Should I accept his way of showing gratitude?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

In China, average salaries start from 800-1000 USD for the local people,

tipping is not accepted and I rarely tip. A few times, I’ve tried, people have felt very uncomfortable to accept and some have said their company wouldn’t allow to accept it and they can’t take it. So it’s a big deal when people tip here and happens rarely.

I don’t tip either, it’s not part of their culture.

However, there have been some instances when I have tipped,

Today, I ordered a meal and the heavy rain started, the courier called me saying that he was sorry but he’d be late, he was 1.5 hours later, he was all wet.

He was at the age of my grandpa and it made me feel sad thinking that he had to get so wet to bring me a meal… Had it been my grandpa I’d not want him to get so wet and work in such a bad weather.

Plus, he must have felt nervous knowing he was delivering late. I wanted to compensate for him working in such a bad weather and also wanted him to think that I don’t mind him being late and It wasn’t worth being nervous.

So, I gave him the cash I quickly found in my bag, about 100$ equivalent of RMB, as I had cash and I didn’t use it. I didn’t think he’d be that happy, but seems like it’s so rare in China to be tipped that they feel very surprised and happy.

He messaged me that he will deliver cookies at my home tomorrow, as a way to say “thank you so much”.

That’s so sweet of him, it melt my heart, but I would like him to use money for himself. It’s not much, I wouldn’t like him to spend it to buy cookies for me, I would rather him buy cookies for his grandchildren.

I don’t know what to tell him, I would wish he wouldn’t feel obliged to bring me cookies.

How should I respond politely? Should I accept the cookies to make him feel good or should I tell him I wouldn’t like to disturb him and I am already very thankful to him for bringing me a meal in such a heavy rain?

Updates

10 mo

Any ideas? I don’t want to make him wait too long to answer , I think I’ll go with this
“ Please, don’t disturb. I am already very thankful to you for bringing me a meal in such a heavy rain.”

[Raaj4you]

No, don't. Tell him that I already have it, you must give it your wife and kids. Your first priority should be your wife and kids.

I don't cook food. I order food online daily. In India, food delivery boys openly accept any amount of tips. Some ask for tip and some don't. You know India has a huge population, a big unemployment problem and they all work on low wages. So I don't hesitate to tip anyone. Everyone has dependent family members. Especially when they deliver food on a rainy day, I tip more.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, China is not similar, here I have had some people politely decline to take a tip from me.

[Raaj4you]

Oh! Ok. Only some people decline here. Even if they say no, I tip them.

[Raaj4you]

Thanks for MHO😘

[molonski2]

In my time in China ( and you obviously know far better than I ) it would be rude not to accept the cookies when he has gone to that trouble? Look , I see it like this , its not either / or , he obviously really wants to give them , I would just accept and be grateful.

Your actions were very nice.

[Red-Blaze]

Accept the cookies
He likely feel better about it
If its not in the colture then doing it may feel really odd for him
Giving the cookies may help him relax about it and feel more coftruble about it all

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep, I was thinking that too but already messaged him that I wouldn’t want to bother him and that I already feel very thankful for him to deliver me the meal in such a heavy rain and a “thank you”.

[Red-Blaze]

Alright :) well hope that worked out well

[Lliam]

When he brings the cookies, tell him that it was unnecessary, but accept them graciously. Do not reject his kindness.
Accepting his token of gratitude may satisfy his sense of honor.

[mommymommymommy]

If you don't tip here in the u. s., they get PISSED

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not in the US

[mommymommymommy]

Don't, lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yeah, I feel perfectly fine where I am.

[mommymommymommy]

good

[Friendlybro79]

I say accept the cookies. He's an older gentleman and it might make him feel uncomfortable to not do something for you in return based on the cultural norms you explained. Your heart is in the right place and more people should be as thoughtful as you're being right now.

That said, it's not the norm, so take the cookie and give him something you both can give each other. A hug lol. Unless that's a big no no of course. I'm not familiar with the local customs.

[AviatorTom]

A simple verbal Thank You would be fine. If you do much more, he will be obligated to follow-up with something.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Just messaged him 5 minutes ago - thank you for bringing me a meal in such a heavy rain and please don’t bother bringing cookies, I am already very thankful.

[Raperonzolo_Viv]

That seems fine:)

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think @Red-Blaze nailed it. You kinda should have taken the cookies. Invite him in and share them. Make some tea. Talk to him.

[Red-Blaze]

Thanks

[glennos89]

Just accept the cookies and let him show his gratitude for your kindness. It will probably make him feel good

[peedy]

I you don't you have to except it from someone else,
Just because its different from the way you do it or than you are used to doesn't mean its wrong only different he still showing it isn't he

[Christoff92]

Sure. For a kind old man put a lot of gratitude in delivering your food. Good samitarians are known for a reason 😊

[justabuddy]

I usually tell him politely that's it's ok a couple of times and if sed person is persistent than I except. That way it's not an insulti if I don't except.

[Anonymous]

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