Why are men always abusing and raping women?

[Anonymous]

I have heard so many things that sound like abuse since being quarantined. And it happened before that as well. Outside, in my apartment building. Men seem so violent, especially when they're emotional (angry) and have a woman alone. My friends have gone through so much physical (and emotional) abuse, rape, sexual assault that it seems like I'm lucky. I've avoided men until recently for the most part so that's probably the only reason why. I've even seen men physically attacking women on the street outside my apartment in an expensive part of our city. I've called the police multiple times but it usually doesn't matter because on the street, they usually walk by. I walked outside when I heard an angry man speaking in an angry tone of voice and scuffling with a woman. He was yelling at her and restraining her and she kept telling him to get off of her. I walked out and yelled at him, which is risky and dangerous. He got off of her but she continued to follow him anyway even though she was obviously upset.

Kind of makes me wonder if relationships are all theyre cracked up to be. It's hard to call my own dad abusive but I remember a time when I was young that he pushed my mom or something in a fight and she called the police. And thats aside from out right "beat your ass and rape you" abuse that isn't unheard of in my extended family or the world.

Why are men so violent? How do you feel safe with them?

[jaybee281]

Usually happens for different reasons depending on what we're talking about.. For rape it's usually a guy that never slept with a girl and gets so frustrated about that that his subconscious mind becomes a raping machine (Sigmund Freud's words with a better vocabulary from myself..) That is why porn actually exists it wasn't allowed before he proved that there is a clear proportional correlation between raping and sexual assaults happening and guys that don't have their sexual needs met.. so with porn guys have their sexual needs handled but for some they still see the dudes that fuck and when they get too much frustrated about it and make like a goal that they'll never get to have sex with someone that's when rape is next..

[jaybee281]

Also this part of men beating up women might happen occasionally (not me personally i verbally abused someone once for my own reasons but never hit someone) some dudes it's there defensive mechanism against for what they think is a lack of respect towards them (like some guys are like if he says something and she says no that's a lack of respect to who he is in the relationship) that's why i am all with equality in interpersonal relationships between men and women (still against feminism).. I'm not excusing beating a woman up but in the heat of the moment a lot of people including women can easily lose their cool due to lying or lack of respect or whatever (not everything is what it seems like because the observer is like he's abusing her or vice versa and there are usually reasons for it).. Regardless i think that men should be more stoic and women should not play too much on a guy's nerves (not saying that it's always the case just saying that that's usually how things go down)

[Asker]

Plenty of men rape and assault women who aren't virgins.

Women being abused doesn't happen "occasionally." It happens often. very often.

[WadeDanielSmith]

I've never wronged a woman in my life, and I can't get women to as much as speak to me, just because I don't make a ton of money.

Women date all the wrong men. the more evil a man is, the more likely a woman will date him and marry him, which is why so many women end up in abusive relationships. They WANT the evil man, and then when they get him, they regret it and blame everyone else.

[Asker]

Blaming women for men being violent. Please go away. You're not a good person if you respond to a question about abuse and rape with blaming a victim. You're part of the problem.

[mattmanyah2]

I know I made sure my little sister has had mace since her boobs came in (at 11yo). She was double Ds by 13. Before she left to college I mad sure she knew how to change a tire shot a gun and stab someone... She's happily married too a good guy that had a knife pulled on him once lol I know even though she's married she still carries a gun on her she has one with 3 shots for when she's dressed up and one with 8 for every day she knows how to shoot both and hit her target within 20 yards... That's how she feels safe... Some of the girls I date talk to me a long time before they meet with me. I dated one girl 6 months before I knew where she lived.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm weak on the self defense techniques. Dad gave me mace and I never carry it. Have to do better.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Sounds like you just live in a bad neighborhood. Where I live that stuff never happens, but in rougher areas it can be a daily occurrence. Criminality of all kinds tends to congregate in high-poverty areas, and sadly a certain proportion of that criminality is gonna be of a sexually violent nature.

