Should men focus on their purpose between age 18 to 30 instead of chasing women?

Question

I feel like I’ve been wasting my time focusing on women.

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

Biologically you are in your prime time and so you are perfect age to date! You dont have to make women your only purpose, of course. Make yourself the first priority but that does not mean you should not date women.

If you decide dating when you get old it will be too late for you because you are going to have small dating pool because old men are biologically leftovers because of health and aesthetic reasons. A young man is more attractive, more healthier, and so stronger and can protect his mate which attract women.

The sperm quality is also decreasing the older the men get which means their kids are more likely to have genetic abnormalities.

"Evolutionary Psychology studies suggest that women prefer slightly older or similarly aged partners... Several recent studies have shown changes in male reproductive parameters as a result of increased age. In the current review of medical literature, we found evidence that much older men are more likely to be infertile, women with much older partners are more likely to experience problems during pregnancy, and children of much older men are more likely to have genetic abnormalities. Based on these findings, we suggest that reproducing with much older men does not represent the best reproductive option for women, which would explain the female preference for only slightly older or similarly-aged mates. sexual selection;mate choice reproductive behavior; ..."-

Old men can't have much common with much younger women since the maturity level ain't the same due to brain development that affect the personality and maturity level of the young girls. Brain development continues till you become 23-25. So it is not healthy relationship and there will be also a power imbalance since young girls also dont have much adult life experience and because of brain development that i explained. So if you prefere young women, then try to date young women before it is too late for you since you are young too. The divorce rate is also higher the bigger the age gap is. This is another reason why it is not good idea if you decide to date much younger women when you become old.

Should men focus on their purpose between age 18 to 30 instead of chasing women?

"A five-year age gap statistically means you’re 18% more likely to divorce (versus just 3% with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39% for a 10-year age difference and 95% for a 20-year age gap."

Men may be attracted to women in their early 20s, but women in their early 20s are not attracted to majority of men since young men aka men their age are minority since women prefere similarly aged or slightly older men as I mentioned.

As i explained young men are more attractive because older men tend to get bald, health issues and so physically weaker. According to evolution men are programmed to spread their seed and provide their kids by hunting and fighting for example but an old men is not capable to fight and hunt due to health issues and so he is biologically a leftover but an old women still can cook, take care of kids etc. Health also means good looks in the nature and females want the best genes for their offspring.

This is why women care more about looks and men look way better when they are young!

Here is a pic of Johny depp in his prime

And here a pic of old johny depp

So even most attractive man in the history can't escape aging process that make him look much less attractive

I know we live in modern times but our instincs ain't changed. Yes we can control our instincs but our instincs still influence us to an extent, otherwise we would not need to have sex, or the need to have children.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I think that's a great idea. One that everyone should consider - and one that could benefit from being a lifelong pursuit that starts well before 18, too.

I'm of the belief that we have the best chance to form and maintain the healthiest and best relationships when we know ourselves well.

I've experienced this first hand, too. The last four years I've spent a lot of time, effort, and money on focusing on myself - getting in shape, finding things I enjoy doing, working on managing my mental health, and identifying the values that make my core.

These all have helped me establish stronger friendships and attract an amazing partner. It really does fall into place when you really know yourself.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

That mentality is a beta trap.

When it comes to getting women in today’s world it’s much more about how you interact with them and make them feel than anything else. What you’re doing with your life can play into that but it’s mainly about vibes.

Most women go through similar phases in their dating lives, where they have different priorities. But you should also remember that what actually attracts them on a deeper level remains the same regardless.

A younger woman is all about fun and excitement. That might mean different things to different girls, but that doesn’t matter. It’s who they get along with best, who they have the most fun with, and maybe who is the best looking. This is where “beta” guys, guys who are maybe shy or not that socially skilled, don’t usually have much luck.

