Why do older men (35+) think that they’re desirable to beautiful young women in their prime?

Question

Serious question and it’s not a bash to anyone. But why do older men think this? I’m 18 and in a sorority (240 girls aged 18 to 23) and we talked about this false narrative at chapter, and 95% of the girls said they wouldn’t have relations with an older guy unless they were rich and famous according to a poll we took. Physically, older guys are not as attractive as younger men. They start losing themselves in the weight department, they start to wrinkle all over, their balls droop, and they start to bald. And as everyone knows physical attraction is important! Financially, sure you have the career and maybe some cash but why is this a plus when men complain all the time about not wanting to be used for their money? Money doesn’t buy long term attraction though it can make some women a very happy widow which is cool. And mentally, yes there’s experience but very few young people (men or women) want to be told what to do by an old person. That’s part of being young right? Finding your own path. And honestly, we kind of just find older insanely creepy. Men 35+ are our biggest predators it seems so we always have our taser and pepper spray ready to go around them. It’s actually pretty scary.

Im genuinely curious. It always seems like men 35+ approach me a lot and I just don’t understand why. Do they actually think there’s a chance I would be interested in them? I do admire their bravery and courage though.

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

Haha, well, that’s all fair I guess. I gotta figure it’s case-to-case, both for the girl’s boundaries and the guy’s appearance. There’s kind of a weird thing that happens, or at least with me…once I got into my mid-30s or so, all the younger people, like around college age, they either look 13 or 24, there’s no in between. It’s either “no way, man, gotta let the paint dry on that one” or it’s “WHOA…that chick is in her absolute prime.” Conversely, when I was young, I thought even 25 was old lmfao. Like I feel SO bad about this dude I worked with when I was 21 or so. He was our manager and he was 30. We were always cool with him at work but I think we were weirded out by his age enough where we didn’t invite him to parties, etc. And now that I’ve BEEN 30, holy shit, I feel terrible, that was SO young. I’m like “why isn’t this guy married with kids?”, and it turns out I’m the idiot lmao. I was still going to college parties with my younger coworkers into my early thirties, and you know what? I was the LIFE of those things. Like I was infinitely “cooler” when I was 30 than when I was 20. When I was 20 I was just some guy at the party. I was a fucking party star at 30😂

Anyway, to get back on track with actual dating or hooking up, I said all that stuff before to illustrate this disconnect in age perception between the young and the…”less young”, haha. Like I say this with no vitriol, just as someone who has been there, done it, and bought the t-shirt…if you think 30-35 is old, I’m here to tell you from experience that you are WRONG. And that’s good news for you, as far away as that all seems right now. I’m sorry to report that in or around 2037 you’re going to have a moment where you say “Jesus….. where did all that time go? Literally feels like four years ago or something.” So with all that said, you are NOT wrong when you say some people tank in the looks department. Your metabolism slows and the hectic-ness of life picks up, and if you aren’t careful with your diet and exercise, you probably won’t be “hot by accident” like you are in your late teens and early 20s. Genetics really play a part in this phase of life too. I’m very fortunate to have a young face and all my original hair, but a lot of guys my age do not. So it’s definitely hit or miss. And in our shoes, we may or may not have realized that we’ve fallen off, or someone buys into the trope of “older guy with money still gets pretty young women.” Or they might just be shooting their shot, what’s the harm in that? If someone is creepy about it and won’t take no for an answer, that’s one thing. But if a 35 year old guy with thinning hair and a few extra pounds politely tries to buy you a drink, be kind, haha. It’s totally ok for you to not be attracted, but it’s totally ok for them that they ARE attracted, it’s just not a match, no big deal. I mean, there’s obviously a limit, if you’re old and gray you probably shouldn’t be cruising 18+ night at the club, lmao. But people want what they want, and adults are adults, so if a 35 year old adult hits on a 20 year old adult, who the hell cares? Just turn them down like a peer you weren’t attracted to. We’re guys, we’re used to rejection, happens all the time😂

DWornock · Accepted Answer

Some men are stupid but most men that age are not going to do more speak to you, even if that, or maybe ask you to dance if you are somewhere where that is appropriate unless you give some indication that you are approachable. You problem is, you ignore the 19 out of 20 that passed you by and think that the 1 in 20 that don't is indicative of what most men do.

