He still contacts me but hasn't asked for 3rd date?

[Anonymous]

I've went on 2 dates with this guy I met few weeks ago
We don't text everyday but only 2 or 3 days a week
And he's mainly the one initiating contact
When he does text, we talk throughout the day and then sometimes at night he would call me and we would talk on the phone for 10 or 20 minutes
We talk about our interests, etc
But he hasn't asked to see me again / third date.

What's up with that?
If he's not interested, why bother staying in contact?

[MrNameless]

I don't know.

But if he's initiating most of the texts and calls, maybe he's waiting for you to initiate for once? Please, don't rely on the guy initiating a conversation with you all the time to be a good indicator. Look at it from their shoes.. If they are the ones that have to always put the effort to making the contact and making plans, they'll eventually assume you aren't as interested, and then they'll lose interest and move on. Communication is a two way street. You do this with every guy, GL staying in a long term relationship. Again.. it takes effort from both partners

[Asker]

But he doesn't text me everyday.. You think he's not really interested? I've heard guys that are really interested would text her everyday

[Maximilian294]

What MrNameLess said is exactly true. If you had to start a conversation with a boy all the time and he never does, what would you think? Just start sending text when you want his attention, he'll know you actually are interested, if you don't do it fast he gone.

[laaolar]

asker Just stop with this: he doesn't text everyday. This is not the only way to know if a guy likes you. You should look at his actions and how does he talk to you. again, quality over quantity! You need to talk during a date, not always chating all day, otherwise it will be boring after a while. (unless you are LDR). If you don't make a move you'll loose that guy

[MrNameless]

Nope. There is no hard rule for frequency of texting when dating. At least not every day is required

[MrNameless]

and not everyone likes texting and finds it boring.. The fact that he's keeping in touch with you every 2-3 days and even calling you is a good sign

[djmzes]

Simple
Why he had to ask you?

[laaolar]

I used to think like you and sometimes i still have a hard time to pursue a little because I worry if I'm pushing things and etc. But you can't always be like that.
He genuinely seems interested, so next time you talk you can say something like: oh there's this new movie I've been wanting to watch. Do you want to come with me?
Or even be more direct: hey do you want to go out this weekend?
I'm sure he won't think you are being too much and will appreciate it.

[Asker]

Can i ask why u think he seems interested? He doesn't text me everyday

[laaolar]

He might be the kind of guy who doesn't like texting a lot, maybe he's worried he's going to seem desperate, or maybe he's busy.
The guy I'm dating used to text me everyday, but then it's completely normal to slow down a bit, as you get comfortable with each other, and now some weeks we text everyday.. and some weeks we text every 2 or 3 days, but he still seems interested.
The point here is not the quantity but the quality. Does he make you questions? Seems interested on what you are saying?

[Asker]

Yeah he does, and he remembers things I tell him from the first date and things we did.. if he's talking/dating multiple girls, would he remember? And he always watches my snapchat stories

[laaolar]

In my experience they only remember those details of the girls they like, it doesn't mean he's not talking to anyone else, but he definitely likes you. When you went on those dates, did he try to get close to you and touch you on your arms, back? Or even kiss you? Does he flirt?

[Asker]

Well after first date, he asked for a kiss and I gave him a quick kiss and went out of his car. Then he texted me 'sorry for the awkward kiss' and then second date, he didn't ask again. But at the movies, he would try to touch my arm and would say 'come closer'

[laaolar]

Mh.. he probably thought you got uncomfortable with the kiss.
I know that in the movies they do that, but in real life it's different. Specially if your guys is shy or not sure if you'd like it. You see.. didn't do anything on our 3 first dates, only a quick hand on my back. So at the end of date 3 i gave him a quick kiss goodbye because i was tired of wondering what we were doing. And still at date number 4 he was unsure about touching me, but we did made out later on.. so maybe that's how some guys are. They need you to show them it's ok to touch you

[laaolar]

You see.. my guy***
If you want we can dm

[Asker]

Ok i will DM u

[laaolar]

Don't know if you sent me a dm.. i didn't get it.. let me know if you need

[Bad_Man55]

Maybe he is waiting for you to show some interest before he pursues.. you said he initiated so he is likely hoping to see if you are interested

[Asker]

But he doesn't text me everyday.. You think he's not really interested?

[Bad_Man55]

He went on 2 dates and still texts or calls, he is interested. You need to maybe show some more interest to ramp up his confidence for him to make the next move

[Asker]

How do I show more interest? I respond back and I pick up his calls.. aren't they signs Im interested?

[Bad_Man55]

Not necessarily.. answering a text or call of a person you know is polite.. I'm talking about expressing your interest via text or call. Flirt a little harder, drop hints... if you are just having conversations with him and answering his questions you are just another person, you need to reciprocate his flirting and play the game.. if you are just chatting and he doesn't feel like you are wanting more then he will just move on

[NobodyInPatrickular]

Why don't you ask him out on a date? Why don't you initiate contact? He probably thinks you're the one not interested because you've not applied yourself to your relationship.

[Asker]

But he doesn't text me everyday.. You think he's not really interested?

[NobodyInPatrickular]

I'm saying YOU'RE the one not interested here. You've not asked him to a date. You've not initiated a chat with him. He's the one putting a the effort into the relationship and he probably likes you but thinks you're not putting enough effort in.

Ask him what he feels about you, ask him on a date. Don't leave everything for him to start.

[Asker]

If a guy is really interested, wouldn't he make more effort? I've never make the first moves if a guy likes me

[NobodyInPatrickular]

That's probably exactly why any of your past relationships ever worked out. Show him your feelings are mutual. Put effort into him don't make him carry your entire relationship.

Most guys don't want to have a one sided relationship. Guys don't want girls that play hard to get. Be open with him about your feelings and take HIM out.

[Asker]

Are you serious?
"That's probably exactly why any of your past relationships ever worked out"
You don't know anything about my past.
My ex boyfriend cheated on me. And its my fault?
What a shit person you are.
How does this situation relate to my past relationship?
Tool.

[NobodyInPatrickular]

I'm just saying having this mentality isn't good for a healthy relationship. I'm not saying it's youe fault your ex was a scumbag but you can't go into a relationship expecting the guy to do all the work.