Why do I keep seeing this girl? And why do guys keep sending my this length?
Why do masculine guys always want to drive the car?
Why do I keep seeing this girl? And why do guys keep sending my this length?
I just find it feels natural. You can compare it to the analogy of the metaphorical dance between man and woman. Man leads, she follows his lead. He tips her over, not the other way around.
I'm not so close-minded about challenging gender roles, especially the ones that potentially deprive the ones best suited for a job from participating.
But to me, this is not so harmful that way and not about women. It's about men. I think it's either conditioned into many of us or we're born with this innate desire (probably a combination of both -- I think nurture reflects nature rather than coming out of the blue) that we're sort of failing if we're not taking the lead in certain circumstances -- if we're being the analogical one following the woman's footsteps and being tipped over by her for a kiss.
That analogy manifests in various contexts for me, including driving. But it is not looking down upon women. You can even say she is my honored guess while I drive her around. It is not about superiority or inferiority necessarily. But I do not feel right being lead around for long periods of time. I like to step up to the plate here, especially in the dynamics of courtship and dating and relationships.
A real man has enough confidence in his masculinity that he doesn't need to constantly prove that he is a man. A real man does not feel the need to own a pickup truck, do all the driving, wear camo, or talk about how great big boobs are.
No truck, no camo, its just the driving
Same logic. A man who does such things is a man who feels the need to prove something.
Thank you
@Phoenix98 There is no connection, but many guys think that is it unmanly to drive anything other than a truck.
Thanks for MHO!
Wifey drives my truck. She calls it the Lesberado. :)
@Browneye57 That''s what I'm talkin' 'bout! :) :) :)
Then I must be THE MOST effeminate man in existence because I <3 BIG BOOBS and I love talkin about em!!! XD
So, are you Wowgirl's new account since you have all her pics?
I wanna have a truck... Cuz I want one... Another old-school to mobb... But I'd still drive my car on the reg... Terrorizing the town
For the most part it's a Gender Role thing. It's inbred in guys. Honestly one thing I enjoy letting them drive. It doesn't matter who's car we take I just gave him my keys and let him drive. On the rare occasions I drove I hated it, I didn't get to look at him, play with his hair, rest my head on his shoulder. Or look the map and tell him he made the wrong turn 😉
Anyhow, if you want to drive say something. But to me pick your battles wisely we don't need to take everything... If he's a safe driver and wants to drive I say let him...
Thank you for MHO.
I think its just the way they've been brought up, thinking its the right way.
Because it is the right way...
@LEADFOOTboi dude I need a ride😂
Maybe you should ask... Ya boifriend then...
HA!!!
@LEADFOOTboi which one
My life would so easy, if not for all of my bitchy boyfriend's. 😂
Opinion
91Opinion
Nearly every woman I've ever dated has preferred that I drive, and all but one have readily acknowledged that I was a better driver (and the one who didn't is just naturally competitive, but she knew it was true). I used to drive in SCCA and I've been to racing school, and I've driven nearly every kind of land vehicle that is even remotely common, from tractors to snowmobiles to big-rigs to RVs and motorcycles.
On a number of occasions, I've been able to avoid accidents/crashes that most average people couldn't have avoided because of my driving skills and my situational awareness. So, that's a factor.
But I think most women feel safer, and feel cared for, if their man is driving, and many women like not HAVING to drive - they can sit and relax.
Still, if it was important to her, I'd be okay with her driving sometimes. I just really haven't run into many situations where that was important to her - usually they prefer me to drive and avoid driving if they can get me to do it, so...
That's gender stereotypes from way back in like the 60s. Y'know, the man holds you hand and walks on the side of traffic to protect you, man opens doors to be a gentleman, man drives to protect you and be a gentleman, man lets you walk across his jacket so you don't get your feet wet. The reverse is true as well, for example when my mothers car is low on gas she just gets my father to fill it up because it makes him feel like a man because of his gender stereotypes, so he thinks he's being a gentleman and protecting her from having to stand in the cold.
