Guy's Behavior

What does he want from me?

A year ago, we never talked. The first time we hung out, he sensually felt my legs with his and we’re barely even close. I thought he was also interested in me so I asked him what he meant, the night after, and he told me he was only drunk. My self esteemed dropped. After the night, my friend had told him that I had feelings for him and I’ve never wanted him to know. Still, he tried to get physical with me every time we’re hanging out, drinking. He kept doing the same things every time but one night he tried to hold my hand and made me sleep on his shoulder. Sometimes he kept asking me like he wanted to take me home. We never texted except for when we needed something or wanted to ask questions. One night I confronted him through text while we’re together that I actually liked him for real and for him to stop doing that to me. He ignored me and acted like nothing happened the next day. Another time he tried to hold my hand again and made me sleep on his chest. We were high and drunk. Then, he took my hand and placed it on his part. I didn’t give in. So, for all the year, he was only trying to get laid with me? It made me feel so low. Though, I still would always find myself going back for his affections, it somehow made me happy. I’m so stupid. Every time we’re drunk, he would always trying to get affectionate and physical with me, though it was very low key. He was never straight forward. Is he a f boy? It’s like he doesn’t want to commit to me yet he still wants to keep me around. Is it because he knew that I like him? I feel so shitty. I’m not a victim but I do have my boundary. My friend told me that it’s either he’s “not sure” or he only wanted a “one time fun”. Yet, I still like him at the end of the day and it hurts. I couldn’t gather my guts and directly confront him about everything, asking him whatever I want to know. I’m so confused.
What does he want from me?
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