No guy likes rejecting and by late teens and long before we are age 30 we learn to not approach girls that are almost certainly not going to receptive.

shaysh87 · Accepted Answer

I would have to agree. I'm 26 and I've never found old men attractive. I like guys in their late 20s to early 30s the most.

In reality, I don't think that most old guys think young women are attracted to them. I think that a lot of them know that younger guys in their 20s-30s have a better shot at getting young women. But many of them just won't like to admit it, because it hurts their feelings.

Don't listen to the misogynistic assholes on here who say that men are sexier at 50 than at 30. They're just trying terribly afraid that there will be a day that young women won't find them attractive. This is why they constantly repeat to themselves that they look sexier as they appraoch the elderly home.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don’t like older men. I prefer younger actually but they can have their preference it just gets me when they assume all young girls are into them like sorry we’re not , maybe we have a different type and prefer younger more attractive looking guys the same as how they’d prefer younger girls.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I personally think that anyone who thinks they are desirable to anyone is ticking the vain, shallow arsehole box (guys and girls).

This does increase as guys get older, they try and chat to girls without chicken wings, cellulite etc, all those things that hit pretty much everyone as we age.

Normal people do normal stuff and chat n date other normal people, then marry them. Usually this is a max 10 year gap, there are exceptions.

Personally a big problem is how the media, TV, movies etc portray a young girl getting with an older suave guy. You never really see a woman at 30 getting a younger guy…

I personally don’t think women 18-23 are in their prime, physically yes, mentally and emotionally not all are in their prime.

Also the title suggests the girls who are not beautiful are fair game.

Are you counting yourself as beautiful?

The other real world thing to this is make up, alcohol and clubs.

A 23 yr old woman, who is nicely made up, looks great in her clothing, maybe heels etc, does not look 23, some look far older, a decently fit guy at 35, does not look 35, often 30. They will not likely mention ages and get on great, have a laugh, there is an attraction, at some point age will be mentioned.

What do you class as beautiful and in her Prime?

best 5km, 10km times, best marathon times, 400m swim time, weight reps at xx weight,

degrees and position held in a company and managerial experience

what is her Prime?

please don’t say her body, as that is hugely shallow and demeaning to everyone.

Yeah I agree getting hit on is really bad when you are out etc. that does apply to anyone no matter on ‘beautiful’ standards applied.

rooster44 · Answer

*sarcasm alert*

Why would I want to date a young (-30) woman? They think they can skirt by on there looks and think they deserve more than they do. They only see me as a piggy bank. They don't care about my feelings. Those looks are going to fade one day. She doesn't have anywhere near the same life experience as older women. They think life is all about college, tinder, sororities, and parties. Why do these young women think I'm interested in them at all?

You and your friends aren't interested in older men. That's perfectly fine. There are other women who are into older men though. You've clearly had some pervy older men hit on you that gave you the creeps. Maybe not you maybe a friend. And maybe your generalizations about older men have truth to them but im sure you know they aren't the truth for all older men across the board.

Please dont make generalizations about people. Because it's not cool.

And just for the data I'm 27. I am currently in a relationship. I have had sex. And I don't like you making stereotypical assumptions about men.

Dragonpurple · Answer

I have never thought I was desirable to anyone ever, but as I got older I care less about what others thing so I'm more likely to make a move. When I was your age, I was too freaking shy and nervous to make a move. I'm all about personality as attraction may be important at your age, but I promise you the older you get, the less it matters. Personality matters way more.

There isn't a lot of single people my age to make a move on, so I go for what I can. I get rejected a lot but I don't care, now I'm not looking for a life time partner or spouse, been there and done that, not doing it again.

Right now, been looking for someone that is willing to hang out and do fun stuff, not just sexually either, travelling and camping and riding with me.

I do not specifically hunt out college age women though, to be honest I do not ask her age most the time cause I don't care as long as she is an adult.

