Guys, Men, how many of you still open the door for women?

[TrueConfection]

I just witnessed a father open 2 sets of doors, letting himself through first, and letting go while his little daughter barely squeezed through behind him.

WHAT is going on? Is this where society has gone?

Updates

+1 y

To those of you who say that you don't hold doors open because of feminism;

Do you think the father I watched could be sending a message to his young daughter that when a man holds a door open for her, the man is actually insulting her?

Updates

+1 y

Since posting this queston, I have really made saying, "thank you," more purposeful to the polite men. I've always said thank you, but now I am more aware and I make it a point to hold eye contact and speak up a little louder (am kinda shy).

I also had a woman be very rude to me about the door (for the second time in my life). Considering she was masked and I was not, I assume she just wanted to get her own for and not pass by me. I don't really know.

Updates

+1 y

I've never had a man be rude to me when I've held the door. So I thank you all for that.

[FunkyMonkee]

I still open doors and almost always get thanked for it. There''s been one or two times, about 30 years ago, where I did it for someone and she just blew right through the door without so much as looking at me, let alone THANKING me, and acted like she was some sort of queen and it was my JOB to do that so, no thanks were needed! As she was black, I have a feeling she considered it a kind reciprocal thing, like I owed it to her!!
There''s been a few times where I'm not even going into the store, just passing by, and I can see a woman coming towards the door and I'll open it fort her. A couple of those times, she seemed quite pleasantly surprised that I wasn't even going into the same store she was coming out of!

[TrueConfection]

Nice that you notice her coming and go out of your way. Yay! Gentleman! 😍

[FunkyMonkee]

Thank you, quite nicely!!
Well, I was just going past that door, anyway and, it'd only take a few seconds out of my life to open it for her. And, who knows, it just might spark up a new friendship. Just being nice to people has gotten me at least temporary friendship a few times.
The few that come to mind are this one time, I just walked out of a store and this girl going by was headed for the local Greyhound bus station, about a mile away, where my uncle used to work driving buses. I was going the same direction and, as we ended up walking side by side, she started talking to me and told me where she was going so, I took it upon myself to not only walk her to the depot because she wasn't sure where it was, and MY bus stop was right outside the place, but I also waited with her an hour or two for her bus. We got to be "good" friends in that time and, by the time Melanie got on the bus, she hugged and kissed me and even gave me her contact info. Sadly, I never got around to using that.
A couple years before, I went to see The Fixx and met a nice girl in the autograph line. We went to a bar a few blocks away (her decision, not mine) and talked for an hour or so, then she started walking home, about 2 miles away so, as it was after midnight, I wanted to see to it she got home safely and, as I was going that way, too (about a 15 mile walk), I walked her home. We got back to her place and I was ready to leave when she hugged me and started kissing me rather passionately and we stood there doing so in the drizzle for at least half an hour before I left. Nothing more came of that.

[FunkyMonkee]

7 years later and about 5 blocks from her place, I got talked into playing drums at a gig for a band that doesn't have a drummer. After we were done, I was sitting in the back not paying any attention to the next band on stage when this girl walked in to see them, stood in front of me and then apologized for blocking my view. I just told her it was okay, I wasn't watching them, anyway. This piqued her interested in me (as she later told me) and she sat and talked with me! We bumped into each other a couple weeks later, she took me back to her place to talk music and about a month later, she became my girlfriend and I came very close to marrying her!

[TrueConfection]

I LOVE these stories. Testimony that being polite instead of bitter is a happier way to live life. 💕

[FunkyMonkee]

Absolutely, hun!! There's a few other instances but, I didn't want to bore you with them.

[Cubus]

I always do this. And from my experience most men in my country do this.

[TrueConfection]

Thank goodness!

[Cubus]

Poland is quite traditional in comparision to West of Europe. We still practise such things.

