One time a few years ago I was at the airport and my mom was supposed to drop me off to catch a flight (it’s a long story) and I saw this creepy guy staring at my moms butt so I glared at him cause obviously am uncomfortable with some creep staring at my mom and am going to get overprotective.
I ended up placing my luggage in front of her to block his view, he finally stopped looking at her and realized I caught him and all he did was shrug and turn away? Wtf, how is he not embarrassed he got caught being a stupid perv.
Why are some men such disgusting and shameless perverts?
That's a complicated question with a lot of answers just due to how many types of people there are in the world and also how many ways you could look at this issue morally/philosophically.
I would begin by bringing up the obvious rules of politeness we are all taught, like how staring is kinda impolite or even creepy. Part of why that rule exists in culture is to protect women and help regulate men's impulses. The feeling of creepiness in the first place comes from ambiguity and the anxiety of not knowing someone's intentions (textbook creepy smile is one where there is also a frown. Are you happy? Or are you gonna attack me in anger?) And just because it's culture doesn't mean it's right either. It just ended up in our culture whether it was optimal, enlightened or not.
But even those rules are flexible. If you glance or even stare at a bulge in a man's crotch as he crosses his legs absentmindedly and don't get caught, has there been any harm done? Also, many women don't wanna be stared at by guys they don't like, but they adore being looked at by particular men who's attention they actually want. How are you supposed to know the difference?
Because women are the more vulnerable gender, it makes sense for them to be sensitive to that and for men to have some form of regulation on their impulses in society.
But at the same time as a man, what are you supposed to do if you want to find a mate in society? Walk eyes-front and never look at or notice any women? That's just sad for the men as well as the women who like them. Talking to/ approaching women is a bit more threatening than staring don't you think? Also, many men behave in a way that is polarizing to women and they are spectacularly successful. Women generally also don't like weak, socially stifled men.
How do you even become confident and attractive to women? You sure as hell have to be confident enough to look them in the eye and walk that tight rope on the edge of shame and courage. I personally had way too much shame, acted way to conservatively and "properly" and I lived a very lonely life because of it for a long time and that disappointed a lot of women who happened to like me. It sounds silly but I had to struggle awkwardly just to have the courage to look women in the eyes, and I'm sure I looked creepy at times. But my choice was "do nothing, have anxiety and never know how women are responding to me in reality because IM NOT EVEN WATCHING THEM OR SEEING HOW THEY REACT, or make a fool of myself until I can conquer this damn issue."
The point I'm making is that relations between men and women is a massive gray area full of dilemmas. I'm not saying that some men's behavior isn't completely reprehensible. I'm just saying that sometimes you run into creeps and that's unfortunate, but sometimes it's a lot more complicated than just calling a man a creep or a pervert (especially when women are just as perverted as men, maybe more since it's so much easier to get away with).
The same actions could be coming from so many different places and the context can be so nuanced, it's really a case-by-case basis. There's a really funny relationship you notice which is "rules are rules unless you learn how to break them properly". Some people break them badly.
While you are most certainly entitled to your perception... MUCH of what you feel is a function of the values that were promulgated in YOUR earliest formative years. The appearance of a kitten evokes the desire to CARESS it. Upon knowing fondling, the kitten guiltlessly savors its massage and innately cuddles and purrs seeking more.
OUR (your and my) Creator deigned that each of us IS SUPPOSED TO react and immediately respond to atavistic physical allure, regardless of any familial entanglements. HOW is obeying the Creator's design evident THROUGHOUT the Natural world 'perverted'? The ONLY 'perversion' is that of religious zealots society that CORRUPTED perception of natural attraction and pragmatic immediate response.
What society deems 'incestuous' was LONG the 'norm' of both Christian and pre-Christian Pagan ruling classes (do your research on Egypt & Europe)
In modern Asian eroticism, there exists the fetish of non-consensual commuter transit concupiscent concerted foreplay (termed 'Chikan' and 'Chijo') until social & religious dogmatic 'propriety' surrenders to the Victim's innate animal desires and she (or he) both intuitively responds... and increasingly heartily participates to their sexual climax then-and-there in racking orgasmic convulsions. We of the constipated West, look down our 'persona's noses in hypocritical disgust.
You ARE... only whom you TRULY are, when no one else is there to 'judge' your sensuality. "Sinner"?
