How do I get my husband to see my point of view when It comes to are son being gay?

[Anonymous]

I know this may sound ridiculous to some and I ask people to not be cruel and be open minded this is my little boy and I love him to pieces and just want him to be happy with who he is and not feel like he has to hide his ture self.

He's only 8 and no one has pushed him to say he's gay and to be honest he hasn't even came out to us yet nor has he showed much attraction to either gender.

We could be completely wrong and he could not be gay and I'm happy for him either way but without sounding like I'm stereotyping gays he's kinda obvious.

We are a normal family and we tried to do things traditionally with are children. We tried to get him into football and other boy things but he was more interested in what his big stister was doing. He wants to dance , sing, play princesses etc. He's very camp if I'm totally honest. He loves watching me get my nails done and going to watch musicals. He's not like the other boys at his school but I thank God but people have taught there children to be kind now a days and he actually gets on well with everyone and he's doesn't get bullied. The only one who doesn't fully embrace the fact but our son is different if my husband and his dad. He won't give up trying to push things on him like taking him to football and fishing and he just cries the whole time when my husband takes him. I think my husband wants to bond with him but he doesn't know how. He doesn't like but I recently bought in the DVD set for despite house wife's for his birthday and said I was making him gay. He asked for the gift. I'm only giving him what he wanted. I want my boy the feel loved and accepted, I don't want him to feel like he has to hide who he is surly that will effect him more in the long run. My husband and me have been arguing a lot about this and I'm worried that will effort are children too.

[ArtemisSilver]

It's "our" not are child first off.

He's pre puberty, it's pretty early to be taking it super seriously. There's nothing wrong with him wanting to play with his sister and liking those things.

Trying to put him in football won't help, locker rooms are practically gay porn. If anything it might get him beat up later if he actually is gay.

I used to be like that as a kid, and I'm a married man with two kids. I'm the slightest bit bi, but don't really act on it just because it's not the lifestyle I want.

My suggestion is not to worry about it, and to let him have mostly female friends and do girl stuff if he wants.

Just don't make a strong push either way, and none of that hormone blocker, drag queen pageant stuff. Just let him be a kid and figure himself out.

[Asker]

That's what Im trying to do for him. I'm just giving him the stuff he asks for and letting do as he likes but my husband won't see it that way

[ArtemisSilver]

Get him cake boss too, guys can cook stuff like that without it being specifically gay.

[Asker]

Actually that's a really good idea. We all love baking as a family. Maybe I'll let him take charge next time

[Anonymous]

Your son is eight. Eight. Why are you making him out to be gay when he’s still a child and doesn’t even know what sexuality is.

And the way you act like there is something wrong with your husband is reprehensible. He just wants to spend time with his son and bond and you’re acting like he’s telling him to stop being a mary. He’s just trying to relate with his kid and you’re treating him like he’s gay bashing people.

Good luck with your marriage. Hopefully you all don’t become another statistic.

[Beach_Girl]

Listen, let your children be who they are, but also tell them whats right and wrong, don't not tell him that just because you think he wants to do something else. You just have to make it plain and simple. You need to love him and give him all the support he needs while also still being a good parent and telling him sometimes what he might not want to hear. I feel it sad that the dad wants to make his son something he isn't or force him into doing something he doesn't want to and frankly I dont agree with it either. He should learn to back off and let his children learn who THEY are not who he is MAKING them be. That could actually affect the way a child grows and developes. Watch this it might help, The attachment theory how childhood affects life

[LazerBean]

So if your age is right, you had him when you were between 10 and 16? 🤔 Being raised by another child would in and of itself have serious impact on his development. For example, the fact that he is 8 and already addicted to an adult show. Smh.

[Asker]

This is actually my stisters account I'm just using it for the time being to ask this question.

I'm 29. My first child I had at 18 and I had my son at 21. Me and my husband have only just got married but he is the father to both our children. I hope this clears up the confusion

[Asker]

Also I know this is irrelevant but that is the cutest rabbit I have ever seen in your profile pic. Is it yours?

