How can I reject a guy nicely?

Question

ChiTown33 · Accepted Answer

You can't and it's not even advisable to try.
Would you rather be shot 5 times in the stomach and slowly bleed to death or get shot once in the head and lights out immediately. Because the former is what happens when you try to be nice.
Be clear in your message there may be a girl interested in him but it isn't you and that isn't changing. Trust me he can take the rejection. And if he can't he needs to learn. Life isn't going to get easier.
Now be prepared he's likely to be angered by your rejection. You just insulted him by rejecting him. He put himself out thete and you told him he's not good enough. For that he has a right to be angry. This is a thing a lot of women don't get. If they were friends they want things to go back to the way they were. But you need to understand a line has been crossed and that might not be possible again. And you HAVE to be good with that. Because you don't get a say in it.
This however DOES NOT mean he has the right to be verbally abusive. But understand guys are not able to show "weak" emotions like crying the way women do. So we show it in anger. So if he's angry understand you've wounded his pride.
Good luck!

GingerGuy · Accepted Answer

Remember you don't have to "explain" or give reasons. Be direct and keep it simple, and don't make him feel bad for asking. The best one I've ever got...

"Thank you so much for asking, but I'm sorry I'm not interested."

That's it, nothing else needs to be said. If the guy persists, simply restate that. I'd say, "I'm not looking for anyone right now" or something (never tell him it's him or anything about him, even if it is lol). And if he continues still, then you might have to be a little more firm and let him know he's boarding on harassment now, and he should be very careful! lol But hopefully it won't get to that point.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Well, ultimately, there's nothing nice about it. Saying you aren't interested hurts. Be straight. I enjoy your company, but I'm not interested in taking this further than friendship.
If the person wants a reason, stop the convo right there. If you have to, politely leave. If you're talking on the phone, say you have to go. If it's an email or texting convo, end it with, my reason is I'm not interested.
If they won't accept what you've said, block them and get on with your life.

lol20075 · Accepted Answer

I've been rejected once, and if I remember correctly he told me "Sorry, I like you as a person but I don't see you in that way..."

A rejection is going to hurt nonetheless, but don't add more salt to the wound by inserting a comment about his personality or looks, ex. you're not my type. To me that phrase translates into "You're ugly/undesirable"

Citizenkirk · Answer

The "It's not you, it's me." line has been done to death, and it wasn't any good too begin with, unless you intend for your words to be dripping with insincerity as you simultaneously crush his heart, and insult his Intelligence in one lame verbal Dear John Speech.
That is what it is, a dear John Speech, because your dodging responsibility just as much with that stupid line, as you would be writing the cowardly letter avoiding the consequences of looking him in the eye while telling him the lies that will make you feel better about yourself, and do squat for his self esteem. To be difference between the speech and the letter is that you can edit the letter over and over again until you get it right where you only get one chance to tell the convincing lie face to face and it's never convincing.
Most guys are not stupid don't tell them it's not you it's me because the guy always knows that it's him and the only thing you're accomplishing by saying that is that you think he's an idiot on top of whatever other faults he has that you can't stand to be around.
If most guys are like me they'll appreciate your candor more than your b******* so just lay it out flat to him. You don't have to be spiteful about it, unless that will make you feel better in some way, I guarantee that nothing you can say will make him feel better. As far as a nice way of rejecting him if he already in a relationship there's no such thing, and if he's just meeting you for the first time, still no such thing, but you can minimize the emotional sting by not letting him have the opportunity to think that he has a chance with you in the first place.
"Sorry 😐, but you're just not my type." The tried but true, way to let him know he doesn't have a chance with you, is not polite, but it certainly is not as insulting as the verbal or the written rejections we just mentioned.

Anonymous · Answer

Give him closure. I bet no one else said this. Tell him you don't want to date him and then tell him why. Don't sugar code it or lie to him. He is going to feel bad either way unless he is getting many girls. At least give him the chance to have closure and know what he can do to better himself for the next girl. She will thank you. Don't be one of those girls who says... well he came up to me, if he doesn't wanna get hurt then don't do that. No. Maybe you're perfect guy will come up to you one day. It takes a lot for some guys to make a move. And a lot of you girls could not do this and you know it. Treat men with respect and not like they are a dime a dozen. At least that is what PUAs teach the guys, believe it or not. None of you will.

