He still talks to me after sex?

Question

So this guy I’m seeing, I’m not sure if it’s a casual thing.. but we spoke for months, and finally did the deeds.. after the deed he stayed a while with me (chilling and watching tv).. he was telling me how he can’t be in relationships cause he isn’t a relationship guy blah blah.. however I know this guy doesn’t talk to any other girls apart from me, cause never goes out looking. Before he left he hugged me twice, and his messaging me like normal, when I thought he’d just end up ghosting me cause he got what he wants.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

When a guy tells you something like that believe him! He has laid out all of the ground rules in your relationship and didn't ask you at at what you want out of it. Don't keep allow him to get sex from you - hoping that one day you two will have a closer relationship. Trust me, been there, done that! You will never be a part of his life. He won't bring you around his friends or family, EVER! You are just being used for one thing - to satisfy his sexual needs. Shit, my cat 😺 does that for the boy cats in the hood. Break it off right now before you start feeling bad about yourself, because being used won't make you feel better about yourself that's reality. You deserve more than bumping bellies with this guy. He doesn't have anything to offer you. Make your own ground rules and they don't include him. 🌹

Tiptoetamm · Accepted Answer

I mean if your okay with that. Honestly at least he's being honest he could string you along and break your heart. That's how id look at it. I find it refreshing when someone is honest and upfront with me

magiusX26 · Accepted Answer

this is called a friends with benefits (friends with benefits). it is still a form of relationship, albeit a very casual one. not uncommon for these to also have "open relationship" ( or ) components. had one a few years back with the "or" components. she was going to help me improve dating app profiles. we had fun looking through possible matches for me on one app. i helped her cope with an issue from one of her other friends with benefits who turned out to be abusive. the fact she was sleeping with the guy dud not bother me. the fact i was looking for other women to sleep with did not bother her. sometimes it was weeks or even months between seeing each other again, then boom. one of us contacts the other horny so we get together again.

motownplayer2000 · Accepted Answer

I never understand why women say.. “he got what he wants..” when they talk about a guy having sex and leaving. Unless he sexually assaulted you or raped you.. you got what you wanted too. If you consented, you also got what you want. Lol it’s not like he was using you for sex and that’s it even tho he ghosted. I know plenty of women that will use a man for money or a free meal and will ghost them. Don’t hear men saying she got what she wanted. He wanted to give her money and buy her dinner just as much. It’s just a stupid saying.

Naimgood · Answer

He likes you, sounds like all his anti relationship talk is a routine that he probably does initially to everyone. I think girls and guys deserve actual faithful relationships and there's nothing wrong with you having standards and him complying. Sex can be leverage for women but it shouldn't have to be like that. If he's truly not open to the relationship you may want then find out fast bc you could like another guy just as much who'd love to be with you. He shouldn't be the only one setting the standard for y'all's exchanges. Time rolls on

NamerOfStars · Answer

I don't think it's all that surprising; sex is a powerful bonding tool. I think that's why so many guys (and probably some girls, too) bail afterwards: the hormones start flowing and they fear what their mind is doing to them, so they run away. If they don't, then feelings will arise, sooner or later; whether they choose to act on them or not is another matter.

Finchie40 · Answer

Be thankful he stayed after banging you , just take things slow he apparently likes you but probably doesn’t want to make you feel rushed , he might take Commitment seriously and is just taking his time with you to see if that’s something you want as well before getting his heart broken

OpenClose · Answer

Yeah I think he likes you but doesn't really know how to express it because he keeps people at a distance.

A lot of our emotional issues are tied up behind sex, so for a lot of guys our more emotional aide comes out after sex. Hell, some guys probably bail because they don't know what to do with the feelings.

But I can't say for sure because I've never had a casual going. I'm more of a "build things up so I know it's real" kind of guy.

DaveJord · Answer

Flip of the coin on if this guy is sincere or only looking for a hook up. But if you are having fun and enjoying it then go with it for now. If you are actually beginning to have feelings for him then you have to tell him. If you are having feeling for him don't continue to sleep if with him, if he is not looking for a relationship.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you got one on the hook, don't blow it.

Some guys not comfortable being vulnerable... when they did that as a kid, got the emotional crap beat out of them. So you got some noggin' scratching to figure this out to win your prize...