As they get closer to 30, if they plan on marrying and having a family this is when they start to think more practically, the smarter ones at least. For many of them, they realise that maybe the guys they dated in their early 20s, while they were hot and they did have fun with them, won’t make good husbands. They start to look for stability instead, and this is where they start to say that they’re done with jerks and players. This is where the guys with the mentality you describe come in. She begins to want to give this guy a chance. He’s got a good job, he seems like a safe bet.

The trouble for this guy, and she probably doesn’t realise this either, is that she’s still not as strongly attracted to this guy as she was those other guys. On a sexual level at least.

Sex is important to a strong, healthy relationship. A relationship without strong sexual chemistry is doomed to fail. Most people under-estimate the importance of this.

A man having a good job is obviously a plus, it makes him an attractive long-term prospect, but that isn’t what makes a guy sexually attractive to a woman. It’s not what turns her on. What turns her on is the other stuff.

These are the guys who get married then complain that the sex dropped off, either after getting married or after having children. That only happened because on her side, even if she might love him as a man/person/partner, the sexual attraction isn’t there.

Eventually he’s either having “duty” sex which she only has with him to keep him
happy and not because she wants it which sucks, or he’s in a miserable sexless marriage, or he gets cheated on, or she serves him divorce papers.

If you don’t wanna be that guy you’d better know how to attract women as well as be on your purpose.

blank_expression · Accepted Answer

It depends on how far you project your bounds and dreams. If you are career bound than these women are nothing but landmines between you and your endeavors. I think back on all of the chances I had to make some serious errors regarding women because they would have buried me, literally. One of the strangest times in my life was when I graduated two years early from hs, never said a thing to anybody but just disappeared, and then headed off to university life, all without a peep. I returned home to a job for the summer; and these opportunist females started showing up at work all decked out smelling nice and talking as if we were already dating, seven did this. Looking back, this was the most blatant turn-off to me because they never said a damn thing to me when I was in their classes. This was one of my greatest educations of the female motivation. Prior, a few simply tried to get pregnant, and these would have been the end because these women turned out to be the biggest losers. If you have goals and apply your energy to a path, while you are in that mode, women are pitfalls and only detract from your objective. Be highly cautious of nature’s biochemical snare that is more power than the worst of drugs. Yes, focus on your purpose.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

In real life, you are not presented with this either/or dilemma.

Account · Answer

Everyone should. Not just men.

Lillie_xo · Answer

okay so the musical 'Avenue Q' follows this line a lot. The main character leaves his girlfriend and basically his entire life to search for his purpose but he never finds it and instead ends up as a bit of a pathetic slob.. sure its not what actually happens to guys like this . . but then at the end he gets the revelation that it doesn't really matter. I think its best to focus on your life than it is to focus on your purpose to be alive because most of us won't ever find it and will instead end up a depressed puppet never leaving his apartment ! you're not wasting your time focusing on women, you would be wasting your time if you tried finding your purpose ! (^‿^✿)

kmg9150 · Answer

You should focus on what you want to at the that given time.. If your trying to do things that aren't of interest at that moment your likely to not be putting forth your best effort, so in the end how is that productive? Everyones right time in doing anything, is theirs and the no one elses... Some do well at an early age, some have the breakthru idea when they 50... Time is wasted when its not given to what you want to spend it on or if you aren't trying to improve something in your life of your choice. If your always trying to be a little better at anything you dony get stuck in the present and left in the past.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

What is this thing with things starting at 18?

you spend 12 or so to 18 multi tasking girls and exams.

that way when you are 18 plus, you at least have some social skills for women.

each person is different, not everyone is going to a university for 6 years hard studying.

some will reach their career plateau early.

you also need to define your purpose, everyone’s is different,

at 25 you should either have it or pretty much have your degree and career mapped out.

you can then easily multitask

rjroy3 · Answer

There's a difference between chasing women and having a dating life. You can life your life and have women around without chasing tail all hours of the day.

Unless you're a CEO trying to really make this startup flyoff... you have more than enough time in your day to talk to some girls and focus on whatever your dream job is.