Personally I do not want anyone from 18-22 or so, too immature and full of themselves.

magiusX26 · Answer

right back at you. why do younger women think they deserve an older guy?

no, i do not actually want any sort of answer to that. i ask only as a way to show some perspective seeing as quite a few of such relationships are initiated by the younger woman.

all your question comes across as based on your group's prefferences (by the way, i would almost [only because it would be fruitless gambling that i dont] willing to bet that at least 3% lied due to either how the question was presented or some concieved peer pressure) .

as for the comment about "happy widows", that is false in 2 ways. 1st is that often enough the older guy does not die while she is still young. the other is plenty of those who marry an older guy (even if not initially) love him enough that the loss of him leaves them sad instead of happy. yes i know there are plenty of reports and stories of younger women with older guys just for his money but the fact is we rarely if ever hear about those not in it for the money. the reason we dont is headlines and story drama (which way will get more attention?) . yet historically there have always been such relationships (i would guess around 25 to 35%) .

Anonymous · Answer

So, I am not that type of guy but I will give my thoughts. First, the successful guy who has always had access to women doesn’t see it as a problem. If not successful, they are just trying as every now and then a door opens.

Continuing with the successful guy, he sees others like him getting pretty, beautiful and even gorgeous women. Some women will seek themselves out for a guy with money and all it brings plus he has proven himself amount other men which is also attractive to women. On top of that dad types with dad bods are in for some women.

In effect, he can get women much prettier than your sorority sisters and the proof is out there when he looks at other guys like him. And your point about long term attraction cuts both ways, you will lose your looks or simply become boring so you can be replaced by a guy who is rich and confident and has options. He also may not see you anymore than a hot fuck just like you may see him as nothing more than money and luxury. Even you own poll showed your sisters would do it.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

Honestly, I have no idea. I have a friend that always tells me about these girls he likes, and they invariably turn out to be about 21-23.

I just find it creepy, and I've told him so, on multiple occasions. Girls that age just seem so young, by comparison, and legal or not, I would just feel like a creepy pervert for dating someone that age, myself.

I apologize for not answering your question, but hopefully it helps to know there are at least some older guys that don't lust after girls that young.

Anonymous · Answer

I would actually argue here and say that those, who do that are a minority and actually have issues.. This site isn't representative of the real world. Statistics actually show that the majority of couples are the same age or the guy is about 3-5 years older than the girl. 10 girls max
Those couples with large age differences are very rare, about 1%

But yeah it's quite rare for me to find older men attractive in real life with only 1 exception (I once had a professor that looked good for his age, but this doesn't mean I would pursue a romantic relationship with him). I only see celebrities that look good like Brad Pitt, Tom Hardy, George Clooney, Cillian Murphy, Michael Fassbender. But celebrities aren't ordinary people so they don't count, as they have exceptional genetics and get cosmetic treatments to look their best

Lonewulf57 · Answer

First, let me explain what it's like to be old.
Okay close your eyes, go on, close them. Through a magical device called "makebelievium" I have just transported you through time. You are now 20 years older. You might know more than your 20 year younger self and you certainly have more opinions, but you think you haven't changed THAT much.
Now, second, given that experience, imagine a 20 year old guy, who is now 20 years older. Do you think he is not going to approach "beautiful young women in their prime"?

Third. Men "thinking"? You certainly give men far too much credit. Men are high stakes gamblers. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. High stakes is very little chance gambling. Kinda like approaching a PYT feeling he has a snowballs chance in hell, of succeeding, and yet there just might be a slim chance...

DonkeyDan · Answer

I certainly don't think I'm desirable to that age group at all, if I'd even describe myself as desirable, I'm not a child and that kind if talk is just immature.
I'm still in excellent shape as I take good care of my body, but I certainly don't have any interest in girls your age.
Yeah you might be physically attractive but mentally and maturity are not close to been attractive to me.
I can't speak for other guys, but my best guess would be that some women who are looking for a guy who is mentally mature, emotionally available and stable, and isn't looking to play games, could be enticing to some younger women who are not interested in the immature guys their age, and therefore think they have a chance.
Not me though, you girls can keep away from me.

