Do you honestly think you'll be alone forever and why?

Question

It's probably just specific to people on this site, but lately I've been talking to users (mostly guys, but some girls) who believe they'll be alone forever.

I don't know where they get this idea. I find that most often times it's people standing in their own way and putting themselves down for things they can change with a little hard work or allowing quasi-rejection or rejection to stop them cold turkey.

Do you honestly think you'll be alone forever and why?

I'm single, yes. But I'm not going to cry a river about it and wait to die of old age alone... I don't have that kind of attitude and it pains me to see that other people give up so easily.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

TheCheshireCat · Accepted Answer

I sort of do. I like being alone, but I do have a desire to eventually get married. The problem is that I'm shy & don't put myself out there. But, I don't know where to even meet men, I don't go to bars or clubs, & I live in small town. I feel like I'm just getting older, & time is slipping away. I've read someone where that men want young, beautiful, & healthy women. And every year, I'm just getting older & less desirable to men's preferences.

Also, I'm scared to be with a man. I know everyone says there is good guys out there, but I'm so used to seeing the bad ones, I think it's nearly impossible to find a nice guy. I've never actually dated, but I've observed my friends/family relationships & they are not that good. One of my sisters was married & at first he was a great guy. But then he became really depressed & started doing drugs/alcohol, & didn't give my sister the attention she deserved. She left him, & found someone else. But the guy she is currently seeing has no job, so she financially supports him. He seems like a nice guy, but who wants to financially support someone, who can afford to even if they didn't mind.

My other sister has had a bunch of negative relationships. They were all jerks, & treated her like crap. Her husband is now jobless & lives off her child support check. I found out he has been physically abusing her, & that really makes me angry. I mean, that is my sister, what you do to her, you do to me. I just don't know what I can do to help her. My dad's really upset about it too, & that brings me to my next point. My dad is great dad, & always has his kid's backs. But he is only getting older & my sisters put so much stress on him. They can't depend on their bfs/husbands, so they always come to my dad for help. I feel terrible for him, & worry about his health.

My sisters were a little rebellious when they were younger, like many teenagers, & I always felt like it was my responsibility to make that up to my parents. That I had to be good, so that they could at least have one kid who did the right things. Not that my sisters are bad, they just went through things most teenagers do. But now that I'm older, I still feel like it is my responsibility to make it up to my parents for my sister's mistakes, but not it's their choice in men. I don't want to date a waste of space, & have to depend on my father like my sisters did. I want to be independent, & if I ever get married, I want a nice guy who has good intensions.

Then there's my fear of finding a guy, but getting cheated on. This happens to so many women, I just don't want to be another victim. Some of my friends have been cheated on & their partners got STDs from the women they cheated with & passed it to my friends. I don't want to be another victim, so I guess I choose to stay away from men. But I still have the desire for a husband, I just don't know if I can overcome my fears.

Sorry this is so long by the way

hisangel · Accepted Answer

I think you hear it from guys more than girls cause of the experiences guys have had. A woman believes a guy can fall out of the sky and be her knight in shining armor because we are usually the one's being chased. You go to a store, only thinking about that gift you have to buy and a guy is trying to hit on you in the blender aisle! That makes most women hopeful that they will find someone. Even if you haven't had a lot of boyfriends in life, realizing men seem to want you, even if it's just physically, can keep a women hopeful.

Guys aren't so lucky. They have had to ask girls out and hear no over and over again. And when that happens to a guy he can start to think if those 3 or 4 girls didn't want him, then there must be something in him that all women don't want. The same way that if you had 3 or 4 boyfriends and they all broke up with you saying that there was just something about you they couldn't see marrying. Of course you would start to think you would be alone forever! Most people can only take so much rejection before they start to lose hope.

Also, in my experience, I believe men have a much, much harder time when a relationship ends then women do. I know women cry and cry for long periods of time. But you usually don't see the extremes like you see in men where they can do something like become an alcoholic from the devastation of the relationship ending. Men aren't as relational as women so when they find someone that gets in their heart, it's devastating if they lose her. This can make guys much more afraid of diving into more relationships cause it can seem like it's just a heartbreak waiting to happen. It can seem easier to be alone.

When people go to extremes like saying they will be alone forever, there usually is some serious pain in their past that has made them get to that point. It isn't just a Negative Nelly attitude. And I don't mean just their own pain. I can't say for everyone but the people I know who have taken up that kind of thinking have seen pretty painful things in life. Like I knew a guy who had an alcoholic father whose wife left him because of the poverty they lived in. It devastated the husband who had waited a lifetime to find "the right woman". And it left their kids to watch the fallout from that. When this guy got into relationships of his own they failed as well. And it destroyed him that he was reliving what he saw growing up. So he preferred to be alone then hurt someone and get hurt in return.

So sometimes it's not just fear of rejection but fear of reliving a terrible life you saw growing up. That's not something easily overcome.

Belleza · Accepted Answer

you are right and I agree with you on this 100% but I believe I will be alone forever not because I look for the perfect partner, not because he is rich or poor or lacking a certain quality but because everyone around me is either getting divorced or is getting cheated on - I was having this conversation 2 days ago with my coworker and she remarried the second time but her first husband has been perfect but this one is a lazy bum and she always complains about him and tells me - don't get married - it sucks and they will show their true colors once your in a 2 year relationship. And then my mom admitted to me that my father cheated on her and my uncles have cheated on their wives too and then I also have a friend who is sort if a womanizer but every girl who he sleeps with seems to be in a relationship so you tell me how can I possibly not think the way that I think!

And statistically 100% of men think of cheating on their partner but 20% actually cheat so there you go - why should I give someone a chance if I know in the end this won't work out!

TheGodEmperorLeto · Accepted Answer

I dunno, sometimes I feel that way, but I'm too stubborn to ever give up. I'll find someone. And even if I do end up alone, doesn't mean I won't find something. I'll find a purpose and work hard at it. I'm stubborn and persistent. I'll never give up.

Sometimes it sucks when I feel like there's really no one I can rely on or that I'm alone, I mean, well, nah that's gonna get a bit too personal and I don't care to share everything (or anything actually lol) all that often randomly with just anyone :P But ya, there are times it feels like Hell, but I'm strong, I can endure it and I'll find that which I feel I do deserve and work hard for it :P

So ya, while there are times it sucks and I feel pain for my state, I am just too damn stubborn and too strong willed to quit and not keep trying. I constantly do my best to open up and talk to people, and it tends to work out if only for the short term and I get better at talking (which is a plus), might not always get any real friendship or anything from it, but I do get improvements and that matters to me :P and I have fun for that little bit hanging out with the person working on a project or whatever. Just generally talking to them.

Still, in the end if I do end up alone, I won't end up miserable. I won't feel the happiness I do when I am with someone I love who loves me, after all there's nothing better imo, but I will find happiness of some sort. I'll make it worthwhile :|

And you, I feel you are just single cause you choose to me (i.e. can't find someone you really think deserves you which is OK or whatever). After all, you're attractive (judging from that pic hah) and your personality (judging from the few posts I've seen here) is also appealing. Generally nice, hard working, smart, and positive. That's good.

