Guys, why would you not mention if you are seeing someone?

[Mel2021]

If you are talking to a female friend or coworker why would you not mention if you were seeing someone if you were just friends? Why neglect to tell her that you are seeing someone?

[MrCommodore]

Usually because his relationship might not be good/healthy place and he likes you, so he avoids talking about his private life to ensure he doesn't push you away.

[Mel2021]

That makes a lot of sense thank you, just I’m normally used to Co workers talking about their partners or wives/husbands but he didn’t tell me he was seeing someone for a while until Yesterday

[MrCommodore]

I experienced something similar before, a female colleague hid her relationship status from me for > 2 years.
At first I heard from other people that she was in a relationship, but she never brought it up, which I didn't really find strange, as lots of people don't.
However as time passed, I noticed that she would change topic if any of the other co-workers started a trivial conversation involving partners etc. I could tell her co-workers felt weird, as I learned that some of them had met her partner.

At the time I figured she maybe just didn't know me well enough to discuss private life stuff, which is understandable. But later as we became closer and met outside of work, the absence of her partner in conversation or in person was notable. Another girl told me it was possibly because she liked me and wanted to Keep me away from her partner who might soon be her ex.

[Mel2021]

Ah I see that makes sense, thank you for sharing your story I appreciate it as it helps a lot. Did anything ever come of it in the end?

[MrCommodore]

No, ultimately nothing physically happened. I don't want to discuss details here on open forum, as it would be obvious if she ever read it. But there were a series of things that happened, there definitely seemed to be strong chemistry between us.

[Mel2021]

That’s completely fine I understand that. See the colleague in my work who I do have a crush on and feel like he flirts with me quite a bit in work As he looks at me a lot to see my reaction for things and recently has started waiting on me when we are finished work. He also teases me a lot as well. Though when we were on a work night out recently he let slip after a lot of drinks that he was seeing someone but didn’t call her his “girlfriend” or mention a name and I just didn’t understand why he kept this for long as we have known each other for about 6 months

[MrCommodore]

Are you single or available? It sounds like you both have chemistry, but something is keeping you both apart.

[Mel2021]

I’m single but he’s apparently not even though the person that he’s seeing he doesn’t refer to her as a girlfriend or anything

[MrCommodore]

Have you been single the full time you've known him? It sounds like he isn't in a full relationship yet

[Mel2021]

Yeah I have I’ve been single for over a year now

[calvinP]

Depends on situations. If we only spoke at work and no other time and never hung out it would be acceptable. If we did I would make sure not only this girl but my girlfriend was on the same page and introduce them at least

[BellaB8466]

At my work a guy was very open about his girlfriend but still was hooking up with me. He might want to keep that from you to appear single so they can get some from you.

[Mel2021]

At least he told you about her though I guess but I understand what you mean

[UniquelyBasic]

If I felt it was getting too flirty then I would tell her but otherwise its not her business.

[Mel2021]

Fair enough but if she was your friend would you not want to confide in her or talk to her about it?

[UniquelyBasic]

About what exactly?

[Mel2021]

Oh I just mean generally chat about it if you are both friends

[UniquelyBasic]

I would be as vague as possible as the details of my relationship with whoever Im dating is between me and her and not the friend.

[Mel2021]

Oh 100% but at least you would let them know vaguely at least

[DaveToo]

Forgot?