Do not mistake any one thing with a man who has full balls. he's no longer his parents child. he's a loose cannon. A liability. Menace to society. Drain his sack and cut his tail, then suddenly out of nowhere Graham, local library volunteer and avid bird watcher has returned to church this Sunday soiled and sticky locked inside the confession booth, if you catch my drift. Only going after beautiful faces and sexy bodies makes sense while cycling through a phase of one arm marathons and taking granny to the beauty psrlor.
While the fun version drives it home for most of us, there are biological and psychological genetics that are at hand when we look to behavior that you ask about. Its offensive and primitive at times. It just so happens that its quite factually instinctual for survival as a species to exhibit this type of natural selection. In today's standards however, it is found to be chauvinistic and led by a second brain per se making decisions like such. Digging deeper into human biology and psychology, you will find the actual purpose for this behavior to be instinct and with that, I think most of you will be forced to rethink everything we know as a modern society. In short. Beauty is that way to survive itself genetically for millions of years. Fast forward and were now defying natural selection, in theory compromising the integrity of our very existence by simply stopping and listening to that statement. Sorry Anonymous. Fact proven science is something you will never prove wrong. Its mother nature you will start to persecute as shallow and leave the men out of it as they are doing what they are designed to do, effectively, over the course millions of years and still counting. Very powerful stuff, ladies and gentlemen. Knowledge is power. Get educated. Ask questions with purity and not judgement.
It is simple. Wi like to bang good looking girls not ugly ones. And those who say that is not tru are hypocrites
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Anonymous
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To be fair, many women go for what they think is attractive too. I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to. I'm not the hottest girl, but Idc, I'm pretty picky on looks. Its not the only thing that matters, but is part of the equation.
But it is true that looks tend to be a huge focus for men, often times at the expense of everything else. A lot of guys grow out of that but it can take a while. Men aren't conditioned to value women for a lot other than beauty. Young girls are taught this same message, which is why many think the worst thing they could be is fat or "ugly" and that women are "old" at 30. Society is teaching women and men what womens worth is to us. Until that message changes, we are most valued for looks.
But a lot of men like more than just beauty. But some kind of beauty does need to be in the equation for most. And its common for them to go after women society thinks are more attractive than they are.
This is why I tell women that you dont have to apologize for not wanting to date short, unattractive, poor, etc men. Women are so apologetic sometimes. Fuck that, like what you like and never apologize for it. They do the same thing and even worse.
There is also an evolutionary element to this, but I think socialization accounts for a looot, especially today.
Because most men are superficial and look at physical beauty over personality and intelligence.
I emphasize most, not all. I know there are exceptions to that so calm down!!! Just like the same can apply for women.
It kills me when I read comments from guys saying how much personality and a "nice" woman is important to them. Yet I guarantee if they had to choose between a beautiful woman with no personality, versus an average looking woman with a great personality, guess who the guy would pick?
Men are more visual than women. So while we're focusing on a guy's features, is he relationship material, and does he like us, men are mostly focused on how attractive we are 🤦♀️
Pretty much why you can't see as many male-prostitutes (or gigolos) as the female prostitutes. The demand in each is vastly different. We wouldn't be able to handle being intimate with an old and fat granny, who has short hair but puts money into our buttcrack when we're done.
But surely u njoy the comfort and security money brings... And to explain this... In a zoo in south Africa they tried to mate 2... Leopard I think it was.. cat like... .. Anyway... They tried everything for 3 years.. But failed... At some point the moved them next to the zebras... 3 months later female was pregnant... Why? Cause the female saw there is food here... Even though it was guaranteed every day... When the female saw prosperity she obayed to nature. It's in their DNA... But w8... There is more to it... When women get pregnant... They are immediately placed second. They are placed in a state of survival. The child will suck everything it needs in order to survive... When a woman doesn't eat to feed the baby.. She she it cause she try to survive. Food or not the child will get all the nutrients it needs to survive. The child is priority. The woman will go dry first fat then muscles and organs last. So it's essential for men to understand they are in need of help and attention. Security is important in woman world. In a primal level but also to commitment. They will make the sacrifice for something less attractive if they feel more secure me thinks...