Everyone has such good qualities, shame so many refuse to acknowledge them because they compare themselves to others (not saying you do, I'm off on a tangent) and not looking at the good they offer already. I do it too, I think we're all guilty, but it's important for us to look at what we like about ourselves :P I personally think I'm quite awesome. And I could go into why, but that's OK, I don't care to seem conceited lol.

Basically, I agree with you, and it's something I realized in myself sometime ago. I was the only one really getting in my own way. Now, I'm still not THAT social or talkative, but I'm improving and it's making a difference, small, but it's progress!

Dylan1989 · Accepted Answer

Personally, I don't know whether I will be alone forever or not, but I do know that if I continue with the attitude and mindset I have right now I will definitely be alone for a very long time. I'm not going to lie, I do have insecurities and I am shy and I am definitely not the most confident of people. I spend most of my time studying and working so I don't have time to socialize with friends or potential girlfriends anymore anyway. But even if I had lots of free time I wouldn't go out trying to pick out girls and then date them and make one of them my girlfriend. I don't see the point in trying to do that when I need to fix my own insecurities first. As much as people tell me what a great guy I am and I have a big heart and how I have a golden personality and stuff, I just have trouble believing I am that worthy enough to have a girl love me like I would love her. Besides, having such great qualities means nothing unless you believe you have the self-worth to share it with someone incredible.

I've been single my whole life and for a very good reason as well. And like you, I'm not going to cry over it because it would be even worse if I got into a relationship with all these insecurities I have right now. I would rather work on myself and do the things that I enjoy and make me happy so I can increase my confidence. When I begin to love mysef then I will be ready for a REAL relationship which has the potential to turn into a long-term relationship and then hopefully marriage. Call me naive, but I hope to just get into one relationship and then get married and have kids. I'm not up for all this ''sleeping with as many women as possible before you settle'' business. I've never wanted that and I don't plan to ever be like that. Call me naive again but I am a true Christian and I believe God will bring me the right girl when the time is right.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm first going to start by saying, yes, I do think I'll end up being alone, but ultimately from my own choice. I'm going to explain my side both truthfully and anonymously, so as not to give people the impression I'm doing this for sympathy. I'll start off by saying I used to be overweight and an introvert, and also picked on in high school, alot. From guys beating me up to girls putting me down when I asked them out on a date. I soon had enough and after high school, I decided to get in serious shape and become more confident and outspoken, and decided to leave my old life behind. I've since then been told I'm much more attractive and noticeable, and have even been told this by some of the girls who made fun of me back in high school.

Now normally this would be considered a victory for most people, but all it did was make me realize something, and that was most people are attracted to superficial things, qualities that reflect themselves, or that which they wish to be found within themselves. While there are exceptions, most human beings are selfish by their basest nature, and feelings are fleeting and situational based on who you met, not some destiny love as shown in some Disney movie. All people go to find another person to satisfy the loneliness that eats away at them on a daily basis, they tell them they love them and cherish them, but when it doesn’t work out, what happens? They move on to someone else, and those previous feelings diminish. They soon tell someone else they love them, and the cycle continues, it holds no true value. As human beings, we HAVE to move on, we are SELFISH by nature, and it’s because of this nature that I do not have a high opinion of relationships. Let’s not forget abusive relationships, casual sex relationships, divorces, so many of us are just violent, impulsive creatures looking to get our next f***.

Now most people will say, “We’re not all like that.” Of COURSE we’re not all like that, and that is the kind of partner I look for in my life. Except there’s another problem, and that’s where it really starts to get complex. As a secondary result of my observations and withholdings, I’ve developed an EXTREMELY high moral standard for myself, and other people. I have a strong aversion to selfish-laden activities, the people who perpetuate abusive relationships, casual sex, and objectifying of the other gender. So much so it’s become something of a neurotic compulsion.

The result? I’m an extremely unselfish person, that borders on unhealthy habits, who also has a very narrow and unchanging mindset who thinks the whole world should be the same (NOT so good of a habit too). As a side effect I’ve been popular with women, but only chose to keep it as casual dates and hangouts, all of which I keep at arms length. Both polite and courteous, but assertive and unchanging, unflinching, because of my complexities.

Well, that’s my side of the story, I think I may need mental help or something.

Brando · Answer

Most of the time, people can only see their current situation. The fallacy with that is they apply their current situation to something in the future. Like if I looked at myself 10 years down the line, most likely I'll imagine my situation around what my current one is like. So I'll be 10 years older, but won't stop to think that things change in my life. That's what happens to people, they frame themselves in an unrealistic picture.

As for me personally, I don't know if I'll be alone forever. Despite the fact that my social skills are really not the best, I rather like my solitude and routine in my life right now. I mean don't get me wrong, I do get tired of the same old thing happening, but for some reason I'm fine with things. Just me sitting here imagining having a girlfriend is really weird to me. I don't know what it feels like or how to handle it, let alone how to really get one in the first place.

So I don't count myself out, but I can honestly say that I see myself being single for a very long time. As for the rest of my life, I can't say for sure. But in the near future, yes.

IAmAnon123 · Answer

I don't think I could sit here and logically argue that I'll be alone forever. Emotionally, however, I certainly feel that way. From my experience so far, I'm pretty sure I am not what you'd call attractive, and that scares most girls off from the start. On the rare occasion that I meet a girl who does find me attractive, things will look good briefly before they, inevitably, blow up in my face. And I really mean that. The situation never just fizzles out or dissipates over time, it backfires to the extent that I feel like I was created so that my antics could be a punchline for some form of cosmic joke. I dunno', I think there's just something inherently wrong with me, like something that can't really be explained or pinpointed through logic. I just seem to have this oddness or some unidentifiable character trait that kills any chance at a relationship I have as quickly as it forms. It's like as soon as she gets to know me it's over. I guess there's just something really off-putting about me. Wish I knew what it was.

heavenonearth · Answer

I know what you mean, I've seen a lot of questions like that too. I mean, we can give advice but it's really hard to change someone's attitude for them, they have to do it themselves. They don't have to believe me when I say they can do it, I'm just some random person on the Internet, but they need to try instead of just dwelling in their negativity.

And many of them say they do try, well then just like everything else in life all you can do is give it your best shot and hope it's enough. The thing is, most people aren't really giving it their BEST shot, and that's something people have to evaluate individually.

Loving and believing in yourself is half the job, because other people can see that about a person, and if nothing else that's always attractive. You don't have to be conceited, just comfortable with who you are. Or if you're not, be able to put in the work to change yourself.

There will always be guys that won't want to date me, I'm not worried about them, I'd rather spend my time finding the guys that do want to date me.

Anonymous · Answer

I hope this isn't too rom com material or too sappy, but whatever

I'm what you would call a late bloomer. I didn't date in high school or in college for that matter. Because I'm shy, I have problems opening up to someone, as if when I first meet someone, I get really shy and quiet and have problems being myself and most people won't give me a second chance. I've had a lot of first dates and even second ones, but never a relationship. And I always thought that I was destined to be alone with 10 cats. And obviously this could happen given the fact that I can't keep a conversation going, I'm not interesting, I'm boring and quiet. After a while I just gave up on ever finding anyone.

