Guy's Behavior

Are we toxic for eachother?

So me and this guy know eachother for like 8months (he took my V) And i don’t know if we are friends with benefits or not but i have feelings for him and something happened where he didn’t talk to me for like 2 months because i asked him via messages why he is showing mixed signals to me. I don’t know why so 3days ago i was drunk and i texted him again saying i miss you etc and he said i miss you too we should hangout again so we did & I don't know if he was drunk because he was drinking a lot next to me because of a party later i think? He said sorry & when we had sex again he told me during ‘Don’t abandon me ever again’ I don’t know if he has feelings or not.. And things like im the boss or something I missed you etc. Just romantic But then the second round he was very agressive it hurt i told him to stop but he didn’t.. I dont know maybe he was drunk or not. I just can’t let him go and i dont know if its because he took my V But i feel so lonely because of him but also loved Maybe im confused cause i never really know what being loved by someone feels like. And im really scared of losing hin & be open.. Cause i never felt open with him & I dont know if he has like abandon issues or if he's playing with me I just don’t get it... What do you guys think?
Are we toxic for eachother?
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