Guy friend keeps flirting and hinting over the years, but won't explain why when asked directly?

[Anonymous]

What the question says. We're college friends, we've drifted apart over the years - but when we do text - he sometimes says he loves me, random love quotes and calls me sexy.
The latest is when he said him getting married depends on me. When I asked why, he says he's just joking around. He always says something like this and says he's joking. When I ask him to explain the random stuff, he says we'll talk about it later and then never explains himself. I'm getting tired of all this. I've ignored him before but he keeps coming back.

Updates

+1 y

I talked to him and he says he wasn't flirting and talked really well with me. When I asked why he still calls me, he said because we go way back. I feel like a fool now for thinking the flirting had some intention behind it.

[Siren777]

This guy is playing games with you. You drifted apart for a reason. If he doesn't give you a reason, think of it as he will keep you wondering what could be while stringing you along. Keep you as an option. If he cannot be a man and tell you wtf is going on, leave for good (move on).

[Asker]

I talked to him and he says he wasn't flirting and talked really well with me. When I asked why he still calls me, he said because we go way back. I feel like a fool now for thinking the flirting had some intention behind it.

[GingerGuy]

You've drifted apart, ignored him before... I get why, but reverse it. If he was doing that to you, how would you feel? You have to commit and make a decision one way or the other. He doesn't know how you really feel about him, so that's why he's being like that.

[GingerGuy]

It's time to have a serious talk with him about your "relationship" (if one or possibility), or end it completely I think. And if you do that, do it directly and leave no doubts. Meaning don't just ghost or something like that (again, not telling him how you really feel), because that's why he keeps coming back.

[Asker]

I'm gonna talk to him this week. Do you have any advice on how to lead the conversation so no one gets hurt and no one is left feeling stupid and awkward?

[spartan55]

He doesn't think you like him.

[Asker]

What should I do

[spartan55]

Stop ignoring him if you are interested for starters.

[Asker]

I wasn't and I was nice to him and didn't initiate texts with him. It was quiet for a couple years and now he saw my post on social media and texted me again. And started hinting and joking again. So what do I do now.

[spartan55]

If you are interested start talking to him. Is it possible to see him in person?

[Asker]

Nope he's on another continent. I asked him if we can talk and he's said okay we can. So I'm just gonna gently ask him if he likes me and let him down without hurting him if that's the case. I do care about his wellbeing and happiness so it's hell to feel all this ambiguous.

[spartan55]

Another continent? Honestly why bother? Find someone close by.

[Asker]

See that's why I tried to let the friendship just go away. But then he comes and jokes about wanting to get married to me and I don't wanna deal with something similar in the future again. I just wanna come to some resolution.

[Asker]

I talked to him and he seemed happy and was very normal and discussed general things with me. Towards the end he asked if I was searching for a soul mate and I said I don't think I'm ready for one. He said sure and I said I just want to enjoy life and make new friends and he said that's good too. He even sent pictures of himself to show what he looks like now.

[spartan55]

Soul mate? Wow, dude is reaching big... oh well.

[Asker]

So what does he even want from me 😂

[Asker]

Does he want to be my soulmate lmao

[Asker]

He gave a really weak explanation for the flirting by the way. I mean really, does he think I'm stupid 🤣

[spartan55]

He obviously likes you. You gave him the stiff arm. End of story.

[Asker]

I am not familiar with this idiom - stiff arm? Are you saying I rejected him 😅

[spartan55]

Yes, you are correct

[Asker]

Well he seems to be friendly and I don't want to hurt him. I think I'll just be a good friend to him.

[spartan55]

A good friend on another continent lol...

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice though. If anything interesting happens and he openly says anything, I'll update on here ❤️