But I'm 22 now and finally found the guy for me. I was quiet and shy and awkward, but he gave me chance after chance after chance until I was got to that comfort level with him when I could be my fun self. And I love him for not giving up on me like every other guy did.

So my point is if I can find someone, with my other social skills, everyone can.

The key is to find the right guy and he's out there definitely

PeterCobra · Answer

I think people panic about this way too much.  If someone is making common sense choices in most areas of their life, they are not going to be alone forever.  It's just that most people don't use their brain.  I got friends who say that and this is their typical profile.  a) they are very fat and unkept in general.  I invite them to the gym with me or something less threatening like a jog down a quiet road.  They are always too lazy and don't have enough respect for themselves to do anything about it.  b) they say they never meet girls but they spend 6-8 hours a day playing W.O.W. or other video games alone in their room.  c)  they have negative/pessimistic  personaities that have them defeated before they ever get off the couch.  d)  they don't have a car but they always have new video games or weed (priorities)...you get the point.  These people will die alone.  The rest of the normal world, chill out, think critically about your situation and why you are not meeting people or the right kind of people, and keep improving the odds by improving who you are and what you do.

defiantdragonfly · Answer

I guess I'm a little late to the game, but after reading sob story after sob story, I guess I can understand why some people think they're going to be alone forever. I'm 27, divorced, and a single mom. I'm a complete tech nerd, work with engineers all day, read for fun, and have 4 level 80's that are all max geared. I'm way into cars, love boats, like camping, and would rather sit alone in a coffee shop and watch people than actually be bothered to interact with them.

All that being said. I'm in no rush to get married again or even be in a relationship. My ex is a great guy, he decided he wanted to be unemployed and live in someone elses house and explore his desires, rather than being married. That's on him. I don't have a bad taste in my mouth regarding men. In fact I have had 6 marriage proposals in the last year. 6! I know I'm a good person and a little goofy. I like me, and that's what makes all the difference. You'll never be alone if you like who you are, because then you'll always have good company.

All of you downers who are upset about the world, you need to BE the person you want to find. Of course you're going to be alone if you are negative and bitter, who wants to hang out with the scary guy who might come to work and shoot everyone?

Find the energy source within yourself. Go DO things, join clubs, experiment with life. Don't give up at 17 or 70. Happiness comes from within yourself, so does satisfaction. Find it within you and you'll find it in a partner too.

Twilight_Starstorm · Answer

I used to think that, or that I would at the very least be a 40-year-old-virgin :/

It was because I was 17, had never kissed a guy, was a redhead (and we all know how redheads get treated and teased in school), had never even had a boyfriend, and had never had a guy ask me out or show interest in me who didn't seem to be joking. I used to think I was totally undesirable to all males. I had a very, VERY low self-image, was a loner, and was way too shy to make friends. Not to mention that I was in a small town (not many guys to choose from, and the few there were, were total f-heads).

But then I moved far away, went to tafe, made a whole new group of friends (including a really sweet, cute guy who decided to befriend me on the first day because I "looked lonely"). After about 8 months of being class mates, I got with said cute/sweet guy, and we have now been together in a serious relationship for 4 months. He improved my self-image infinitely, improved my self-confidence, and showed me what love is...

I now know that I will not spend my life alone (it also turns out that most of my guy friends and many of THEIR friends have been interested in me at some point, as well as a random guys I've met O_O so clearly I'm nowhere NEAR as undesirable as I thought O_O).

I hope that I can spend the rest of my life with my currant boyfriend. I'm so lucky to have him... We are so in love that it might just happen :)

I hope that made sense; why I thought I'd be alone forever... I'm just so glad I have my boyfriend now... I don't think I will ever love anyone as much as I love him, or find anyone as perfect to me as he is...

So yea, I hope you found my answer informative :)

girloncue · Answer

I believe right now I am meant to be single. It's very obvious, specially since every relationship I have ever started has been in the beginning of february. I need to be single right now. For at least a little while.

Sometimes I disliked being single, and when I was younger I felt it was very unlikely I would find someone.

But lately when I've been single, I've felt that it is a good thing for me. I enjoy going out to bars :)

I think being under 21, most people think it will never happen, but once you're in relationships, you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to understanding what you yourself are about. And that's what is so important. knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you won't get it. In that case, it is impossible to get a life partner. You might get serious relationships, but definitely, you will not end up with anyone significant in your life.

If you want someone so bad, you are needy, and that projects an unpositive outlook in relationship seekers. I know I would never date a guy that asks me to make out every day.

I think these people need to realize that being single is quite a breath of fresh air. You don't have to check in with anybody, you don't have to refuse numbers, you don't have to pay attention to if you're accideently flirting with men/women.

Chucky · Answer

What a deep question, and I can honestly say that is the scariest thing to think about. I'm so dreadfully terrified of being alone, not just forever but now. I am so afraid that no one will love me, that I will be alone, have no one to hold my hand or cuddle watching movies that I settle. I have a boyfriend now but things aren't working out, I'm 99% sure he cheated and he has a drug problem to boot. His family hates me and treats me like sh*t and he doesn't treat me very well either (wow I sound like a looser). I do love him, its been over a year together but I am sure he doesn't love me, or enough to fix the things that are wrong. I know I will never be completely happy in this relationship, I question everything, I don't even think I believe in love anymore, but I can't seem to kick him to the curb cause I just don't want to be alone. When I was single, all my friends had boyfriends or girlfriends, husbands and wives, I would avoid going out, cause I felt like a third wheel. I just hit the gym (late so no one would see me going to work out alone) then go home and watch movies. I can't watch sappy love stories cause it reminds me what I feel I can't have, and I cry all the time.

This all sounds like I'm a crazy bat, but my biggest fear in life, is that I will end up like my mother, alone, no friends, no family and bitter. I don't want that, but I'm so scared I can't seem to bring myself to find someone who is good and would make it so I don't feel alone. Wow, what a deep question, I'm even tearing up as I write this.

finallyaftertwoyears · Answer

Yes, I do think that I'm going to be alone. I don't know about forever alone, but I know that I will be for a very long time. I have absolutely no problem with getting guys to like me or date me. All the guys I've dated/kissed/hung out with, however, never asked me to be their girlfriend. It's almost as if they get sick of me after a few months. I've ended about half of the flirtationships I've had as well, though. It's the same thing over and over again. When a guy ends it with me, he's usually surprised to see that I'm not hurt, not even in the slightest. I then explain that I'm used to it, that it's just another part of my routine to be used and then dumped later. They feel really upset about it sometimes, but it's the truth. Perhaps I'm the kind of girl who isn't "girlfriend" material for a guy, and I appear to be just another piece of ass for him. Maybe there's something absolutely appalling about me that I haven't figured out yet, and for some reason, none of the guys I've dated said that was the reason why they ended it with me. I know it can't be my looks because of what I said before. I've tried everything as well. I've tried being a little bit more clingy, a little less, a little more forward, a little less. I'm always myself with a guy though. I'd say I'm intelligent, I've been called funny, I've been told that I have a personality that enables people to be calm around me, and I'm pretty sure I'm not rude. I also shower every day, just saying. Anyway, maybe it's just that I wind up with guys that are just... blah... to date. All I know is, is that my friends constantly rip on me for never having a boyfriend; meanwhile, I go out on dates with a decent amount of guys. It hurts after a while, knowing that there's something wrong with me beyond my control. They tell me I must have a curse. I'm almost starting to believe it! I wonder if a guy will ever prove me wrong, but I highly doubt anyone will anytime soon.

