How long does it take a man to get over failing to protect a loved one from harm?

[Anonymous]

I've heard several cases where this has happened and many times he won't let it go even when it wasn't his fault. It seems he's not only impacted but so is his ego, pride too. We get affected too but it seems the guy takes it even much more personal.

For instance my friend is one case. Even though he finally came to terms with the outcome, certain times he still has some guilt over it. He got beaten and he couldn't do nothing when his younger sister got raped.

Seriously, if the guy couldn't protect a loved one from harm... how long does it take him to finally move on from that? To fully recover and no longer think so badly of himself?

Updates

+1 y

He seemed to be more impacted than his sister. The girl already received help long ago and was able to move on from that terrible event. She never once blamed him. Meanwhile my friend took much longer to recover. He used to think low of himself. He developed low self-esteem and low confidence at the time.

[johnsmithjs]

The answer is never, if a real man feels that he was not capable of protecting his family, he will NEVER get over it. There are way to help, for example if someone raped my sister they would not be alive to tell the tale. I may not have prevented it but the bastard will never do it agian.

[Anonymous]

Failing to protect a loved one, and feeling bad about it, lasts a life time. It does get to where it hurts less, but it never entirely goes away. It's like a death of a loved one, in that sense.

[Asker]

The sad part is that my friend's sister never blamed him. She knew he tried to protect her but couldn't. She was able to recover through help and therapy and has moved on but he was a different case. He took so long to recover. He seemed more affected than her.

[Anonymous]

There is no way to answer this question because every man is different and every situation is different.

[Asker]

Yes indeed. My friend still believes he failed.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes indeed what?

[Yamama]

How long does it take you to realize that every man is different?

[Pterodon]

Depends on depth of feelings involved

[Asker]

True. In my friend's case, his sister recovered from what happened but he couldn't get over not being able to protect her. He took it so deeply and personal that he thought lowly of himself for the longest.