Why would my boyfriend be hiding his phone all the time?

Question

So I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, everything has been good. Nothing to worry about honestly, but something that bothers me is how secretive he is with his phone. He takes it to the bathroom/shower always. He has a password on his phone and I don't know it. He is guarding his phone like its his life. I'm so confused, worried and angry how possessive he gets about his cellphone. He swears nothing is on it. He gets mad at me and saying I don't trust him when I ask about it. If I even look at his phone screen slightly he gets mad at me. What is this about? I don't actually believe he could be cheating we are together all the time. but not living together so I don't know. He did just delete the Tinder app, I made him delete it after all this time.
What's the deal here?

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

The fact that he still had Tinder AND is so possessive over his phone doesn't look good, unfortunately.

However, it could be something as minor as having something embarrassing he watches on his phone as somebody else said, or he could just be an extremely private person. I'd ask him what his deal is.

To be honest, it bothers me when people stare at my phone while I'm on it even if I have nothing to hide, though I've had a bit of a hobby for years that I'm a bit ashamed of where I like to categorize things into detailed lists from memory, which I tend to do on my phone when my imagination is at work. It's very innocent, but it's abnormal and makes me feel a bit like a freak, lol. I'm not sure that something like this is the norm for such possessive and secretive behavior, though.

diamond567 · Accepted Answer

If your instinct tells you something is wrong then there’s a big chance something is wrong so try finding out what it is. He might be cheating, men do that type of stuff, I was talking to a guy a long time ago and I actually found out he had a wife and a baby and he was using his phone and I am sure he wouldn’t let his wife check it, before that incident in the past there were guys who would talk to me and then few days later ghost me and it’s because I found they had girlfriends. So my point is try getting to the bottom of it, if your gut is saying there is something wrong then there is something wrong.

admles · Accepted Answer

Generally, I'm of the opinion that people have a right to privacy, and couples shouldn't share passwords unless they both decide they want to. Privacy has to be respected, after all. I never share my passwords with anyone, no one is allowed to read my messages and conversations but me. If I show someone a photo on my phone, they are not allowed to swipe and look through my pics.

But, his defensive behaviour clearly indicates there is something wrong. It could be something minor, it could be anything really. The only thing to do here is sit down and have a calm, rational talk and tell him how it makes you feel. Don't give ultimatums - use "I statements" - "I feel" "I believe" so it doesn't seem like you're attacking him.

If he isn't forthcoming, you need to end it with him.

Adam1978 · Accepted Answer

You could be the cause of this behavior. Why is you so obsessed with his phone. If I would notice that I wouldn't leave it around either and make sure it locked and encrypted. Not because I have something to hide more of a principle, it my device and my privacy. You shall not have access if it means having the phone with me all the time you are around so be it.

dmvgirl16 · Answer

The deal here is that I understand u can be worried if ur boyfriend is always with his phone but u do not think its cheating but I think u should trust him because one if your boyfriend deleted an app that u told him to delete then obviously your boyfriend wants only u and I do not think your boyfriend would cheat on you if he deleted the app u told him to but I suggest not checking his phone because I know that your boyfriend would tell you if he was cheating but like u said u do not think so well then trust him and I know he will love u more if U do not check his phone because in a relationship trust and communication is key

UnStealthyNinja · Answer

Okay this one gets me, phones are personal. They are very included in day to day life. So not being given access to his phone in my opinion isn't a big thing.

I personally do not like my girlfriend on my phone but I don't like anyone on it. Its just a weird itch I get. So he may just be a more aggressive version of that.

That said, I would talk it out with your boyfriend because I still always try to ensure that my girlfriend knows I am not up to something. I had a talk and added her fingerprint as a trust thing.

Please don't try and spy or break into it, thats a breach of personal space. But be frank and say your worried and seriously consider the response. If its something you cannot handle you need to consider that your relationship might not be working and that there are underlying issues.

Anonymous · Answer

Its possible he is cheating.. But on that same token you need to know that code locking a phone and keeping it with him is not always a bad thing. I work for an IT firm that deals with government stuff. My phone is code locked because it is company property, I dont let my wife have access to it, nor do i give her the passwords or have possession of it. Giving her any kind of access to my phone would result in my termination from the company, and a prison sentence for letting her have access to information she is legally not supposed to have.

Anpu23 · Answer

A couple of posibilities.
One is that he has private information on it for work. Someone like an attorney or law enforcement or even investment broker or insurance broker may have information that they must keep private for legal reasons.
Another is he's just a private person.
Lastly he may be speaking with other women, or perhaps men...

Anonymous · Answer

he's cheating because why would he be hiding it for so much and getting so mad? Usually when someone gets mad is because they are getting caught and trying to avoid it in any way possible. If he had real loyalty, he'd have no problem even showing you his phone or whats on the screen. I wouldn't stay with him if he can't be honest

donnny2367764 · Answer

If your not living together expect/assume anything is possible... but if you are living together and he is still very touchy about his cell phone being held or looked into then by all means walk away and find someone else who won't make you feel like this

Arjunaguy · Answer

When people usually hide their phone it means they have things in there that they don't want you to seem. Maybe he doesn't trust you enough to share it or in most cases they have another person they are seeing and don't want you to know. These seem like the possible answers I can think of.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

He just deleted tinder and you have been with him 3 years that doesn't add up...

Beinghappy6815 · Answer

He is sexting other women. Guaranteed... either, you ignore it and enjoy what you have with him and this is an accepted part of your relationship or you talk to him and ask him why he hides his phone and tell him what you expect out of your relationship.

cute_short_nerd · Answer

Can he not talk to de boys in peace? Like, if you don’t want him looking through your messages and conversations 24/7 like give him the same respect.

Anonymous · Answer

Ooh, something’s up. I don’t suggest you try to see it behind his back, but you should confront him. Tell him to let you go through or else that means he’s hiding something. If he doesn’t let you, then you’ll have your answer.

girlzruleboyzdrool · Answer

I know my guys phone password and he knows mine We swap phones even... I'd have a sit down I think deep down you know So you need to be mentally prepared for what's going to happen

MzAsh · Answer

I’d got rid of someone looking at my phone 1st time. If you don’t trust him, don’t be with him. And text time do not look at their phone.

richardsnarky · Answer

Sis, it’s probably not because he’s planning a surprise party for you. He’s probably fooling around with other her women.

Unit1 · Answer

Don't care about the password lock but the way he gets upset over this phone (even after 3 years) and you is suspicious enough to break the relationship.

loveslongnails · Answer

If he wasn't hiding "something", it wouldn't be such a big deal. It's either that or he has some real privacy issues, but I think he's got a secret or two. The question is, if you're happy in your relationship, is it worth trying to find out?

mefirst2000 · Answer

Men are capable of living many things in life as well as more than one woman. And no that doesn't mean that he is sleeping around. This oppinon is based on my life as a male and in no way intended to irritate or trouble ur relationship

spartan55 · Answer

The deal is: if you don't trust him, then break up.

Samtheman_ · Answer

Man, it super annoys me when I have someone look over my shoulder at my device. I feel like my privacy is being invaded.

Agape93 · Answer

He probably has a side chick and is hiding it from you

Why would my boyfriend be hiding his phone all the time?

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