Basically the stereotypes said that women are weak and need men to lead and protect them. So men act as leaders and protectors, and much of those stereotypes still affect our society today. For example, your guy friends probably don't even realize why they drive, they just have a feeling that they're supposed to. Their father probably always drove, so that's just what they know, they see it on t. v. too, the man always drives, they hear their grandparents talk about it, but they don't think about it it all just goes to subconscious, and they follow the stereotypes without thinking about them, because it just seems right at this point.
It's about control, men know their ability but don't know the abilities of the other person, they therefore don't trust the abilities of the other person, don't think that it's a gender issue, men don't like sitting in cars when other men are driving.
Added to that there is an ownership issue, if your sitting in somebody else's car then it's their car not yours, unless not course your going to pay for any damage you cause to the vehicle and not complain about paying for it and treat the car with respect then most men are actually cool enough to let a woman drive, they will absolutely stop it though if she gives them reason to think she will treat the car without respect or will have an issue about paying for any damage she had caused to the vehicle.
Because a man considers this as taking care of his partner, also being a bit of a controlfreak :-) but that's in our nature. It's not that he doesn't trust you, but it's kinda a thing he can do for you. Similar like being in charge (of the car here) and taking care of business (getting to the end station).
You know... don't see it as looking down upon the woman in this case, it's just the nature of men's psychology.
@VIVANT We don't share the same opinion in the matter then, but that's just the point. You are actually illustrating what I just said. You see it as looking down, while my intention isn't that at all. And per definition, it's the intent that counts, not the interpretation.
I don't see what your last sentence has to with my opinion mentioned here. Do please elaborate.
Oh no I’m sorry, I don’t think the intent is to look down on. i never meant that. I do t think intention affects much, a person can still feel patronized.
that is why I gave the example that I did. but I can see it didn't do a good job of illustrating my meaning. That’s my your fault. And honestly I don't know if I can explain it if it isn’t something you have had to deal with.
There is a line between caring and paternalism. Of course adults care for each other but we care for each other as adults. When we look at another adult as in need of special care it can be difficult not to think of them as children. It isn’t intentional. But that Doesn’t make it less demeaning for them.
Like say your partner found something about you very endearing was very protective of you as if you were a child. She isn’t thinking badly of you but you may feel uncomfortable. And it wouldn’t change much just bc it isn’t intentional.
I mean maybe the simplest way is to flip it around. Whatever you see as being protective of her, imagining her doing that with you. It’s uncomfortable.
I know many guys will say well there’s no reason to flip it around bc I’m not a woman. But what you call psychological isn’t normal for everyone and women are not thinking of themselves as needing to be led so it isn’t just natural psychological dynamics.
If you leave out gender for a Moment and think as if you are human with other humans. try to imagine the experience of someone deciding it is naturally their job to be in charge bc of who they are and specifically not your job bc if who you are...
Would that be uncomfortable?
@VIVANT that was actually my point: it can feel a certain way but you have to understand sometimes that that wasn't the intent of the action or words. The person making the action can only go from his/her intentions. The person interpreting should do effort as well of looking for the true intentions. It's often that the person doing an action with good intentions is blamed... because of a misinterpretation of an initial feeling.
I want to give a very hard example, that will get some initial negative thoughts, but here it goed:
If a person in a wheelchair gets treated differently, he/she thinks the world looks down on him/her, but the fact is: he/she isn't a normal person, he/she is a person in a wheelchair. This is also true when a person has tattoo's for example. Where I come from it's frowned upon initially. It's a synonym for being less intelligent... yet this isn't the case but the person itself needs to know that this will be the initial reaction. Same with the person in a wheelchair, they need to accept as well, that they aren't the standard person walking around. They need to get their interpretations right when initially they think the whole world will look down upon them, when this is in fact not the case. The real question that arises here is: why aren't we saying that both sides should do equal effort?
