Why he goes cold after sex?

[Anonymous]

After we have sex he just goes cold. Not a lot of communication. Unlike the usual, which is checking on me frequently, texts and calls. Does he need space? Or is he just being an ass. I can’t decide but it’s bothering me so much. What do I do? What’s going on?

Updates

+1 y

Yea that’s the problem. He would not say all these thing. If he did it’d be easy for me to just leave him. I brought this up before and he was like, I didn’t mean to and I love you and am sorry. But I still feel that he doesn’t understand... and I don’t want to need to say that I want his care and attention every time we have sex. It’d be much easier if he just get it by himself. Apparently he doesn’t , and it’s exhausting. Anyways thank you for your helpful answer 💜

[Anonymous]

I feel like that behavior in the beginning is more novelty. But after a few months (sometimes even sooner) it’s not surprising for that effort to fizzle out. Doesn’t mean that he’s not attracted to you, he just doesn’t feel the need to go that extra mile. It’s really annoying but it’s a tale as old as time.

[Asker]

I hate the idea that he only cares when there’s a possibility of sex. Why does it have to be like that.

[Opinion Owner]

If that’s the direction things are going, like drifting off into a situationship or a friends with benefits, then yeah I would hate that too, especially if you’re the type to want a relationship or dating and not a hookup. Maybe you should have a chat with him, nothing serious but just to ask him what his intentions are for you. If he has some dumbass excuse, like “I’m just taking things slow” “I’m not sure what I want yet” “just going with the flow and see what happens” etc etc, those are usually just an excuse for him to keep using you and dragging his feet about committing.

[Asker]

Yea that’s the problem. He would not say all these thing. If he did it’d be easy for me to just leave him. I brought this up before and he was like, I didn’t mean to and I love you and am sorry. But I still feel that he doesn’t understand... and I don’t want to need to say that I want his care and attention every time we have sex. It’d be much easier if he just get it by himself. Apparently he doesn’t , and it’s exhausting. Anyways thank you for your helpful answer 💜

[Opinion Owner]

Gosh, I’m sorry. We’ll actions speak louder than words, so regardless of what he says, if he doesn’t back it up with actions then it’s pointless for him to even waste his breathe because you can see what’s really going on. I’ve been in your shoes before and I’m sorry you even have to be in this position. Also no worries, I wish you luck in resolving this💛

[jmr2191]

Sex is a very intense activity for guys. Once the adrenaline wears off, the body needs time to recover. It's a novelty in the very beginning, which means he's more interested in the post-sex 'quality time.' That wears down. It has nothing to do with you personally. Guys and girls are different. Physiologically and socially.