Why would he ask me this when he says he isn't in love with me? What do you guys think of this conversation?

[Anonymous]

So pretty much my ex initiated a conversation with me a month ago. Let's just say some interesting things were said. Well he has a girl that he has an on and off thing with. In this call he said that it didn't work out with them. He did make a point to say that the call wasn't because he was trying to be with me. He claims with closure. But he randomly popped up 3 weeks after saying we couldn't talk because they became official. I was trying to move on with and talk to someone else and he knew this. But anyway, there was a point in the convo where I was telling him about not being sure of my situation with the guy that I was talking to and he asked me if I loved the guy. I was caught off guard as to why he would care or wanted to know. I told him me and this guy hadn't met up yet but that I liked him. Then I don't know if it was after that or before but at one point he was like "ever liked someone but they don't make you feel the same way someone else does". Not sure what or who that was in reference to. But toward the end of the convo before I had to go, I was talking about my situation and just talking to another guy in general, and he trailed off saying, "I kinda feel like" and when I asked him what he was going to say, he said that he was distracted or something. One of my friends think that he doesn't like that I'm with someone else but that he can't say anything since he did the same thing. She said that because he asked if I loved the guy I was talking to and because he got awkward toward the end and trailed off with what he was going to say. Not sure really what to think of what he said, do you guys agree with my friend or what do you guys think of his feelings? He's like very hot and cold. This is all from a guy who says that he isn't in love with me.

[Anonymous]

I get what you mean. Sometimes guys don't want you, but doesn't want anyone else to want you. They don't want you to be happy, especially if they are not happy. Guys that are happy in their current relationships, always want to see you, do well.

[Asker]

Yeah and that’s the confusing part he’ll tell me he doesn’t want me to wait around for him but then he doesn’t seem to really want me with the other guy so I don’t get his deal?

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't matter what he wants. You gotta live your life and do what makes you happy.

[Asker]

I get that and I tried moving on with some other guy but that went left so bad. I was just trying to understand him is all, not really have suggestions on what to do for the future, I could have walked away or done away with him if I really wanted to but I choose to deal with him because I do still have an attachment to him. He was a lot of firsts for me.

[Opinion Owner]

But, he doesn't want to be with you. You will have to figure out how to detach yourself. I kinda have it bad; detachment! I unintentionally detach myself, and: when I realize it, I continue it.

[spartan55]

Just because he doesn't want you with another guy doesn't mean he is in love with you.

[Asker]

Never said that, but you got the same thing out of it that my friend does sounds like

[Asker]

I’m familiar with the concept of a guy not wanting you but not wanting anyone else to have you either

[spartan55]

Then why did you mention "this coming from the guy who says he doesn't love me". That doesn't imply that you think he does?

[spartan55]

Okay, you are familiar with it, but that's not the case here?

[Asker]

I said that in the end because I want to throw that in as a main point pretty much. This is how says he feels, this what he says. That part of him saying he wasn’t in love with me was apart of this convo as well. This was all one big conversation.

[spartan55]

Okay, not sure why you are trying to argue around that point, but whatever. Are you looking for signs he wants you back or something?

[Asker]

I’m really just trying to understand what’s going on in his head. What this question was about or should have been about is why is he asking me how I feel about another guy or even if I love the guy when he’s not in love with me? Like why would he care or feel that’s his business?

[spartan55]

Ugh, he's an ex forget him. Girls always have to 'understand' everything. There aren't always answers, much less answers you want to hear.

[Asker]

Well I just wanted to know. This site is to ask questions and get answers from what people think. If you weren’t going to give a helpful answer then go on about your business. You honestly didn’t help me really understand anything even better. I look forward to hearing what the guys have to say because since he’s a guy you guys could kind of give me some insight on what could be going through his head. Yes us girls are emotional and analyze a lot, get over it.

[spartan55]

Nice, like I said there aren't always answers. But you of course ignored that.