Why does he takes ages to reply but keeps the conversation going?

[VanessaH]

So I'm friends with this one guy. There has been nothing between us. However we share this deep emotional connection and we can talk about everything. We usually talk about once in a month over text.

But what is the deal with him? He never initiates the conversation. He takes usually 1-2 days to answer. Because of this it seems he is not interested in me.

However, he writes super long messages and always asks a question in the end so that the conversation never ends. Why does he act this way?

Updates

+1 y

I decided to not to be friends with him anymore. I feel like he doesn't value me and out friendship enough. I focus more on the friends who also put some effort in the friendship.

[SteveSmith1985]

hahahaha, oh wow... you could totally be describing me... I am guilty of ALLLLL of that.

Wow.

Honestly, I absolutely understand why you might draw the conclusions you're drawing, about him not being interested. I'm not going to try to justify or explain WHY he (and I) are this way. But... for me... I am definitely interested (... we're just talking pure friends stuff here, right?).

These are friends who I genuinely love talking to, am always happy to hear from, and who I value a whole lot. I'm just horrible at initiating conversations. Also, I'm not constantly on my phone, and have been known to take a day or two to reply (occasionally, not usually though). That's just because I haven't looked at my phone, then looked at it at work when I don't have the ability to have a decent conversation. Or some similar situation.

I am SO grateful that I have friends who put up with this sketchy behavior from me. I am So grateful that these friends accept that I'm a bad initiator... and do the initiating.

Honestly, It's better than I have any right to deserve. I try to make up for being flaky in this way by trying to be an exceptionally good friend to them in other ways.

I think that he is extremely interested in your friendship. I think he's just a disorganized sketchbag. Please try and understand that he values you WAY more than it may seem if you were to look at "who seems to always be contacting who first".

This guy is me. I love my friends.

... I think there's a few people I need to (am going to!) reach out to. Thanks for the kick in the ass. 🙂

[Spookydood]

Possible he isn't sure how to initiate conversations but is interested in talking, or he's got a lot going on. I know there are times where i just plain don't feel like chatting, and go a couple days without it. Some of us just aren't as naturally sociable.

[VanessaH]

I know he is a really social person and texts to others normally.

[Spookydood]

Dunno, then. It's possible he isn't all that into you.

[Daniela1982]

Be cause you are just a confidant and he probably has romantic interest / intentions with another.

[spartan55]

He's not acting in any unusual way, the way you describe it. You are seeing it a certain because you probably want to be more than friends. And why would he be interested when you said yourself there was nothing romantic going on?

[VanessaH]

Interested in our friendship, not in a romantic way. I'm a really busy person. But still I answer people during the same day and initiate conversations. So for me it's unusual. I have used to that people answer me quickly and initiate.

[spartan55]

Right. Well everyone isn't always going to fall in line and do things the way you want.

[Wise4myage]

That's rude in my opinion and you should ask him why he does that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s a really busy person and not sure what he really wants

[VanessaH]

So maybe he does not want to be my friend? I know he is busy but he is still online a lot and just ignores my messages for days. I am not needy, I send maybe one message in a month to start the conversation.

[Opinion Owner]

Once a month isn’t really much so that’s not bothering him maybe you need to make yourself more known by messaging him more often so it shows you are interested

[VanessaH]

I am confused. Why do I need to do all the work? I do not want to lose our friendship because of this emotional connection. But I feel that I am not important because he never initiates and takes ages to reply. And I hate to feel this way. I'm so close to end this friendship.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he is thinking the same thing, like why does he need to always initiate also

[Anonymous]

That guy sounds like a pro ಠ_ಠ!

[In_Trance]

he's busy