When you get this many dislikes from men, you know you've hit a nerve, called the truth. :D
I remember years ago my father's friend somehow met this girl traveling from Europe. She was very tall, beautiful, perfect model looking. At my age I remember being absolutely astonished at how him, and his friend, were acting around her. It's like their whole personalities changed. They were in a frenzy over her, trying to please her in any way. Her personality wasn't that great, she was pretty boring really.
@Dimos81 I always see this argument about survival, basic primal needs and it really astonishes me that there are people out there that truly think you can compare humans to zebras, monkeys, whatever. Yes, we all have a primitive animalistic side to us. We all get angry etc but we can also calm those instinctual emotions, we can create art, we can reason, etc. Maybe this is actually what divides people, some might just be animals unable to rise above anything.
Women have way higher standards than men do that are way less achievable. I would absolutely date a girl who was overweight, I've tried before, but I'm not even allowed to have "good hygiene and wears clothes that fit" as a standard without, "Oh, you'll only date a model." Meanwhile women dog-pile on like 10% of dudes and then bitch that there are no good men left.
I have no problem with the "he needs to work out, he needs to have good hygiene, he needs to have hobbies and have a sense of humor", those are all reasonable. But the problem is that y'all just want to pretend your demands stop there. Most women, or at least a plurality, won't tolerate a man under 6'0" tall (14.5% of men meet this standard, whereas American women surveyed believe that the average man is 6'1"... 4 inches taller than the ACTUAL average man). Most women won't date a man who makes less than them, no matter how much the women are making. That means that a straight woman who is a physician, will really only be able to date celebrities and other physicians. Men don't have that standard, and if they did, it would be called "elitism". And studies show that the average woman rates almost 80% of men as "below average attractiveness" when just shown the face. Almost four times as many men are single for their entire lives compared to women.
And that's not even mentioning all the fucking narcissistic traits and anti-social personality disorder bull-shit that y'all glorify in men, and then bitch about when you realize, "Oh, I guess they'll treat me like that too. Well, damn..." And no one is ever allowed to bring any of that shit up, because then there is this collective what-about maneuver: "Well, all men do this!" Shut up lol
Our (most animals) brain was designed to look at physical traits to seek the best partner to mate with. That's the answer, evolution is not design it can't expect that someday a species which rose from microorganisms will have more to do than just hunt and reproduce. I am sure you can find people who don't value your appearance 'good or bad' but you would also have to add value to their life so I'd say try being valuable (more valuable than the rest, so you are easy to seek out) and maybe try being healthy and exercise? (That/it really does alter the appearance of people and I can show/give you examples if you want) i only say this because most people feel their appearance is hereditary and it's true that some features are but your overall appearance can change massively depending upon how the face sits on bone and how much fat content is on the cheeks etc. Also don't you think it's better to choose a partner who is physically fit than one who is not (if they are both more or less the same, in terms of mental ability and personality)?
This is a common assumption by women. A similar counterpart could also ask, why are women so shallow, and only care about money? In reality, not all women care about money alone, and not all men care about looks alone. But to some degree, we do in fact care about those things. It only ever becomes a problem when when the complexities of personality and compatibility are dumbed-down to money and looks. And this perspective is usually common with less experienced or younger people. Which is why its important to simply enjoy life, and not take it personally when relationships don't work out the way you'd hoped. Life is a journey, and with more experience, both men and women alike inevitably learn to value authentic attributes that last, rather than only the things that are best described as icing on the cake. The cake, is the most important part, but enjoy the icing while you're young. Cake will come.
I think we all go after people who attract us physically initially. Some of these relationships work out, some don't. It is only natural that we gravitate towards someone we're attracted to physically, but this can develop if you get to know them first. Personally, if I am not attracted to a guy, dating him wouldn't come to mind and that's normal. Having said that, I am not all that attracted to 'conventionally' attractive guys. Big penises, six packs etc are all overrated in my opinion. Plus let's not forget that many women look more attractive than their men because of all the tools at their disposal - hair extensions, fake lashes, nails and tan, heavy make-up, filters and even plastic surgery. Take that away and the woman looks more on par with her man (and more naturally beautiful in my opinion)
Not every blonde is sexy and not every men like blondes. Not every man is shallow but attraction is extremely important in a relationship and you can’t expect a guy to force himself to be attracted to some girl. We all have the right to choose a partner we find physically attractive and it’s just human nature. Also there are probably a lot more shallow girls and once they put on the slap they think they’re god’s gift. A lot of girls think too highly of themselves like they think they’re beautiful when really they’re so plain and normal looking.
