Why do men in their mid to late 30s pursue the hardest?

[Ayanna240]

while guys in their mid to late 20s are not nearly as aggressive or desperate?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Well because time is running out. I never been desperate for women or chasing women around, but as I have gotten older the reality is I'm getting older by the day so I have to be a bit more aggressive which isn't my style when it comes to woman.

I have this young woman at church I know she likes me but the age difference bugs her, nevertheless I think I'm gonna end up marrying her though. 🤣

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

By the way the age difference bugs me too.

[Ayanna240]

how old is she? 18?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

22...

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Would the age difference bother you too?

[Ayanna240]

yea, if i were 22, i would think 35 is a bit of a far stretch. When I was 22, i was more concerned about myself losing my physical attraction towards him by the time he turned 40. Because in 5 years, I would still be very young and attractive, i wouldn't want to be stuck with someone who is old aging and out of their prime. And of course, you can't grow old with someone who is already old. I would date him for fun but I wouldn't seriously commit to someone like that forever.

If she shows signs of interest, then pursue her. If she doesn't , then don't pursue her otherwise it would make you seem annoying. But honestly, 22 yr olds typically tend to be quite clueless, immature and not anywhere near interested in marriage. Your chances would be better with someone at least 24

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yeah.. lol I understand what you're saying. I be seeing her face and looks mad hurt and disappointed when she looks at me or we shake hands lol...

if someone else comes along then I'll go for her but God through several dreams is trying to tell its her, so right now I'm stuck til she gets through her pity party so that's why I fully haven't quit on her.

Her maturity isn't ready yet. 🤷‍♂️

[Ayanna240]

Your goals and her goals might not align. Girls in early 20s typically are not looking for marriage but looking to date around or "play the field". They want to have the chance to explore their options. Many of them barely started their lives, it makes sense why most of them are not anywhere close interested in getting married.

When I was 22, I dated a guy who was 31. He told me that he was looking to get married within 4-5 years. I told him that I wasn't interested in getting married until I was 30 which was around 8-10 years later. I wanted to date around and explore what my options were. I ended up not seeing him again because our interests / goals simply did not align.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

She's different though. She's a girl and isn't into sleeping around.

[Ayanna240]

Just because she's not sleeping around, it doesn't mean she's interested in getting married at her age.

[Ayanna240]

and if you know her maturity is not up to par, you're just settling for someone who you know isn't right for you. Its just a breakup waiting to happen. When you're desperate, you start pursuing the wrong people , just for the sake of finding someone. Eventually it'll just lead to divorce or break up.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I'm not desperate at all. I'm actually very chill. I was ignoring her and she sat very close to me in church. She's playing stupid games...

[Ayanna240]

you can still show signs of interest to her. And see if she reciprocates. If she doesn't then just stop. It might not even be your age that bothers her, it might also be something else. You can't be entirely sure until you ask her.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

It's my age because I for certain I haven't done nothing bad to her. I always been nice to her.

She was super excited to see me and was smiling at me when I went back to church but the pastor's wife asked how old I was and I think she told her and since then she started to act funny. Lol

[Ayanna240]

its pretty common for girls that age to play games too. they love attention.

Just show signs of interest to her, if she reciprocates , then pursue her.
When you do pursue her, if you see her stop reciprocating at any point, then its a sign that she doesn't truly want you. Many guys over-pursue and think they always need to be doing something to pursue girls without ever considering her lack of response or lack of reciprocation.

If a girl likes you, you will definitely know. If a girl who doesn't respond to your advances or ignores you when you pursue her, she doesn't truly want you.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Is it a bad sign if she blocked me on Facebook months ago?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I do ignore her a lot. Lol.

[Ayanna240]

hahaha. sir, you are desperate. No offense.
If she blocked you, it means she doesn't want you

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Well I guess. I will find another chick then. But then why do she sits like right besides me when she can pick another area?

[Ayanna240]

maybe she knows you are interested in her? and she likes the attention? or she may just happen to sit next to you by coincidence.
but do you really think a girl who wants you, would block you?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. She's done it multiple times already. Plenty of other spaces She can choose from but she choose directly in front of me in the pews.

I don't why she would block me? Lol.. You're the girl. Help me understand woman psychology.

I like I said the age difference bugs her so that's my guess but that was months ago. 🤷‍♂️

[Ayanna240]

she doesn't want you hun, just move on. You're a decent guy. You can find someone better.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Ok. I will see what's out there for me. Thanks.

[hardlife90]

cuz theyre running out of time.

[btbc92]

Because they want sex and trying to "Secure" a partner for sex and children. That's why. They believe that women 30+ are at the so-called wall. When in reality it is them hitting a wall and get desperate so they go for women your age and younger for sex basically and a big maybe for a child. Guys in any age can get aggressive. It is just that most men you encountered either had plenty of sex before and is tired out if they weren't already married young with or without kids, OR they had dating enough women around their age to know it's not worth it. Some of the men that you are talking about in the mid to late 30s are desperate for female interaction and is trying to get the "hottest" females for a wife basically to use as a trophy to show and to prove to the world that he is high value, just by his looks, status and material possessions alone. They aren't pursuing you because they "love you" These guys don't even know you. It is because they want to use you for your fertility and sexual energy. They can't handle women around their age because women around their age tend to know better and the game tactic that most naive and less experienced females would understand. So be careful and avoid them. Most respectful men above 30 do not pursue younger women like that, we can barely even relate to them. We're like daughters to them, and that is the sick image they have in their heads. Women who looks like their "Daughters".

