Shall I contact him first or no?

[MakeUpModel91]

Hello, If you have read my previous question then you will already know my situation, I have a male friend who I am seriously crushing on but unfortunately he had to move away which meant we could no longer work together, It's been around 4 months since he left and I miss him like mad! We have had little convos here and there, I first messaged him after saving he's number through a work group on whatsapp, he does have a girlfriend, I haven't told him I am crushing on him because of her, I am okay with just being a friends, I feel we got on so well at work and even at work events, I texted him just to say how much I would miss him he replied straight away to say we have to make an effort to see eachother, I feel I have initiated most of the chats (which I don't mind at all) the last time we spoke was a month ago about the plans for summer I sent the last message but he never wrote back (I didn't ask any questions) so not sure if it's really necessary to have wrote back, My question is now you know the background. I miss him so so much lately should I message him and if so has anyone got any ideas how to initiate the conversation?
If you need any more details I can update.
I appreciate any help as I am absolutely devested how much I am missing him!
Thank you 😊

[MrCommodore]

I didn't see/read your previous question, but I kinds was on the opposite side of a very similar story recently.

First point, he probably didn't respond if you didn't askany questions, as he may think you wanted to end the conversation.

Second point, it should be easy enough to initiate conversation by simply saying something reminded you of him today and you just want to check in on him to see how he is. It's innocent, most friends or colleagues can do this.

[MakeUpModel91]

Thank you so much I don't know why I feel like this any other friend I have no problem texting. Its just him. I get so nervous like a little girl again. I'm not used to feeling like this. But I have known him for years now and ever since I first met him and he's partner I really liked him but know the limits. He is taken but I would rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all, I do genuinely miss him. He's smile made my day we worked together 3 days out of 7 I got so used to be around him. Now he's gone I hate it. 😔 when we text I don't want it to stop but it gets to a point when questions run out and he doesn't reply. On new years eve I texted him happy new years I didn't get a response till the 7th and he said happy belated new year he apologised as he was staying at he's brothers. So he must have thought of me as it was a week later?

[MrCommodore]

Ok so it's clear that you want him in your life, so its important that you regularly text him or stay in touch. Most men are more reluctant now to stay in touch, in case it's viewed negatively by the girl, like maybe as harassment or something.
Whereas giscan message guys without that stigma unless a girl is really overboard.

[MakeUpModel91]

Ah thank you so much you certainly know your stuff. He got invited to a fellow friends birthday do a few weeks ago but he didn't attend. I was devastated I dressed up to the nines kept looking for him but he didn't show. My friend said he didn't feel it was right to come as he fell out with a few of the people from work who were attending. He isn't the argumentative type.

[MrCommodore]

Does he live far away from you now? I ask, as I wonder if you meeting him for a coffee is a likely thing now or if it would involve a significant amount of travel.

I was in a similar situation for the last few years well similar in the opposite way. So I kind of understand your situation.

[MakeUpModel91]

Can I pm you? Don't think it's going well 😕

[MrCommodore]

Sure, message away, you should be able to.

[Jamie05rhs]

Of course you're the one initiating the chats. He has a GIRLFRIEND! He's not allowed to talk to you.

[MakeUpModel91]

So you would say she won't let him have female friends?

[Jamie05rhs]

@MakeUpModel91 The issue here is your motives. You WANT him! So why should she let you be friends with him? Stuff like this is the very reason why people don't want their significant others to have friends of the opposite sex. You are just proving their point.

[MakeUpModel91]

She doesn't know I want him. I have never told him I do and i definitely haven't told her.

[Jamie05rhs]

@MakeUpModel91 That is exactly my point!

[AndrésC64]

No, don't text him. He has a girlfriend and it doesn't sound like he's been particularly responsive to your texts. Time to move on. He has your number if she's interested.

[theelegantman]

No don't seek and don't ask. In time you will forget it. That's the law of nature. Look for a better one.

[Anonymous]

You said he has a girlfriend. Why do you still have crush on him?

[lyebrkt21]

Having feelings for someone can't be turned off that easily she clearly said she doesn't being just friends too that's fine I guess?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes you are right.

[MakeUpModel91]

Because you can't help how you feel. I Know I can't move forward with him in a relationship way but I would love to still be in contact with him in a friendship way.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok you are right. I think you can contact him first

[MakeUpModel91]

Any ideas how I could start the conversation I am literally so bad at this 🤣 I also don't want to bother him 🙈 maybe send a meme or gif about football (he loves football) to break the ice say something like saw this and thought of you?🤷🏼‍♀️

[Opinion Owner]

Yes sure. It is great idea to break the ice by something he is interested in. A meme is a great starter

[MakeUpModel91]

I will give that a try thanks so much for your help 😊

[Luckycharms12]

No you should not

[hokage1]

maybe