Reality is the average person wastes too much time on too many things and they try to point to one thing they spent time on to blame for not reaching something. Procrastinating is procrastination.

Log out of all social media accounts. Turn off your notifications. Sit down and write down the things you want to accomplish. Do a dopamine detox and use that free time to focus on only your goals you wrote down.

YouTube dopamine detox if you don't know what it is. Brutally effective for getting a lot done.

Anonymous · Answer

Thing is things happen differently for different people. I say do what you think is right for yourself and if you fail then you get up, learn from it and continue. If you don’t fail then that’s great! (Talking about dating and meeting your person)
I may think a couple getting married young is only going to end in divorce but that would be so close minded since we don’t know people and how they feel and how their life will be like.

Worry about your own life and not about what other people should or shouldn’t be doing in their own.

VanillaSalt · Answer

My brother met his wife in high school. She’s amazing they have a great family and their successful. Ide say if by your 20s you haven’t made relationship headway just skip women. You won’t have the dating skills when your older but when your 35 with 50grand in the bank it don’t matter much.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Women should NOT be your focus at any stage of your life. You control your own destiny and anyone can walk in it or walk out of it at anytime. Do you get what I'm saying? Never give anyone any more energy then they would give you.

lonewolf2233 · Answer

I don't know if you should focus on it all the way to 30 but in my opinion you should focus on it I. Your early stages of adulthood including the years of all the way from 18 to 25 and maybe even 28. But chasing women in today's day and age can be harder they usually go for the top 1 percent of men from what I've heard so ye your focus should be on your purpose in your earlier years of adulthood and then maybe at 28 or 30 go chase women once you've built yourself to success.

ToastyOats · Answer

If you can maintain your motivation go for it. You can easily keep getting stronger and smarter into your thirties. But... If that is when your first kid is born, they will be beating you in a foot race by the time their ten. I would rather have been a young dad with support from my dad than a older dad with a feeble grampa. When a woman gives a good man a child young she gets two strong men as father and grandfather. When a woman insists on fucking around awhile she only gets one strongish man and his rapidly aging dad. Its better for everyone for the generations to be close.

Hannah_le · Answer

Eh I’m not a guy. But all I can say is do what ya gotta do but I definitely wouldn’t prioritize finding women . It can make you depressed and have low self esteem which women aren’t rlly attracted to guys that show low self esteem cuz then it can make your game weak lol. Focusing on yourself , finding your self worth and maybe you may find a women on the way who knows.

notserana · Answer

I think It's best to prioritize your own well being rather than anything else. Continue doing the things you enjoy doing, look back and try to become a better version of yourself and you'll most likely find someone to click with while doing these things. Whenever I specifically looked for a s/o, it ended up not working out.

nella965 · Answer

Don’t wait until you’re 30 to find a woman, because by that age , Most of your peers will already be engaged or already married. Most women around your age will be engaged or married. Your dating pool will shrink Considerably. I have seen way too many guys in their mid to late 30s , single , no longer dating like they used to in their 20s

Julielamar2 · Answer

Everyone should be doing this, not just men, at least to some extent.

You have to think about your future and your goals, of course, but it's also good to have a woman or a man to help you in your projects and support each other. I don't think staying alone in your corner to achieve your ambitions is the best solution. Therefore there needs to be a balance, a happy medium between the two

Lliam · Answer

Why either/or? Why can't they do both? Chasing women? What, on-line? They can meet women and ask them out (preferably in person) without making it a full time job.
It's possible to have a girlfriend and also focus on school, job, career, or whatever.

Musicrules85 · Answer

Ok this makes absolutely no fucking sense. I thought it was perfectly natural to like a girl. What does it mean to "chase" anyway? I've been trying to focus on myself, made some friends, been joining groups and doing plenty of hobbies, but I still avoid interest in women. Is that what focus on yourself means? To avoid the opposite sex your whole life? do you not think about women at all and she just appears out of the fucking blue? I used to like someone, but didn't do anything about it. Not to mention people say "stop looking and you'll meet someone" so I don't even ask girls out either. Ignore them. Is that what focus on yourself means? Disregard women?

