How do I make HIM feel appreciated?

[Anonymous]

It seems like the more I try the less he cares... Anytime we bicker/argue he always brings up that what he does is never enough or that what he does do is undervalued. I say thank you, use the things he gives me or place my gifts he gives me in obvious places that I get to see them as does he. I try complimenting him and they get dismissed or he says I'm acting weird or in turn try paying for food or gifts and he gets offended because he doesn't see it as my place to do so... I'm at a loss. Can anyone suggest some helpful tips...

[dustinisaking]

I'd say just keep putting in effort everything you've been doing is the right things to do i could just be him that he's having problems at work or just in life and he doesn't love himself rn so he can't love someone else either just make more one on one time with him just turn off both your phones and ignore the world stay at home and watch his favorite movies or shows and order or cook his favorite food and just spend the night together having fun and really talking and listening to eachother

[Asker]

He stays on his phone and I ask for quality time more than quantity... he just says I'm asking too much of him...

[dustinisaking]

Yeah then im sorry to be the one to tell you this but he's starting to push away from you and there's not much you can do on your end he wants to end things with you

[Asker]

Okay, so if that's the case then why are we still together? I've told him if he wants to leave then not to hesitate because I don't want either of us wasting our time if we could be with better fit people...

[dustinisaking]

He's scared to leave you he's unhappy now but he's also scared to be without you, your in a toxuc relationship and your the only one that can decide whether to keep putting effort into in or end it all and move on

[Anonymous]

I'm always amazed that an entire gender, who claim to be so emotionally intelligent and are so sensitive to every little nuance of a gesture, just can't seem to figure out how to convey gratitude to a man.

Its almost like women are completely self-centered and mostly full of shit.

[Asker]

Okay then from your point of view help me understand that. I ask him what he wants he shrugs and doesn't have an answer, I give him compliments and he brushes them off and makes it seem like it's weird to be told he's funny or smart or handsome. I give him sexual favors not asked and he just takes it then doesn't want anything to do with after care. He sits on his phone all the time, goes out with friends/family and constantly complains he's tired so I try to ease his mind by watching shows he wants to, doing activities he wants or just simply sleeping it off and he still complains that everything isn't good enough or he doesn't get to do anything he wants? So where am I going wrong?

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds to me like he's feeling smothered. I don't know how introverted/extraverted he is, but it sounds like he could use a proper vacation.

How long has it been since he was able to go and do something he enjoys without any... supervision?

[Asker]

As often as he likes, all I ask is to communicate what's going on so I'm not waiting up for him or being too invasive of his personal time. Just as he asks of me. He just makes it seem like if I send him a text or call him at all that I'm blowing his shit up but if I completely leave him be then I'm being too distant or not informative enough to his liking. So it's just a major conflict... I literally feel like I do nothing right for him.

[Opinion Owner]

No, I meant actually go do something he enjoys. Get away for a while. A camping or fishing weekend. A road trip. Something where he can get away from the constant obligations and expectations of day-to-day life. Not going out for beers with his buddies on Thursdays.

[Asker]

I've suggested it several times over the last year to have mini vacations. We went camping last year and since then I've asked if he wants to do that again even without me and he just shrugs and says he'd rather us go together but it's too much money or there isn't time... he went on a fishing trip with his friends a month ago and just said it was a waste of time and not pleasant at all. So again I don't know what more to do or even not to do...

[standingUP]

Helpful hints? Get a real man who is secure in his head. Way to sensitive and emotional for a guy to act like this. This is what immature women do. No guy should EVER act like this EVER !

[iamallenvee]

This is something that's sure to work. Disappear for a few days without saying anything before that. Go incognito for a week or a month and come back. He'll realise while you're not there how he took you for granted and he'll start appreciating you more

[sensible27]

Be meaningful, people can detect when you are being genuine and actually feel that way than just saying it as a chore.. feel appreciated and be appreciated are different things...

[Anonymous]

Just ask him what he wants for you to do. Maybe it's something very simple. Hard to say.

[Asker]

I have and he just shrugs his shoulders and says I'm too in my head about things because "we're fine."

[Opinion Owner]

He sounds like a difficult person. Is he right though that it's all in your head

[Asker]

I mean if that's the case then why is it brought up often?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know sorry but I can't read him. He sounds like an annoying boyfriend to me. Not sure how I can help.

[White_pearl]

Suck his dick till it's fallen off.

[chriscdi]

leave this coon and find someone else? 🤷🏽‍♂️

[Fuentes]

Get on your knees