PS: I'm sorry if I misunderstood your initial message, but I do think this is an interesting debate :-) thank you for taking the time to respond to my messages. You are okay in my books.
its fine if he likes to drive or "take care of me"
the issue is if he is controlling and doesn't let me drive, or consideres that he as a man must do that; that shit really pisses me off
gentlemens are supposed to make the woman happy, not make themselves feel like "the man", than its about them, not woman
Because it's always the man's job to make the woman happy xD his happiness means nothing but his wife's happiness should be the only thing he cares about. He should work his ass off providing her the life she wants until he inevitably dies in his 50s, 60s, or if he's lucky he'll survive till his 70s, while she gets to live an extra 10-20 years on the pension that he never got to enjoy because he worked himself to death.
@devilman666 are you on crack? I was saying that men that pride themsleves for being "gentlemens" should act in that way cause thats the point of being a gentleman - put lady first
I am personally in awe of all that crap and traditional roles.
But to your further frustration, if we are already talking traditional roles. - no, women dont do anything, they only give birth to the kids and take care of them as well as their husband and houshold, doing all the work at home like cooking, cleaning etc. Cause that work women do is fucking nothing compared to "real" work men do. Just giving fucking birth is enough for a women to do her part; the only thing men can actually do is to provide.
I wish I was on crack, at least then I'd be having some fun lol. Gentlemen shouldn't exist anymore tbh, we've entered the age of equality, so it's bullshit for women to continie expecting men to be gentlemen. Men shouldn't have to sacrifice their own happiness for women, men shouldn't have to provide. The problem is women still expect men to be gentlemen, even though we get none of the benefits for being gentlemen, now adays we get a woman who works part of full time, makes less money than we do, expects us to do half the chores at home, and then after 5-10 years she divorces you and takes half of everything you own, as well as half of everything you earn for the rest of your life.
Tbh I'd rather be single and focus on enjoying my life, rather than sacrificing my own happiness so that I can provide for a woman. Why would I want to be unhappily married when I can be happily single? I can even still get laid because a lot of young women are easy to get in bed lol.
Personally I'm not getting into a relationship if she expects me to be a gentleman, I want a 50/50 relationship, where she gives as much as I do, not where she expects me to be a gentleman and give her everything she ever wanted.
@devilman666 I dont like traditional roles but everyone likes when you are kind to them and treating them special, that is all what it is that women want (or anyone really). Its much harder for women to earn as much as men do cause women are often mistreated as being considered less capable and dont get same respect as men. Men also have more variety in jobs cause of their physicality. You can't expect 50/50 exactly literally. You keep on forgeting the babies. If you want it all the same then you should give birth too. If the woman earns less, well she did went to pregnancy so yeah, nothing men can actually do to top that. Due to the fact that wome are physicaly weaker and have to give birth they do want someone to protect them and provide for them in the time they have to take care of pregnancy and the kids. People mistake equality as a literal thing. Its more about equal respect. About not underestimate traditional things women did. Men and women are not the same but we all should be equal in terms of respect and oportunities.
Traditional is fine for those who like it, provided both partners are fine with their roles and each role is equally respected and valued.
If you think you are better off single, definitely by all means then be singe and mingle.
Here's the thing though, a lot of women want to use men during that period when they are having the child, then divorce him and raise the child as single mother and steal half of his earnings and pension for the rest of his life. I refuse to support someone just so they can turn around and steal half of everything I own the moment they don't need me anymore.
I agree we should be equal in terms of respect and opportunity, but I don't think men are equally respected and I think men are kind of oppressed by being pressured into their traditional role. You talk about respecting and valuing both genders equally, but men aren't valued equally with women and you make that clear."nothing men can do actually do to top that (having babies)", you said yourself that nothing we can do will ever be equal to the fact that women can have babies. A man could give his life to save the world and every person on it, and he is less valuable than any woman because he can't get pregnant? You actl like pregnancy is this source of infinite value but women need men to get pregnant!! Women need men as much as men need women, yet women lie and pretend like that isn't the case. You pretend like we need to EARN the affection of women, while women just DESERVE the affection of men.