Razer · Answer

No I don't and hope not. I don't have a lot of experience in the dating world. My last relationships were In grade 9 to 11 with the same girl. I broke it off cause I knew what was ahead for me and I didn't think she would fit in the picture. It was selfish but she got over it and we are cool now. I was free and single for 7 years after that when I started seeing my buddies sister in law. That only lasted for 3 months due to distance and borders. She wasn't my type anyways. And most rescently a 7 month relationship with a girl that I was very fond of. We hit it off good. I thought we were very compatable. But my inexperience got the best of us and I wasn't giving her what she needed such as space and spontanuity. Sure I surprised her with flowers in good fasion but more spontanious in the bedroom sort of thing. When we broke up she told me in a nice way to man up. It still hurt cause she didn't allow me the chance to man up with her. So right now I am somewhat down as we broke up a couple months ago and she doesn't seem to want to make any contact with me. She rescently said she doesn't mind being friends but she isn't comfortable yet. So I'm 27 and haven't had much luck but am learning from the few experiences I've had and am slowly realizing that love doesn't always come knocking on your door. If you want to find it you have to do just that, find it. I avoided the dating game cause I felt I would be wasting my time and the womens time as I didn't want to be tied down. But now I wish I would have dated more for the experience. You'de be surprised at what happens when you take charge and go for what you really want.

Vasillilaw · Answer

Thank god you are OK with being single.  I really can't stand people that believe there is no way of living besides being in a relationship.  It gives you no time to develop your own opinion about the world, so as far as I'm concerned it's more important to be able to live alone than be with somebody.  In reality those who are single don't know how lucky they have it.  So many restrictions given in a relationship aren't there to hold a person back.  Other than that the saying "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" has become complete bs in my mind after a conversation I had with my friend.  She told me how in love she was with a person and when it was lost it felt like a half of her was completely missing...and if you heard the way she felt about this person you would understand that the saying above is bs.  For example, pretend you are totally head over heels for this guy and never felt anything better in the world...and then he dies.  You would be more than devastated.  The pety fear of dying alone could alternatively be something much worse.  I say if you die alone, so be it.  Just find a hobby or career you can be in love with.  If you find someone to love that's wonderful, but don't be disappointed if life doesn't work out the way you expected it to.  And if anybody is wondering I am with someone at the moment.  It took me a long time to find him, but he is an amazing guy for me. But when I was single I wasn't constantly searching for somebody willing to be with me.  I wasn't searching for the idea of a relationship.  I just happened to find someone that clicked.  I hope this helps! (:

windy-rose · Answer

I steadfastly refuse to believe I'll be alone forever. Despite the fact I'm 23 and have yet to be asked on a legit date. Much less have a boyfriend.

However, I know right now in my life, I'm building myself. I'm building a career. I'm building my experiences. I'm building my friendships. I'm building who I am.

Sure, these things won't stop when a boy waltzes into my life, but I'll have a strong foundation of self worth and value. I'll know I can be OK with myself and who I am, with or without someone else intertwined as my boyfriend. I think a lot of people out there forget the value of that, and grow dependent on those relationships. But If I can hold my own, I know I'll have that much more to share and give.

In the meantime, I keep my eyes open. I learn from the relationships of those around me. Those my friends have with others. Those I have with the cute boys in class/work/etc. Get an idea of what personalities work with me, what I can stand or grow to understand and where my lines are.

So when he does pop into my life, damn. That boy better be ready.

ginny · Answer

There is a pretty good chance I will be single forever & I don't cry about it. Please bare with me -it is difficult to cut short.

Why? Well, I married a Marine, the love of my life, & we were not able to be together all the time. At first it felt like I was making a sacrifice to be his wife. It bugged me to be w/o him around couples and/or on some holidays, etc. But over time I came to know myself & realized that I didn't need him to “make me happy.” Believe me when I say that this was an eclectic journey with many twists and turns; and is not to imply that I was unhappy in my marriage. In fact, the more I accepted myself, the more love I felt for him.

Now I am especially grateful to have created a life on my own because he died in Iraq. Although I knew about this risk when I married him, it didn't soften the blow of losing him. Still, if I could go back in time I would do it all over again. This is not only because of my undying respect for his particular purpose. It's because I've learned how important it was to me for both of us to realize & live our own purpose; & support each other for being who we are.

For the first few years I was not able to even imagine being with another man. Fortunately I have intimate friendships with women who have supported me & I've healed over time. I go on dates, but have yet to meet someone I'm interested in getting serious/intimate with, & it's not a priority. I believe this is partly because I'm happy on my own, and also because (I don't know a modest way to say) the bar is high. I am not perfect & will always be learning. But I do know who I am & who I'm not. I won't settle for a man who I am not looking up to or across at. Let's be realistic here... most of these men my age seem to already be married. Who knows? I sure don't.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, most women are jumpers behind their mans back. Whether it be sexual or flirting... Nothing but misery comes from their craving for other males to lift them up. Yes, even if you are spun on them one day the hart break is their. And everything that made you not be lonely is all over something you lack. No man is perfect even though women believe men are because men women are spun and beleive anything for attention... The loneliness usually never is felt as bad as when you realize what they doing with anther man... It's better to treat them as sex objects and expect the worst then go threw love and loss and loneliness... Women are by nature bring loneliness to men... yes I will be lonly forever...  Women are all cheaters in someway when they see something they don't like... Just look at the men who have back from war and had their wifes throw the ring in their face becaus his face was burnt. Then turned and died heart broken.. Yes love is conditional and females make me want to be muslim...

Anonymous · Answer

Hmm, I've honestly never thought about being alone even though I am single.

The reason being about five years ago, I asked myself what type of man do females fantasize about? Since then I've been working on who I am. Growing and growing as a person and eventually grew to a point where I can just simply laugh and enjoy life without worrying about finding someone. Now I'm not saying I'm merely sitting around twiddling my thumbs, but I'm just living my life, enjoying going out and doing things that interest me. As for the living alone forever, its not really something I even think about. Females show interest in me and I have a good time with them, but I'm not really at the settling point in my life quite yet.

So my advice to the guys out there is to be full of being, aware, clear and purposeful, yet connective and compassionate. It might sound like a weird and tough advice, but it'll happen if you grow yourself.