[Anonymous]

No one should be watching Desperate Housewives, whether gay, straight, male or female.

But to your point, 8 is too young to determine whether he is gay. Just because he doesn't like fishing or football isn't a reliable indicator. Dad should try to find some other common interests, maybe music or outdoor activities other than fishing. My Dad felt bad that I didn't like going fishing with him, but in my case it was because I was a OCD germophobe as a kid.

[Asker]

You could be right and like I said we have no idea and either way I will love him and be happy for him.

But... I mean everyone sees it not just us. All the mums from school tell me how "fabulous" he is which he seems to like but I find a little patronising.

I mean there's plenty of straight men out there who enjoy traditionally female dominated stuff.

I can see both sides of the argument but I just want him to have a good childhood and not feel pressured into having to pretend to be something he's not

[Opinion Owner]

Fortunately that is probably a lot easier than when I grew up. As I say, maybe expose him to some other activities. You should have a few more years before the physical stuff is relevant.

[exitseven]

okay- my son was very slight in build and was very studious when he was that age. I wondered if he might be gay. My wife and I decided that if he was we would make sure he had the best life possible,

[Asker]

Thats all I want to but people in the comments are trying to make me out to be a bad mum. They have no idea

[exitseven]

You just have to show understanding and love. He is still your son and is still the same person.

[Asker]

I love him so much. I do worry sometimes for my daughter too though. I think all the attention I've been giving my son lately if eventually gonna upset her and she's gonna find it difficult to understand

[clemdenim]

we each have to walk our own path, some know when they take a wrong fork in that path, others never do. maybe someday your husband will see that he is on the wrong path with his son, but he is the one that has to see it, no one can show him, be there for the both of them, they both need support

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say he’s gay. People have different interests and they sometimes find things of traditional gender roles not very interesting.

Look, your husband/his dad needs to understand that you can’t force interest and you just have to be someone worth bonding with.

[Anonymous]

Well you don't know for sure he's gay, but that behavior is the stereo typical thing you will see in boys that later in life turn out to be gay, child hood toy preference like that can be a big indication. I guess you need to remind him that its his duty to love his kids no matter what.

[Asker]

I totally agree with you. We don't if he's gay and I will never push that on him or bring it up to him unless he wants to talk about it or I can see it's effecting him in some way. I just don't want him to even feel like he has to come out to us as if it's one big secret he has to keep from everyone.

My husband does love him and In his head I know he just wants the best for him as do I but he struggles to get his head around the whole thing.

The thing is it's our only son and when my husband found out we were having a boy he was so excited. I think he thought he was getting a little mini me

[MrTaboo]

NO ONE HAS PUSHED HIM? expect mommy or a teacher grooming him! HE'S 8! at that age, they do as they're told. They don't know any better. Some pedophile is grooming you son. And it might be you. If you're posting it all over the internet it's you.

[Asker]

He so goes Catholic school so I'd be really shocked if his teachers are grooming him to be gay but you can believe what you want

[Asker]

Most his staff there are old lady's

[PatriceONeal]

It's normal at his age, the problem is some people force hormone therapy before the kid gets to grow up and figure things out. Don't make that grave mistake.

[Anonymous]

He is 8. Stop sexualizing your son. Most people don't start to realize their sexuality until they are 16. He just wants to be close to his mom and sister.

[Asker]

I'm not sexualizing him. There more than one way to indicate someone's gay without them being sexual. Maybe if you read what I actually wrote you'd know that

[Opinion Owner]

I did read what you wrote. If you're assuming someone's sexuality at 8; then in fact, you are sexualizing them. He may or may not end up being gay; but not even he will know that for a few years yet.

[Anonymous]

At 8, he shouldn't even know what being gay or straight is. He should understand what sexual attraction is. What a sad world we live in.

[Anonymous]

He's eight. You are sexualizing an eight year old.

[Unfortunateguy27]

Why are you judging your child already