Why Do Men Complain About Consent So Much?

Question

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Well... because it can be very unfair. A very drunk girl can ask for sex from a very drunk guy and retrospectively change her mind. As she was drunk she could not give consent but the equally drunk guy is assumed to be entirely cognizant.

I think that is entirely unreasonable that drunken sex for a girl is blameless but not for a guy.

There was a famous rape case in Western Australia. A wife wanted rid of her husband and arranged for her best friend to seduce him. The best friend waited till the husband was at the point of ejaculation and withdrew consent. The husband was unable to resist taking the final stroke and was very technically guilty of rape.

We know the truth of it because the best friend felt guilty after five years of his imprisonment and gave statements that led to him being pardoned. He still spent 5 years in prison from the set up though.

A girlfriend wanted rid of me and made a similar arrangement with her best friend. I'm not sure jail for me was part of the plan. I hope not but seduction certainly was part of the plan but I didn't fall for it.

Where I think the law is particularly bad is it is no longer required for a girl to say she does not consent to sex. NO is an easy word to utter. Things got fairly passionate between a girl and I and as I was doing foreplay she was giving every inclination of enjoying it and was kissing me back.

Fortunately for my well being, when I thought penetration was appropriate she did say NO.

Quite simply revisonist non consent is entrapment and much like that WA rape..

Bricealan · Accepted Answer

@anon1903 Well, apparently you have not been involved in one of those bizarre situations where 'Consent' should not have been an issue. I have, and believe me, this girl would have been 'raped' by most men under what I went through.

At a restaurant/bar in Ohio, when I was 31, I danced with a girl a few times and she gave me her number, to call later.

When we talked, she asked me "How are you with your tongue" with the very obvious 'intent of wanting me to eat her out at some point.

Long story, short, I ended in her Town House, surprisingly, with it being within my own apartment complex on a large lake., with her nude, from the waist down and my face between her legs, eating her pussy..

When I raised up on my knees, taking my pants down, and penis out, she immediately crossed her legs at the ankles and not allowing me to fuck her under those obviously sexually charged conditions. Many men would have been furious and probably forced her legs open and fucked her - with the obvious 'rape' accusation following.

I never put myself in such a shit position again. Never saw the asshole woman again.

msmissydc · Accepted Answer

Because they dont understand it. I had a question involving the thematic and most answers went into the direction "consent is too complicated". Which is kinda fucked up tbh. If you can't make sure your partner wants it than that should be considered a "no" not a "yes". If everything but a no is a yes of course there are many situations where a "no" is not possible, and rapist go free because of fucked up laws.

Texasgal95 · Accepted Answer

I’m assuming you’re getting somebody asking for consent or having to ask for a consent? I’m assuming you’re meaning about having sex and I think some guys just assume oh you’re my girlfriend that should automatically mean that you wanna have sex with me but the minute you say no it means no which means stop boyfriend significant other or not the minute I say no that means stop

Anonymous · Answer

In Health Class, they taught us that ‘consent is key’. No one can pressure you into doing something that you are not comfortable to do, let’s say you agreed to it earlier though later you aren’t up for it or you are having worries / doubts, it is okay to and acceptable to backdown with your consent meaning if you push you towards an earlier obligation that is a red flag / non consensual sex.

There are men who justify this with, “ladies like playing hard to get” then you should be able to read the situation. If she looks genuinely uncomfortable, scared, not into the sexual situation and not playing along with flirty banter, touching you in an intimate way, or being sexually explicit then you should stop and know “no means no”.

There are also men who go, “if she doesn’t say ‘no’, it is a yes”…. Justifying the bad behavior. They know it is wrong, though they get pleasure and a feeling of power from the exchange so they do it for sexual thrill over the other’s feelings and comfort.

There are CNC (Consensual Non Consensual) practicing partners, they make it work because the woman says she has those fantasies and describes how to meet the comfort level while achieving the fantasy. She doesn’t push it on her partner and the man also loves those fantasies which meet his comfort level. How you know someone’s comfort level is through communication and explanation also planning for a safe controlled environment. CNC is consensual and well planned out when you have a partner that cares, forcing someone to do sexual favors is wrong.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Because it’s loaded with hypocrisy and lies. No woman has ever asked for my consent before she touched me. That includes every time i was molested as a child. To this day women only think about consent in one direction. Grown women are assaulting boys and young men all over the country and still nobody talks about “my body, my choice” for males of any age.
“Consent” has been weaponized to unjustly accuse men of crimes that they didn’t commit, and revoked so that women aren’t held responsible for the crimes they do commit. Only one country on the planet has actually charged a woman with sexual assault against a man, Norway. Some US states have not only condoned women raping young boys, they’ve allowed those predators to take their victims to court for child support.
Only masochists participate enthusiastically in their own abuse and oppression.