[Cubus]

Thanks for most helpfut :)

[Cubus]

*helpful

[TrueConfection]

Thank you for the input. It's nice to know that other societies still carry on a tradition that seems to be turning into a social justice weapon in the west.

[Cubus]

Can I PM you?

[MrOracle]

I hold the door for everyone - man, woman, young, old, black white - whatever. If someone is coming behind me - unless their WELL behind me - I'm going to hold the door for them.

But if you want to know why men don't do that as much anymore, you absolutely SHOULD blame feminism.

The late 90's and the early 2000s were when radical feminism was at its peak, and I can recall 7 or 8 times that I got snide remarks or outright insults from women for holding a door for them - even when I was holding it for someone else - but two or three times I had women stop and start berating me for "pushing the patriarchy" and "insinuating that she was too weak to open the door herself" and other psychobabble. We're talking about shouting, finger-pointing, floor-stomping tirades as I stood there and held the door. And I'm far from the only man who was treated that way. My grandfather was screamed at by some woman for holding the door for my grandmother one time.

And in those incidents, there were other women around, but do you think any of them ever said a word? Not once. Even if they didn't agree, they "signed off" on that attitude with their silence, and a whole lot of men said "fuck this, they can open their own goddamn door" and haven't held a door since.

I know it's not fair for all women to take the blame for the actions of a few, except that the majority NEVER comes to the defense of men, and NEVER takes an active stand against those radical feminists, so, to a whole lot of men, they're endorsing it too. I don't feel that way personally, but I definitely understand why a lot of men feel that way.

I have advantages that most men don't have: I own my own business, so I don't have a boss that can fire me (only customers, but I stick to work at work), and I don't have to deal with an HR department staffed by Gender Studies majors, so I can hold open a door without fear of losing my livelihood. That's not true of a lot of men, so plenty of men today have said "you demanded equality - well, this is equality."

Men don't EVER expect this kind of treatment from anyone - and I almost always get a sincere "thank you" when I hold a door for a man, because they never expect it. With women, they either expect it, or they get infuriated by it, and as a man, we never know what we're going to get. So, a lot of men stopped caring, because feminists trained them to do so. If you don't like the results, don't take it up with men, take it up with the feminists.

[TrueConfection]

I see your point. So, would you day the father I mentioned is also a feminist?

[TrueConfection]

*say

[MrOracle]

No, I think he was just a man who had abandoned chivalry, since it was so poorly received and so rarely appreciated.

[Pyrofox]

I only do it if I get the sense I get a thank you or a smile >.> Its like the least you can do is appreciate I'm doing it.

I just think guys are tired of being treated like 8th rate citizens by those who won't take the time to say like thanks or flash a smile. A little appreciation goes a long way.

[TrueConfection]

I say thank you and so do my daughters. My husband and son and even myself will hold the door to be polite, even without a thank you. There are people who think they're too important to say thank you, but I'd rather be polite anyway.

[Pyrofox]

Well if your thank you is too valuable a smile works just as well. The least one can do is at least acknowledgement we exist. I think that if we acknowledged kindness as much as we sensationalize rage and anger maybe we would have more peaceful conversations instead of. Conflicts racing to how we can remove one anothers family jewels cause someone gave the wrong look.

[MCheetah]

No. You can thank feminism for killing gentlemanly manners.

I'll hold the doors open for my students, who are all kids. But grown women? No way. This is the world you wanted, ladies. The ones who said they "wanted equality" (although they actually meant ass-kissing privileges, not being sh*t on as much as men in society), but then expected men to kiss their asses for them as well.

THIS is what happens when you try to be nice to Western women in Current Year. So men stopped being nice to women in Current Year. You car breaks down? Yeah, good luck with that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EYHRISREPU

[TrueConfection]

Must be tough to go through life so bitter and so resentful.

[MCheetah]

Nothing you said discredited a single thing I commented on, so your response was pointless.

[TrueConfection]

I didn't expect anything more from you.