[Asker]

lol I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Brooklyn. I went to one of the top schools in New York. This is far from exclusive to poor neighborhoods, though, that does seem to be the lie men tell themselves. I guess it makes you feel better, I don't know.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Well then I don't know. I live in London and like any city we have "good" areas and "bad" areas. I wouldn't set foot in the bad areas even with a group of bodybuilders as my backup, so I can only imagine the hell that a young woman would be subjected to living in those areas day after day, walking home alone at night and what have you. In any case, my broader point was that violence against women-- abhorrent as it is-- isn't spread uniformly across the population, and the men who do it are likely to be repeat offenders. Meaning there are more victims of sexual violence than there are perpetrators. So even if something like 1 in 10 women are victims of rape at some point in life, that doesn't mean 1 in 10 men are rapists. Even in your local area, you probably live amongst a population with thousands of men, maybe even tens of thousands. And yet the violent crimes may only be perpetrated by 50, or 100, or 200 of those men. Now its reasonable that if all you see day after day is violent sexual crimes, then you would assume that "all men abuse women", because that's "ALL" you see men do. But the error here is that of omission: for that generalisation to be true, you have to omit all the men you pass by every day yet never notice, the ones just living their lives in relative peace and civility. The just outnumber the unjust, it's just that the latter make their presence felt more strongly as a byproduct of the violent, repulsive nature of their crimes. So it's the generalisation I disagree with; but I won't contest that these men represent a serious threat to women and to society, and should be brought to justice.

[whitehide]

Men that do stuff like that are insecure little scum. It's about power and control, which they can't prove they have, so they try to show it in another way, and wrongfully so.

[Asker]

Yes, it's very sad. A woman is never completely the same after that. I have to say, my friends who have been abused, raped, and sexually assaulted seem so strong to me in their continued desire to be with men and find love. The experiences my friends and family members have had with men seem like they would break me, I don't know. I'm a pretty strong person, but this is just a lot. I already have trust issues with men and thats just from observing the way they behave all my life. These women who continue to believe in men are strong af and/or delusional.

[whitehide]

They're definetly not delusional, because they know that not all men are like that. I hope you'll see that one day, too.

[Asker]

Well, unfortunately a trend of abuse tends to happen for many women so I'm afraid there's a mix of things happening. Just sad.

[whitehide]

It's actually the other way around here according to a recent study. Some women eventually end up mentally and sometimes even physically abusing their husbands, but the men won't want to say or doing anything because it's "unmanly"

[Asker]

Women everywhere who have been abused often find themselves in patterns of finding new abusive partners. I have had friends like that as well, very sad. I've had friends like that and they start accepting the behavior or it's their norm. It takes a lot to escape the pattern. I think I feel even more helpless because calling the police can make it worse. I went to a domestic violence training a while back and they said unless its a specifically dangerous situation, calling the police could escalate violence for the woman. The guy in that situation will often blame her for causing people to call the police and take it out on her with more rape and abuse. Statistically, women who leave their abusers are significantly more likely to be murdered because the husband/bf will retaliate. So they actually told us leaving the situation, at least leaving immediately, may not even be the best immediate action and that each situation has to be handled carefully. My mind was blown and a whole new level of sadness for these women came over me. It's just fucked up.

[Asker]

The research for how dire the consequences of abuse are for women in abusive relationships is just insane. This shit actually scares me and just makes me feel sad for these women.

www.npr.org/.../cdc-half-of-all-female-murder-victims-are-killed-by-intimate-partners

[Tomsta]

Domestic violence reports is up because there is now no 'escape' from it

Also you hear about women being abused more and its more socially acceptible for a women to report it

Figures show that the figures for domestic abuse against men isn't that far behind women

[Asker]

I've heard that, and yet I catch men doing it very openly. Either women are better at hiding it and are selectively abusing or men are just more abusive overall.

[Asker]

Men tend to be more violent in general as well. Even toward each other. The group of people that rape men the most isn't women - it's men.

[Tomsta]

Like i said because people now can't go to work to escape its more common as you quite literally stuck in the same place as them

People that are abused are often well adept at hiding it. Some even believe that they deserve it because they messed up something

[Asker]

This isn't a new thing, I've seen this my entire life, as I mentioned before. The quarantine just makes it more obvious.

That also doesn't excuse anything, so I'm not sure why you're repeating yourself on that point. Abuse is abuse.