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Sometimes the guy may just not be your personal type but sometimes the guy is nobodies type because he has things wrong with him that he needs people to tell him. If you don't wanna date him becuz he smells... Tell him that. Don't let him go the rest of his life never finding a girl. He will get closure and know how to fix it. People move on when they have closure. Nicely and reject don't EVER go together. Get over it and woman up. Help the guy out and tell him why. Because he disregarded his fears just to have a 1% chance with you by coming up to you or making a move.

lonestar_01 · Answer

At the end of the day there is no "nice" way to do it, girls never take rejection a good way so guys rarely ever do either. He most likely if he's got a pair may end the friendship with you, as yes you don't owe him a relationship but he doesn't owe you friendship either. So be prepared for that. Guys prefer honest clear cut yes and no when they ask for a relationship, not "maybe" or "I don't know" or whatever. Just be honest, if he ends your friendship then there is nothing you can do about that in the long term

Anonymous · Answer

It really doesn't matter how you do it all he's going to hear is no whether you say that word or not I mean you can tell him it has nothing to do with him you're just not ready to date yet once he turns around and starts walking away it's too bad his brain didn't have a loudspeaker because he is cussing going oh my God I just embarrassed myself he's holding his breath he's cussing up a storm his face is beat red he trying to tell himself it's okay lying to himself said she wasn't worth it anyway he's thinking of anything you possibly think of to make himself feel better at that moment but or what you do is you get out your little pad of paper and the last date on it. Is 3024 did you say okay sure what's your name and let me pencil you in LoL that way you didn't turn it down he's just got to wait a while lol

Realistic07 · Answer

Hey well thank you for showing interest in me that being said im not interested in dating you; because however much you may feel that we may be a good match I do not feel the same way. I’m sorry if I’m letting down your expectations, but I need to be true to myself particularly in picking somebody I may be with. I hope you can understand.

That being said I hope you have a wonderful day and I wish you much luck in finding somebody that is right for you.

Then either walk away or stop talking to them even if that means you have to block them.

The good thing about this is that you don’t have to lie, you don’t have to say that you’re currently unavailable which may or may not be true, and you can put the honesty out there and still give them the best of wishes.

razelove · Answer

Be honest. Anything else you try is going to be obvious that he's just not worth your time, or effort. If you're trying to be nice about it, it's because you care, but just don't want things to get physical.

At least that has always been my impression when a woman is simply honest and direct with me. I've gotten the subtle brush off before and not noticed, or thought these are simply obstacles to overcome. That's always embarrassing, like all around.

You know it's going to be an awkward talk no matter how it goes down, so simply say what you mean to, mean what you say, and instead of saying "let's be friends!" at the end, tell him to think on it a little while before saying or doing anything, then leave.

I'd also pick somewhere public that offers privacy with more than one exit, but I'm paranoid, so that's a whole different topic.

red324 · Answer

Hopefully you haven't led him on for too long. Just tell him you don't have feelings for him in a romantic way, but still see him as a great person personality wise.
One time I went on a couple dates and at the end of the second date she ends it although a bit out of left field cause we went bowling for 5 hours says she wanted to be friends and just didn't feel a spark. It didn't help that i mistakenly said I couldn't wait to go back home. (It was late and I was tired) Anyways, the point is what she said sounded like the truth and for that I was okay with that answer. We even kept in touch for a bit afterwards until every time I texted her she would mention she was hanging out with her boyfriend, laying next to him, etc. It's like she was rubbing it in my face. Not that she was doing it on purpose, she just says what comes out of her mouth without thinking.

TheorionMage · Answer

Speaking from experience... WHEN you infatuate us, you HAVE TO BE unambiguous and nearly rude. IF we even suspect you MIGHT change your mind... we only become MORE determined to sway you and 'win' your consideration ~ Your non-platonic affection becomes "the prize' and becomes the object of insidious courtship 'seduction'.
One 'seduces' her romantic IMAGINATION ... FIRST ~

If we can get YOU to be idyly curious as to "what it would BE like WITH..." we've made inroads...
the female equivalent is...
if SHE can evoke his nascent Libido, she moves beyond the 'annoying forbidden platonic little sister'~ ;)

Biancam13 · Answer

Make it short but sweet, like ripping off a bandaid. Be honest, firm, but also nice. So something like “I’m sorry I’m just not feeling it/ don’t see you in that way. Good luck.” Or something. You have to strike the balance between being kind and not giving them any false hope in asking you out again.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Tell him in a nice, polite tone that you aren't interested 'I'm flattered, but I'm not really into you like that'.

I think taking a nice approach is very important, because it shows you care about the person and aren't just being a dick, so nice one, assuming you're in the situation.