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some guys have this notion that admitting that they want a relationship means they are a weak man. And so they play this prtend game when it is obvious that they really DO want a relationship. It's just a false macho thing.

Samvinsie · Answer

Very smart move he did. Basically he talked to you after it coz he wanted to deliver a message “He is not ready for relationships” aka don’t expect anything from me after tonight. He definitely wanted to empathize that since you remembered everything he said so clearly lol. I other words he had a great night.. maybe he want to Hooke up again after but all these sex doesn’t mean anything serious but just fun. He backed himself up nicely in case things will go south

scott04sa22 · Answer

Maybe he wants to be friends with benefits because he joys having sex with you and maybe after awhile or later he might be open for a relationship. Sometimes friends with benefits turns into relationships. His previous relationship from someone could of been disastrous. If both of you like the sex just start an agreement. As long the sex is good both of you should be fine if something is off one of you should Address it but For the meantime enjoy the sex.

Lonewulf57 · Answer

It's possible that he doesn't want to come across as needy and desperate.

... or it's possible he means what he says. He might just be very selective in who he goes after, and just doesn't do the horn-dog thing much.

1988fido · Answer

ok from what you wrote its like this: this was a mistake , i am not looking for anything serious. sorry dont feel bad please. or i want you to be my sex friend, simple just there to fuck.

BaldAvenger · Answer

I'm not seeing a question here. If he can't open up to people or have relationships, yet you got him talking to you, confiding in you etc... then he obviously connected with you good enough for him to do that and that tells me he trusts you and feels close enough to you to do the things he can't do with others. Congratulations!!

Waldoe · Answer

Trust your Gut... it sounds like a "friends with benifits" situation, nothing wrong with that, but you have to option to do whatever you like, stay friends "with", stop the "with" stop the "friendship", whatever yoiu like... Seek... happiness and Peace

Bside · Answer

Don't do it. In the long run the relationship won't work. As long as you understand that sleep with him. Why wouldn't he hug you leaving? I mean he just slept with you it's not like he hates you.

MyNameJames · Answer

He could be unsure still, or he could be hinting that he just wants some benefits with your friendship. He could still feel that way and only be interested in hanging out with you, doesn't need to have anything to do with other girls.

Jay3344 · Answer

I think he feels comfortable being with you whether he gets some lovin or not. That’s why he’s talking with you before and after pretty openly. Doesn’t mean he wants a relationship but it’s a good sign he likes you.

GlassTop · Answer

Live about your daily life. Find another attractive guy to Netflix and chill with. Maybe he’ll find out have have a big talk with you. Then just tell him “Are we married? Are you my fiance” are you even my boyfriend “.

Carolus · Answer

He’s in for a situationship and it’s up to you to decide whether you are okay with it or not to proceed. You can hope it changes in future but no guarantees.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Not every casual sexual encounter is purely physical. I've met plenty of women I wouldn't want to be with romantically, but who were just these incredibly cool people. It sounds like you might be one of those ladies for him

AncientWisdom · Answer

Men are actually normal in they are lazy. Why chase another women when he can have you. There are men like you describe but most are not we like convenience and familiarity.

supercutebutt · Answer

if he ghosts u then he can't maintain access to your snizeroo. Are you OK just bein his sperm dumpster?

Guy13 · Answer

He's just trying to get you to chase him... or see if he has a magic joystick... give him a month to get horny or tired of beating off...

pizzalovershouse · Answer

You should of pointed out you won't have sex with him till in a relationship an not let him come to your home if you were serious cuz a girl inviting a guy over tells him you are wanting sex most the time

Neilbud · Answer

I could be wrong. But I think he likes you, he is just scared to admit it even to himself.

Or he's so comfortable with casual encounters it's like a relationship to him.

Or he's just brutally lonely and you are good company.

