Is he playing me?

[Anonymous]

Not sure if I'm being naive or not. I recently told my long term boyfriend we should break up if he doesn't plan on proposing. He's saying he was planning on doing it sometime between now and May. But he still seems hesitant even though he's telling me he's ready.

[kylee2437]

Forcing a man to put a ring on your finger is going to push him away from doing exactly that. Why would you want to marry someone you think is playing you in the first place? Are you even proving to him at all that you would be a great wife? Doesn’t seem like it to me.

[Asker]

I'm not forcing him. I told him he has an out if its not what he wants. There's no way you can determine if I'm "proving" to him I wouldn't be a great wife from this question

[kylee2437]

@asker I’m sorry you can’t accept the truth but giving ultimatums is forcing. And I can’t determine that, however that is a question you need to ask yourself because you wanting to be a wife doesn’t mean you are deserving of being that

[Guy13]

Your word choice is horrific. Hope you did not say break-up. That would be it for me…a girl that breaks up as threat or when don’t get what want.

I think we need some time to think through what we want. This is NOT a break-up…just some space for BOTH of us to reflect on the realities of you and I

[Asker]

It wasn't as a threat. We're going on about 6 years and have had several talks about it. He convinced me to not break up saying he's planning on doing it soon so I'm giving him more time. Like he asked for

[Guy13]

Great ‼️ I hope it works out for you too.

[Adam1978]

If you said that you deserve a breakup not a proposal. You clearly don't love the guy.

[Asker]

I love him, just not enough to wait for an indeterminate amount of time when it's already been about 6 years

[Adam1978]

For a pointless ceremony? You release that marriage doesn't change a thing right. Just tie you to the state and perhaps the church. So unless your plan is to break the marriage it doesn't actually change anything you can't do with lawyers and a will.

[kylee2437]

@asker then you don’t deserve a marriage if you don’t love him that much. Think about your choice of words and try to reason why he may have not thought about putting a ring on your finger