How do I talk to a shy guy?

[Alyssa_11]

This guy used to have a really big crush on me back at university lol. But he was very shy and quiet and also very smart.

I added him on social media a couple of weeks ago but I don't really know how to approach a shy guy?

For reference I am quite outgoing so I feel like it intimidated him when we were at university.

[De_La_BakedBeans]

Personally as a "shy guy" myself, the best method is to kind of be outgoing around him. Ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. If he accepts, you should probably start out going to somewhere like a coffee shop, having coffee, and walking around later, and sort of pulling him into trying out everything. But not too much pressure. He'll probably give in eventually, because all shy guys secretly want to do stuff and have fun wit other people. If you like him, you could try holding his arm when walking or something, especially if he's a hands-in-pockets guy. It gives a guy a little more confedence when there's a girl holding his arm or walking close to him. Kind of stereotypical, I'll admit, but it works...

[Koalamate]

Solid advice mate

[Alyssa_11]

Interesting... thank you. I did try to hang out with him before but he was so hard to break out of his shell. Thanks again.

[Koalamate]

It takes time, if you find out a place he goes on his own he's comfortable In let him take you there he might come out of his shell more.

[dsgaboy]

Tell him how you feel!!! You already know he likes you, what else do you want? You women are difficult when you don't have to be geeze

[Alyssa_11]

Fair enough lol

[slatyb]

Invite him to lunch or coffee or whatever. He probably figures you are out of his league.

When I was in my 20’s I was crushing in my stylist. But I figured she was too cool to date a nerdy guy like me. She was crushing on me too, but figured she wasn’t smart enough to date me.

Ask him out.

[bowenw]

He may get tongue-tied if he gets nervous, so try not to overwhelm him. Try to put him at ease so he feels comfortable with you. Ask him simple questions and be patient. You may have to take the lead until he calms down, for example invite him to join you for lunch or coffee instead of waiting for him to make a move.

[Anonymous]

A reminder of why do I get the feeling it will forever be extremely rare for women to approach a guy or for women to be the initiator in terms of starting a relationship

[Alyssa_11]

I feel like it’s not very feminine energy of me to do that

[Opinion Owner]

Then I wonder why you're asking this question then, if you feel it's against you to approach a guy

[Alyssa_11]

I feel it isn't but I am open to learning new things :)

[Opinion Owner]

Tons of guys in the world hate and resent how they are always expected to approach or make the first move

[Alyssa_11]

I guess so

[Opinion Owner]

Unfortunately I doubt it will ever change

[Cubus]

I would say: make him feel worth and needed. Give him signs that he has a chance with you and you are interested. It would give him boost in confidence

[loveslongnails]

"Hey shy guy - I don't bite (unless you want me to!) Come talk to me."

[Tstrbrainer]

Go out and talk to him, like old friends and make him feel valued.
Get to know him, ask nice questions

[bretonme]

Have you talked to him yet?

[Alyssa_11]

No!! Looool

[bretonme]

Why not?

[Alyssa_11]

It's intimidating to talk to a shy guy. I don't know how to make him come out of his shell and I feel like I might be making him uncomfortable.

[bretonme]

Only way way to try. Its talk to him