Do men talk about women in an objectifying way when women are not around?

Question

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

Sometimes... I suppose it depends on "objectifying." Like I've had all kinds of girls scream at me when they've overheard me saying "she is CUTE." ("Not, Hey sugartits!") I don't know, it depends on the guy and the situation. Like I had a dude come up to me and say some pretty uncomfortable stuff about a friend's sister. At church. At the time, it was almost like "sisters by proxy." I had to warn the guy. I was close to popping him he was being pretty filthy, and he went to church every week, several times a week and played Christian pretty well, usually.

I've had business associates, do this... just go up to me and start talking about some woman. I've had clients... hell, I've had little old ladies do this, while I was working, though. Usually, they're drunk... or almost "permanently" drunk... but not always.

And actually... not as much as you might think. Like, even as much as it's happened... it's not really super common... or at least, not in front of me. But... I've grown up in the church, my parents are older, I grew up with older relatives, so maybe the maturity or the religiousness or whatever just made it not super common. Maybe sometimes high school, but again, usually I hung out with people who weren't really all that obsessed talking like that, even outside of church.

Usually, if we say anything, it's like... "she's gorgeous" or "she's adorable." Or we joke with a friend that "we noticed she called him "Honey" or "she was just using you to get to me (or to make me jealous)." But that's not a huge amount. Like... Ok, she seems cool or nice or sweet, or I like her (usually just "I like her attitude" or "I like how she got you back after you made fun of her." and then we just go back to whatever else is going on. Like the general rule is that if we'd have a problem saying it you your face, we'd probably not talk that way when you're gone (with exceptions).

With my guy friends, little of it is about women (AT ALL) unless we're talking girlfriends or wives or women we'd like to date or something. And then usually guys are a bit more respectful or classy about how they talk about the women they care about.

Now, if I've heard anyone objectifying the other sex, it's mostly women talking about what they'd like to do to some waiter we have or something. And all kinds of women. Church women, too. Not that men don't say that stuff (there are some that do), but a lot of my experience is some girl after a church event (drunk or sober).

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Sometimes, yes, but it's not intended to be offensive. It's much the same as guys making fun of each other and tearing them down and "giving them a hard time" - it's not intended to be taken seriously, and guys generally don't take it seriously. We learn to dish it out and we learn to take it without being offended, and that gives us a sense of humor and prevents us from taking ourselves too seriously. This kind of "locker talk" is just an extension of that.

And even if that "locker talk" is objectifying or misogynistic-sounding, it's rarely intended that way and normally isn't taken that way by other guys.

Girls who have grown up around guys all their lives tend to know this automatically, and aren't offended by "locker talk" because they know it's not serious - and they also can tell the less common times when it IS offensive, and are quick to jump in and call the guy on it - and often, the guy will apologize for crossing the line.

This isn't to suggest that all guys are angels - there are some genuine dickheads and bastards, as well as blowhards - and I'm not apologizing for them - they're assholes and are often REAL misogynists. But most guys who talk this way in the company of other guys don't take it seriously or mean any offense.

sagevalentineee · Accepted Answer

I think it's okay to speak about a person is an objectifying way as long as it's not disrespectful. I also think girls do this just as much as men, and it's quite normal and okay as long as, like I said you remain respectful.

Talking about how attractive a girl is or how nice her butt is... even that okay, I mean I've plenty girls deliberating over men the same way. Unacceptable would be Trumps: 'Grab her by the p*ssy' that's beyond objectifying, that's the opposite of flattering, that's treating a girl like not even like an animal, animals do not do that. I have never really. had an opinion on trump, I could go either way, but hearing that was really shocking to me.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Depends on the men. Some do, some don't.
And it is possible to talk about women in a way that relates to beauty and desire or appreciation of those things, with it still being respectful. I know/have known many like that. The others are pretty easy to spot.

Thomas__Shelby · Answer

That’s a good question.

Men don’t talk about stuff the way women do. They aren’t that personal with each other (unless they are super, super close), they don’t talk about their feelings, and their girls in a sensitive way. Why?
Because men don’t and can’t expect each other to understand their personal feelings and dilemmas. They don’t say “Wow I really like that girl, she has a great personality and we really connect”, he distances himself and says “yeah, she’s hot”.
I could go more in detail but it’s a bit of a long story.

tartaarsaus · Answer

I rarely - if ever - talk about women to male friends. I don't find it an interesting conversation nor do I have any intention of sharing stuff like that with them. Whenever I do talk about women, it's never actually related to something sexual or objectifying. For example, do I ever talk about female bodies to male friends? Nope. Do I ever talk to them about something related to sex? Nope. And I don't talk about them in an objectifying way.

However, I do realize that this is pretty not generalizable to the general population

Apope16 · Answer

Yes they do. And when I was in college i was the best friend and hung around women all the time. What I learned is that women talk about men in an objectifying way as well. We are all sexual creatures and sexually objectify each other. Its in our biology.

divzmaniax · Answer

It's so weird and kind of stupid to objectify anyone. I'm totally against objectifying women and always stand up against people who do so. There only few who do that and consider them superior in some manner. I'm pretty sure that there are more good guys than bad ones.