[Tomsta]

Not using as an exuse. Im stating that the reason why its now seems to be more common right now

And also why some people dont report it. Because they believe they desereve it

[Liam_Hayden]

Your generalizations are ignorant. These "men" are a very small % of all men. Here are some more stupid generalizations that come from the same thought process as you used here:

1. Why are white guys always Nazis?
2. Why are black guys always doing drive-bys?
3. Why are Mexican guys always in gangs?
4. Why are women always killing their children?
5. Why are female teachers always molesting underage boys?

[Asker]

You do realize that some generalizations are true?

1. Why do men have penises?
2. Why do most women menstruate at some point in their lives?
3. Why are most girls brought up playing with dolls?
4. Why do most boys grow up not playing with barbies?
5. Why do most Americans like hot dogs?

The idea that generalizations are in and of themselves incorrect or stupid is incredibly ignorant.

According to research, you're incorrect. This is not a "very small percent" of men at all. Women experience rape, sexual assault, and abuse very often. By asserting that very few men do these things, not only are you lying to yourself, but you're calling women liars. And thats given that it's common knowledge that these things are under-reported. Take your delusional, ignorant bs elsewhere. Educate yourself before you open your mouth.

[Asker]

The only way your statement is true is if you believe a "very small percent" of men somehow are doing crazy amounts of abuse. Unlikely, but if that's the logic you want to go with, then go with it.

[John_Doesnt]

Because it's easy.
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/And_938272_2376304.jpg

[Thatsamazing]

Why do girls do nothing but think with their ovaries? Ask God or the universe or evolution, not us. Testosterone is the hell of a thing.

[Asker]

It's a Q & A site, so I'm asking here. If you're having an emotional reaction to the question, maybe it rings true for you. Seek a therapist, don't take it out on women.

[Thatsamazing]

If you're having an emotional reaction to your own post, maybe you have no idea what you're talking about. No one here is "emotional," unless you are. Seek a therapist, don't take it out on men.

[Asker]

You clearly have issues if you are bothered because someone is talking about abuse. You responded by trying to demean women. Immature as well.

[Thatsamazing]

You clearly have issues if you're trying to lump all men into one category, which is generally what morons do-- the same thing that, sometimes, depending on the subject, guys who are morons do about females. Again, no one is "bothered," unless you are. You responded with straw man nonsense. Immature as well.

[Asker]

You don't sound intelligent enough or honest enough for this conversation and I don't make allowance for any man trivializing the violence women suffer through. We're done here.

[Thatsamazing]

This was never a conversation, champ. No one is trivializing anything, especially violence. You took the idiotic choice to lump all men together, so I did the same thing for females. Which is equally stupid. Instead of complaining about all men, how about you complain about the specific ones who have wronged you or your friends.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Women rape men at comparable rates and abuse men more then men abuse women.

[Anonymous]

It’s in their natures... but thankfully majority have decency.

[Asker]

I don't know about that. If it's in their nature, then the majority of them are prone to it.

[Opinion Owner]

Capable, not prone. Majority just choose not to act like savages

[skeetskeetskeet]

That shit does happen... some places are worse than. Others for sure but just know... not everyone likes rapists and a lot of them are not afraid to do sonething about it when they cross one

[Random_Guy_Online]

Ah, yet another hastily generalized question on GaG. You're asking a loaded question.

[JesseJayNeak]

It happens all the way around too. Men are the primary abusers but that doesn't mean that women are always victims

[EmbraceThePain]

“Why are men always abusing and raping women?”


No

[Asker]

You all never want to see your own violence. Maybe that's why it continues.

[Anonymous]

Men abuse woman. Children see this. Females date and or marry abusive men. Boys grow up an abuse women. Humans are generally stupid and repeat history.

[Anonymous]

You should definitely stay away from men.

[Asker]

Probably

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely, for their sake.

[Asker]

And definitely for mine, according to reality.

[Opinion Owner]

Your "reality" is in your mind only. The real world is nothing like the picture you're trying to paint here. "Women" like you should all be put on an isolated island to live together and spread your hate amongst each other there instead of infecting normal society with it.

[Asker]

Lies and denial about the violence women experience. You are part of the problem.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't deny there is violence against women, but not nearly to the extent you're saying. You are the liar here, not me.

[HakunaMatata13]

It's their nature.

[chriscdi]

im only violent when i gotta be

[Asker]

Hope you get what you deserve then someday.

[chriscdi]

thanks