Because they're not doing like what they do in Japan whenever they encounter a pervert. They'll scream pervert. And then police have no choice but to come and apprehend the individual. In this culture is specially in, men have been taught that it's okay to be acting this way and how women needs to just be quiet and tolerate it and how we should be happy they even pay attention to us to begin with and this is why a lot of women becoming very Fed Up. They have not been taught morals and you also got remember something too. A lot of these men especially do not have good role models in their lives. Some of them do not have stable household, grew up in divorce homes, and some don't even have their fathers around. So they learn what they learn depending on their mentality out there in the world, and they think that this kind of behavior is acceptable when it's not. And plenty of women today also promote this Behavior, so they don't help either. All its teaching you based on those experiences and encounters that men are perverts. Next time the situation happens make sure you tell your mother so that way she can be aware. And whenever you encounter something like that do not be afraid to call authorities. Because those type of men do not need to be there if they have no personal business being there, and what they do is that they like to Target female Stacy alone. That's another reason why is good when you're married especially involving a man to respect the Manitou with parrot because when they see that you have a man that is protecting you then they cannot try to target you. Be very careful when you're alone because there's always some creep watching. Even women.
I understand where you're coming from when you call that guy a disgusting perv basically because he's looking at your mother and you want to protect your mother I mean guys look at girls girls looking guys now. If you ever look at 1 guys crotch which I'm sure you have you need to take away that perv from the sentence if you're talking about that guy or otherwise you are considered a perv.. is he that's not cool because I know you not I'm just trying to say you can't say something about somebody if you've done the same thing and you have to be honest with yourself he'll have to be honest with us. But you do yourself anyway I guess I'm the first because if I see a beautiful girl walking standing talking I'm going to look at it and there might be a moment where I might stare at her is it because I like her eyes or smile her hair the clothes that she's wearing maybe she even has a nice butt. But I do agree with you there are a lot of disgusting guys I mean you have to admit sometimes there's a fun disgusting but then there's just a downright dirty nasty disgusting guy so answer your question I don't know why if you figure it out please tell me
The only times I’ve looked at someone’s body part was an accident and I felt very shameful and embarrassed afterwards which is why I don’t understand why some men can be such perverts and have no shame or conviction for their actions
I hear exactly what you're saying but it doesn't mean that they're a pervert it doesn't mean that you're a pervert if you look if you and I were walking towards each other my eyes would meet your eyes and I would look up and down your body we started to talk I would look deeper into your eyes because I want to hear and feel who you are on the inside but yes my eyes would have traveled up and down your body it's Human Nature just like it's human nature for you to look at a guy's crotch by accident
Well, here we will just have to disagree. If your mom is attractive, men are going to stare at her. We don't do the quick look thing women do. Y'all seem to be able to be satisfied with that. We have to stare.
I remember my favorite lady of all time. . . Dolly Parton, would stop meetings just to give men an opportunity to look at her breasts. She said it was better to get it out of the way so they could conduct business.
And my guy Bill Belichick. . loved some Chrissy Tiegen. His wife caught him. . . Chrissy caught him. . . and so did Chrissy's husband John Legend. You are growing into a young woman. Please do not become the kind that makes us embarrassed to be men. You see the results and the confusion of the males in this forum all around you.
But what defines “respectfully”. Was Bill Belichick staring respectfully? His wife was present. So was John Legend. And craziest of all. He is old enough to be Chrissy’s father. Or even grandfather.
Because it depends on the moral standards of a person. Many guys never learned and trained themselves to control their eyes, if you think it´s ok to look at every female the same way, there´s nothing wrong. We live in a open sexual society where porn isn´t much of a problem where guys buy worn underwear from women. It´s one of the side-effects that being sexually open leads to some guys staring at open in such a way. It´s not the majority though the number will probably grow because of porn.
OK, first off, most women seem to love getting the attention of men looking at them. If that wasn't so they would not being displaying their boobs and ass in what they wear. Why is it wrong for an older man to enjoy the view of an older woman. It's not like older guys gandering at young girls which can be seen as creepy. It is age appropriate in my opinion. I mean if he was making obscene gestures like sticking his tongue between his fingers or something but as far as just looking, it is not a crime. Maybe your mother would even have been flattered?
At 15, I probably wouldn’t have liked my mom being stared at by a man other than my father, but now, we’d probably both have a good giggle over it. Staring doesn’t necessarily equate to being a pervert. I think the line gets crossed when it gets verbalized. I love how you protected your mom though! Keep up the good work.
Same reason why some women are. I was at an arcade playing a video game when a woman walked right up behind me and grabbed my rear and said, "Niiice!" I turned around honestly expecting this woman had mistaken me for her boyfriend or something and fully expected to hear an apology. Nope, instead she just stood there giving me the "I want to f**k you" eyes and asked if I were single.
@Ghostlock Either you are making this up or it was probably some kind of a prank/misunderstanding. Women are not attracted physically to men/male figure.
mab bc in a world where nsfw is everywhere u blink online, people tend to think it's just some normal everyday thing to do these kinds of things, when it's not. i feel like the internet has made a lot of people more perverse, altho ofc it was around b4.