Anonymous · Answer

He'd probably like it to be an ongoing thing. We like sex more than once in our life lol. But always good to directly ask a guy what he wants, and make sure you're both on the same page. Then there's no misunderstandings and guessing.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i agree with some of the opinions in that just because he hit it once does not mean he won't use it up until you realize that's what you are to him

JVM1939 · Answer

He may have feelings towards you, but as he says he's not a relationship guy, he'll try to hide these feelings PS. I may also be wrong

SmokyOne · Answer

Well I think he got whatever reason has some fear of putting what he wants out there?  He obviously likes you but he may need to get to the root of whatever is going on

malakaki · Answer

This seems like a good decent guy. Don't miss this guy.

spartan55 · Answer

So you think because he watches TV with you after sex that he wants a relationship?

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Well, maybe he just wants casual sex with you, he doesn't talk to other girls cause he may be interested in you just sexually

MartianBuddy · Answer

Yeah, getting mixed up with someone like that is playing with fire. Unless he is willing to put some serious effort in to fixing his shit he's gonna hurt you in the end. Same thing happened to me.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Proceed with caution. He may be hurting a lot from a previous relationship and or his family life was bad. If he's not into you and just wants sex I'd move on. Unless you're ok with that arrangement.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

"I thought he’d just end up ghosting me cause he got what he wants."  Either you consented and you both got what you wanted, or he either sexually assaulted you or raped you.

sean1234 · Answer

I don't know why you even complain? STOP COMPLAINING! Oh a STOP having sex before marriage.

Avicenna · Answer

It means he enjoyed himself and feels comfortable with you

strawhatEli · Answer

It's either he kind of likes you or he really liked the sex and wants more.

Rambling010 · Answer

I nickname is Dirty Deeds. Literally. You said you did the deed. Lol. But you haven't done the Deeds. 😊

DaveToo · Answer

I don't know about him but I got burned in a relationship, and it turned me off from permanent relationships.

awkward_author · Answer

He probably wants a friends with benefits situation but isn’t interested in seeing other people, potentially for safety reasons.

Gingerguy33 · Answer

I personally think he likes you but doesn’t want to admit it and wants to stay in his friends with benefits ways

Shy_Steve · Answer

If you think that's a big turnoff or your worried about it tell him and tell him what you want and if he can't do whaylt you want and you don't like what he does then you just have to end it.

Anonymous · Answer

Couples are supposed to talk after sex, even guys who go to prostitutes talk to them. Are women really expecting to be used as cum dumpsters nowadays?

RichyRich887 · Answer

Accept people as they come. Dont try to change him. If you accept him as a regular casual swx partner he will eventually end up opening up. DON'T RUN FOR LABELS OR RELATIONSHIP FOR NOW. Just give him time.

Juliette1994 · Answer

He’s just being macho secretly in he’s mind your in the relationship. Careful or you might end up on ID channel.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

How many guys do you see lol 😂, well it's none of my buisness i know i am sorry

Dmony45 · Answer

Um ok wow well I don't have much say other than if he can't be in relationships then u either ask him why or u move on the next guy u meet

mpodeszek · Answer

Well dont be shy with him are you ok withthe friends with benefits. If you are thats what he wants. Its hard sounds like he cpuld be married have you gone to his place yet.

Anonymous · Answer

what he’s doing is called post nut clarity  guys become more talkative after they cum, I guarantee you he said the same thing to any girl he was seeing before you

steveRogers12 · Answer

Maybe he wants more from you than sex. Will just have to wait and see

Raaj4you · Answer

That's a good sign. If you both want sex then enjoy it. Why are you over thinking?

Iron_Man · Answer

You probably shouldn’t be giving it up with the guy like that

Jerre · Answer

He enjoys fucking you, so he will be back for more.

Anonymous · Answer

He probably still likes you or maybe wants to take it slow on tbe dating aspect. Dont move to fast because that can push him away. maybe he's been through something traumatizing n doesn't like relationships.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@Bratz1211 He probably saw you as a friend with benefit.

driven159 · Answer

So he might eating his words soon might just say that to the he's cool

Jouth · Answer

God forbid he try to talk to you after sex. I agree, talking should only occur before sex.

ALewis30 · Answer

Maybe his secretly in love with you, and doesn't want to say it.

CubaPirate · Answer

He seems like a nice guy. Not all guys are assholes

Sarahr123 · Answer

Of course cos he wants to bang you again duh

He still talks to me after sex?

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Why does he still talk to me?

He still talks to me after sex?

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