My boyfriend says he’s a bad texter but he’s still always on his phone. Is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is always on his phone when I’m with him, scrolling Instagram etc. Like he’s literally on his phone all the time. However, he’s usually a bad texter when I’m not with him during the week. He’ll respond like 1-2 days later or 12 hours. I often don’t see him on the weekends, because he’s often busy, but he checks in like 2-3 times to update. He says just he’s an introvert, which is totally okay, but it just gets frustrating. Like sometimes I’ll text him at 4 when we’re apart then don’t hear from him rest of the day. Or making plans will be inconsistent with him. He's generally okay when we get together, just sometimes distant (doesn’t have much time). I want to love him better, but how do I get him to be more responsive? I just feel kind of weird & alone. Or, rather, how do I just learn to become okay with this like he is? Thanks. by the way, I always see him on “active” status on socials when I’m not texting him.

[spartan55]

You can't change him, and if you try to it won't work. It is pretty apparent you're communication expectations are not in alignment with his. You likely need to make a decision on if you want to stay in the relationship, or end it.

[Asker]

This is a cool answer!! I honestly never thought of it this way. Thanks for this!!🤞

Ugh it’s def hard. I hate that I’m so extroverted compared to him but this makes sense😔

[spartan55]

Thank you, I appreciate that.
I think his 'introvert' excuse is bullshit. If he was truly an introvert he wouldn't be on social media so much. The term introvert gets tossed around so much now it's ridiculous. Narcissist is another one that no one seems to know the proper definition.

[Asker]

I’ve had a couple people say he was a narcissist too. This includes examples like he would only text about himself, and only want to do activities for himself, while still being active on social media. I’m glad you mentioned this, maybe I’ll look up more examples… wow I really appreciate your help!!

[spartan55]

You're welcome! Message me anytime if you have more questions.