You wouldn't be asking that question if you'd seen what I've seen girls do just in the past couple years!! Your scenario, compared to what I've seen girls do, is like comparing a slap in the face to someone that would set someone on fire and then video tape it just for laughs.
Men who do that want women who also do that. Also typically people only dislike it if they don't find the person staring to be attractive, or if they are taken.
If the guy of your dreams physically speaking was staring at you that way, I doubt you would be annoyed by it.
I'm way too easily distracted to stare at women, but when women do it to me I'm not bothered by it even if I'm not interested (it's not like I'm gonna melt ersomething by being looked at).
Some men are pathetic and pervy. Men are known to be visual creatures. Although, what that creep did at the airport was defo gross. Ignore guys like him, they'll continue to exist.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I wasn't there obviously, and I'm not defending him, but we guys are visual, and it's POSSIBLE (maybe not) but possible that he didn't even realize he was staring at her? I know I've "caught" myself sometimes looking at women's breasts, and even with women I'm not attracted to. Didn't even realize at first I was doing it. But yes, there are some guys that are just disgusting.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
You judging all men by just seeing one very bad apple?
I'm guessing you been raised (or dragged up) by single mummy who blamed all men for everything and you only listened to women all your life, toped up by Feminazi propaganda and whatever men told you treated it as perverts opinion. How far from true I am?
I literally said some men and this was just one example, I have many others dumb ass. And I was raised conservative because my mom was conservative 🤔 so wrong, wrong, double wrong ✅
You do realise you're Anonymous, so you look pretty pathetic insulting other people while you're hiding your identity. The literal definition of a wimp.
She said *some* guys. She never claimed it was all men, learn how to read. Its perfectly fine for us women to complain about these men being perverts and shameless because rapists, perverts and pedos all exist. If you feel so attacked, I find it quite questionable on your part.
anniisa97 Karen, you need to read everything, including all symbols and especially when all was sorted, without you or seeing THE MANAGER.
Where did I insulted anyone?
When people use 'being anon' as a trigger or something to be ashamed of, makes me lough even more...
Unlike me, in last reply you insulted me on multiple occasions.
And the main bit, I do not care what SJ/keyboard warrior Sheep-people Karen thinks about me, you can go back to protesting against something you don't understand, as your shepherd needs you.
Its spelt 'Laugh' not lough, again back to my main point. Learn how to READ.
You tried to insult me when you generalised '97 borns as "sheep people".
Oh I insulted you "several times" ok, where?
You sound even more cringe trying to look funny or clever using the whole Karen thing, it doesn't suit you. Honestly you sound pathetic, 30 years old and calling women SJW for pointing out that she's clearly not talking about all men, but here you are getting offended over what a random girl said online and then have the nerve to call OTHERS keyboard warriors, on top of that you're Anonymous. You f-ing pussy
This one is specifically a question mark "?" Only used at the end of a question. Next time you want to tell people about how they word things, dont make yourself look stupid
@anniisa97 unfortunately, you are wrong here. And you just proven your level of incompetency... Now my possible age is triggering you too... You been drinking and/or smoking? You are not even able to copy what I wrote.. I was talking to you not anyone else and you need to take in to account all story not just pretend to be a victim and use only bits that suits your agenda.
Two issues make anyone pervert, one is looking for nudes and looking for sex. Since men are not covered species like female so men can go topless and bottomless and with very tiny underwear in public without social stigma that makes women less curious about male bodies, so women sexual pervertness only bestowed around sex but since women body is not available to see for men so men pervertness bestowed on see women in less cloth and sex.
If you are an extremely horny man please fap before going out into the world each day. It's better for you and everyone around you.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
So let me get this straight... you are disgusted by the fact that a man would look at an attractive woman? Um, okay.
The word "creep" is the most overused word in the dictionary in 2021, and it's almost always by young and immature girls. It seems shaming male sexuality is a favorite pass time for little girls these days.
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3 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
@btbc92 You continue cement your reputation ad the biggest prude in GAG history.
@DrHobama Pull your head out of your ass long enough to actually read what I wrote. Note the first seven characters of the comment you just responded to.
some men are just not taught how to treat women. most men are sex-crazed and see women as objects, not humans. not all men are like this i will let you know.
Because men have dicks. It’s like an extra brain in between our legs. Looking at women doesn’t make a man a pervert. It’s a completely natural thing to do in the presence of the opposite sex. Women check out men too ya know. Perverted behavior would be more along the lines of harassing your mom and following her home. You’re still very young, and don’t quite grasp reality yet.
I guess I'm a stupid pervert. If I like someone's ass or boobs. I'm going to check them out. That's what guys do. Sorry that we find the female body attractive
Because porn and the internet and have given people endless avenues to feed their deviant proclivities. We are in a time where some people are pushing for paedophilia to be seen as a sexual orientation.