You say you don't like traditional roles but that's what you're arguing for, men to step up and be the provider and protector who is also the leader, the "man of the house". You even promote women's main value as being pregnancy, rather than the effort they can put in.
Personally I'd like a relationship, I'm just not willing to sacrifice myself to make some woman happy. I agree that childbirth makes the genders unequal but there is nothing we can do about that, it's nature. Why punish men because of the way nature created us?
I'm fine with the argument that men need to step up during the pregnancy, but then divorce rates are high, women are more likely to ask for a divorce, women are more likely to get benefits from the divorce where as men are more likely to be forced to pay a lot of money. Now men pay for the dates, men work to make the woman happy, they get married, start a family, then she meets someone else who makes her happier, probably because her husband is working extra long hours to support the family, so she cheats and divorces, and gets all the benefits for cheating and ruining her family. It's a huge risk, so unless a woman is willing to meet me just about 50/50 on everything then I have issues trusting her, because in my view, it seems to me like she is trying to test how much she can use me. If I have to give in to her on everything and make her happy then I think she's just using me, if she tries to meet me 50/50 then that shows that she cares about my feelings, cares about me, cares about my happiness, because she's willing to sacrifice just as much as I am to ensure that our relationship works out. Most women aren't, and when the relationship stops being beneficial to them, they leave.
@devilman666 You have very negative and wrong view on this. You seem to think that women are all that bad that they just want to use the man. Plenty of women now have their own jobs and dont actually choose to marry cause they need a man to provide. When you go in the relationship there are always risks. Its like you fear you will be cheated and likeliness of that is like 99% which is completely unrealistic. Most women are not up there to use men and diss them wtf. you should check your belifies.
I said im personally not into traditional roles but I was arguing about certain logical things regarding role of the man and the woman in such traditional roles. Sure there are things that some people can do that top women having babies but those are rare things that most people dont do. I didn't want to say by it that women are better than men but to make you realize that your 50/50 you cannot look as you do. i said we should value what both sides do. I explained thats why women may earn less and it can be ok. Most women only want the man to have a stabile job and help at home. I think thats completely fair. I never said men dont have issues themselves like being preassured into traditional roles but men need to resolve that themselves as most men still want that traditonal role. Resolving womens issues actually automaticall helps to resolve those for men. You just dont get that its not about killing traditional ways but about freedom to choose. People that want traditional ways can have it as long as they are not preassuring everyone to be that way.
"You pretend like we need to EARN the affection of women, while women just DESERVE the affection of men." - when did i say that? Relationships take mutual effort, it goes both ways
I personally just love my car, and love driving. Also, most of the women I have dated have terrible driving records involving at least one really bad accident. I have a clean record, never totaled a car or even dented one, and have been told that I’m just a great driver.. so me it just makes so much sense. Also, most women I e been in the car with terrify me when they are behind the wheel. There isn’t the consistency, sureness, awareness, and vigilance that I feel when I’m in the car with a man. It’s also just more comfortable when you are driving your own car.
It happens at birth lol
I prefer driving even if it's just with guys - and especially if it's a longer drive.
But I think to your question, it's a little like holding the door open for her - or paying for dinner - it's a gesture related to gender roles (which I know are not always black and white - but as most guys grow up (maybe more historically but still so) this type of behavior is seen as proper so it's what the guy does his first date when he drives and the girl (maybe more historically but still so) sort of expects it on her first date when he drives... and it carrys on from there... long standing societal habits like that are pretty real.
is it usually his car? i mean i get the whole , ''im the man and so i will drive'' thing but it could also be the case he just doesn't let other people drive his car... for me i have always driven but thats because the odd time i haven't been employed building cars i have took work as a professional driver so as such im better placed to do that task regardless of any traditional gender roles
I'd prefer the guy to drive. Done with driving 100 miles and getting shi# from drivers. I hate driving on my period. Worst thing ever.
