Why do guys reach out first but not respond or respond properly?

[Anonymous]

I sent a drunk message out to this guy on fb a year ago that was quite rude and I apologized. He never responded to my apology.

This Thanksgiving he reached out to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and even said (love you!)..(platonically)

I did respond in a matter of 2 minutes bc the text had stopped the music playing on my ipad so I checked it out and responded asap. I was very happy to see that it was him tho

Anyway.. I responded happy Thanksgiving etc... then I said "sorry to hear about your grandmother, she will be missed!

all he did was heart the message like 2 or 3 hours later..

soft ghosted and I hate feeling like Im not important enough to respond back too

[Jamie05rhs]

That wasn't a ghost. He was grieving the loss of a loved one. What did you expect him to say? That's like interviewing someone after they lose the Super Bowl.

[Asker]

but to only be a thought when you're lonely or bored... he was not there for me when i was in need

[Jamie05rhs]

When were you in need? And how would he have known that?

[Asker]

I was kind of showing signs of mental distress on social media. I started posting half naked pics on social media etc.. he knows thats not my character.. and I reached out to him to congratulate him before I sent the drunk text months before.

[Jamie05rhs]

So he's supposed to assume something about you based on the photos you post? Is he God?

[Asker]

if your friend who you have known since you were 4 is having strange behavior / showing signs of depression.. you wouldn't reach out? imagine a female friend acting VERY unlike herself on social media

[Jamie05rhs]

@Bubbles9997 I would just assume she had turned to the Dark Side and she was too far gone to save. I have no faith in the female gender anymore; sorry. Even if you try to help them, they won't listen anyway. They're too prideful and stubborn. But if it was one of my bros, then yeah, I would try to reach out and try to slap some sense into him.

[Asker]

thats not an excuse to not be there for someone.. you dont come back and say "love you" over text like nothing happened. You dont do that to people you claim to love. The next time he text me I will probably tell him to delete my number and I wish to move on with my life.. finding better people.

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm. Maybe you have a point. I don't know.

[Asker]

thank you

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome. 😌

[Asker]

am I wrong to tell him that or? should i just not say anything

[Jamie05rhs]

No, I don't think you were wrong. What you said was very appropriate. You didn't do anything wrong at all.

[OlderAndWiser]

You can't be important to everyone and you can force yourself into someone else's life to occupy a position in their heart.

[Asker]

what do you think about the guy? am i overthinking or?

[OlderAndWiser]

Just sounds like he's not interested, either because he already has a relationship, or just because he isn't into you.

[Asker]

then why would he reach out

[OlderAndWiser]

Not sure. Maybe he sees you as a remote backup plan in case his current relationship fizzles. Maybe he thinks you would be open to just being a fuck buddy if he asked.

[Asker]

he lives in a different state and he def can find any other girl to screw that looks a lot better than me

[PrettyPriya]

Do you want the honest answer? He doesn't care in my opinion. The second you had a tragedy he said his sorry and split.

I'd leave that one be.

[Asker]

righttt! I'm hurt tbh. I've known him since I was a kid tho.

Please give me more advice on what I should do. How can I hurt him

[PrettyPriya]

Don't hurt him. Be the bigger person. Let me tell you about people who take revenge, it haunts them. Just walk away. He will be way more upset than you in the very near future.

Not worth stooping to his level of inconsiderate. Best advice I can give.

[Asker]

what if i kind of love him tho?

should I tell him to delete my number

[PrettyPriya]

Don't even tell him anything. You cut ties with him. Why tell him to delete your number. I'm sorry but it sounds like you are looking for an excuse to make it work.

If that is so, I can't help you. Just be done with him. I know it is hard. Have to do it. You will thank me one day.

[Asker]

Okay, I'll try to.

[Asker]

one more thing.. then why was he so nice and excited to text me? He said

Hey Chelsea! This is _____. Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving! *turkey emoji. Love you!

was that not nice or whats your opinion on that?

[PrettyPriya]

That is nice. I'm just saying if he loses interest that quickly, not a good sign.

Listen, I'm only giving my opinion based on what details you give. You know the situation better than all of us. If I'm wrong, great! then go for it!

I'm just telling you what I think about the facts I know. I hope it works out for the both of you. I really do. If it doesn't, I'll feel really bad for you. Best of luck. ❤️

[Asker]

Its mixed feelings bc he has seemed to reach out.. he followed and liked my pics. He asked my step sister why I seem to ignore him (even tho I was just dealing with depression) but I don't know he is a athlete and quite self centered.. its just that he has showed caring signs but it all could be based on his convience like you said.. I was showing signs of depression and mental health on fb and he never just reached out. I guess he didn't really care or he was annoyed... either or not good

[PrettyPriya]

@bubbles9997

Thank you kindly for MHO. ❤️

[Asker]

no problem!

[LegendaryIcon]

never send drunk messages

i think the girl i like did that the other day... it's like talking to a wall, id rather talk to the wall

[Asker]

it was over a year ago..

[LegendaryIcon]

like i said, DONT DO IT

[Asker]

I WAS DRUNK

[LegendaryIcon]

exactly

[mark000h]

Some people hate texting or are really bad at it.

[Asker]

he's had a lot of girlfriend I doubt thats the case

[Avicenna]

They aren‘t serious

[PeterSmith1983]

They are lazy