MissRomantic · Answer

I have a boyfriend and when a guy asked me out, I said I couldn’t go on a date or hang out with him because my boyfriend would get the wrong idea. If you’re single though, you could say you have a crush on someone else already (if that’s true), “is this a date or do you just want to make friends?” or “unfortunately, I don’t feel the same way about wanting to date you, but I appreciate the invite.”

Adam1978 · Answer

Thanks but no thanks. He might ask why and then you say what was the primary reason you reject him. He did ask so you can just throw it out there. Unless your ashamed for rejecting someone based on the reason. In that case you need to do some self reflection. You should not act against your believes and I am not talking religion here, I talk personal view of a working social interaction.

JackSmy · Answer

Best way, is to just say you are in a relationship, with another guy, so he doesn't feel like a loser! Most guys can handle that, and he can 'save face' and not just be totally rejected!
Just be straight, and say it!
Like a band-aid, tear it off fast, and it hurts less!
NEVER, EVER say, "Let's just be friends"!! That just gives some the idea that "maybe" or "someday"!!
Cut it off, and don't waver!

Zealashton · Answer

you just i. am sorry i am just not intrested in you. and the leave it at that,
do not say, we can still be freiends, , do not say anything more. dont make it langthy or anything,
just do it face to face, and leave it be and then part ways, wait a few weeks or months, for them to get over you and move on, . their,

TruthBringer · Answer

It's best to say it how it is. No matter how "sweet" you reject him, it's still a rejection and he will see it as that. You simply tell him that you're not into him and be polite about it.
You have to realize that you cannot take the burdens of life off of other people. He needs to learn to take rejection however it may be thrown at him. This is life's way of making him stronger. The only thing you can do is comply and just reject. He will move on and so will you.

slatyb · Answer

Just say "Thanks, but I don't think it would work." It's also ok to make up a reason -- "I'm not looking to date right now" or "I'm seeing someone". Make sure that he understands it's not going to change anything soon. Never give a specific reason why you don't want to date him, even if he asks. Just repeat the initial denial and if he asks a third time exit the conversation.

MalesGOD · Answer

You shouldn't totally reject him since he later in life might become very successful and wealthy. ALL women start out in the sexual marketplace holding all the cards she's walks into a bowing alley with a 300, she can't loose. But a 16 year old is 12 to 14 years away from the time she walks in with a 0. Its really a small short windows of time. Young men start out with a low low score if not a zero with nowhere to go but up.
Little fact women everywhere choose to ignore or if not attack with "but's" is if you reject a similar age man now later in life he will almost always reject you if you pop back into his life no matter if you still look young or not.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

By being direct and to the point. Don't lie to spare his feelings as or say something like I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment. You need to shut the door completely nothing that can be construed as "Ask at a later date" Guys will be persistent if they have any hope. So just be direct and to the point. Trying to spare a persons feelings as patronizing and they usually see right through it.

lillianaustin · Answer

you can start by telling him, that you don't think it's work out and you don't see any interest in him and you just don't think you can see him in that way and then you can ask him if he's okay with just being friends, but if not tell him you're not ready to be in a relationship because you just don't want to date anyone at the moment

007kingifrit · Answer

"im sorry but I have no interest in you romantically"

should cover it, if he persists assure him there is NO CHANCE with phrases like "there's nothing you can do, i will never be interested in you"

young men tend to bargain with their brains so its important not to give him a loophole

1Anon · Answer

You could say that you’re not ready for dating or anything like that because you want to focus on education and school so that you could be secure and in a good position before you start dating anyone.

jsincal · Answer

Personally, as a man, I think if guys get offended to your simple
rejection to his pursuits, he’s being a little bitch. It’s not up to you not to be offending it’s how he takes it. That being said, a simple “no” suffices.

TOTEMPLASTER · Answer

Smile sweetly, bat your eyelashes, and say: "Take your rifle and fuck off at the high port!"
If he's ex-military, he will laugh his ass off and give you a kiss then leave.
If he has no military experience, why did you go out with him in the first place?

IndyZee · Answer

More context would be nice but definitely do not ignore him and hope he goes away; no one appreciates being ignored.

Tell him that he flatters you with his persistence but your feelings for him don't go beyond friendship; please accept this as your final resolve.

Hannah_le · Answer

I always had this issue but the best way is to just say “no”. Straight up cuz like if u lead them on it’s just gonna hurt them so saying no and explaining why maybe.

