Why does my guy friend avoid me after making flirty jokes?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend has always been a bit flirty with me but lately more than ever. He send me a gif with an enamoured duck and told me he needed more of me which I commented was cringe. He kept flirting for a bit until I shut it down because even though I knew it was a joke I just didn’t find it funny. Now he suddenly avoids me and doesn’t want to talk to me because he claims his image of me has changed because he realised I can’t take a joke. Why is he being so dramatic about it? We’ve known each other for 5 years

[Flatmanlewis]

The question is worded incorrectly. Worded accurately it would say “Why does my guy friend avoid me after I respond negatively to his attempts at flirting?”




He is trying to flirt his way into a conversation which tiptoes into a more honest dialogue and he can edge closer to confessing that he likes you. This is 100% obvious to any guy who reads this and yet women actually think their “best guy friend” is just their friend. This is pure rom-com chick-flick rubbish.


Your rejection reminds him that he is not even on your radar as a man of potential and it equal parts hurts him and embarrasses him. Lots of guys who don’t have the stones to go out and meet girls easily latch onto some girl they really like but try to slide in under her radar with the juvenile belief that if they see how much he cares for her she will somehow, someday, suddenly, just realize how amazing he is and fall madly in love with him and they will make passionate love at the revelation. Sad but true.


He will eventually have to move on from you when he accepts there is no future there OR he pathetically hangs in there hoping against all hope that situation will somehow change.


This is a crystal clear situation and you probably should just cowgirl the heck up and be direct about it. If all he will ever be is a friend then tell him as much. If he stays, you’ll know it’s all out in the open for nobody to misunderstand. When he goes, which he will, you’ll know why.

[Asker]

Bro, I called him my emergency husband several times before and he never seemed to care. Why would he be so butt Hurt now?

[Flatmanlewis]

What’s an emergency husband?

[Asker]

someone i would end up if i dont find any better

[Flatmanlewis]

So an emergency husband implies you can at least see him in a marriage and/or romantic capacity. That’s kind of the point. He’s hoping that happens! Yet here, in your scenario, you kind of sent a contradictory message by shutting him down

[ProbablyClueless]

Because it's embarrassing/uncomfortable to make a joke that the person you're talking to doesn't find funny. Why wouldn't he pull back from someone who isn't on the same wavelength as him?

I remember one time I made an extremely tame sexual joke about spanking a female friend of mine around Christmas time for being naughty and her response was to totally put me on ice. She made it abundantly clear that she wasn't receptive to any kind of flirty or sexual comments. She was actually kind of an asshole about it.

She did a lot more than turn me off; her response (among other things, because she was an exhausting person in many regards) made it clear that she's not the kind of person I was ever going to have a fun and flirty relationship with.

[Asker]

Kind of weird that it took him 5 years to realize we are not the same wavelength considering we text every day

[Asker]

And about your friend, were you into her?

[ProbablyClueless]

Eh, I don't think it's really that weird. People project a lot of their own personal life onto people around them, so they don't know their friends as well as you'd expect. It's the same reason that you started withdrawing because you assumed he wasn't as interested in you, rather than just asking him where his head was at. It's the same thought process but from the opposite direction.

As for my friend; I was into her, and before that moment, she had told me very directly that she was into me. There was a bunch of really weird, stupid BS that happened where she would alternate between being really intense and then suddenly super unclear about what she actually wanted with me. For some reason this 29 yr old, single woman decided that she couldn't handle a light, mutually respectful, romantic entanglement.

[fizzyliz1]

He sounds immature, he gets mad at you for not liking a joke. He can't handle that his joke didn't make you laugh so he's taking it out on you. You're allowed to not think a joke is funny.

[DreamLife7]

Do u suffer from brain rot? Like what are u comprehending? You just said u told him u didn't like it. Are u slow?

[Asker]

No but apparently you are since you are the only commenter who didn’t comprehend the question

[DreamLife7]

You're slow 🐌

[DreamLife7]

Stop bugging him he doesn't want to be bothered with you

[Asker]

With your shitty attitude you will never achieve your dream life. Who are you trying to fool? 😂😂😂😂

[DreamLife7]

I have it 🤣 meanwhile you're crying from rejection

[V_Injector]

Probably because you didn't let him smash. He's probably beta as all hell because who the fuck is actually friends with a whamen. I'm guessing he's your beta orbiter that you use as an emotional tampon and attention and quite typically... you've put him in the friend zone.

You need to face the facts... he's a male. That means he wants that pussy. Sure, maybe he's being a pussy about it, but it still is what it is. He's gonna try (like he's been doing) and eventually, he might give up. Maybe he'll land a girl and drop you like a bad habit, or he might keep you around because he really wants to smash.

So he's getting these mini-rejections, he tenses up, because he doesn't want major rejection. Think I'm wrong? ... then ask him if you can practice sucking dick on him. Watch how quickly he will be all about it. I'm 100% correct and I think you know it too.

[Mr_twoface]

He is being dramatic because he likes you a lot and this feels like a rejection. Since you've known him for more for a long time, talk to him and allow him to to be transparent with you! Allowing him to be flirty and not discussing it at all is a bad thing for your friendship. This should have been addressed a long time ago... so the friendship doesn't end for something so small.

[Asker]

He claimed it was just a Joke and nothing Serious

[Mr_twoface]

If he is shy or doesn't want to lose face, that's what he will say. After five years of friendship, he shouldn't get upset over a joke or the fact you didn't find it interesting.

[Asker]

He is not shy at all. He just thinks that Im too serious and don’t get his jokes suddenly

[Mr_twoface]

Well, Im still saying he likes you more than what you believe he does. Lets see what others responds.

[Asker]

Yeah but only in a platonic way right?

[Mr_twoface]

No, I would say he has romantic feelings for you and has grown in recent times.

[Kinkyhubby]

Because he likes you, and you don't see it because he fell into your friend zone. So now you comment felt like a rejections, and he knows now you only see him as a friend. He now knows it will never change, and probably now wants to move on.

[Flatmanlewis]

100% this

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd love a woman who was that in a relationship. Sure beats an awkward cringey girlfriend. Lol 🤣😆 chin up hope you find a better man

[jhanna]

He's acting that way just because he was flirting and he felt offended once you kept shutting it down. He had realized that he caught feelings and indirectly felt rejected.

[Asker]

I told him many times that I was not into him. I don’t understand why he would act this hurt just now after 5 years

[Goku1001]

Probably he wants you to be his girlfriend, but realized that you are not making any moves!

[spartan55]

He likes you obviously.

[Asker]

He claims it was just a joke

[spartan55]

I've got a bridge I'll sell ya too...😂 He's lying to save face.

[strateguy632]

because you "shut it down".

[supercutebutt]

Plop out a breast. He'll stop ignoring you.

[Alex-Snow]

Because he is immature

[itsclearlynicholas]

Do you work hard for the gym?

[Fred7906]

Probably because he likes you

[Asker]

why does he claim it was just a joke and not serious?

[Anonymous]

He's right. You are pretty uptight.

[Artie124]

I bet he likes you