Also another piece of advice for the guys. There must be a you in your words and actions. If you let a women dictate your words and actions then there is no you. There has to be something unique about you that will separate from the multitude of other guys out there. Plus a female can tell whether consciously/unconsciously if your action is seeking something from them.

Anonymous · Answer

yea I think I might... more a psychological thing tho, I don't do so good in relationships. I kinda blame it on not really having the 'father figure' growing up... very long story but basically all the problems I have in relationships are exactly the problems mum has and all the problems she has are the problems grandma had. basically her dad worked on the mines and stuff when she was growing up and would spend most of his time away and she never really had a father figure at home. then in her later relationships, she couldn't really function in a full-time relationship and needed too much independence. as a result of that, she and my dad split when I was quite young and she has a partner now but they've been together 7 years and tried moving in together but again, she needed more independence. they don't live together, they barely see each other and are more like a part time couple... I've found now in relationships I've had that I quickly become less attracted the more 'couply' it gets... I'm studying psychology atm and apparently your relationships mirror that of your parents. Freud's theory of development suggests you base what you look for in a partner on the characteristics of your parent of the opposite gender and so apparently, me, my mum, my children and grandchildren are going to end up alone... fun... :p

Anonymous · Answer

sometimes yes and sometimes no. I am still only in high school and there have been guys here and there that I've hooked up with casually, but no one that I've actually genuinley  liked or liked me back. its all just physical, hormonal teenage attraction. but then I look at all my friends with their boyfriends, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one without a special someone. I've never even had a boyfriend or been on a real date (meeting up at night just to hookup doesn't count as a date). in times like these I feel like guys only talk to me and show interest because they want to get with me, but I can only blame myself since I haven't really given a "relationship-type" impression. but other times I think that I will find someone one day who is looking for more, especially when I start looking for more than just a good time when I look at guys. when I can start to take myself seriously, then other people will too.  its all about your mindset, your attitude, and basically just yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

I got ruined when I was in my early 20's. I am probably on a scale from 1 to 10 -i am a 6. The girl I dated back then was 8 1/2 to 9. This girl was a knockout. Whenever we used to go out, she would constantly get hit on. Guys would go right up to her even when I was standing next to her and flirt with her. I had no business being with such a hot girlfriend. When I met her all the stars had aligned. She was a young single mother who was 6 months out of an abusive relationship. The relationship lasted one and half years. We were engaged to get married. Things stopped being fun and we ended up splitting.

I spiraled into a life of hard drug abuse for 12 years until I overdosed. I now have been sober for 2+ years. I have not had sex with a woman in nearly 14 years. Either my standards are way to high or I freeze up and play myself right into the friendzone with a girl. It just happened to me again last week. Plus since I have sobered up I have gained 50 ibs which will not come off AND I am living with my father while I am getting my degree in college. I was a regular don juan with the girls when I was younger. I always had a girlfriend a or FWB. Now I can't get a girlfriend to save my life. I will keep plugging away but I am about ready to throw in the towel for good.

DamnItJim · Answer

Relationships require compromises. It is not in me to do that and even if I do, at the end of the day, I am still resented for being right in the first place when whatever I compromised on goes bad. It is also very frustrating having to watch someone (especially if you care about them) do something you know is going to end badly (think of the sensation of not wanting to watch the cringe scene in a film but add caring about the character too).

If matching people's personalities where fitting jigsaw pieces together analogy:
most peoples jigsaw pieces would be made of wood or card so could have small edges trimmed in order to fit with a partner. some people have jigsaw pieces made of cast iron or diamond and the only way to match them is to find an exact match or a piece willing to trim itself a lot (I doubt I could respect someone willing to abandon so much of what makes them who they are just to please someone else). finding two pieces that match perfectly is not easy in such a large jigsaw puzzle and jigsaws are not all that fun so...

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, probably. My father told me when I was very young that some people don't have it. He only married my mother because she became pregnant with me, and he said he regarded it as a mistake. That I was allowed to be born and that he married my mom. He said some people don't have what it takes. Some people just aren't good enough to be loved, even by their own father. Or by their own mother. My dad taught me how to act more normal.

He was right, some people are not lovable just as some people are lovable. All of the girls I've dated approached me first, and I'm getting old enough that I don't think it will happen anymore regardless of how much money I make or how good looking or smart I am. Some people are meant to be alone, to live alone and to die alone.

I don't feel that this is something that is unfortunate or sad, in fact I don't feel anything about it at all. I don't care about having sex with women and generally only maintain friendships that will benefit my livelihood. When I read about George Sodini or Timothy McVeigh or the Columbine kids, I understand where they were coming from. And it makes me sad for them, because it wasn't their fault.

The world is wrong. People are narrow-minded and foolishly superficial, and judge others based off of petty things like appearances and silly things such as how well they adhere to social norms. Why would any sane person want to fit in to this broken world and walk among the rabble? And how could anyone really be stupid enough to look at how f***ed up things are and believe earnestly that there is a God that loves this world.

That's the height of human stupidity.

daendisnigh · Answer

I have already taken into consideration this will happen to me and I am doing everything to keep under control.

I honestly think just because you are in a relationship, it does not necessarily mean you will be happy, or happy forever. It does not guarantee any kind of happiness.

Nothing is certain or guaranteed. It kind of like this: Things tend to change anyway. What you are interested today or is important to you, you may feel different about it tomorrow or eventually. And things or people that you were previously not interested, or hated, etc.,... You may yet feel different about later on.

Happiness comes from within ourselves. We should not depend on someone or even something else to make us feel happy.

I believe we should all learn to depend entirely on ourselves as much as possible.

We must strive to become self reliable, self sufficient, and never give up hope to live and survive, even if that means the hard way and that we have to do it all on our own.

And also to enjoy whatever time we have left here or whatever that is left worthy of our own interests.

Why? Because the past can never be altered, the future has not happened yet and very difficult to predict, and the present will never happen again and will eventually become the past. Just live for the moment. Focus on what really matters to us, what is really real.

Other that that ultimately we will all die alone somehow any way. Even if you were married, either you or your spouse will die first, and unless for some reason you happen to both die at the same time from an accident or whatever, one of you will be left all alone regardless, and moreso if you do not have any kind of social support group, friends or children.

unlovedguy · Answer

Ok. Here's my attributes: I am 21 years old. I am going to be 22 years old soon. So why I don't want to be in any relationships is that I can't trust to any girl whether she'll cheat on me or not. I would make any kind of tests to her such as prenup and DNA tests. Cause I want to be sure that everything is fine with her. I also don't find myself attractive. I do have some things to do in my life and I am not stable mentally so it's just a turn-off to any people. I am anti social. I don't really like interacting with people. I also don't want to try to keep her interest on me. I don't want my independence taken by women. Once you're in a relationship, all your independence you had before will be gone drastically. I also don't see any point on having a relationship. Like c'mon. It's not a big deal. And it's not the most important thing in this life. I also don't think that no girl will find me good. I take care of my looking, I take care of my self-grooming on a daily basis. I have bath every day. But none of those will make me any better. So since I am that shitty and desperate, I better off stay single. By this way, people won't have to know a fucked-up guy like me.