Cherokeehp · Answer

For sure. Most of my friends are boys, and sometimes they start talking about that stuff right in front of me. It irks the hell out of me. I’ve had to end many friendships because they talked about women so disrespectfully. My really good friends always let me know if anyone talks about me that way.

Lliam · Answer

If "objectifying" means talking about a woman's attractive physical qualities/appearance, then yes.
I also think women talk about attractive men in a similarly "objectifying" way when they are among themselves. I don't see a problem.

nunyabiznes · Answer

Yeah, but when men hang out women are never on our mind. A lot of the time we do it to get away from y’all. If we do, it’s almost always because there’s one pervy guy who objectifies every woman and we just join it. Otherwise, you’re not really on our minds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anpu23 · Answer

Guys talk in generalities, not details. So did you see so and so?
You mean the one with the big tits?
Yah...
What about her?
She's hot...
Yup...
-change if subject to some other non related conversation-
Is that objectification? Probably, but then again, it's also just talk. Somehow guys sexuality has become evil... I don't understand why guys can't relate to the world in a natural way for them.

Unit1 · Answer

Do these count? "She has this huge tits!"  ( ʘ Y  ʘ ) "Her tits are positioned like this ( on opposing sides ) when she's lying on the bed" "She has such smooth skin" "Girls are beautiful"

AynonOMouse · Answer

In my experience, very few actually do that. Women co workers have done it a little more IRL from what I have seen, but it is close to an even amount. Where I work now is actually the very first place that I have seen my male co workers talk that way, but every single place I have worked before there was always some women workers that talked that way about guys. The reason I said it was close is because the few guys that DO do that seem to do it a lot, not just occasionally.

ColHathi · Answer

Some do. I know I do. Not about every woman, and not about anyone I know personally, and I don't go "I'd like to do this and this to/with her". Just whether she, or certain parts of her are particularly attractive. And it depends on the situation ofc. ... Honestly, thinking about it, whenever it does happen it's only ever really about fictional characters from movies or video games.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

To an extent. At this point in my life I mostly here things like, "My wife finally gave me a blow job. It's been 4 years since she's done that" "Did you see so in so's shirt today. She did those titties justice" But that's maybe 1% of the overall conversation when women aren't around. We mostly just talk shit to each other. Thats 90% of our conversations.

hellacray · Answer

Umm I make fun of specific women.

Like cardi b I can't stand her voice and her music. Like I don't even know how she got any awards at all.

And to be fair a lot of female celebs do a pretty good job objectifying themselves, so... There's really not much for me to do besides make fun of them.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

No because a lot more important topics pop into mind. Video games, sports, careers, places we been to, people we have seen, the crazy stuff that happens in our lives and the only time an attractive girl would come up in our conversation we would say that she’s attractive or hot. The subject of boobs, pussy or ass never comes up in fact it’s usually the women who wanted in on our adventures who joke about that stuff.

ATLAS-1 · Answer

No contrary to what your media sources may tell you we do value women as people and don't wait around until they leave to talk about what we want to do to them. Just a silly caricature of a man that the media just injected into young girls.

Stoner710 · Answer

Sometimes but most of the time we’re talking politics and philosophy. But then again I’m pretty sure women talk about men the same way sometimes you should hear some of the conversations I heard about Taylor Lautner and Channing Tatum

SlightlyEccentric · Answer

Yes we do and were not sorry for it. We know women do the same shit about guys. Jesus women objectify men on live tv nowadays and are completely oblivious to their own hypocrisym

likelyOK · Answer

I think it depends on their age if they still locker room talk. Also what the man is like, if he and his group are pigs they will but I think a number of men stop talking like that after college age.

AlameenAbdulrahman · Answer

Objectifying a gender on it's own is wrong and we all know it, it's deregatory. Sure there are good guys and there are bad guys, the same goes with women. When good guys go into conversations about women they will definitely talk about her with respect. If you keep a bunch of proud, selfish, misguided perverts then you should definitely expect a wacko conversation about girls, nasty and all. You do get the point right!

Anonymous · Answer

Women do too now. Hang out on a Kpop fan Facebook page and well it gets wild.

Anonymous · Answer

I'll just say no.

It depends on how you define "objectify", but taking a looser definition of objectification also makes it harmless.

So you can say either that "no there's no objectification", or you can "yes there is some, but it's not a bad thing".

Basically, the answer is: Sorry, but guys aren't doing anything wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

I certainly know women talk about men in a objectifying way when men aren't around. I went to a trade school that was 99% female and they would gather around in the break room forgetting I was even in there. And they spilled their guts on things like how to go about screwing over men. To my recollection not a single one of them were in the same relationship or remained married to the same person after they left that school.