Makeushiver · Answer

Good luck. You have ti strike the right balance between closing the door but compassionately. isn't easy. but I suspect you know that. There is always some pain

deshsippingtea · Answer

As a guy , the best way is just to tell him the truth, cause why lie, if he finds out that you lie, it literally ruins him so just be honest

NetSapien · Answer

There's no nicely really, there's only respectfully. If you respect the guy you reject him with clarity and honesty of purpose.

1stranger · Answer

Politely you can say, I don't think we are suitable for each other. It's my answer to most guys in the dating app.

AlexanderAnttila · Answer

Just be nice about it is all. A lot of guys hesitate to even go for it because girls can be really unnesscesarily mean when rejecting them. Not being a jerk about it will suffice.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Look into his eyes and say, "back off jerk!!". Oh wait you said gently. Lol

electromagnetic · Answer

“Sorry, I’m not interested. I hope you can understand.”

VanillaSalt · Answer

Thanks for your time but I’m not interested... super simple

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

You don't. Just say it in one or two words. Or just simply say "sorry but you're not my type" If you try to be nice, there is going to be chance that he is going to guilt trip you and take advantage of it.

Ripper_E · Answer

Tell him you don't see him that way. You're not giving him a specific reason but you are telling him the truth.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Say that you're not interested? Honestly is the nicest and kindest thing you can do.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Just tell him you're not interested. If you don't, he will be persistent.

SphynxUK · Answer

Just be honest. You’re really nice, but I don’t feel that connection...

Caliguy88 · Answer

Just tell him you don’t look at him that way. It happens. I’ve been told that. I’ve told people that... if he’s a good guy he won’t push it. Maybe a question or two...

faithie_Artist · Answer

I literally just tell them that I’m already talking or dating someone else

AffectionKing · Answer

Sorry i'm not interested in you like that. Simple straight to the point.

pervertedjester · Answer

"Thank you. I'm flattered but I'm not interested in dating anyone at the moment."

Bhavin2184 · Answer

Rejecting someone nicely is not possible.. whatever you do They will get hurt anyway..

RenegadeSailor · Answer

Tell him 'thank you but I am not interested' it is polite but firm. If he gets upset by this, he looks like a total ass.

Justacatlady · Answer

Be honest. If this is someone you know other than dating, and you may possibly interact with them again, just be clear that you aren’t interested and this has nothing to do with anything they did. You just don’t feel a connection in that way.

Outofthegrey · Answer

"See this pussy. You'll never fuck it."  He may have been rejected, but he still got a little something. It's the polite thing to do.

misanthropistkev · Answer

By lying I have cancer, mother died, I got impregnated by a rapist, witnessed a murder and have to be relocated, pretend like you have Down syndrome or just retarded, Pretend to be racist, tell him he would have to convert to mormon to date you or a gluten free diet, say you have an STD/i , Pretend to be foreign ( learn like Italian or something) my point is the possibilities are endless your rejecting this guy who gives a fuck how you do it FUCK! EM! rejection isn’t fun

pigoat · Answer

As nice as you are he will still feel bad for takong the L

whatdoyouwantt · Answer

Well tell more who he is, did you go out? Best tips is to slowly disappear or just say you have a guy.

exitseven · Answer

Tell him that you feel like you are destined to be together, you can't get him out of your mind, you never want to let him out of your sight. You will never see him again.

Jack9949 · Answer

Attitude is everything. You just gotta be nice about it. Say you’re not interested in dating at the moment.

Anonymous · Answer

I usually say "sorry I don't like you like that", or "sorry I dont see you in a romantic way".

Wise4myage · Answer

By being as nice as possible and not condescending.

zagor · Answer

Explain the circumstances. It kind of depends on that.

Xoirwinkan · Answer

No idea. I rejected a girl once, just by standing still and staring at her after she landed a kiss on my lips before I could do anything. She was likely tipsy but I was stone cold sober, and found her distasteful.

dpy87 · Answer

It really depends how he comes off. Most of the time they don't deserve a nice rejection because they don't handle it well.

Gtimraed · Answer

If he's going to take it bad, he will take it bad no matter the sugar coating. Just be honest with him and upfront.

Waldoe · Answer

only 1 way... just say "yes, dear... whatever you say..." oh wait, that isn't rejection. OK try this "if that's what you want, then sure" hmmm that's not right either... I got it... "your wish is my command"... that's the Nicest way to reject a guy.

GreenGold1992 · Answer

just be honest, tell him how you feel, but do so harmlessly.

GAGSucksBalls1 · Answer

oxymoron you can't. you simply can't reject him nicely. you're REJECTING HIM

How can I reject a guy nicely?

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