SpiderManFan2002 · Answer

Truthfully, everybody should focus on their purpose as opposed to chasing people. If we focus on our purpose the right people will enter our lives at the right time. :)

J2ohhhhh · Answer

I don't know my friends who were chasing women and settled down have a painfully mediocre life and complain about not having a fulfilling job where they can eb creative etc. Focusing on outcome is wasting your time. Do things with style and you can never fail.

I-C3_ME · Answer

I'm doing both tbh, I'm a hopeless romantic so doing stuff that makes them smile and caring about people (not just romantic interests) is something I'll always do but that doesn't mean i can't also work on my own stuff. I can study code, workout, get a job, hang with friends when I'm alone. A relationship isn't a replacement, it's an additional thing. It's a important difference, because if you treat it as the main thing it can start to destroy you as a person.

JSmuve · Answer

No. You should focus on both with more time spent on yourself. Chasing women is a skill so why not learn it while you're younger instead of putting it off until you're older and the dating pool smaller? Makes no sense. You're just going to make it more difficult on yourself the longer you delay it.

Lionman95 · Answer

Yes I think so. Dating is for guys who already have found their purpose and passion in life, if you haven´t than you should probably stop dating because there is nothing you can offer a woman that you bring into the relationship.

slatyb · Answer

People don't have a purpose. If they did, it would be to reproduce.

Suit yourself. Most adults prefer having a partner. If your partner gets in the way of other goals, you probably have the wrong partner.

iBeowulf · Answer

Marriage, cohabitation, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces.

Anonymous · Answer

I actually think everyone should try to find their purpose at a younger age , when we're 18 we waste so much of our time and unfortunately our elders don't ever tell us we are. If we could focus now we wouldn't be such a wasted , depressed generation.

MrJMM · Answer

I'm pretty sure because society told men how to be men made this whole problem. Like you find a good woman by some age, be rich, be strong, etc. Like it was strange for me to understand the concept like what would that prove? That you would be sort like a carbon copy of someone else except yourself because you need to be this specific way or other people will make you feel worthless. Oh um, the man's purpose should not have been that.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Yes, women want successful men because they arnt going to want the pressure of paying significant amount of bills, hell even on the first date. If you work hard you can have any woman you want, men dont reach their prime til about 45-50.

Anonymous · Answer

By all means, guys are not financially stable until they are well into their 30's, concentrate on your career, building your life,
Women do not want to know you when your younger unless its only for a quick hook up as you have no resources.
It is NOT a Beta mind set to concentrate on your career and life, you have all the time in the world, remember men are reaching their peak in their late 30's - 40's. Women peak in their 20's - 30's that is biology.

Adam1978 · Answer

It's a priority thing, everyone should put their primary goals first and others after. If your primary needs requires 100% of your time something is wrong. Such as having to high expectations too fast.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Focus solely on making yourself the best you can be. When a bitch is available for a pump and dump, go ahead. Just don't develop any feelings for them. And don't waste time chasing them. Fat bitches that put out easily will drain your balls just like any other bitch.

Anonymous · Answer

We should be able to do both. But modern female culture makes life difficult. People are meant to be together, the idea that investing in finding a partner doesn’t get that result seems absurd. But here we are, women have all these hoops for guys to jump through and expectations. “In order to get a woman you need to try not to try, but not not try so hard that you don’t try at all”.

It shouldn’t be so ridiculous.

elduderinosupreme · Answer

I focused on myself and dealing with the constant bombardment of bad shit happening in my life. I didn't bother complicating my life more by chasing a partner.

emilym12345 · Answer

As a woman this is what I have decided to do focus on myself and my purpose. So whose to say a man can’t do the same? Unless that’s not what he wants to do?

