So my boyfriend and I were getting into a argument. When I asked him why he responds to his friends through texts, during his work hours. Instead of me coming first.
He Then explained to me that with his friends, it’s just simple texting that he doesn’t worry about. During his work time. While with me, he wants to give me all of his attention whenever he is not busy.This bothers a lot of women with their partners about feeling coming in second in their lives. Women want to come in first for their partner. Especially being responded back right away through texting or calling.
But if this is common among men to respond to their friends before their partners. Can the men please explain why?
Why do men respond more with their friends through texts than with their women?
Because I feel like texting a woman is more complicated than texting a mate. I don´t know if it´s true about other guys but I feel like your boyfriend. While with guys you can text write away what comes first to your mind, it takes more time to text a woman because we don´t want to mess it up. Because we´re not talking to you face to face we don´t have gestures to show what we mean, we just have words. Because written words can be understood multiple ways we wanna make sure that you understand us the way we mean it. We know that women tend to think thoroughly about we say and write so we are afraid to hurt your feelings by texting you what comes first to our mind. Because we know that our mates/guy friends think similar to us, we´re less afraid of hurting them because we know they are harder to be offended. Is that more helpful?
You aren't coming in second. The thing is with guys it is easy to get to the point by following the 5 W format, who, what, when, where, why. Clear, concise and fast and easy to respond to.
When it comes to women we have to give you our full attention and no distractions because you go into a lot of depth about what happened and how it made you feel. Plus, you really want to argue over text/phone?
Tho people usually say it's cuz the courtship phase ended already Lol.
But it doesn't really mean he doesn't care for u, maybe it's just his way of being
Ya know, when we girls receive a message of our best friend girl telling us the latest news of what's going on? We're always usually excited to know, right?
Growing up with all male friends I do get his perspective.. and agree with him. I’ve noticed some female friends expect this from their SO. With men you will get more with less pressure or remove pressure completely. Short silly or sexy texts once a day (that don’t need a reply) is a better way of reaching him meaningfully if he’s busy. Save everything else for when he’s home.
It’s the opposite when his friends are the normal part of his life and you are the fun new addition. His attention is on you! As you become his normal, he doesn’t need to text you all the time. It’s a good thing. The friends are the fun thing because they’re not his normal. But don’t forget that he chose you to be his normal, not them. I’m willing to bet that your text conversations aren’t as exciting because you know so much about each other and see each other more. If you’re jealous, give him something exciting to text about. Text him about how you wanna go crazy on his body. Turn that dude on
Men put more strategy into their texts with women. You’ve already read various guys on here alluding to texts with women being exhausting, that’s why. Also, don’t be afraid to become a little scarce yourself. He’ll wonder wtf you’re up to if you’re the one taking half the day to reply and he will want to step up his game.
Because he's not prioritizing his romantic relationship.
Any happy man who views his woman as one of his best friends will respond to her equally. He may miss the occasional text here and there but you won't be having arguments about it because he won't be getting defensive. He would rationally say that he missed it and apologize. he won't blame you for being clingy.
You actually answered it yourself, you guys were getting into argument vs with friends he doesn't have to argue. So simply put if u want to come in first you have to bring more positive, relaxing energy and not more stress. He said ir with you its more stressfull, do you even listen? Hello
With guys texting is easy, it's simple we know there's no hidden meaning. With females you have to take time with your texts, so there's no autocorrected words that aren't corrected into female names, you have to make sure you word the texts in ways so that she doesn't see meaning where there is none.
If females didn't overthink and overanalyze everything said to them, it would be a lot easier to just text them.
Some yes, some no. I know for me sometimes I'll save my girl for last so that she can have my full attention. So I'll fire off quick responses to the others, then get to hers with my intention.
Guys I dated NEVER messaged me with text but they had nearly no free time to meet in person either but they wanted to keep me on the stick. Gtfoh lol. I’m not waiting for yo ass
You are assuming that if your boyfriend does that, then ALL men must do that? I don't think that generalization is true.
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Not ALL men, but most. I guess I should’ve gotten previous posts from different women posting similar topics as to mine. That I’m sure you have witnessed all too often. But you are right, this post doesn’t apply to you.
Texting is okay for "can you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home," but it is awful for most of the communications that need to occur between romantic partners. The reliance on digital communication is a huge problem for people under 40 today.
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