MrOracle · Answer

I agree that MOST 19-year-olds don't want 35 year olds. But I also know that the percentage that do - even if they don't realize it yet - is much higher than the 5% who admitted to it. People in general, and women in particular, tend to want to vote with the crowd, and when they know that the crowd is leaning one particular way, they will vote that way publicly even if they wouldn't do so privately.

But many women don't even realize that they're attracted to older men - but will discover that they are over the next couple of years.

Of course, the percentage who want a 35 year old is low at 19. Ask again at 23, and especially at 25, and the answers will be very different.

I'm 51, and the girl I'm seeing is 32, for what it's worth. My last relationship was with a 22 year old when I met her, and I was 44. Not saying it's the norm, but it's far from unheard of.

NorthAfrican · Answer

I recently rejected a 34 years old man and clearly told him I'm not into older men.
I am currently with a man my age (26). We all like different things. It doesn't to me what preferences others have.
My man is broke rn but he's a student and he is studying in one of the best engineering unis in the world so he will be rich eventually. But we both have the same sense of humour and interests so I traded financial security for that (until he starts earning).

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Girls usually SAY its weird or they dont like it or would never but absolutely most seem to really like older men. I was 34 when i met an 18 yo cashier and we flirted and met that day when she got out of work and now its a year later and im 35 and she's 19. she's not the first young woman I've dated either quite a few 18 and 19 yos since I've turned 30. You can SAY you dont like it all you want but most young women do like to date significantly older men. Whether you in particular do or dont doesn't matter because other girls do and thats why we have the idea young girls like us, experience. 😘

Cherry234 · Answer

Maybe because they assume that young women like them. Some young women in their 20's do like older men that are 35+ but not all of them do. If they see it on tv or if they see it irl they believe it can happen to them too but it doesn't always work out that way.

Anonymous · Answer

If you don't persue what you like then you won't get it. Maybe the majority of college age women prefer younger guys. But there's still a minority of college women who prefer older guys. He might have to chat up more women; but she is out there. Plus guys reach peak attractiveness at 35; whereas women reach it at 22. The old guys you might be looking at and thinking that are 35-45 are probably more like 45-55. Also there are plenty of sexual predators who are under 30; men and women. Most guys over 35 are not rapists looking for their next victim. If someone comes up to you and asks you out that you aren't interested in all you need to do is say no thanks. You don't need to pepper spray them to get them to move on.

MakeUpModel91 · Answer

I sure know about this. I have a old friend he is now 40 years old, who constantly jokes he thinks he has receding hair line, He's old and grey and past it. I don't tell him as he's married how he is the most perfect man I have ever seen. Absolutely gorgeous and that if he was single I would literally ruin him (in a good way 😛🤣) he doesn't realise he is desirable at all. He just is. Older men have the mature, head strong vibe and I dig it 🤣

tommyvegas7618 · Answer

Because sometimes they are. But, it's not something a 35+ man should count on too often. I've had women be into me that were 12 years younger than me, but I'm physically fit and feel like I'm still 28 now. I hike, river raft, snowboard, etc. It happens, but I do hear what your saying as well. FYI: they usually flirt with me first and I respond-not the other way around.

bean2k21 · Answer

I could give a shit less if an anonymous 18 year feminist/lesbian finds me desirable
I'm twice the person she'll ever be, and if she wants to suck my godlike dick
For whatever reason, so be it, and then she can take her Uber on back to her little scissor-fucking sorority sisters.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

I'm approaching 35 and a lifetime of rejection certainly doesn't make me feel desirable. Likelihood is these guys always got the attention of that age group and think it will last forever.

VikingWarLord · Answer

This is only a THING in the West (such as USA).
When a dude goes over to the East (SE Asia or Eastern Europe, etc..) the younger women ONLY tend to date much older men, even men as old as 50s and 60s when they are still in their 20s. Western women are DONE. Especially with how obese and fat they're getting.

007kingifrit · Answer

because studies consistently show they... are?

given a choice would a 20 year old girl date a man who is 30 and owns his own house and has a high paying job and is emotionally mature?

or a man her own age with no house, no car, no job, and is childish?

obvious choice for a hot girl

Why do older men (35+) think that they’re desirable to beautiful young women in their prime?

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