Not sure why it matters what kind of women you're attracted to as that was not part of the question? And for the record, you seem to be cutting out a lot of women from your dating pool. Good luck out there...
@sodapopcurtis I didn't ask for your luck, nor need it, nor care for it, but thanks.
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Don't feel bad. Like, at all. Not even a little bit.Remember, women definitely don't feel bad so why the hell should men? People are allowed to have preferences, and there's no reason to feel bad about that.
@ThrowAwayx404 As a woman, I can say honestly that I always feel bad rejecting someone, unless we're talking about some drunk/creepy obnoxious guy who is approaching me aggressively or being rude already. But if a regular/nice guy is genuinely asking me out in all earnestness, I feel bad saying no. That doesn't change my answer, but I try to be as kind as possible. Maybe not all women do this, but most women I know would agree with me. Maybe you need to change your approach with women if you keep getting rude rejections?
@ThrowAwayx404 "women definitely don't feel bad so why the hell should men?" That's a bold statement there. I mean no disrespect but I can't really take advice from people who are prone to generalizing based on their bad experiences, it makes it look like what you're saying to me comes from a place of bitterness. Most people in general (Men/women) feel bad about it, unless the person is rude or aggressive as she mentioned above. There is a portion of people of course that don't feel bad about it, or some even enjoy the thrill they get by rejecting someone (They like that sense of control and power in the exact moment), but that's not the case with most women I think. At least not with the girls I encountered.
@sodapopcurtis What’s wrong with my approach? See that’s the thing, you don’t know anything about my approach, but we are more willing to say something is wrong with my approach than we are willing to accept that there’s women who use being approached as power play, and an opportunity to stroke their narcissistic egos by treating men like shit for having the audacity of approaching them in the first place.I can assure you, and feel solidly confident that, there’s nothing wrong with my approach, because:1) I’m an introvert. My social interactions are very much brief and non threatening and I put a lot of mental effort into ensuring this while being keenly aware of how uncomfortable it can be for women. It’s very important to me that the interaction is as not unpleasant as possible. I word it that way because I can’t control what she will think is a pleasant interaction, but I can control the opposite, and that is in the form of simply backing off and letting her go about her business. I don’t extend the interaction beyond what I necessary.2) To that point, i don’t require multiple no’s to get the point. With me, one no is enough. I don’t play these games where I persist, because not only am I not a teenager who plays hard to get, I also understand that’s just not ok these days.3) I’ve been false accused of sexual harassment twice. I just don’t have the risk tolerance to be persistent. As I said above, a single no is all I need to back off. This is the environment I have to operate in now, and I’ve adapted.4) I was raised right. I have taken from my mother that girls and women should be treated with respect when dealing with dating and asking them out. Respect is of the utmost importance for me. I rather have a woman think I didn’t try hard enough than to have her feel disrespected.
@sodapopcurtis 5) I can handle rejection. I’m not one of these assholes who calls her a bitch, or stuck up if she rejects. I don’t tie my dignity to whether I’m rejected, so I am quite capable of accepting a no and walking away without making a huge deal.6) I’m not entitled. I realize and accept that women have ZERO obligations with me and that women owe me absolutely nothing.7) Perhaps the most important one: the above describes my thinking when I use to approach women but I don’t actually approach women at all anymore. It’s just not worth it anymore. I’ve gotten to the point where I value my dignity over the possibility of something coming out of an interaction with women if I have to endure disrespect for that to happen. I simply don’t accept that I should be willing to allow myself to be treated like shit and compromise my dignity self-respect for such an opportunity with a woman.8) I really only care about being treated like a human being, and apparently that bar is a bit too high for the vast majority of women in 2021, so why bother? I realize this one sounds like it’s a bit contradictory to “I’m not entitled” because one could argue that this comes off as “I am entitled to being treated with dignity even if I am being rejected”. I am kind of conflicted on that because inside, I do feel it’s fair to expect being treated with dignity and respect even if I am being rejected, but at the same time I’ve gotten to the point where it’s not a hill I am willing do die on, so if I sense even the most minor annoyance or lack of respect in the interaction, I just leave. It’s really not worth my dignity and peace of mind.