Because patriarchy lets them get away with it and people saying “men will be men” and women are still shamed today for not being virgins, for having a boyfriend or for getting divorced.
It’s just a part of life it’s impossible to outlaw and there’s no moral dilemma about it (when the woman is over 18 of course) so it’s just whatever for us.
I couldn't imagine being so pressed over my mom being checked out. If my mom was being checked out like that I would point it out to her and we would have a nice laugh over it.
@RonaldCuthbert is correct too. Stop shaming men for being men!
Because their penis is their brains and not getting enough good sex and their tiny brains indulge in weird thinks trying to satisfy theirselves , all day every second they think sex probably.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Their blood does not go to their brain most of the time. So it is not abnormal for them.
I feel uncomfortable if people are checking me out in that way. For example, one time I was at gym and these group of boys groped me. I don’t like that kind of attention and i think most girls dislike that, so that’s why I protected my mom.
Ofc if you’re respectful I won’t mind and it will make me feel good, like if I catch someone staring at my face. I think that’s more respectful than staring at my body, that’s just me.
I didn't say it was right. I'm explaining that from his point of view he did nothing wrong. Your question was "how is he not embarrassed he got caught being a stupid perv." Now you know.
The way they were raised and the values they were taught growing up, determines someone's moral compass.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
The question youi looking for is why are some men and women such disgusting and shameless pervert I mean not just men there's a woman that exist too in this situation rather we ask a certain question not because men were always so vicious and dangerous more like we getting treated by the females who where even judging them how they act the world is not black and white the world is grey full of mysterious question like you have one right now.
If the jeans show her form people are going to look at it. If she covered her butt with her shirt or wore something looser, there would be nothing to look at. We all dress in whatever we deem appropriate for public, that's the individual 's responsibility.
I don’t get that at all, she was just wearing skinny jeans. My moms on the curvy side so theirs nothing to do to cover her curves. She doesn’t have a mans body, and that doesn’t give men the right to perv over her just because of her body shape?
It’s annoying and a double standard. Women that are stick skinny with no curves get to wear anything but the second a curvy woman does the same thing it’s “too sexual” or a problem. That’s why we get dress coded more, I don’t agree with that
You have to understand that you can't control other people's eyeballs or minds. They can look wherever wherever they choose when you're in public. I know that I can't wear sweatpants with no underwear in public or people my look at my privates and make me feel uncomfortable. We all just have to cover up to whatever level we're comfortable with in public, we can't tell others to look down or away. Now if someone decides to follow you around or harass you it's different. That's where you could call the police.
The bar for what’s deemed as inappropriate on a man as compared to inappropriate is so low. My question wasn’t controlling peoples eyes, my question was why are the so shameless about it. Why do they not feel nasty and disgusting for looking at a woman like that.
It's a free country. Some people want attention and dress provocatively. Others who don't want to be looked at have a personal responsibility to dress in clothes that cover whatever it is they feel they want covered.
Well, what are you gonna do? I mean, of course I only like it when women I've been attracted to check me out, but when it's my sister in law or some other person I don't feel attraction for I get creeped out about it. Unfortunately it doesn't give me the right to blame them, I just have to deal with it.
Most guys don't care because it's not like you can do anything to hurt him that would not put you in jail. I am sorry that it happens but that's how people are
If it's a good looking dude and not an ugly slob, you're not going to care much. You should have worded it differently and asked "How come ugly guys are disgusting perverts?". Fixed it for you
No. I’ve had “good looking” men look at my mom before in disgusting ways. I get defensive because it’s my mom so I obviously don’t want any creep near her.
He wasn't a perv. He was simply admiring your mom's figure. If he had stalked and harassed your mom, then he would be a perv. Looking is NOT disgusting or pervy!
well I don't know , but I'm sure there's probably some sort of female version of this form of extreme within the female gender aswell :p
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
You never post a photo of a black guy when you talk about5 how horrible men are. What would your father think of that? Is he proud that he raised a racist?
Because of her wedding ring, we were in the check in line and he was right across from us so he could probably see it. Plus either way men shouldn’t be looking at women with lust like that dude was. It makes people uncomfortable, especially in today’s world
Maybe so being all extra or so. I mean the ring isn't obvious while looking at her butt from the back. Then again I believe there's a fine line about offending others around you. I look quickly at glances and I always keep everything just at a glance. I get your point. If its excessive then its kinda wrong.
That’s not fair you have no clue what men go through women have testosterone too and are still pervs in their own way testosterone makes all of us horny the average male has 20 times more than the average woman and some men have even more than that we do the best we can to manage this and still get judged for it that’s messed up and unfair
It sucks, I’m pretty scared because of this. Especially since I plan on going to college and there’s a problem with people drugging drinks and all that 🤦🏽♀️
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