[MTC29]

Demographics. In the United States most women are married at around age 28. That means the there is an actual shortage of single women in their 30's. For unmarried guys in the age range there is fierce competition, not only for the remaining 30 year olds, but also for women in their 20's... who already have guys in their 20s chasing after them.

For guys, the tables turn in their 40's. Since the average marriage in the USA lasts around 12 years, there is suddenly a glut of fortysomething year old women divorced women. As there are more and more divorces, this surplus of divorced women continues, always to the guys advantage.

[Ayanna240]

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33.

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

[MTC29]

Okay, so I erred by 14% on the ages- according to your study. Mine study says otherwise. Since that invalidates all I said, I've blocked you so as not to waste your time again.

[HighValue]

They know what they want in life. They are more decisive. They have everything else they want in life and an SO and family are the last things they want.
And contrary to what someone claims that is at the wall and lost their value, good men do actually want a good relationship, love, and raising a family, and are not just after sex.
An additional reason for going for someone younger besides creating a family is they may want someone that didn't do hook ups/ONS/friends with benefits, or drugs/alcohol.

[btbc92]

Next time you want to secretly downvote me, I would have more respect for you to have some balls to be honest. You know darn well there are plenty of women who never had hooks-ups or any thing you say. If you wanted a family, etc, you would have had them. So come on. Many of you are two old and should be with people who are around your age. Many young people have done those things. Younger or older doesn't mean better.

[HighValue]

@btbc92 You are at the wall and lost your value. no matter what you think of me or others the fact that your value is gone won't change.
And even when I was in my 20s I didn't like women from my generation because they were worthless drug users and promiscuous, or very greedy and selfish. Mostly a combination of those bad qualities. Pretty much they are trash people just like you.

[Ayanna240]

why would you say that @btbc92 hit the wall? she's only 29? women can give birth way up to at least 36-40

[HighValue]

I'll show an example of someone that wants 3 kids.
They date for 1 year, then live together for 1 year. After that they decide to have kids so it is 1 year later for the first. They need to take a year off for the woman to recover physically so it won't negatively affect her health long term. Then have a second kid and another year off for recovery. Then the third kid. To have 3 kids it realistically takes 7 years if people date, then live together to better know if it will likely last long term to avoid a broken home, and taking a year off in between is a good idea for the woman's long term health.
And that is assuming that the woman can get pregnant within 3 months of trying, which most of the time isn't the case. So a minimum of 7 years to have 3 healthy kids, possibly longer.

Biologically, the ability to have healthy kids for women past 35 has a steep decline. That is assuming the woman didn't do anything previously to damage her eggs like drugs or heavy alcohol drinking. Yes, this comes straight from biology text books and yes, I am qualified to teach it myself.

Men's chance of having healthy kids doesn't decline until age 55 due to their sperm being newly produced, but they can have the same bad effects if they had used drugs or heavily drank alcohol. The substance abuse applies to both genders, even if they quit and haven't done it for over 10 years.
People abusing substances is the main cause for a significant increase in the number of children with learning disabilities.

[Ayanna240]

you don't have until 55 to have kids, dumb shit. I'm a woman in my mid 20s, I don't plan on having kids with an old man who I'm not physically attracted to, someone i can't even grow old with because he's already old. In fact, even if I were 33 and looking to get pregnant, I wouldn't take someone your age , 40 years old , to be my child's father. What makes you think a ton of young women find sub par sperm, erectile dysfunction, aging looks, hair loss to be attractive?

[Ayanna240]

To investigate, Bronte Stone at Reproductive Technology Laboratories in Los Angeles and his colleagues analysed sperm samples from 5081 men aged between 16 and 72. They found a deterioration in sperm quality and quantity after age 35.

Read more: www.newscientist.com/.../#ixzz78TO3oTCv

[Ayanna240]

www.givelegacy.com/.../

Paternal age is among the most significant factors affecting a couple’s chance of conceiving and their pregnancy outcomes. Men over the age of 35–40 typically experience a decrease in sperm health, which affects:

Pregnancy rates. Pregnancy rates decrease with paternal age. Men will generally see a 52% decrease in fertility rate between their early 30s and their mid-to-late 30s.

Time to conception. Compared to men 25 years or younger, men 45 years or older are 12.5 times more likely to take over two years to conceive.

Miscarriage risk. Pregnancy loss between the 6- and 20-week gestation period increases by 27% in fathers 35 years or older. That risk doubles when fathers reach 50.

Adverse pregnancy outcomes.
Pregnancies that involve a male over the age of 45 see an increased risk of birthing complications, and their offspring have an increased risk for adverse birth outcomes.

Offspring health risks. The probability is still generally low, but studies show that older fathers may be more likely to have children with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, autism, Down syndrome, or childhood leukemia.