I'm so glad I didn't buy a car and made a good decision in never driving again.
I like it too 😊
😊😊🙈
This is interesting 🙂
Thanks 🙂
For myself it’s just what I’m used to. She prefers me to drive as well. Not only that a lot of women seem to take forever to get to where they’re going. I’ll wait behind a lady waiting to turn forever, even when a car approaching seems like a mile away they will sit there waiting. If I happen to get into an accident I want to know that I did every in my power to avoid it. Plus I’ve been in the passenger seat w a lot of women, bad drivers, no bueno. The other thing is I prefer to take my car cause a lot of women’s are are disgusting. Makeup, food wrappers, shoes, trash, etc. I know some men can be that way but a majority of my experience has been w women.
Meh! That is plain stupid. So you have driving license but you are not allowed to drive because your guy is too masculine and don't let you to drive!
There you have it! Next time you are on a date , ask if the guy if it's ok for the girl to drive while the guy is sitting next to her? If he starts struggling or takes time to answer then you know. If he says right a way that it's ok and it won't bother him so go for it.
I did and to friends they said they would rather drive
do they know they are living in year 2020 and not the 1300's? Are they from Saudi Arabia? WTF
What is so unmasculine with letting my partner drive, The partner i chose to be with as they chose me?
I so curious, i need to know. I want to be there the moment it happens that you will drive and he loses his manhood just so i can understand what the fuck the problem is
Too “masculine.” Lol. I can’t stand that. He’s just a crybaby bitch.
I watched a “hard” thug, “hood maw-fucka” throw a fit over having to sit in the middle seat in the back.
Whatever masculinity really is, I hope it isn’t “can’t let anyone else drive.” That makes me think you’re a bitch.
Are you a reckless driver? Haha
My partner isn't feminine in any way but we alternate in driving depending on whose car we use or the situation, like if we're driving/picking up the other person somewhere. But we both prefer he drives because he's better at it and I sleep a lot.
Sometimes I let people drive, if they have showed me that they know what they’re doing.
Some people will literally drive like a nascar driver. But when they come near a semi truck, their brain just shuts off. I’m like “Dude just overtake him or pass him. You’ve been riding next to this giant for 5 min straight lol”.
It's 'ego', I think - the silly type.
I had two exes who were not afraid to go beyond 160 km/h - and I enjoyed the rides with THEM as the driver.
In the other cases they actually EXPECTED me to drive.
They are like that at emotional level as they see girls stupidity and some see them as piece of chicken only, some know girls will create a problem for them if they are given to do drive a big car as there mindset cannot control a big car or bus (bus I mentioned bus purposefully). . Think of your own can you control a bus and have cuts while driving without making a mistake
If you've not asked them, then all answers will be pure conjecture.
In my experience, some guys see it as an extension of chivalry. I'm simpler, and enjoy driving, especially on an open winding road. I haven't dated any women who know how to drive a manual transmission, so if my car is taken, I have to drive.
I have no preference whether who drives. But if he insists that you DO NOT drive, it may be a bad sign of an over controlling patriarchal man. My boyfriend drives because it is his car. If it were my car, I would be the one driving my own car. If he insists that he drives my own car, that is a VERY bad sign. And you're likely to not feel respected by him throughout marriage.
Could be you’re just a shitty driver. Wouldn’t get in the car with my ex driving, had nothing to do with “being the man”, she was just a menace behind the wheel
Maybe but I don't wreck cars
Well, for some reasons. Guys like to be in control, not only emotionally, but physically. Second - it's his car (legally speaking) and if something happens, insurance can cause troubles. Third - some guys think women can't drive and are dangerous behind the wheel, and also they tend to get distracted and lost in unknown locations... I once allowed to drive my car, and it was quite nervous, though nothing happened...
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions