Long term guy friend denies flirting?

[Anonymous]

It's kinda cheesy but definitely flirting. When I ask him why he does that he denies that it was even flirting! He's done stuff like this over the years subtly and sent random love quotes in the past. We're thousands of miles away from each other but he still calls me up every 6 months to talk. On our last call he asked if I'm looking for a soulmate and I was like not right now. Right now I just want to have fun. He said he thought I'd say that. We've been friends for 8 years now.

[Cormac995]

I get the distinct impression that this is him being in love with you but he's either trying to respect your boundries, is too nervious to say it or both. Speaking as a guy i dont think this is a crush. Based on the info you've provided im pretty sure he's in love with you.

[Asker]

Okay so what do I do now? I don't want to hurt his feelings. He seems ready to settle down and I'm just getting started. I like him as a person.

[Cormac995]

Im not sure what to do in this situation. All i can say is if he comes out and says he loves you than if you dont want to date let him down easy faking feelings for him wwoukd hurt twice as much as letting him down honestly

[Asker]

I wish he would just confess so we can both move on. Being in this ambiguous state and him pretending to be nice friends and not acknowledging his true desires is kinda draining me. Because I constantly have to respond carefully so as to not come off as brash. I'm a straightforward person and I try not to hurt anyone. Is there any strategy to create a safe space where he feels good enough to confess so I can decline him and we both can go our separate ways?

[Cormac995]

Do you think you could like him like him or do you only see him as a friend and dont think you could love him back? If you think there's a chance you could like him back id consider it possibly. I know you said you're just getting started with the dating thing but if i were in your situation id ask myself and look deep down if i thought i might regret it and wonder later what might of been. I personally dont understand why people date just to date the whole point of dating is find a significant other and not be alone.

[boggboss]

Maybe he likes u but is scared u will reject him

[Asker]

He's on a different continent bro. Like why can't he just move on and find a nice partner. It's been 5 years since I've seen him in person. I don't understand what he wants from me now.

[boggboss]

Ego knows guess because u entertain it he loses nothing by doing it

[Asker]

I have stopped entertaining it, for more than 16 months. He keeps coming back. I don't know what to do. Suggest something bro