Caroline91 · Answer

One problem with "no means no" and should be taken into account if charges are pressed is that in male sexual response, there is a "point of no return," referring to the moment when a man is sufficiently aroused and ejaculation is inevitable, regardless of continued or interrupted stimulation. Once this point is reached, ejaculation will occur, and attempting to halt it is usually unsuccessful. This is a physiological mechanism and the point of no return is related to the central nervous system's role in the sexual response. Once a certain level of stimulation is reached, the nervous system triggers the reflex of ejaculation. A man should not be held responsible for this. And women need to not be ignorant in the way we treat men, not to mention ethical.

OneViewpoint · Answer

What's so difficult. Yes or no. You should know before you ever end up in bed or the back seat or whatever. But if you notice she's uncomfortable or acting uneasy... FULL STOP. Discuss. Proceed from there whether it's watching TV or sex or just leaving an awkward situation. There are a zillion reasons someone may pull back at the last moment. Don't make an awkward situation worse. Accept that she has a reason. Respect her choice. Handle it like a gentleman not caveman. It's not the end of the world for craps sake.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

They complain because women say they want it, and then the next day they change their mind and file rape charges.

According to the Law of God, if a woman does not scream for help, it isn't rape. That's the way our legal system ought to do it, and if a woman falsely accused a man of rape in the Bible she was put to death the same way he would have been put to death had he been guilty. It should be that way today. Freaking women trying to ruin a man's life with false accusations.

Shiprex · Answer

Because it's so easy for a man to be duped into a sexual relationship through leading on, suggestive behaviour and then be accused of something because he was maybe not good enough, or not attentive enough, maybe didn't treat her as she felt she deserved and then his whole world is down the toilet.

Then there's the risk of getting an 18 year financial burden he has not protection against even if she lied about birth control. THAT consent to sex is NOT consent to parenthood and no amount of crying, condoms, vasectomy, blah blah doesn't detract from the fact she lied about it and went ahead with it despite his wishes.

Agape93 · Answer

Because they suck at understanding nuance.

Girl at a party may wanna fuck you senseless. Is she drunk, high or drugged? She can't consent, doing her would be rape.

I'll make it easy. Unless she's fully sober and giving enthusiastic desire to get fucked and says so, don't do it.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Because she is always nagging me about how she needs to have consent to touch me and I keep telling her she can do it all she wants. Ugh so annoying.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Because you can accuse us of rape just for fun. All guys need is that one woman who's a little messed up to accuse of it after a night together where he did nothing wrong or did what you asked him to do. Feminism has brainwashed so many women into believing that all men are evil. It promotes that all men are bad and are rapists, pedophiles and abusers. You put these lies into an unstable mind and you get women who are constantly perceiving men as evil and a threat. Women are just as bad as men are they just don't want to take their share of the blame.

dragoblack · Answer

The only time i have seen guys complain about it is when it is consent is treats like it only usable by women. Like how in court if a guy is drunk and a woman is sober, it's not considered her raping him, even though the law of consent says intoxicated people can't give consent. The only other time i see men complaining about it, is when consent is weaponized, to claim rape against a guy she didn't actually like or on an ex she decided to get rid of via the legal system.
Guys just hate the consent system is hypocritical

SamWinchester058 · Answer

No should mean no to both sexes. It's pretty easy to also pick up on body language cues. However, assuming you aren't a sociopath, tech has made a mess of our ability to understand one another and to react to rejection in a balanced way. We also no longer learn from said rejection, but instead run to our favorite group of people on the net and complain. That group then validates our feelings and we never learn. Because of course it couldnt be your fault, it must be his/hers. Also don't pick one another up from the bar while drunk and then expect good things to happen. Be smart out there kids... Don't bump fuzzies while under the influence.

MemeSupreme · Answer

bad cultural and family influences  like their empathy is just fucked bc of it

HawkPerception · Answer

It's pretty spooky stuff for guys. I have a story about it that I won't share for personal reasons, but I nearly thought my life was over because of it once, when I did absolutely nothing wrong. Womens words have so much power in comparison to men and it's pretty unfair.

SixFootSexy · Answer

If you plan on saying no, draw your boundaries early in the interaction. No means no, but don't tease it unless you wanna please it.

Men tend to complain about consent when there's already established interest, sometimes even intimate cuddling or fondling and then she says no. That's no fun.

Communicationisking · Answer

I've noticed girls these days love to be asked for consent, I guess maybe it is empowering I don't know but all I know is that asking is no big deal and it takes the wonder out of it all like literally... hey do you want to come home with me and bang... hey would you like me to go down on you... hey do you like xxxxx? It's great you know what you can and can't do and they feel safe because they have a say in what is happening. Win win

Anonymous · Answer

I think its the double standard. A drunk guy can consent but a drunk girl cannot. Then there are many feminists who advocate that women vacancy withdraw consent at anytime even during without making the man aware and its rape or even after the deed is done

AviatorTom · Answer

Consent is a great idea but difficult to implement.

As the couple are making out, does he have to pull out a consent document and have her sign it? Plus have it notarized and witnessed to prove she wasn't forced or drunk?

What if she consents... "Yes, let's have sex." ... and later changes her mind?

