He seems to purposely stay away. Why would a guy act this way?

[TicTac]

He knows I use to like him and I think he use to like me.

I am trying to decipher his strange behavior. There will be a week or two where it seems he is avoiding me. I say this because I won't see him at all, even though we work in same office and I know he is in. Then the next week or two he will be around and go out of his way to come to where I am, wave at me, make conversation and even at times seems like he can't stay away and I will see him coming around several times within same day even.

Then the next week or two we are back to nothing, and this pattern keeps repeating.

Usually most guys I have dealt with are pretty straightforward in showing that they either like you or they don't, whereas this guy seems like he can't stay away and then next thing you know he seems to purposely stay away. I have never seen such an extreme.

Why would a guy act this way?

[steve1122]

I suspect he is using you as his fall back position. When he is hanging around you and giving you signals, it's because his dating life at that time is pretty lean. When he disappears, it's because he is seeing somebody, and he does not need you for a while.

If you are interested, track him down at work during one of the times he has "disappeared" and ask him for coffee in the cafeteria or breakroom. This shouldn't be difficult, since you already know each other and work in the same office. If he won't do that, don't waste any more of your time with him. If he does, then admit to him that you asked because you find him attractive and you suspect he likes you too- it's not as hard as you think, since you are both adults. Explain to him that you need a clear answer because although he might be your first choice, you do have other options and don't want to be kept waiting around. Good luck!

[TicTac]

Yeah, I kind of wondered if I was possibly the Plan B or he is sowing his oats, as I am more the settle down type. Actually he had a girlfriend last I heard, so I wondered if he was coming around maybe when he hits a rough patch with her. This happens a lot though. I am actually kind of fed up with what seems like games though.

[TicTac]

Oh and in regard to your advice...actually I sent him a text one day asking to get together after work. He didn't reply, BUT started showing me more attention. Again, I feel like he wants to keep me waiting in the wings or something. But I think once he realizes when he loses any chance with me, then it will hit him in regard to what he could have had and lost. :(

[San_Diego_Rick]

Maybe he feels like he's getting nowhere then gives it a break? Then he gets bored and decides to try to talk to you again. That would be my guess.

[TicTac]

He knows I liked him. Someone who works in same ofc that I am close with told me that she thinks it is because they frown on relationships in the office. And it isn't that they don't happen...it is usually secret. She had been there awhile and told me.