TechGuyRy · Answer

My name is Ryan. I am pretty sure I am going to be alone forever. I am 26 years old and I have never been in any kind of serious relationship. I don't know anyone (I really only know two people apart from my family). There is a good chance I am going to be alone because in life people don't like me even before they meet me. I am a nice guy. I believe in fairness and kindness to everyone and I treat a woman with respect and gentleness, but I am not very good looking. I have a good job, live on my own and support myself, but it is basically impossible for me to meet a girl. I was standing at a red light trying to cross the street yesterday standing next to a girl when she took two steps away from me. When girls see me they will run away as fast as they can. I have to face the music: I am designed to be alone, for reasons I don't fully understand, but they are there anyway. Anyway, I would love to meet a nice girl, but I guess it just isn't going to happen. It hurts every day, but what is a guy supposed to do?

CplClegg · Answer

Yes I will be alone forever. Simple answer: God has cursed me. Long answer: I started puberty when I was 12. I turn 32 in a month and a half. 20 years and no girlfriend. I have tried every stupid tip under the sun. The only explanation is God had cursed me. What do I look like you ask? Well let me tell you: I'm 6,5 210 lbs and moderately muscular. I have a small pot belly but other than that I am athletic and cute. I don't get nervous around women or people in general because I grew up in a tough neighborhood and ran with some hard people. Every girl I have ever known says I'm cute and will find a girl but I have been hearing that for 20 freaking years.

I'm tired of girls lying to me as if its okay. I'm tired of them telling me I will find someone as if they can look into the future. I'm tired of girls telling me I'm cute. I'm really, honestly, starting to think that I'm not. That it is all a lie to make me feel better. I'm tired of nothing working. Being nice to girls is natural for me but being mean to girls is easy when your angry about being single. Nothing works. Nothing.

Misssixty83 · Answer

I LOVE your question. I think when people date and all you get it knock backs or people using you and you realize just how hard it actually is out there then you do start to wonder if your someone is out there and if so, if they will ever find you.

I was talking to a woman at work and she said "If you got refused for jobs you applied for, would you consider yourself unemployable" and I said, "no, as I know eventually you would find a job" and she said it's the same thing.

So logic says I will find someone eventually but experience tells you not, but I do know that feeling. I also won't cry about it though. Life is too short, it's for living and loving. If I'm meant to be with someone then I hope they won't pass me by.

Again, great question :o)

~X~X~X~

mommahen · Answer

I think it's highly unlikely that I'll ever be in a relationship again. I have three small children, ton's of drama with their dad and I'm very traditional at heart. I'm rather upset that he left and I'm getting a divorce as I would have never never sought divorce to resolve myself. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust my own judgement again and I know I have too much baggage for a good man. I have no interest at all in sleeping around. My attempts at dating so far have led me to clingy men with terrible issues to men who want to date b/c they see that I'm single with children and assume I'm an easy slut. Honestly, I'd rather be alone with the few freedom's and controls I have as a single mom than settle for a man who's got low enough self esteem to want a woman who's a mess with so much baggage. My husband left b/c of his own issues, I deserve better... not trying to sound like I think I'm better than anyone else, just stating fact's. I am a good mom, was a good wife, and I worked hard for my place in life. Three kids is kinda a cutoff number though. So yes, pretty sure I'll live the rest of my life alone. It's too much work, physically and emotionally, to care about a relationship when you're this tired from being full time mom and employee.

objectivetruth · Answer

I've discovered that some GaG users find comfort in wallowing in their misery while posting their lonely rantings in this website...instead of walking away from the computer, leaving the house and seeking potential partners. This is testified by the fact that some people have excessive xper points that directly translates to their lack of outgoing habits and/or real friends. My suggestion: get of facebook or the internet entirely, for once, and start mingling with people in the mall, the school library, wherever.

drummerdude27 · Answer

i am not going to die alone, chances are I will meet someone I can love and who loves me in college because that's where the odds are in my favor. right now I am in between girls but I think I have enough friends that they will be by me even when I don't have a girl on my arm all the time. relationships go, I get rejected but in the end it really doesn't matter because guess what.? I will be OK, move on, find a new, hotter girl with a better personality until I find the girl that is my world and who I can say I love and mean it. I will find the girl who I won't have a doubt in my mind that she is for me. I may sound a little facetious but that is really my mind set. sometimes I strey from that but I think when I'm in this mood I feel better and things work for me. I like to be able to get my swag back and go out and show the girls what they want haha.

ohh and since you are single... nahhh never mind hahaha

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like a lot of those people are also really young. And I don't know if it's movies showing perfect couples marrying and loving each other forever at 20 or 25 but it's insanity. Oh no, you haven't found your one true love and you're already a freshman in college, clearly you'll be alone forever. People just need to relax and realize that most of the population don't find their husband/wife until they're at the end, or out of college. And I get it's hard watching other people be so happy or seeing movies and not knowing that feeling but giving up like that and that attitude isn't going to help. People just need to stay positive. That's what I think, at least.

tex151 · Answer

Nope never have and never will, even when I was single I wasn't sitting at home complaining how life sucks without a girlfriend. I was out there getting numbers, getting dates and getting laid, yea it can happen guys if you actually try.

You see I grew up in a time when there were no cell phones, no internet, and if you wanted to talk to a girl on the phone, you had to call her land line, and guess what 9 times out of 10 her dad answered wanting to know why some kid is calling for his daughter. Can you imagine that at 13 calling a girl and having to give her dad a damn good explanation why your calling her at midnight.

Man some of you guys would sh*t your pants if you had to do that in today's time in your 20s, like I said I was 13 when I had to call a girl up on the phone just to talk to her. Now all you have to do is either send a text or call her cell phone, and still some guys can't even do that.

Surfinforlife · Answer

No. Everyone has a choice to be alone or not. People who think they'll be alone forever have lost their hope. I learned that if you want something you have to go after it. Be direct and confident. Guys and girls think they'll be alone because they lost their self confidence, maybe their self-asteam, hope, etc.

I believe that life is what you make it. Those who are lonely choose to be that way.

S

BluMac81 · Answer

I do have a theory regarding why it is 'mostly guys but some girls' who think they'll be alone forever.  You see, despite women being equal in today's society, it still remains that men usually have to make the first move while the women just wait for some guy to ask them out.  It's very rare for women to ask out a man.  Because of this, men lose hope due to possible impairements in approaching women.  Usually, if a guy is shy, he loses hope, but if a girl is shy, she can still retain hope that something will eventually happen TO her (as in a guy will ask her out).  Guys love hope because without good skill in approaching women, there isn't much to hope for since the majority of women won't approach and ask out the guy, especially if he's shy.