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Some men are just socially retarded and/or super rapey.

But, to be fair, there are also men who aren't socially retarded or rapey at all, but still feel like they can never really win with women.

They go out of their way to be respectful to women, get consent, all that sort of thing and the situations still blow up in their faces.

bellicose · Answer

What do you want to have to start signing legal documents detailing everything you’re OK with doing in bed and getting them notarized before you can fuck? You’re creating a situation in law where you need a permission slip from your mom so that nobody goes to jail. It’s pretty fucking lame.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Eventually people are going to all be screaming no during sex just to cover themselves and everyone will blame everyone of raping each other lol.

Here's my real take. No means no... of course... Don't have random sex with someone you don't know if you're concerned about this shit. Get to know someone, become comfortable with each other, and have fun fucking. Rape is not cool so talk to each other and figure out how to communicate so these things aren't an issue.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

This is not a topic I hear of in my surroundings, so maybe it's a legal thing specific to US? Or we could be talking about literal guys having difficulties registering subtleties of language in romantic interactions?

blueonblack22 · Answer

This question really says a lot more about you than it says about men. And I don’t mean that in a good way. It’s a very disgusting question.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't.

However I've had women complain about me seeking consent too much. Post #metoo. I ask for for literally every move I make. It's the only way to protect my self, plus I record said consent at the beginning so if she wants to falsely accuse me later I have proof

Phoenix98 · Answer

Because all it takes is a single accusation even if it's false to completely destroy a man's life. And sadly a lot of women have weaponized consent over the years and it's led to a lot of people getting their lives ruined.

DonaldDarko · Answer

I've never seen any man complain about that at least not in western countries. I doubt it happens in Islamic countries either since there is no consent there.

Still-alive · Answer

In short Toxic Masculinity tells them its alpha to ignore what a woman says and ‘just go for it’ even if she says no. avoid those dudes.

NicholasRedone · Answer

@anon1903 because the commercials keep claiming I have to have a contract in writing from a woman date lol 😜😆 📜🗞️

Anonymous · Answer

Some think they are the most powerful gender. They are not. They are just a different gender.  "We have the penis!" "Yeah. And we risk pregnancy and can say no, whenever."

Apple1996 · Answer

Because they dont understand consent/ dont wanna follow the rules of consent

Shy_Steve · Answer

A lot of us guys genuinely struggle to understand what consent looks like from a woman, which can make it difficult to tell if she's giving it or not. It's one of the same reasons many men have stopped approaching altogether.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No idea. Seems pointless since she can lie and claim she was drunk or withdrew consent and in most cases even if he is not convicted his life will be ruined just by the accusation.

SotiCoto · Answer

Literally never ever heard a man complain about consent. Never. Not even once.

RingOfFire · Answer

These days if you're going to have sex with a woman you better have a lawyer with you to have her sign a waiver first.

MrChinaski · Answer

Because non-consensual sex carries up to 25 years in jail.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

We don't.. But the extra emphasis on consent is a bit unnecessary..

SexyPulse · Answer

well it is very important for men because, of false rape allegations against them it happens quite often.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

They're cavedudes who want to be able to club a chick with a bat, drag her by the hair and lay their boy joy on her without her permission.

EmtAsh · Answer

This is simple. It is because everything is out fault in today's screwed up world. If I compliment a woman and she doesn't like it, she can file harassment charges

WonderingManII · Answer

Cause they don't want to be charged with rape.

jahaims · Answer

I've never seen a guy complain about consent besides a few crazys online

fish5505_87 · Answer

I haven't experienced this myself or from people I am around. However, alcohol and drugs can make this a very challenging topic.

Anonymous · Answer

I think men complain about being responsible for consent.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because they're not patient enough to earn that consent.

PaleDale · Answer

Consent as in a woman actually gets to choose if she wants to have sex or not?

Anonymous · Answer

I never complain, because I never try anything - I prefer dominant and self-confident girls who like to take initiative.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

It’s destroys spontaneity and feels forced, like a safety PSA

Twalli · Answer

Because it's not always clear. I don't recall ever asking for consent shortly before engaging in sex

Uzuxgg · Answer

Because it can be given and taken away as a woman pleases. They can destroy you life and career by making false accusations.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

We don’t. We know what consent means, and any decent human being abides with it

Anonymous · Answer

Not sure what there is to complain about…unless he’s a 🍇-ist.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think they do Women complain about not having given consent

Anonymous · Answer

It’s easier to jerk off about what could have been.

Anonymous · Answer

LOL. I don't think men complain about consent that much.

alice55 · Answer

Never hard of it where I live

Dargil · Answer

They feel entitled.

Anonymous · Answer

Consent as far as what?

Massageman · Answer

Afraid of lawsuits?

DrPepper12 · Answer

Who complains? Openly? That's nuts

TwoToTooTutu2 · Answer

Complain about consent in what way?

Luopio27 · Answer

Can u give an example!

Why Do Men Complain About Consent So Much?

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