You say that as if women don't do the same thing. Looks>personality for both sexes. The only difference is that women are more likely to compromise on looks if their partner earns more. Id bet in most examples where a hot girl is with a mediocre looking guy, the guy earns significantly more money than she does.
And for casual sex women are probably even pickier/more judgmental on looks than men are. Sure for relationships it might be more common to see an average guy with a hot girl than it is to see an average girl with a hot guy, but for casual sex its the reverse.
Not all men are like that. There are few rare men who have a different mentality. I guess it has to do with how they are raised. It's not about how we are wired but it actually has to do with how we are raised.
Our mentality is affected by our environment, but don't forget that individuals are affected differently. What I mean is, two people may be situated in the same conditions, but may come out different from each other. Still, this doesn't mean that the environment was not a factor of what they've become.
As a guy, I deny the premise of your question. You ask "Why are men," implying that you think all men are exactly the same, and we're not. We are individuals, just as you women are. Women have their preferences in men, and certain physical characteristics turn different women on. What appeals to one woman may not appeal to another. It is the same with men. Now, the male brain is hard-wired to find the sights and sounds of women interesting, physically attractive, and sexy. But if a girl is a beautiful empty shell, I'm not going to stay interested in her for long!
Here’s the truth. just cus he wants the hot girl, it doesn’t mean he can get them. The vast majority of guys do not date hot chicks. There’s probably one hot chick out of every 50 guys who wants to date her. Simply not enough to go around. And Hot girls reject everyone cus they know that they have the entire world going after them. They won’t go for a guy unless he is exceptionally good looking or if there is a reason for her to like him.
I have seen quite a few average looking girls / guys date the hotties. You don’t always need to be a hottie to date another hottie. Looking average , knowing how to put on makeup the right away and dress beautiful can get you the hot guy. But relationships aren’t always about looks. If there is no chemistry between two people , it’s only gonna be about sex. Doesn’t matter how good looking you are.
How I long to see the day when we stop using words like "shallow" as it applies to mate selection and physical appearance. There is every evidence to support that this is something neither sex can control.
In answer to your question, it's because evolution has selected humans who want to have offspring with someone who is genetically healthy. And the traits that BOTH men and women find attractive in mates are outward markers of youth and genetic health. We can't control this, men and women alike. No one should be looked down upon anyone for rejecting someone based on physical appearance.
As for the above pics, you're choosing the outliers and thinking they're the rule. They're exceptions, not the rule.
I didn’t realize this myself of course for the longest while, but women actually tend to feel more attracted towards a guy based on personality than appearance. If his personality is charming enough, it can actually transcend onto how women view his appearance. If you click through the videos by this dating advice expert, he does go on to explain what attracts women to try and help out the nervous guys. https://www.themodernman.com/dating/why-do-i-get-nervous-when-i-talk-to-women-i-like.html
@Aislin9 Yeah and another important point is that guys need to be accepting of the fact that they can’t realistically expect to win all of their battles.
It's biological. It's like baboons sniffing the reddest ass in the group. Female baboons can complain, "What has she got that I haven't got?" The answer would be, a big bright redder ass. Just like females swooned for millennia over the best provider in the tribe. Ugg the Caveman, who can really bring home the wild meat, and caused cavewomen to swoon and want his babies because he could provide for them, became, after a 100,000 years, screaming females at boy band concerts. It's biological. What's that boy band got that I haven't got? A guitar and $10 million dollars. If it sounds unfair, but that's life.
Partly because men are more visually driven in terms of sexual attraction, and partly because of living in a culture/society that reinforces it with heavily objectified images of women.
