Is he playing me on SnapChat?

[Anonymous]

There’s a kid (15) who I snapped for 2 days. We talked & he seemed cool/nice. I met him over snap. One of the first things he asked me was how old I am/what I look like. Last night, he snapped me & asked if I was alone & I said yeah. He snapped me again & asked if I have ever dated before, had kissed anyone or done anything “dirty”, & if I have ever sent any “dirty pics” & I said no & he said he did. 1 hour later, I asked him if he cared I thought he was cute. he said “It doesn’t matter, I’d like to see more of you though”. I was like “wdym” & he said “more of your body” with a pic of his abs. I said “what do you wanna see?” He said “Your butt maybe” I said that I didn’t feel comfortable & wanted to get to know him more. He said “this could help us get to know each other”. I said “maybe if we started dating”. I asked later if he would consider dating over snap. he said “maybe” so I said “would you date me?” & he said “yeah”. So I was like “so are we dating now” he said we aren’t dating yet” so I said “ok?” He said “I would date you in the future” so I asked how long & he said “maybe like a month”. So I thought, sweet this boy wants to date me but just wants to wait a little bit. Well today I snapped him & he left me on opened. So I snapped him & said “ok I’m confused, you are leaving me on opened & you said yesterday you would date me. We went back & forth (he was saying that he never said that & that I was making it up. I was saying that he did say that & it came from his snap). The last thing he said was “you’re such a liar” then he unfollowed me on snap. Why did he just all of a sudden unfollow me, & why is he denying those things? I also snapped his brother & asked what was going on, & his brother said that he had no idea, he was shocked that his brother would do that & didn’t expect that from him, & apologized for his brother being disrespectful. How can I maybe work things out with him, & at least get him to add me back & be friends?

[Kas19]

Hi, my sister is your age. If I found out a boy was talking to her like that, I'd quite literally want to kick his ass. He doesn't care about you, and he isn't respecting your comfortability. Please don't talk to him any further. If you need anything, you can shoot me a message. Boys a that age usually only want one thing from you. He seems emotionally manipulative. If it feels wrong, don't pursue. Listen to your gut.

[missrudi]

Honestly, I wouldn’t advise talking to him or having him re-add you on Snap. It’s rude and disrespectful that he would want a butt picture from you, rather than wanting to get to know you. Obviously he has some real maturing to do if he every seriously desires a relationship.

[Asker]

Do you have any idea why he would lead me on like that last night, only to deny everything he said last night?

[missrudi]

I’m not sure why he led you on. It may be possibly that he had an issue with you not sending the pic of your butt. Some guys are assholes when they don’t get what they want. He knows exactly what he said and did last night. Kudos to your for not sending the butt picture. Besides, if his freaky ass want to see booty he can get on the internet and leave folks out of his nonsense.

[Asker]

Why didn’t he just admit it then instead of saying I was a liar and making that up? Like I’m not stupid, I know who I was snapping 😂

[missrudi]

Maybe it’s in his character to be dishonest. Some people get a kick out lying. You deserve way better than a cornball of a dude that can’t be truthful.

[CindersFire]

Yes, obviously yes. There is literally no part of your story that doesn't scream it. An immediate interest in your sexual past, an overt interest in your body, being non-commital, and a disregard for your desires/ interests.

[Asker]

Ok thanks for your opinion. Is there any way I could maybe be friends with him or straighten this out? His brother said he is a good kid, and he is a Christian.

[CindersFire]

Why do you want you want to be friends with him? I understand your young, but you're gonna meet a lot of people during you life who simply aren't worth your time and it seems to me he is one. Additionally, him being a christian only makes it worse as I believe that we should be held to a higher standard based off our beliefs.

[Asker]

I just thought he was nice and cool to talk to as friends. And the Christian thing, I agree 100% with you. And that is also why I wondered if maybe it wasn’t him, and was a friend, or maybe he just wasn’t thinking about what he was doing, and didn’t think “Hey, I shouldn’t be doing this, this isn’t right”

[OlderAndWiser]

Why would you want to be friends with someone who is a shallow user?

[Asker]

I don’t know. I guess part of me wonders if it was maybe his friends that got ahold of his phone and was sending those. It just doesn’t make sense and I guess I want to give him the benefit of the doubt

[Gwenhwyfar]

Because he’s disappointed you don’t send nudes

I’m sorry girl

[Asker]

Do you have any idea as to why he would say he would date me and “lead me on” like he did last night, only to deny it all this morning? Is it possible that maybe he realized what he was doing last night, and felt guilty, and didn’t want to admit it?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Possible. Equally possible he lost interest when he realized you weren’t gonna send nudes.

[Asker]

Ok thanks. What do you recommend I do from now on out? Because I still snap his older brother, and he seems really nice and like he knows how to respect girls

[Gwenhwyfar]

Talk to his older brother instead

[Asker]

Ok. I’m 15 and he is going to be 18 though but I think we are sort of friends. I asked his brother is he wouldn’t mind talking to him and asking him what happened and why he did that. I didn’t do it for myself, I want to make sure he knows how to treat girls with respect and not manipulate them like he did me.

[Gwenhwyfar]

You did the right thing

And I’m glad you didn’t let him manipulate you

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice. It is really sickening to me, the way boys treat girls nowadays. They treat them like objects, which is wrong on so many levels. I just hope his brother is able to talk to him, and teach him how to treat girls with more respect

[Gwenhwyfar]

Really sickening

I hope so too