felt the least lonely when I was by myself...but had someone, somewhere in my life who was with me...even if that person was 100 miles away.

Personally what has made me feel most lonely...is the fact that few people fully understand most of what I say in real time. I guess much of what I say requires a bit of thought to fully soak it in.

B2kishot87 · Answer

I always joke that I'm gonna be a lonely cat lady. Sometimes I believe that it will happen. I don't wanna be alone forever it just hurts being in a relationship then something happens and it goes wrong. Being used, cheated on, lied to always slows me down. I become sad/depressed whatever. Give myself some time to heal and try to move on. I would love someone to ask me to marry them ( not quite yet I'm only 23). All I want is to be in love and to be loved. Yet it seems that attaining that is so hard to do. I've failed plenty of times. But I get in another relationship to be hurt again. But I will say looking at the guys comments does give me hope. I know that love and true love is rare. The only true love I've witnessed is my grandparents. So as I sit and listen to the endless love songs that play on the radio I hope that one day I can have the same until death do us part.

krazEkid · Answer

you know, with the way society is these days, times change. back in the olden days girls and guys didn't really cheat or play games. they didn't have all the luxuries we have now a days. I mean its a greater possiblity to die alone these days then before. there is always someone out there for you though. it just takes a lot of experimenting, hurt, and tears to find the right person. it may take along time because its rare to find a trustful guy/girl right off the bat. I don't feel I will die alone, but I feel its going to be quite awhile before I find someone :(

Do you honestly think you'll be alone forever and why? (Page 2)

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