[Slartybartfast]

I can't argue with anything he said. Sad , but true.

[HighValue]

I try not to do anything extra for women. Unless I personally know the person and care about them I refuse to help.
Society is sexist against men so men shouldn't help women anymore. Twice I saw women in their vehicles broken down in the middle of the street and I didn't help either. Yep, I am 6' tall and 260 pounds and I let them fend for themselves.
One I don't know what happened because I left. The other one I was at a red light so I watch as 5 women got together to push one car out of the road. No men were helping, just watching. Good, that is how it is now. They wanted society that way, now they get nothing.

[DonkeyDan]

Oh yes i certainly do still hold a door for a lady, well actually I'll hold a door for anyone.
I've actually been verbally abused in the past by a woman for holding a door open for her, i think she might have been a feminist 🤣

[TrueConfection]

To be fair, that actually happened to me once too! I held the door for a woman going into the same store as me and she told me not to do her any favors. I assumed she was having a bad day.

[DonkeyDan]

Its crazy how some people can take offense to a nice gesture.

[dangerDoge]

I hold the door for men/women who are following me. I haven’t been yelled at once by any radical feminist, and if I did, I know I’d be in the right, so let them yell and make a fool of their self. I think it’s nice to do, and I appreciate when someone opens the door for me. The only time I didn’t see people open doors was during university, but that was because everyone was tired of life and/or rushing to class lol

[Lliam]

I do. Okay, well I don't open car doors for my wife, but whenever we are entering or exiting someplace, I open the door and let her go first. It's just a polite, gentlemanly habit.

I'll hold doors for other people, too, including guys. Like if I'm exiting a building and someone else is approaching, I'll open the door and stand aside so that they can pass. Almost every one politely says thank you. What's interesting is, the only people who sometimes don't are women, but that's rare.

[LesterJester]

I'll hold the door for anyone, regardless of gender... But if I'm there first, I go first. If someone is a few feet behind me, I'll hold it open for them, just for the sake of being considerate.

And depending on the situation and angle, I may just open the door and hold it for someone to enter first, guy or girl. If I'm in no rush or they got a pile of crap they're carrying, I'll hold it.

Otherwise, If you're a ways back, I'm not hanging around and I am not going to stand there for 10-30 seconds holding a door open. I got shit to do, y'all got your own arms, hands & muscles and doors aren't difficult to operate... Figure it the hell out on your own.

[HawkPerception]

I hold the door for anyone directly behind me regardless of gender. If there is a long and constant flow of people coming in through the door, I usually just push it hard enough so the other person barely has to push it or can just walk through right away.

[ohshee]

Of course. I didn't really have too many people in my life growing up but I did know who I wanted to be even back then I could feel and see things deeper than most people and all I knew was I was going to be kind gentle and help people when I could and a badass well I did everything but becomes a badass and I'm happy with a smile yes I still open doors I say hello I smile I treat people the way that I want to be treated and I will always be this person

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I hold doors open for everyone, it's kind of common courtesy. Sure, about 15% of people (best guess) in my experiences will not hold a door for anyone, and if I'm being honest it's not out of malice, but more of a lack of quality upbringing and zero situational awareness.

[ChrisMaster69]

I work off principle if I get to door first I open and hold it for anyone, ideally handing it off to next person to pass to next etc.

however always hold for old people n kids

[ChrisMaster69]

@TrueConfection ref update, yeah some people are just rude and obnoxious.

Example I used below for one is
80 yr old woman shopping at Christmas with bags, people would not open the door because of feminism, that’s just shit.

[TrueConfection]

I agree. It's just an excuse for their horrible attitude.

[ChrisMaster69]

See the ‘conversation’ I am having with the Anon,

First thing he asked ‘what’s her race’

Like wtf rude and a racist fuckwit

[TrueConfection]

Yes, and sadly he's not alone.

[ChrisMaster69]

Mainly the usual Anon cowards.
The ‘oh mummy the big boys pick on me’ type.