Kalantir · Answer

I don't think giving up is a bad thing necessarily.  Before, when I did chase after girls, I failed repeatedly.   I put forth so much effort.  I've always been nice and respectful to everyone deserving.  I got nothing out of it.  So, now I've given up and I don't regret it.  I'm not saying I would turn away from an opportunity at love, but I'm not actively seeking it anymore.  As a result, I have far more time and far less heartache.  I don't sit around depressed about the fact I'm ugly anymore because I don't have constant rejection reminding me of it.    Like most ugly people, I've just come to terms with the fact that I will always be "just a friend".

luciferius · Answer

but isn't that the problem? what person is worth fighting for? I haven't seriously met a person who I think can meet my expectations and make me happy. because in truth, I don't think anyone can make me happy but myself and if I can make myself happy, which I can, why waste time on someone else who's likely to leave and not only that, cause a dent in my life? I'm a great believe in preserving time and independent happiness and so while being in love is great and all, the ability to detach yourself from life and human materials and emotions is much more logical and meaningful and this is why I think ill be alone forever but I don't cry a river about about it as you seem to suggest that all those who bemoan being single forever do, which is strange for me that you see them this way but then again, people never think much about their actions or words so it's not too improbable for people to bemoan something they chose for themselves.

stark101 · Answer

i do not know if I will end up alone or not , sometimes it does feel that way I think it is because in high school girls would manipulate me into believing that I was liked by other girls and it turned out to be false and they would have their fun for it and there are issues with my mom and dad and their f***ed up relationship but I have hope that I will find some one some day with my own determination, but for now I have to keep moving forward and get over my fear of getting close to people

although it would be nice not to have those dark days when you feel like sh*t for not having someone at your side

mrlonelyone · Answer

The problem is that people are confusing being alone...with being lonely.

Some of the loneliest people I knew were unhappily married people.

I personally have felt the most profound loneliness when I was surrounded by friends and family.

I have on the other hand felt the least lonely when I was by myself...but had someone, somewhere in my life who was with me...even if that person was 100 miles away.

Personally what has made me feel most lonely...is the fact that few people fully understand most of what I say in real time. I guess much of what I say requires a bit of thought to fully soak it in.

B2kishot87 · Answer

I always joke that I'm gonna be a lonely cat lady. Sometimes I believe that it will happen. I don't wanna be alone forever it just hurts being in a relationship then something happens and it goes wrong. Being used, cheated on, lied to always slows me down. I become sad/depressed whatever. Give myself some time to heal and try to move on. I would love someone to ask me to marry them ( not quite yet I'm only 23). All I want is to be in love and to be loved. Yet it seems that attaining that is so hard to do. I've failed plenty of times. But I get in another relationship to be hurt again. But I will say looking at the guys comments does give me hope. I know that love and true love is rare. The only true love I've witnessed is my grandparents. So as I sit and listen to the endless love songs that play on the radio I hope that one day I can have the same until death do us part.

krazEkid · Answer

you know, with the way society is these days, times change. back in the olden days girls and guys didn't really cheat or play games. they didn't have all the luxuries we have now a days. I mean its a greater possiblity to die alone these days then before. there is always someone out there for you though. it just takes a lot of experimenting, hurt, and tears to find the right person. it may take along time because its rare to find a trustful guy/girl right off the bat. I don't feel I will die alone, but I feel its going to be quite awhile before I find someone :(

falx29 · Answer

I would never assume that I would live alone for the rest of my life. It's great to have a steady relationship, or even marriage, yes. But I would never torture myself for being alone. If I've learned anything in my teenage years it's that a companion isn't everything. In my opinion, the most important thing's in my life are: My health, My Positivity, and My Family. People come in and out of my life everyday, so why should I worry about one staying put? If it happens for me, it happens. I'll be happy of course, but being by myself and getting to know me wouldn't kill either.

Beautee · Answer

People are brought alone to this world and they die alone too. It is the truth whether you like it or not.

All the encounters that we have during our life fulfill our moments, but your existence and life events does not depend on other people. You can be surrounded by many friends and be alone. You can be in a relationship and feel alone. It all comes from your attitude and level of comfort with yourself. If your heart is fulfilled with good cause, happiness, compassion, you will never feel alone and the right people will always be in your life.

beastman88 · Answer

people that think about the future too much are naturally under more stress and anxiety then people who are focusing on what's happening in their lives right at that moment. don't worry about the future just focus on what's going on in your life right now. good things will happen. focus on the people who are in your life right now and how awesome they are for being in it, because were only here for so long. people really need to get to know themselves as a person an individual that thinks for themselves before getting into a healthy relationship not a co dependant one. no I don't think iam going to be alone, I've got god by my side all the time I never feel alone

Hidden_P · Answer

Ummm sort of...

I'm still in love, I still want to be with my ex, and at the moment being with other people has a very bad effect on me.. (I run out the room crying, I get very defensive, I stop eating and sleeping and I start being sick as well)

So currently, yes I think I will be. I feel like I'm meant to be with my ex, but he is in a different place to me. I can't be with anyone else, and it's not lack of trying, but for my health it's best for me to be alone. Maybe it's just not my time.

I do hope in the future for something to happen though. But right now, I just don't want to be around other people really :)

mimiperson · Answer

Couldn't agree with you more! And you kind of answered your own question lol

But if you wanted to know:

I think there is some (quite high unfortunately) chance that I might not get married. One is because I have a set of goals- of things to do before I die. And they are very all over the place and I don't know if someone is going to be up for that kind of lifestyle before settling down.

And the second reason is because I refuse to "play the game". I am not going to play around with him to get his attention, play hard to get, or not answer a text to make him curious. I am going to be me- 100% and if he can't handle that fine. The problem is most people who have that attitude, don't tend to get married. So no, I am not complaining about it, and it would be nice to have someone, but that just isn't likely and currently isn't even an option. (I'm still living at home and my life is a little complicated at the moment.)

Not to mention the gay guys are taking all our candidates

;)

whist · Answer

I did, but it didn't bother me much honestly. I have loving friends and family. And career ambitions to focus on. Actually, I liked being single because it made it easier for me to focus on my schoolwork. Then lo and behold, I get a boyfriend when I least expect it. I think as long as you're comfortable with yourself and give yourself opportunities to meet new people, something will happen eventually.

Then again, I'm still in my first relationship. Maybe being single after experiencing what dating is like sucks. :(

Cailleach · Answer

Unquestionably, I will perpetually be alone. That is, if I do not do a full alteration of my personality. And why the hell would I do that? For the sake of love? F***no. I mean, who the hell would love me besides myself and my friends?

Sure, I've been told that I can be a pleasant, adorable and sweet person when I want to be and not a cold, cynical, sarcastic and acerbic tongued bitch but how lacklustre is that? I prefer myself the way I am and if other people don't like that...how the hell is that my problem?

