How do I politely turn down a guy after a date, that he thinks went great?

[anonbrunette99]

He says: “Hi (my name) I had a great time last night!!! (Heart emoji) how are you today?”

yup… seems the ones i want to date don’t want to date me and the ones that want to date me i don’t want to date … he held my hand and I felt quite uncomfortable… he’s kind he paid for everything so I feel very guilty I was hoping he’d have ghosted me

Updates

+1 y

update; I given short replies and didn’t reply often seems he taken the hint and let it be

[TonyV]

Don't worry so much about being polite, focus more on accurately saying what the problem was.

I don't need girls sugar coating shit and saying bs like your a great guy just not my type, that stupid shit make me want to jump off a bridge, you can be polite and still say the problem. Clearly the dude is moving to fast, he got to intimate to fast of you didn't like the hand holding. Start off with the hard truth, "this isn't going to work out", then explain alittle we clearly want different things, you were nice but you are moving way to fast, that's not what I want"

I don't know something like that

[AmandaYVR]

Short replies, and not replying, do sometimes get the point across.

But for next time, think about the more mature and respectful approach. Don't leave them wondering. Just figure out some standard, semi-vague response. "Thank you so much for dinner. It was very nice to meet you. You seem like a nice person.
But I do feel that a spark was missing, at least for me. I don't want to waste your time or leave you hanging, so I think it's best if we part ways now. But thank you so much for everything. I enjoyed getting to know you.
Take care and all the best,
X"

That might be too formal for you. But you get the idea. Tweak it, as suits your personality.
Ghosting is really not a good option, going forward. Yet many people will do it, and it will just cascade the normalcy of it. Which is not good for peoples' mental health. Better to be kind, but be at least somewhat honest.

[sheikalana]

The best to do it is to be honest and say something like "hey I'm sorry but I'm actually not interested"

[Madhatter920]

I'd be polite, but direct and honest. "I'm doing alright, but I don't think this is going to work. You're a nice guy and you didn't do anything wrong, but I just didn't feel the connection I was looking for. I'm sorry, but I wish you the best."

Something to that effect, I think, is the best you can do. Right?

[RealMarek]

Just thank him for the date and for being a gentleman, then tell him unfortunately you don’t think the two of you are compatible for a serious relationship.

You should probably consider what it is about the guys you want to date (who don’t want to date you) that the other guys are lacking.

[anonbrunette99]

Honestly the ones that want to date me that I don’t want are usually awkward, shy, unstylish kinda introverted, I get the vibe they haven’t considered if I’m a good partner and they just are attracted to me and think I’m a nice person so cling onto that. ones that I like that don’t like me are usually outgoing, well groomed, stylish. I found some middle ground in a man he was like in between the two types I just described and we dated for months but in the end it didn’t work out, perhaps I have to find that middle ground again, or keep self improving till I catch what I’m looking for

[RealMarek]

I think you have the right idea. If the middle ground can work, focusing there is a good idea. And self-improvement is always a good pursuit.

[GlassTop]

Next time, offer to split the bill on dates. Don’t hold hands in you aren’t interested. And you could just be straight forward instead of avoidance and ghosting that woman oh so love to do. Tell him simply you enjoyed the date but you aren’t interested in continuing contact. He’ll understand, maybe ask why, and just tell him. Guys love straight answers and even respect it. I know it’s almost impossible for girls to be straight forward, but it will solve so many problems.

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

Just tell him you enjoyes the date as well but you dont feel a connection and dont see it going any further.

[Anonymous]

I'd simply say something like "thank you for the date, but I realized that we're not a match and I'm sorry but I'm not interested in a second date. But I wish you luck in your search." Be direct and honest, but you also don't have to go into detail either or "explain". Keep it brief and to the point, but still friendly. Just think if it was reversed, and what you would want to hear if it was you.

[Lonewulf57]

There's something to be said for honesty. That said, brutal honesty is not desireable, but sometimes guys need to be told that way, if they are too thick to pick up on the gist.

[wingattebaby16]

just say you had a nice time, but right now you are not interested in a 2nd date.

simple.

and if he bugs you, quietly block him..

[Smartgirl_hey]

Don't block. Blocking is a bad way and will be considered as bad manners. If he bugs up, then she can change her number or else archive his chat and mute the notifications and not reply

[Anonymous]

He might really like you. But if you don't like him and want to turn him down, just make him understand in a respectful way without making him feel offended but by offending yourself. Just say him that he deserves a better girl than you

[DonkeyDan]

Very say "thank you, it was a nice evening, but this isn't for me, good luck in your search for the right girl." And leave it at that.

[varan69]

Why don't u just be honest to him before he gets his hopes up or likes you more. Just tell him u rather either be friends and as time goes then just get to know each other. Maybe he won't like something from u or vice versa

[transgirl09]

Just tell him what u feel qnd he will probably understand

[dragoblack]

Be honest with him. No guy wants to feel used & confused when they think everything is going well. And if he ends up being toxic and butthurt about it, then block him.

[Ray123456]

Why did you accept the date in the first place if you don't like him?

[anonbrunette99]

I hadn’t known his personality yet I had only seen him once in a dimly lit club briefly and his pics on social media are quite old. I thought I’d take a chance on him cause it might just surprise me lol..

[Bklynbadboy12]

I don't understand this if you don't want to date him then why did you go on a date with him you do realize if you go on a date with him you're dating him! Women are so confusing

[Fireguy17]

Just politely tell him you just don't see or feel a future together.

[Mark987]

Just tell him honestly. You enjoyed your time together but you didn't feel a connection

[Waldoe]

just be honest... you will doing him a favor... "I enjoyed dinner, BUT I didn't feel a connection"

[jahaims]

Just say you enjoyed his company but aren't romanticly interested

[yucel_eden]

Tell him why you don’t like him like that and that you can be friends…don’t over complicate

[UdontNeedtoknow]

just be honest with him. Its better that way. Normal guys learn to deal with rejection as teenagers.

[Nazorella]

Please be kind and tell him your reasons.

[VikingWarLord]

One word answers and ghost

[awkward_author]

Tell him you're no longer interested.

[Uptowngirl88]

Go ghost🤷🏾‍♀️. That's what a man would do

[noohair]

Honesty is the best policy.

[EaterPeter]

I am sorry I did not felt the spark you've felt?