The world is better off without those racist fuckwits.

[humpbackjack]

I hold the door for women children and men it’s something small that we can do to share a little bit of kindness I also give up my seat to others and let people into my lane if I see they’re trying to get over and I say man sir and thank you even of course don’t get me wrong I’m no saint and really these are just some little things I picked up from my dad

[AdithyaR]

I hold the door for anyone who's close behind me, irrespective of who it is. The person either just walks past or thanks me as they pass me.
I don't consider it chivalry or something about being a man, it's a common courtesy of being a nice person.

[AdithyaR]

And on the off chance I meet someone who gets rude with me about holding the door, I'm not gonna stand there and listen, I'll ignore them and walk away.

[FinalFantasyBro]

I would if she had to many stuff within her hands or if I am trying to behave like a gentleman. Because I would still gladly open the door for the lady but I know not all women would want to have a random guy opening up doors for them so it depends if she wants the help or not.

[KieranByrne]

I only hold the door open if they are behind me, or enterin or exciting at the same time as me! I do not expect a 'Thank you' but it is polite when they do so!

I do this to both male and female, although thinking about it, I do not know why. As people have been rough and rather abrupt with me while growing up!
Punched, kicked, bitten, other things!

[NamerOfStars]

What's going on is that people have finally realized that women are not, in fact, too stupid to figure out how to open a door for themselves. And increasingly, people aren't sexist enough to think that others should have things done for them simply because of their sex. Why is this so hard to understand? Did you think that discrimination is only bad when it negatively affects you?

Holding the door open for the person behind you is simple kindness- but that has nothing to do with sex.

[TrueConfection]

Well, call me sexist. My husband still likes to open doors for me and I love it and say thank you. He does the same for other women too.

[NamerOfStars]

I didn't say that you couldn't, merely that opening that door is opening it to some serious unpleasantness, too.

[TrueConfection]

I hope that's not the norm and doesn't sour you. Men hold the for for me all the time and I pause to make eye contact and thank them. I've only seen one woman be a jerk.

Actually, a week ago, a dad and his two little boys (not older than 4 or 5) were coming into the coffee shop I was going out of. Dad held the door open and told his boys to let me go first. It was so sweet. I thanked each one.

[NamerOfStars]

Would you have found it sweet if it had been for your skin color instead of your chromosomes?

[TrueConfection]

Ohhhh... You want to argue about race? I'm not playing. Sorry.

[NamerOfStars]

No, I want to point out that bigotry is bigotry. One can no more choose their sex and their race, and saying that people deserve special treatment for one is no different from saying they deserve it for the other.

[Adam1978]

I don't do it for women, I do it for people, ie gender is irrelevant. But only in the path I am walking and if they are going the same way. If see someone with extra trouble, I might delay to help. But otherwise I only do it in my small bubble.

[AviatorTom]

I almost always open the door for a woman. I say always because sometimes a woman opens the door for me.

[Icarus___]

I always hold the door open for someone - regardless of gender. I don't really care if anyone thanks or acknowledges me for it, it's just a simple selfless act that takes very little effort - karma hack ;)

I will say, I actually LOVE when the feminists get upset about this - like, overcome with a deep sense of satisfaction and joy. So.. I suppose it's not all selfless, as I get my hopes up every time the person I'm holding the door for is a woman

[Joshua_L_Blackmon]

no , I open doors for women, but only ones I know or the old or young. Thats how society has always been.. go back to the 50's you never catch a man dead opening a door for a women he doesn't know , especially if he's with his girl. female expectations and dumbass society thinks it was suppose to be for all women. this was never the case.

[Anonymous]

I open doors for anyone, but the first time a woman berated me for it I said 'Fine sod off I you cannot accept common courtesy' walked through the door and let it close behind me.