I’ll be alone because that’s my choice. And even if it’s not, I’m not going to cry and whine about it. I’ll just get laid.

rafael0120 · Answer

i hope I don't stand alone, but there's not that many decent girls to go after; I've met afew, but there taken, and there are some girls that I have connections with, but there are some things that some can't accept; the way I see it; life is getting worst; and we are living among lies; if I stay alone well; OK, I'll die in a nursing home or some thing, but I will do good in life and injoy it; I'll give to the poor, and be the weak that would lead the strong, I'll make friends everywhere and travel where life takes me, and if I live by faith to the point no man can; maybe be take from this life with out receiving death like Enoch from the bible

Mcstarr · Answer

well I'm a high school junior and I've only had one boyfriend and I only let it last for about 2 weeks and it was because I got tired of him always breathing on me when I was with my girls. I do think of it when I see all my friends with theirs boyfriends or girldriends and I'm the 1 that doesn't have that special someone. I sometimes think I'm gonna be single for ever because I'm crazzy not in a sycho way but I like to do fun/daring stuff I'm random and loud and I love to talk. And maybe it will change when I'm much older buteveryone is getting married right out of school so what are the chances of finding a guy that will like me for who I am and not for who they want me to be. AS well astreat me right and not bully me or cheat on me. But only time will tell and I know I'm still young so I have plenty of time but its not on my priory list I'm focusing on my schools and then carear and the rest is unknown.

Renae678 · Answer

yes I do.

Im okay with it aswell. I work alot, and have a very busy life. Every relationship iv had has been to much for me to follow up on. I don't do somthing right they get angry, I do do enough they hate me, I go above and beyond they take advantage. I'm better with casual dating.

im also more of an animal person lol, I don't want kids I want dogs. and possible a horse one day:)

the way I live my life, I can be a hermit at times. I go out and I enjoy my friends and social events, however when I'm done, I'm done. pluse I love liveing by my own schedual, I do what I want when I want no one telling me otherwise.

I do better alone.

khwaga · Answer

Yeah I feel that way, though I will eventually get married from an arranged marriage. I think this because I'm really shy, and even now when I think about it, I only talk to a few guys, one of them being gay and the others being unattractive in my opinion. I'm just really shy, and I hardly ever talk to guys unless they talk to me first, that's just the way I am. BUT I am not sad about this. Yeah I get all these desires to want to be held in a man's arms and of course sexual desires kicked in a few years back and blah blah blah but I don't cry a river thinking about the fact that I may never fall in love. I mean, I have so many friends that I love and I love my whole entire family and even though I've never dated before, I've never particularly wanted to, and I've always been content with my life. So yes to that I'll never fall in love, but no to that I'll always be in a state of misery about it.

anonymous90 · Answer

My motto is, "I am one of the nicest people you will ever meet in life." That's exactly what I do and for a shy/quiet guy, I am pretty damn social and anytime I make a new friend, they are surprised how polar opposite my real friends are to me.

So yes, I don't have a problem socializing, but it seems like all the girls I do like, don't like me and all the girls that have made it obvious that they like me (except for one), I didn't like more than just friends.

I know I won't be alone forever, but at the same time I don't enjoy the wait at all. 20 years and waiting.

drkch20 · Answer

Man this is one massively long list I was going to read it, but I changed my mind. Too answer the question no I don't think I'll be alone forever. And I know I'll have to work really hard to achieve that goal. And to be honest I don't really see how I'm going to pull it off. But what I do know, is that giving up isn't really my style. And there isn't in anything better in life. So I'm going to keep fumbling in the darkness, with my hands outstretched until I find that special someone. And when I do I'm going to hold on like my life depends on it(because it does). Oh and if you want to know how hopeless I am(I know, I'm still young). But I am a 20 year old virgin, who's only had one girlfriend for around 30 day's. And I have only felt the lips of a woman 5 times(Her my gf).

BluMac81 · Answer

Let me quote a Buddhist monk I know; 'there is single suffering and there is relationship suffering, they are different types but the amount of suffering is the same".  Basically what that means is while you may sort of idolize and fantasize about being in this wonderful relationship, you're not picturing the crap that happens in relationships as well, even good relationships.  I've been single for a long long time, mostly cause I'm really shy, but also cause I really don't care that much.  All you're doing is trading one type of suffering for another.

200rabbits · Answer

I don't know if I'll be alone forever, but it's a big fear or mine.

The frightening part is the fear that what they say about real love, about it being all special and everything in movies and books and pretty much everywhere might be true.

Does the fact that I've already thrown away someone I actually really loved mean that I've lost my chance, that chances are I won't have that with anyone again? There's certainly the argument that I don't deserve it, but so many of the people I know can so confidently say, "no I've never been in love". Surely, of all the people I know there'd be more than 2 other people who can say, "yes, I've really been in love" and surely there'd be someone who could say they've felt that way on more than one occasion? That's what scares me, that I've blown the only chance I'll get already, which is bad enough when you're already sick with guilt because she deserved better.

Universe · Answer

Honestly at this point in time I'd say I'd be perfectly content "dying alone" as long as I have some other companions (friends, family, whatever). If I was stuck on a desert island with no other human companions then I'd definitely be depressed.

I don't really think about it much because I'm not even interested in a relationship anytime soon anyway.

Whatever happens, happens. Both ways of life--singlehood vs. relationship--have their good points and bad points so I may as well just focus on the good whichever way I end up going.

Hartmut · Answer

I do believe that I'll end up dying alone. And, ultimately, what does it matter? The world won't suddenly become a better place if, on the very slim off-chance, I ever get a girlfriend. Sure, it'd be nice for ME if it DID somehow end up happening, but I've come to terms with the high probability of my eventual death in solitude. Hey, at least, this way, fewer people get hurt when it happens.

Do I get sad about it sometimes? Of course I do; perhaps more than I should. But, life is transient, so anything I happen to end up accomplishing in this life is all more or less meaningless, anyway. Good thing I've never really had much in terms of ambition, then.

eSHkidd · Answer

While I don't really think I'll be alone forever, the mentality does get to me, especially never having that "true love" sorta thing and just year-long lovers, here, there, and between.

Mainly based on my past, and thinking ill never be able to understand what to do around girls. Like, I could be what you could call "myself" and never get anyone because I'm not displaying the traits girls deem attractive, or I could try to be flirtatious and confident and not ever get that girl who would truly love my original personality.

cristinaboss · Answer

I am of those people that really do believe I'll be alone forever and it really doesn't bother me. I don't know why, but I can't seem to ever get emotionally attached to any guy. If I start liking them and we end up dating, I literally wake up one morning and the feeling just vanishes. It also doesn't help that I really don't believe in love. Every relationship that I see amongst my friends and family is f***ed up beyond belief and if they're so-called "madly in love"... I think they're just obsessed with each other and it's pathetic.

Jonny_ · Answer

Yes, I'm not one to give up easily but the people I date seem to... But with my job I'm going to be away 8-10 months of every year until I'm forty. What girl/woman will wait that long to see me, i.e. date me for two months each year without falling for someone who is always in their life? If I were to wait until I am forty then who am I going to date? A lot of people will have settled down by then, and the people left may not be suitable as I'm rather picky. And I'd have no idea were to start meeting people my own age since my life had consisted of being entirely introverted. To be honest I could list problems all day, I mean I haven't even talked about the problems I bring into relationships...

Do you honestly think you'll be alone forever and why?

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Do you honestly think you'll be alone forever and why?

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