Ninjazzed · Answer

Definitely get yourself together first before trying to meet someone new. You shouldn’t be going into marriage barely stable. That could end very badly.

jackderby_01 · Answer

Not necessarily but yeah it should be your first priority. Yoy can increase your confidence if you're rich and fit. And with confidence you can increase your chances of getting a good partner

learning4044 · Answer

I have done that, just focusing on my career between 28 and 40, now retired.
My experience of highs and lows with work (owned a company) did not allow for any real relationships until mid 40s.
At that time there was an amazing amount of women to date that knew what they wanted AND were intelligent.
Downside is the loneliness during the 20 hour days building a career.

Bluemax · Answer

Why on Earth is this presented as an either/or conundrum?  In my 20s I was perfectly able to do both. And given the value of a good mate, I would say it's pretty damn important.

exitseven · Answer

You need to do what makes you happy. Nobody has a perfect life and sometimes you have to make sacrifices for a chance at a better future but if you miss out on a relationship you may not get that chance again.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Focusing on one or the other can be problematic. The better solution is to strike a balance with the two. Even if you find that woman you seek and is seeking you, you will still need to strike a balance with a career and family life.

Apple1996 · Answer

Many guys manage to have a relationship and a career. Don't get why you would need to choose

SpaceNinja04 · Answer

If you chase you'll scare them all first of all ☺️ while you focus on yourself I'm sure the right lady is going to be there 😊

musicloverr8 · Answer

Yeah you probably are. Many people are more focused on career nowadays. get to a point where you are comfortable & confident/proud of your career, and then try to get a good gal.

Jet-Blaque · Answer

16- 30 should be a focus on your career. women will come and go. semen retention is real. when you drop females drugs/alcohol/ all addiction you'll reach great heights

Chicago23 · Answer

I’m in that exact same boat. Best thing I could say is focus on improving each day , and enjoy the journey too have fun in your life. And everything will fall into place.

Citizenkirk · Answer

Are you suggesting that chasing woman isn't that purpose?🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🌋🌋🌋⚠️⚠️

nolabels · Answer

It depends entirely on what your intended purpose may be.

ChubbyKing · Answer

Sure, I don't agree with MGTOW and all that but definitely look after yourself first. There will be time for relationships later

Somoneelse · Answer

I believe they should. When you have found your purpose, you become a better version of yourself. which also can help with "getting the girl".

snackthatsmilesback · Answer

INSTEAD of? No. In higher priority than? Yes. Find what you want & go for that. Whether there's a woman involved in what you want or not.

rcljr · Answer

A mans purpose is to procreate and ensure survival of the species, all men are doing is following the science…

sage2021 · Answer

It's hard for them to focus on anything but fulfilling his sexual urges everyday at that age.

Titanya · Answer

Yeah that should be the main focus but in everything there should be a balance.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, most women are a waste of time which will lead no where and won't benefit you or your life. Focus on your career and then fuck the gold diggers who swarm around but get a vasectomoy first and never let one move in with you

DWornock · Answer

Or ancestors are men that impregnated the most women so it is only human nature for men to attempt to impregnate as many women as possible starting at about age 14.

dolemite89 · Answer

i think men should focus on their purpose in general it doesn’t just apply to that age range. You should still have fun and get laid but be smart about it and don’t put too much emphasis on girls or relationships over your long term life goals.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Well, being a good husband and loving a woman IS my purpose.

Dnice1 · Answer

Sometimes it's best to focus on college or getting a job but that doesn't mean you might not meet someone while in the process.

LadyCroft · Answer

Im just here to say that I've never given a man who chases a chance and I dont think ever will. I rather chase the better men myself.

Anonymous · Answer

Here's the platinum rule: You do what you like. It's simple:
If you like women, go after women.
If you like money, go after a career.
If you like purpose, then I can't help you with that.

I like women and money.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

A good thing for a man of any age to consider; there's an old saying, "Young men should not marry yet; old men, not at all".

Should men focus on their purpose between age 18 to 30 instead of chasing women?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should men focus on their purpose between age 18 to 30 instead of chasing women?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.