[TrueConfection]

Well, she deserved that reaction, but that's probably what she wanted. I would have smiled and told her to have a nice day.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't care what she though because that door was not operating on auto open that day and most people were having problems opening it, the thought of her fighting to get the door open warms my heart, I was having problems holding the door and I'm 6'2" 250lb and she was about 5'1" 90lb.

[TrueConfection]

😳 lol

[Dayman343]

I open the door for anyone, not just women. Sometimes when they don't acknowledge it, I always sarcastically say, 'You're welcome'.

[TrueConfection]

My husband does that too.

[DryGermanGuy]

Holding the door open for other people is common courtesy. And I sincerely hope it stays that way.

[l2igorous]

Fuck courtesy. It's what society tells you to do.

[DryGermanGuy]

@l2igorous You must have led a horrifying life.

[l2igorous]

Lmao horrifying for looking out for myself? Yea, TOTALLY

[l2igorous]

I guess it's ironic how i'm working in the medical field but don't give a rat's ass about getting to know people. But you can bet that I'll be the first to save your life if something happens. After that, you're on your own once everything has settled down.

[DryGermanGuy]

@l2igorous I feel weird for even having to tell you this, but by showing common courtesy, you're not taking away one iota of what you call "looking out for yourself". Rather the opposite, actually.

[l2igorous]

I feel weird saying this but, I feel like you're an idiot who has to do what society tells them to do simply because they're too afraid to be different and bold. Actually, that wasn't weird at all. Kind of enjoyed it

[DryGermanGuy]

@l2igorous Wooow, "different and bold", is it? That sounds like an epitaph on a headstone. "He died in a traffic accident, because he made up his own rules. But he was so different and bold!". I would think it's okay to be childish, as long as you are still in primary school. For an adult it's rather embarrassing.
Are you a Trump voter, by any chance? Just guessing here.

[l2igorous]

It's interesting that you assume myself to e a trump supporter as those with conservative values tend to believe in the moral values that you're trying argue about lol but please continue to use that as your excuse of avoiding my points and deflecting.

[l2igorous]

But men who hold doors open for women do it for common courtesy and not to try and please a woman simply by impressing her? Men have stated that they do the chivalry thing to swoop a woman off her feet and then once they're done getting laid, they leave them and never get back to them. Lmao I'd rather be the dick and not do things for others while letting them be happy for themselves.

[l2igorous]

Here's something that you could learn from. Why don't you keep an open mind and learn to accept that others will have a different outlook from yourself.

[DryGermanGuy]

@l2igorous Your understanding of the societal fabric is on par with your understanding of politics, no? The conservative people who follow moral and courtesy have rather little to do with the Trumpian disfigurement of the current GOP. That's why his supporters would choose exactly words like "different and bold" to describe him.
Also, I never wrote anything specifically about women. I wrote "people", as in general. I'd even hold the door open for a stuck transportation robot or an animal. It costs me nothing.

[l2igorous]

You talk about politics as though you know one side from the other but can't identify a Democrat even when one is in front of you. Now you're choosing to deflect by talking about politics and what they would choose to say or act simply because you're refusing to accept when someone doesn't agree with you. Just like a republican would do. How ironic

[Levin]

I don't get this issue. I open the door for everyone. Not because of chivalry, but just because I'm not a douchebag.

[Wgatap999]

I always do it it's not because it's gentleman-like it's just a proper thing to do for a lady otherwise it's fucking rude

[WakeSkateNut2126]

Ohh of course. Why wouldn’t you? I’ll open them for girls, hold them open for guys. It’s just courteous.

[Danny_dan92]

I do. And in elevators I always say ladies first.


Besides there’s perks to this, if she has a nice ass I get to check her out as she appreciatively walks out.


Sorry, not sorry

[IAMNathanael]

Sure. I'll open the door for any man or woman if they're close enough. I'll go out of my way to open it for my mom.

[WhiplashMonkey]

I hold the door open for anyone if they’re male or female if I’m passing through the door or on my way out. It’s just common courtesy.