I've seen women who were incredibly attractive yet terrible people, and women who are not very attractive yet the sweetest people ever who are extremely caring and nurturing. Same with men I've seen incredibly handsome men being abusive to their families, and men who are not attractive but awesome people nonetheless.
One of the biggest blessings in my life has definitely been the fact that I grew up seeing all four of those examples in my own family very closely, which is why I didn't care much about how anyone looked since I was very little.
@optimized180 most people in society are shallow which is why good looking people get away doing so many shitty things. Deep down we are all the same inside. Some people were just born to the right parents
First I'd like to say I feel like every second question is why are men (insert insult hear) and I'm getting tired of it also the first love of my life is still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen but years after she cheated on me and broke my heart some of my friends and family (that I trust to tell me the truth no matter how painful) that at best she wasn't ugly it makes no sense to me she is gorgeous but to most she wasn't that good looking maybe around 3 or 4 so fuck you I couldn't give a dam what you look like if we get along and are compatible I'm happy
This question generalises men in an unfair way, if you know a man like this I'm sorry that sucks and it's shit that that's all they care about but there's plenty of people out there who care about what's on the inside too. Also, there's loads of women out there too that only care about dick size or whether he has abs and all. Every person is different, I just dont think it's right to imply that all men are shallow.
Eh, I don't know about that. I've seen plenty of very plain or even below average women in relationships. Yes, some guys are superficial and care primarily about looks (and so are some women), but I think what most people are looking for is a compatible partner.
I don't know why some do unless they have a huge ego, but for majority of us we don't go only after 10/10's because that's not the only thing we care about, so our options would be limited.
Also it's not bad to have high standards as long as you have them for yourself.
I think it's wrong to blame just one side of the story for the other side of the story is equally to blame. But the psychology of an individual is the same as our eyes are made only to look at another, and not ourself. What looks appealing to is what attracts us, as our vision ( what we see) is not linked to our appearance.
But why do Not so attractive women tend to compete alongside attractive ones. Instead they should try attracting men by their wit, intelligence and care. Try telling her man how handsome and attractive he is.. and then one can see the appreciation bounce back.. after all beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Why do girls only go for guys who are taller than them or above 6ft? Or guys with big penises. Why do girls play mind games with genuine guys and claim they never gave signals? Or why do girls only go for guys with lots of money? Why do girls make guys chase them and then say no? Claiming they never provoked him in any way? Oh, I know you're just being silly gosh stop discriminating against guys you're just assuming every guy is like that don't generalise every guy some are good some are bad obviously. You're just a sad incel.
Sorry to break your myth but biologically, both men and women go for bodies and faces and as a matter of fact, women are more lookist as you can see dating apps surveys. The reason why it appears it is only men who go for bodies and faces is guys are blunt, while women don't say directly about looks because they would be seen shallow by society. Besides, women's SMV peaks in their 20s, which is a short period after which it declines and since they have pressure to marry and have children soon, they have to ignore looks over resources which is more helpful in long run. Choosing resources over looks due to biological and social constraints, makes it appears females are less shallow.
I don't I am decent looking and the girlfriends I have had both looked good and had amazing personalities but I dumped 1 of them for cheating and the other dumped me because I had a large argument over a book (similar to a flat earth argument) so my girlfriend dumped me because I couldn't get along with her friend and we had been together for over a year. Holy sh*t women are confusing
Women seem to be the same way... depends on what they're after. Just like a guy will drop cognitive standards for a hawtie, so too will a women drop physical standards for money or cognitive ability... depends on what they're after.
It's the "eye candy" that initially entertains every human being's brain. The brain sends signals to the individual's genitals. The genitals send signals to that person's heart that starts beating because it thinks it's "fallen in love" and insists... "Follow your heart."
An ugly face or unattractively unfit body can't catch that kind of attention.
''Men are more visual than women. So while we're focusing on a guy's features, is he relationship material, and does he like us, men are mostly focused on how attractive we are 🤦♀️ ''
Those are the laws of attraction not relationships and testosterone is attracted to fertility... Male wiring in any species tells them to procreate. In the end its personality and then the rest... at least for a relationship
People like who they like! Physical attraction alone is never enough to hold a person’s attention long term... there has to be more substance. E. g. common goals/interests, compatible personality etc. 99.9% of people know this!