Xavier_777 · Answer

I think it would be cool if I could talk to a girl about girls like that like if she was lesbian but yes guys think girls are hot and we'll talk about it or like how they would want to smash

worldscolide · Answer

Just like men, Women do the same thing to men, weather or not they choose to admit it... Here is the rub though.. Not all men do that... Just like not all women.. Its just some of them that do it..

BeMuse · Answer

How you behave influences how you are viewed. If you act like a piece of meat, people will talk about you like one.

whitehide · Answer

Sometimes I do. But I never think or talk of anyone as just a sexual object. If a woman has a beautiful body, then I'm sure it and other stuff will be talked about by someone sometimes, just like it is if a man has a beautiful body.

bluehen46 · Answer

I would say most. Not all guys and they do not talk that way about all women. I would not talk about kinky stuff the wife and i do the way i would some of my friends with benfits i have had.

SkipStop · Answer

Some do. But the conversations are usually short. A few sentences and move to the next topic. I know that girls go into great detail when talking about men.

grega239 · Answer

No. Any conversation about women I've gmhad with my guy friends lasted about 30 seconds. "That chick is nice," "Yea , I'd tap that in a second" "So anyways, blah blah blah" That about it

Bananaman177 · Answer

Women are way worse about objectifying men when they talk about them behind their backs.  "Rules for thee, not for me."

Liadon · Answer

Sometimes, yes. But its only certain types of people that do it, and they tend to be the way more immature type that doesn't respect many people at all generally.

David92506 · Answer

I believe that most men talk about women objectively, but not 100% of the time. When a person is with a best friend, it's nice to vent.

ovixs90 · Answer

Some do but dont imagine if a co worker or some female passes by men have nothing else to talk to only how hot she is. I heard how girls that I studied with all the time spoke how hot seminarias look and how they want to lead them astray.😂

tiajoka · Answer

Yeah, but I also talk about women with these men; and about men with other women or men. Just called being a young person who is attracted to attractive people.
Though most the time I'm just trying to be funny or flirty about it.

hsshannah96 · Answer

Guys on this app are misogynistic pricks first off  so they’re all going to say yes

FakeName123 · Answer

From my experience women drastically overrated their importance among guys. If anything, women talk A LOT more about guys than vice versa.

ManOnFire · Answer

We certainly do. Isn't it better to do it while you're not around?

MyHonest2Cents · Answer

Both gender do it, admitting or not is another story.

StephenCF · Answer

From my experience, generally yes. A lot of filthy jokes about them too, as well as sexual graffiti about some of them in our lavatories 😅

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

Yes, and women also talk about men like that. Look at fans of any famous male groups

lightbulb27 · Answer

men do not, boys do. boys can be quite old in years sometimes.  In general, no they don't.

geonator · Answer

Depends on the guys. There are the ones out there that definitely do. Young guys like in their adolescent years, I'd say most of them have at some point, but I'd say with adult guys it's the minority

Silver158 · Answer

yeah but it's more like "she's hot" or "would hit that" in that kinda vein really. I know for a fact women do this as well and then some, had a female friend who would check out tall guys and be like "wonder if he's all in proportion". So...

yucychan · Answer

I believe so. Just as women talk about men in an objectifying way when men are not around.

LightlySaltedSeal · Answer

Everybody speaks about the opposite gender when they are with da boys.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Some do, but majority of the time that's not what we talk about.

BlackWidow93 · Answer

I feel like they probably do and that's wives and women coworkers aren't invited to their guys nights at the bar

AmtgardJean · Answer

Not much more than women do about men. Granted If I think someone is attractive I'll just say it in front of her too.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Some do. I’ve heard guys talk about girls in disgusting ways tbh. But it’s the immature ones who do it most

MountAverage · Answer

Everybody talks about everybody in objectifying ways when they're not around. Not sure why you think only men would do that.

abc3643 · Answer

We do when we are young - and even when we're not young - JUST LIKE WOMEN DO.

AlongCameCindy · Answer

Yes/some do, I mean girls can talk about guys that way too though.

BruceJender · Answer

Most men have and will at some point in their lives.  Also, if by “objectifying” you been talking about how hot a girl is, there’s nothing remotely wrong with that.

Alice2398 · Answer

No, most guys i know will talk about women in an objectifying way right in front of them

Pappy1955 · Answer

Actukkay both sexs do it when the other sex uan't around ut's called HUman Nature

Anonymous · Answer

I personally do not. I don’t enjoy talking about women that way. Of course I can admire their looks but I won’t talk about them as objects behind their back.

Torari · Answer

Yes. Men view women as sexual objects (as well as people). Its just 2 different parts of our brains having their own ways of interpreting the world.  Men view women in

robertKugler · Answer

Yes I guess we do... but I'm most cases it's not a bad thing. think of it as slang.. guy talk.. most of it is BS.. primitive macho.. shit.. that's all. Rather silly to be offended by it.

genericname85 · Answer

of course they do. and women speak the same way about men.

TwoToTooTutu2 · Answer

No, we talk about what Military would win in a war over another or other general man things.

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