Why do men get mad when say that lying to gain sex is not actually caring about consent?

[Anonymous]

It’s as if men don’t think of consent the way that women do. For a man to lie to you in order to have sex with you is like being targeted, and it leave the woman feeling broken and scarred. It’s not rape, it’s not an act of violence, but the manipulation behind it is clearly s way to maneuver around her original answer which would be “no” if not under certain conditions. For example, a lot of women don’t want to have sex with a man who does not care for her. Men these days seem to have no problem lying to women about their value in order to sleep with them or, maybe even worse, excusing it when it happens to women they don’t actually value. It’s ONLY when it’s their sister, mother, or daughter that it becomes inexcusable. But when it’s their friends doing it to women it becomes less about men holding each other accountable and more about how each of these women deserve it because they didn’t know better-because they didn’t see through the lies or because they didn’t understand the nature of men well enough. Why has society gotten so comfortable excusing liars, manipulators, users, abusers, cheaters, frauds, creeps, and predators while bashing the people who were preyed on? And for as much as people can throw around the fact that wallowing in self pity is trying to comfort oneself with a victim mentality it makes it no less true that men like that will always be accepted in some level. It actually isn’t fair to expect men to be perfect, but having such a low bar that makes it acceptable to have a lack of morals is just excusing being a dirtbag. Men are just not held to the same standard as women and never have been

[DCPowered]

Strip away all the complex stuff and a man is a being that is programmed to pass on their genes. Women are the gatekeepers that decide which men get to pass on their genes. It used to be that in order for a man to achieve his ultimate goal he would need to show and prove loyalty, he would need to commit (ie. no sex before marriage), he would need to achieve status (ie. job, car, house etc.). Modern feminism has sexually liberated women and in a cruel twist of irony has lowered the requirements needed by men to pass on their genes. So you need to ask yourself, if my ultimate goal is to pass on my genes why would I spend years of my life working hard, getting educated, building myself up when I could just spend a couple seconds lying and get what I want on the first date? Path of least resistance. The problem is that there are now too many women giving it up on the first date so even if you put your foot down and say no to the man, the man will just move on to the next woman who will give it up.

[Asker]

I’m going to make it simple as I can. Women are not programmed to be sexually conservative. We are taught to be conservative because their is more “value” in a woman with a little or nonexistent body count. To whom does this value matter to? Men. The patriarchal society we live in dictates the value in which women hold based on their usefulness and the image they serve for men. A woman’s reputation as valuable is a social construct that has been passed down to women for generations. We have all been taught for years that everything you said above is the true and right way to live. women have been taught to be as close to pure as possible and the deeper they go down the hole the worse society treats them. Men who want women deemed “valuable” will stop at nothing to be with women they deem more valuable because men have very fragile egos that have been coddled by society. After all, boys will be boys has been used as an excuse for men to not be raised properly since before you and I were even born. And so most men see women as achievements on that list of other things like cars, house, etc. A wife who has a good reputation, among other desirable qualities, is a symbol of status for men. So the people who get targeted the MOST are not women who have embraced their sexual liberty -although nobody is exempt from manipulation. But, the easiest targets of ALL are the women who don’t know better. Innocence and naïveté are practically synonymous. A woman who has not experienced the maliciousness of a vast amount of the men who come for her because she has no experience. The only way to avoid a predator is to expect a predator or to get lucky on the first try. And it only takes one time for a woman to realize that she didn’t get lucky and that most women don’t. Because society does not teach men not to prey on women. It teaches women to value chastity while also emphasizing the narrative that good men exist and that the “bad boy” will hurt her but the good men will not.

[Asker]

Society paints this picture that good men are this one track man when they are not all one image. And likewise, men with bad intentions are not all represented as the stereotypes would suggest. We live in a world where priests molest children, where people come up with all kinds of ways to blend in as innocent as they siphon and scam money from innocent people, where Ted Bundy was widely considered handsome and likeable, where your average joes are closet perverts, racists, rapists, and a bunch of other horrible things that event accepted by society but they do it anyway. So do you really think that one of the most accepted forms of evil—manipulation against women—wouldn’t be a larger part of the community than just a few bad eggs? What do you think manipulation means? It means targeting and preying on peoples vulnerabilities, INNOCENCE and empathy. So your basically saying the solution to the socially accepted way that women have been treated all throughout history.” Putting our foot down” is what feminism was created to do and yet men hate feminism as a movement. But yet people always tell you that the solution to all the inequality is to see through mens bullshit and demand and take charge of the respect we want. And even though that is what feminism was created to do so many men always find a way to blame everything on women and accept no fault for why women are the way that we are, why we HAVE to be the way that feminism pushes us to become in order to protect ourselves, and men yet men don’t consider that the OTHER solution is to actually listen and change so that we don’t have to go to all the extreme lengths to empower ourselves from the men who refuse to change

[msc545]

Poor child. Stop having sex with anyone and also stop whining and complaining. Nobody cares.

[crossdressingrihno]

I don't know that makes no sense to me

Then again I'm honest to the point of oversharing

Sometimes I say things that I think are true but then I find out I miss remembering them or possibly misinterpreting them somehow but that is not a deliberate lie and accidental lies are understandable they should be avoided but I definitely wouldn't hold an accidental lie against anyone
For example I don't really pay attention to my height but the last height I remember me being at was 5'8 but I could totally be shorter than that or taller than that and not know because I don't care so I just tell people I'm 5'8 but that I'm not totally sure that I'm 5'8

[Arieshyper]

This was perfectly worded. Men are just creeps and other than being honest and getting accepted or rejected they use a teen boy ideal. Men are predators by nature and excuse it with this behavior. It's a dominance over other men. Like haha my ego is that of a 15 year old so I got more women.

[slatyb]

We should stop feeding young women bullshit about the value of chastity, stop telling them that sex is something they give to a man, and stop shaming them for being sexually active.

Instead we should tell them the truth: they cannot trade sex for commitment. They should have sex because they want to have sex. Then they won't feel "played".

[Shamalien]

If you have sex with strangers you can’t complain. Lying is bad sure but if someone can lie you into bed then you almost deserve to get played. Have some self control. Men don’t respect women who give it up easy

[Asker]

I have only had sex with one man which was 4 year ago and I had sex with him after knowing him for a year. I had already met his family, he had offered to move me into his house and discussed marriage with me and I waited until I was 20 to lose my virginity to him before I started to find out major lies that he had told and would continue to tell me. But what’s weird is how common it must be for men to be accepted liars since my one and only sexual partner was just like so many other similar stories I’ve heard from women whether she was with one man or 20 men. Yet, men aren’t encouraged to wait to sleep with anybody. They sleep with whoever they can sleep with and since they can’t sleep with women easily they resort to lying which further proves my point that men feel the need to lie in order to get with women and that because it’s the only way to get what THEY want (regardless of what the woman wants) it’s accepted and it’s tolerated and excused.

[Shamalien]

Yup, men have many responsibilities, and women have the responsibility of carefully choosing good men. Get good at it. There’s a reason peoples’ parents used to handle this stuff

[msc545]

Women have no problem lying to men in order to get their money, which is obtained by men through the use of their time, which absolutely cannot be replaced. And you are worried about consent for *sex*? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[Berethor]

There is thing actually a thing that is called rape by deception, so he might be a rapist.

[BarryLiverstone]

Society has become comfortable with liars because people are no longer raised to be accountable for their actions.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why women get mad when say that lying to gain sex is not actually caring about consent