If men are shallow for going after physically attractive women, are women also shallow for going after tall guys? Are women shallow for going after guys with high economic status? Are women shallow for going after guys of a certain race or ethnicity?
Not only boys but also girls want her boyfriend to be physically attractive as well... I think physical appearance is the first think you see when you meet a person... I mean you can't know about the person's personality at the first meet... So I think your physical appearance makes the first impression on people... But after getting to know about the person it's different thing... You can then judge them on their personality as well
We're just wired that way. We are collectively working on improving it because we know it pisses women off. Our current mathematical models show that this particular trait of modern men should be bred out of us by the year 1,846,985.
... I don't, why do women go after men with money/potential or looks? Maybe it's a universal to look at the people judge them based on wants and decide if you want them... Im very chritical of personality.
It appears shallow but it is the way we are wired to attract a healthy looking partner to breed with. Just like woman look for providers in the main, security.
All comes back to our cavemen days. Us humans are pretty much on autopilot in life at times - along for the ride.
One thing I’ve noticed is that the standard for men is way different. You often see (conventionally) ugly men with (conventionally) attractive women, but rarely see the opposite. I’m not really sure why..
It's his opinion, it's your opinion. Something that bothers me is when someone else tries to tell me what I should think is attractive or not. I just like what I like and can't help it
Sad that people make judgements about who’s attractive or not. Blind people are the only ones who truly get to know WHO someone is not if they are physically pleasing. Men do it cuz women do it every bit as much. Worse even. Consider this. Average females won’t look twice at someone their friends think are ugly to look at. Not one will approach the guy to bother even knowing his name b4 dismissing him as ugly. Bottom line is the shallow end of the pool is overcrowded👍🏻
That’s just the way it is nowadays unfortunately- however I don’t really care too much about looks since they only get you so far - a kind guy who is okay looking is far more attractive than some dude who just wants to get physical
I don't. I look deeper into them regardless of what they look like. Do the ladies want someone to treat better and show depth of emotion or do they want one to treat them the same as the last one?
"Even they don't look that great themselves"
Ugly guys love the hardest, act the quirkiest and have more depth to their themselves than they may appear. The girl in the first picture must have been sick of the way most men treat her, which is why she chose him instead.
From my experience, ambitious successful guys see women with no job or life as simply a plaything. They want a woman with something going on in her life
1 guys that aren't good looking either have game, money or both. 2 dont even front women like being objectified if they didn't they wouldn't get with guys who treat them like that and if a woman isnot being pursued by men in that way its most likely cuz she is not feminine or has some work to do on herself
You could ask the same about women, most women want a guy who looks really good, but then there are those who only cares about the persons personality. Don't generalize an entire gender because you don't feel confident in your own skin.
I don't believe that even for a second, i thinks it's just somebody who feels uncomfortable in their own skin and has pent up anger by being turned down by someone more physically attractive than they are.
Everyone is looking for something. Think about it - men are visual in how they get turned on, and by today's social norms you can only have one partner from whom you can't stray. So what do men go for?
Question. Why would you date someone who is sexually unattainable, for the sake of a good personality. When you can just be friends with them instead, thus gaining said personality without having to limit yourself to unenjoyable sex?
Exactly. It's important to be with a female that is attractive. At last u nailed it. It's just how we work. That doesn't mean we are stupid and don't adore the world behind your eyes. We value that too. Women are more acoustic...
Can i ask women the same question aren't women so shallow and go only for the rich and good looking. Because from trying approach women it feels like most of them can't hold a conversation and a guy must push them to get answers.
Hypergamy works for both sides. Average girls who find some admirers in social media can't pick among handsome guys in real, while for average guys with wealth and high social is dating like cherry picking.
Some do. Probably a similar percentage compared to women who only go after rich men. Basically, there are shallow people on both sides. Ignore them, and find the good ones
Personally, I generally go after ones that are decently in shape because I'm in shape as well. Fatness can tell a lot about a girl's personality (lack of motivation, laziness)
Both sexes do this stuff. I blame hormones. But I'd rather be with an average person that I get on with rather than a supermodel that I only get off with.
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