@sodapopcurtis So my question is why is it that the assumption is always that the man’s approach is wrong and why are we so unwilling to accept that there are women that can be toxic AF and enjoy weaponizing rejection to make men feel bad about themselves?Apart from the really toxic fucked up guys who actually think they’re entitled to women, there’s very real and legit reasons for things like MGTOW. It’s unfortunate that MGTOW gets immediately labeled as misogyny, etc.The idea that women are always just these wonderful, kind people that are never toxic is soooo deeply ingrained in our psyche that we are so unwilling to accept that guys who go MGTOW have done so for legitimate reasons.I don’t have a problem with women per se, or rejection for that matter, what I have a problem with is how feminism has pushed attitudes that have led women to think that because women face sexism and unfair treatment in other areas of life (like in government and career) that means women get to be incessantly aggressive, unkind, and outright rude to men in the realm of dating and relationships.
@sodapopcurtis The only way I would ever approach a woman today would have to be in a very specific set of circumstances.I have to already know you (no cold approaches).I have to have something in common with you, so as to not make the conversation awkward and have something we can actually connect on.I have to be familiar with them already, such as if the case with mutual friends, or maybe from prior interactions.I DO NOT approach any women at work.I’m sorry for writing so much, but it’s really difficult to convey all this in a respectful, manner that doesn’t lend itself to being distorted by others. Hope you found even a little value in what I’ve shared here.
Have you even considered that maybe your experiences are different mine? That does make what I’ve said “a bold statement”. I don’t understand why we insist on pretending all guys are treated equally by women. Women are different, I get that, but that doesn’t invalidate that there are certain things are immediately put certain guys at a disadvantage when dealing with women. Some of these things are biologically informed and unless you have the right genes, you’re already at a disadvantage. That’s not bitterness, that is simply me accepting that the biological forces that influence women’s selection process dont give a fuck about my feelings or the feelings of any man. Certainly there is a range of the kind of guys women are attracted to, but if you don’t fall within that, you’re already at a disadvantage.Just look online on social media such as YouTube or TikTok and you’ll find plenty of examples of the kind of thing. I don’t get why we’re more willing to cal it bitterness on the side of men than to acknowledge the reality of what I’m saying. Too often people worry more about shielding women and their feelings about me saying these things, and we worry about considering if there is any truth to what’s being said.Here’s a cliché: women like tall men. Does it mean all women? Of course not, but it’s definitely enough for it to matter. How come acknowledging this is viewed as “bitterness”? I don’t see it that way. I see it as “this is a biologically informed reality and it doesn’t make women bad people, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore it either”. I hope that makes sense how I’ve explained it. Granted it’s a bit of a nuance point.
^^ the comment immediately above was intended for @YesICan.Also, I meant to say “it DOESN’T make it a bold statement”*.Sorry for the confusion.
No I was wondering because this guy sometimes tells me we should go drink something, and I really like like him. I always said I would have liked to but he seems to disappear as soon as I propose a day and time. So I just wrote to him directly and said I’d finally like to go for a drink, and he never replied. Even if my message was nice and joking etc. And knowing him, I really believe he thinks I’m not good enough for him. He’s very handsome and comes from an important family.
This is small dick energy.
How would you reply to her? Or would you just ignore her?
Am I friends with her or is she a stranger
Friends of a good friend?
Then I would probably just tell her thanks for telling me but I'm not attracted to her in that way
i am trying 2 think of best way 2 turn her downwithout hurting her feelings 2 much
4 example if she is very fati dont want to say dati try 2 come up with more nice waylike maybe she is 2 much woman 4 me
so much woman there with herlike i sit on the seat and her woman is spilling 2 my sidei try 2 lift her and there is so much woman 2 lift2 much woman!
i like my woman in the small dosesjust little bit here and therenot everywhere