Why do girls not reach out to guys?

Question

It seems like most girls need the guys to initiate the conversation 99.9% of the time. Why is that?

SportySpock · Accepted Answer

I’m just going to be honest on this, based on experience.

It’s somewhat smart of girls not to reach out first.
Look, we men have preferences just like anyone else, things that make us more likely to commit and want to be serious with the girl. But say an attractive girl approaches us and she’s not that category that we so richly like, she’s still attractive so we decide to give it a shot. She ends up hurt.

I’ve done this several times because women do approach me and I know what I like. The women who approach me don’t usually fall into what I really like, but they can be very attractive. I’ve learned to be honest after hurting people and just tell her she’s not really what I’m looking for even though she’s beautiful, but I take responsibility for it and I understand why women see this as a reason to just let the guy approach.

On top of that, women love confidence. I like to approach her myself. I appreciate when they approach me but honestly I’d rather approach her.

Nirmroth · Accepted Answer

They actually do more often than guys. A girl will give you the eyes/ seek eye contact and smile if she is interested, basically signaling you to make the approach.

Its just honestly very hard to read if you dont know about those choosing signals as guy.

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

Well I feel like there is no point in me being here saying things that are not true that I think make me sound good. And the honest answer is, we pretty much do not need to do this, at least, me being 26 years old and thinking back to high school up to now for me and people I know, it does not seem necessary or even helpful. The chances of getting embarrassed or even getting a negative rep are pretty high and what is the point when guys approach us pretty often so we can moreso react to guys who approach us. I hope that doesn't sound bad or something I am just being honest.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Most girls do initiate conversations. You might need to get out more.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

You're talking to the wrong girls- most of us DO initiate conversation... if we're interested in a guy. The fact that they're not starting a conversation with you says they're probably not interested, or don't feel any connection with you.

Heck, I even start conversations with my guy friends, if nothing else to check in or say hi. If I don't initiate a conversation with a guy, it's because he doesn't put the effort in, is bad at talking/holding conversations, or he gives of a "I don't want to be bothered" vibe.

Naruse · Answer

Because it's a social convention. Why do girls rely on men to ask them out? Because it's the norm. Why don't most guys wear make up or tights? We used to. Our behaviour is greatly influenced by societal norms, which is typically reinforced by our status in society.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Those that are attractive don’t need to make the effort.
All attractive women need to do is stand still, smile and make eye contact. The conversations will come to them.
If the guy is above average in looks, he is less threatening and more approachable.
Women that are not as attractive are forced to be bolder, more straightforward with her intentions, and sometimes even aggressive in their attempts to get a man to notice her.

Anonymous · Answer

the first reason is I hate the notion that I may be “chasing” a man and I have the wrong impression and the second reason is I would rather spare myself the slight embarrassment of rejection, I’m not entitled to a yes from everyone but I also would rather not hear a no lol. so I guess it’s just cowardice.

normalice · Answer

They do but it's never in a way that suggests intimacy because that's not what's first and foremost on their minds. Friendship with someone who doesn't judge them the way other girls judge them is usually the first thing they want.

SixFootSexy · Answer

Behold, a video I wish I would've had when I was 20. If you're not getting hit up by women who are strangers, this might be why.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

think about media and how it portrays the dude approaching the girl 9 times out of 10... the stories parents will pass down with similar stories.

desidoll · Answer

If she is interested, she will. I do the same.

Finchie40 · Answer

If she isn’t interested then that’s the reason why , cuz when a girl is interested she will initiate a conversation

Monalisa77 · Answer

scared of rejection, anxiety they secretly hate us or just want to use us for a shag and that theyll take advantage

Starrrboy · Answer

If she's really interested she will.. also a lot of girls are shy or just playing it safe to not seem desperate or easy cuz apparently that's a big concern for them lol..

Magosmall06 · Answer

I do initiate the conversation but I tend to get ghosted a lot so I don’t bother much anymore

Tomisworthless · Answer

they do but only the hot guys they desire everyone else is considering beneath them and have to fight to earn her

sheikalana · Answer

They're waiting on guys to reach out to them.

genericname85 · Answer

cause guys reach out to them. no need to put effort if your demand is already fullfilled right?

Momma-404 · Answer

If a man likes/wants to be with you, he should be the one doing the pursuing & chasing. I hate this whole stigma these days that the men should be chased by the girls & that’s how the relationship should start

Anonymous · Answer

Strangers that are girls are shy and fear rejection like at the mall and grocery store. Now if you have talked to them before and they dont initiate a conversation they are not interested

Pohjolan · Answer

Plenty of gals initiate conversations with men whom they find unreplusive. Doesn't mean that they are attracted to them though.

dolemite58 · Answer

girls have so many options/get so much free attention, most just have the privilege of being lazy in that department 🤷‍♂️

Anonymous · Answer

Bc I have anxiety and I feel like I am not good enough

Anonymous · Answer

It's a combination of entitlement and cowardice.

Anonymous · Answer

They still think it’s the guys position to approach

VictorMachiavelli · Answer

They do if the guy is attractive enough.

NewgodOmega · Answer

Coz they got 6000 options

Yannae · Answer

Brainwashed by society.

Sasha0426 · Answer

I don’t really like people.

In_Trance · Answer

That's not my experience at all

Slim57 · Answer

Because they don't have to

Why do girls not reach out to guys?

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