It is believed that random mutations in a man’s sperm pile up over the years, which can pass genetic mutations to a child and increase their chances of developing a psychological or neurocognitive disorder.

[Ayanna240]

[ To have 3 kids it realistically takes 7 years if people date, then live together to better know if it will likely last long term to avoid a broken home, and taking a year off in between is a good idea for the woman's long term health.]

it doesn't take 7 years to have kids and create a family. If you truly love someone, you would date, marry them, then pop out 2 kids within 4-5 years. I have seen 34 yr old women move out of NYC, get married, have a baby , all within 3 years.

[HighValue]

The amount of stuff you posted within less than 2 minutes shows that these aren't even genuine answers. You just have a bunch of copy/paste stuff ready to harass people. Your opinions lost all of their value from that alone.

[Ayanna240]

@HighValue

I go off of science and statistics. Statistics show that most women marry men that are under 10 years older than them. Science shows that men's sperm quality deteriorates every year after the age of 35. The older the father is, the worse the birthing complications, the more at risk the child is for mental illnesses, the more dangerous the pregnancy.

All your talk about how young women love old men and about how mens sperm quality don't go to shit untli 55 is just making yourself feel better about your worries and fears about never being able to have a family.

If you're judging women in their 30s for their looks and egg quality, what makes you think young women aren't gonna judge you for wrinkles, bald spot, hair loss, erectile dysfunction, white hairs, sub par sperm?

I'm not physically attracted to you dude. Men have their physical and reproductive prime too. If you're past your mid 30s, there's a high chance you won't be attracting young women like you used to.

[Nightless]

As a man who falls within this bracket, all I can tell you is I have NO IDEA (not helpful I know).
Personally, I don't really 'pursue anyone. If I find someone who has a personality I enjoy and company I want around, then its about a 1% chance I move on it. I'm exceptionally picky when it comes to who my future partner is. I have no desire nor time for manipulative relationships.
Unlike most men, I ain't interested in getting in your pants. I'm interested in a life partner. Someone to grow old and grey with someday (If we live that long).
I suppose if I had to guess, I would assume it is because they may feel like they are "out of time" and feel like their prime is ending. So they pursue others hard in an attempt to find someone.
100% guess work though, so take it with a grain of salt

[Danny_dan92]

I’m nearing my thirties and I most likely won’t ever get to the point of being that way. I lost the drive and motivation to pursue since my last heartbreak.


Shit really sucks when you think you’re gonna marry someone and they betray you

[Gobigorgohome999]

Because they know they are getting older, and their time of youth is running out. It's as simple as that. Either some men want to hurry up, find their soulmate and start enjoy the last remaining few years of their youth with their partner... OR there are those horny dogs out there that just want to have empty sex for the next 10-20 years before they start wrinkling up. Life is short, most men in their 30's want a family that's when it's time to start settling down with someone.

[PoliteSpeaker]

I don't know I guess we should all pursue what we want timidly. I want something to eat but I'm not gonna try that hard. If I don't eat oh well. Don't wanna seem desperate, I care what others might think if they see me hungry so I'll just not eat.

[FilmGuy93]

It's not desperation, it's just the ability to pursue. Better established men have the ability to put in more effort.

[Ayanna240]

i think its because they know they are at the end of their marriage prime. Its rare for people to get married in 40s

[FilmGuy93]

Well yeah, time is a little bit of factor. But men in their 30s tend not marry girls in their 20s. Are we only talking about the mens' ages changing, or is it also the women's?

[Ayanna240]

Statistically, people tend to marry those that are under 8 years younger. But when people are desperate, they end up just marrying absolutely anyone just for the sake of having someone. And often times, this leads to divorce.

[FilmGuy93]

Really? I would love to read those numbers if you have them available... I know my parents were 6 years apart

[Ayanna240]

according to pew research, most of the world's marriage age gaps are under 4 years apart. Second most common age gap is 9 years and under.

www.pewresearch.org/.../

[Ayanna240]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conroy-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[Ayanna240]

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[suisuiola]

I’m guessing they want to settle down and possibly start a family or an actual long lasting relationship.

[noohair]

Once a guy figures out that he wants a family, he is more serious. When he is young he just wants to plow the fields. What you see as desperate is determination.

[Ayanna240]

i think its because they know they are at the end of their marriage prime. Its rare for people to get married in 40s

[Medhat-M]

Because when they were young they were just losers.. Now they're losers and getting old

[JessieBellll]

You are horrible

[Medhat-M]

@JessieBellll lol no I'm not

[Ayanna240]

thats soo hilarious

[JessieBellll]

Yes you are

[doopayo]

They probably want to settle down and get married probably

[Anonymous]

Because the current batch of 20 something's fear being MeTooed into prison or facing a feminist endorsed firing squad too much to even consider approaching any women

[Anonymous]

Was busy with uni in 20s, now about to be 30, about to finish my second degree and transition into higher paying work, buy a house and look for a wife.

[b5fan]

shrug... maybe that was the only thing that worked for them.

[Hangry06]

Cause they want to start a family