Are men sexually attracted to vulnerability in women?

[Anonymous]

I’ve definitely noticed this trend - men gravitate towards women that are vulnerable in some way.

I’ve tested this myself, dumbing myself down, acting naive/oblivious... and the amount of attention I got from men was a incomparable to what I got when behaving smart and culture.

Why?

[MrOracle]

Men want to be needed, and appreciated. It's really that simple. When a woman says "I don't need a man", men immediately think to themselves "great, please go away now." The vast majority of men are not impressed or attracted to women because they have a degree or a career or status - those are simply not qualities that men value, because they're qualities we already have. We're attracted to women who can bring to the table things that we can't. Certainly that's true of the type of men that most women WANT.

[Asker]

This essentially means men are massively egotistical, and need women as "fuel" to feed into their ego. They can't admire, love, and appreciate women as a separate individuals in the world, they only love women in how she relates to his ego. Whilst women appreciate and admire a man as an individual in society.

And people say women are the shallower sex 🤣

[MrOracle]

Really? Women make entire lists of things that the require from men, and some of these lists are longer than a Webster's Dictionary - but if men need something, we're terrible, awful people? Are you saying that women who REQUIRE a whole list of things from their men can't admire, love, and appreciate men as separate individuals - or do women just get a pass?

And you wonder why so many men aren't interested in relationships with women at all.

[Asker]

I think the point I’m making, is when we love a man, it is because we love him for his “personhood” and how he’s grown as a person. We’re interested in all aspects of how he exists in life, we want to know everything about him. We personify him.

There’s this almost vapid, superficial interest some men have for women. Where they aren’t interested in getting to know her deeply as a person, how her mind works, her opinions and judgment about things, how she’s lived life so far, where she’s been and what she’s seen. Like they just want sex + someone to tell them how smart they are. I’ve found that only highly intelligent men value intellectual curiosity in a woman.

[MrOracle]

You say "we" like you are speaking for all, or even most women, but the reality is that most women care about men's looks just as much as men care about women's, and women are even harsher in their evaluations of men's looks.

Studies have shown that men rate women reasonably: men rate the majority of women average or near-average (which is exactly how a standard distribution works), and increasingly smaller numbers of very good-looking or very bad-looking girls. But women rate 80% of men as "below average", only considering men they think are a 9 or above.

Another study posted pictures of average-looking men and had women rate them, and women tended to rate them very low - they used several groups of photos, each with dozens of groups of women, with the same results. Then, they used the same pictures, but they also included the careers and annual salaries next to the pictures, and wouldn't you know it, the men with higher salaries began being rated significantly higher - an average of 2.4 points higher, and frequently as much as 4 points higher (out of 10).

So, who is vapid and superficial?

Look, I'm not saying that looks don't matter to men, but they matter to women too, and if you don't think so, there's a ton of evidence that would disagree with you.

[Asker]

I think you're misunderstanding these studies. This assessment women do of random images, is detached and objective, most women will not want to commit/have sex/be romantically interested in these men unless they also prove to hold character traits women are attracted to. Whilst show a man a picture of a hot woman, he'd definitely do her no matter what.

At the base of it, women are sexually attracted to a man who inspires respect in them. "Ruggedly attractive" is something that only exists from the female perspective.

Men are like swords. They start out as worthless bits of metal and minerals. After smelting those bits together, the hunk of metal is super-heated and hammered to form a shape. They become strong and sharp.

A man's value rests mostly on his ability to prove himself. What does a woman's value rest on?

Women are like roses. They bloom once, then wilt. And not all of them bloom with pretty colors.

Women are sexually attracted to signs of power. This includes emotional strength, intelligence, an ability to navigate chaos, decisiveness, bravery. They're also attracted to a more protective side in men: men that are bold yet gentle, driven yet passionate, strong yet soft. It's almost like we're attracted to an idealized image of a father. Of course no one can embody all this, but the closer the better.

Not every man can become this way. It's why such men, even if average looking, tickle our lizard brains more than a pretty boy with nothing going for him will.

Conversly, any women can be soft and agreeable, work out and wear makeup. It essentially means that deep down, for men, women are easily replaceable and disposable. Whilst in the eyes of a woman, a man we truly, deeply desire is never (or very hardly) replaceable.

That's why I feel like a men's interest in women is not deep.

[Asker]

A rich man who's weak/not masculine is also unattractive to women.

The reason why a man's career is attractive to women, is because it signals that he holds certain character traits that allowed him to get there (those I listed above). Women are attracted to men who rank high on a hierarchy - if a man is head nurse, he'll be attractive to women below him. If a man is a principal, he'll be attractive to teachers. etc.

It is the masculinity and power/leadership that attracts women more than the money.

[Woke51]

To help a woman and be appreciated for it is the best feeling for a man.

You shouldn't dumb yourself down or act 'cause it will be fake. Rather, you should allow men to help you and then appreciate it: "Thanks for helping me with …", "Thank you for your advice. I think you are right."

The worst feeling for a man is to feel useless. Even worse, is when you're unable to help a woman, but some other guy is. You just really wish you could be in his place.

Appreciation is key. Best feeling every time, even for the smallest things.

[annaphoo]

Men like to be the leader and like to be lean on. It's just their character. They like to feel needed from women and that boost their men ego. So they tend to be more attracted to the girls who are naive and handy because men can be the alpha when they are with that type of girls.

[Lynx122]

Women needed men to survive a long time ago. Men were important and needed and today a lot of women do everything they can to show how much they don't need a man and also society in general is going in that direction. So when a girl gives a guy that feeling that is still alive in his instincts, but never present in his life, most men can't resist it.

It's like she's giving him purpose and making him feel like he's doing his job in life and his brain rewards him for doing what nature wants him to do, take care of his (potential) mate.

[coffeismytea]

I'm not, I like confidence, but some women mistake confidence for being manly or straight assholes towards men, which is a major turn-off for me. I've had women literally spread in front of me naked and I've declined it because they acted like assholes before getting to that point. I am sort of an exception though, I can fully control my sexual urges and stay months on "celibacy" without much effort, so make what you will with the information.
Remember that sexual attraction and preferences are very particular and individual things, there are people into virtually anything you can imagine...

[Renegade_Sailor]

Because when you appeal to the masses, the M is silent.

That is what you get.

Most people are not highly intelligent, the average IQ is 98.

If you're 115 , yeah, you're going to notice that they don't get it because you're on the upper end of the bell curve.

[Wester1967]

Yes. I am a natural therapist and helper.
However when I act nurturing with women, it always seems to breed contempt for me in them.

[AlexanderAnttila]

I certainly wouldn't equate playing dumb as being vulnerable.

[anylolone]

Don't confuse provider instinct with sexual attraction. Let's not forget, looking easier.

It's a fun thing.

[noohair]

Men have caveman brains and like control and superiority. It is not a sexual attraction. it is control.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's not sexual attraction. It's more like, "aww. She's so sweet."

[Anonymous]

How is acting like an idiot " making yourself vulnwrable". You're not. You're just TRYING to manipulate him.

[bamesjond0069]

Men prefer a woman who clearly needs them over an independent woman.

[Anonymous]

But I just look naive while I'm not 👩‍💻

[Luckycharms12]

Possibly afraid by your intellect

[hakangirer]

yesss 😍😍😘