How attached do YOU get to coworkers and bosses?

Question

I think I may be finally seeing growth in myself in this area because I used to get secretly very emotional over little and big things at work and over people at work and that includes having intense crushes, jealousy or appreciation. I would cry hard about people at work.

But today my favorite ever boss announced he's leaving soon and had he told us this just months ago, I might have had an emotional breakdown.
But recently I had already begun to realize nice words or compliments etc people do or say to you at work are actually often empty or meaningless niceties. They don't actually mean that the person has deeper feelings or appreciation for you. Sadly.

But at least I'm growing up!

KitsuneFoxSpirit · Accepted Answer

I'm a hard worker who is willing to help colleagues out. Even stayed to midnight to help an owner of a new business, on my own time not because I was seeking credit but because he was swamped and there was nobody else to assist him.

I've been referred to as nurturing, having high standards, etc. A lot of complimentary words and references speak highly of me. But I would be the last person you'd find at a company event or at the bar after work with a bunch of others.

Because I don't get attached. Except for a very few colleagues, and a former boss who even when I left his business still gives me discounts, etc., I don't.

You are colleagues, not my friends. I am paid to work, not socialize. Socializing is what I do on my own time with actual friends.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I'm getting better at being attached.

I never really kept up with coworkers until my last job, and I'm working alongside some people I know from earlier in my career as well, now.

I have kept in touch with a few mentors in the past, and I had a puppy love crush on one of my previous project managers (obviously not a real crush or a reciprocated one - she's twice my age, married, with kids).

But now I'm better able to just be friends - genuine friends - with coworkers. It feels much better being able to trust the people I work with.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ever since I started working in elementary schools and after school activity clubs, in 2014/2015, I felt what I had was better than family. The bonds were so strong that my friend described it as a reason to live.

Great things never last. Those were just intern jobs in the perfect enviroment filled with exactly the kind of people that I have been missing my whole life. They were the only professionals who saw my full potential and knew what to do with it. They turned me into a substitute teacher.

It has always been the therapist, psychologist and psychiatricks that have only achieved breaking my family apart. They have made ne suicidal.

JustinTheGreat · Accepted Answer

It definitely depends on the coworkers and boss of course. I had one manager at my old job who was so sweet and I definitely considered her a friend. We even went shopping together once after work haha
i was also a manager at my last job and I definitely had trouble separating my personal relationships with the staff and the fact that I was their boss. A lot of them I was close friends with before I got promoted so it was difficult not to just treat them as my friends. It definitely affected how good of a manager I was
but if I ever get promoted at another job, I think I learned my lesson and will be better at separating the two

Panzer21 · Answer

The site I worked at recently shut down and I was transfered to a new one. For the last 5 years I've established strong friendships with my coworkers, I love those guys. Its normal to establish friendly relationships with people you spend a lot of time with, its in our psychology. The shut down saw some of us layed off, some decided to quit and a handful transferred to the same site I work at. Overall the few work friends I have here are the only thing that keeps me from feeling anxious and on edge all the time.

So yeah I got emotionally attached to them, theyre my buddies.

Had a few work romances with female coworkers too. They can go okay provided your mature enough and are careful going in. But flings with coworkers is a recipe for disaster.

Honesttguy · Answer

People have to move and try new places, some will leave and new ones will come in place. You dont get sad when trees are losing their leaves in autumn, its part of the flow in life. Accepting it and being okey helps, its ok to feel bit sad its part of the flow.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Work and play are separate entities for me. I always remain professional at work, even when those around me are not.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

I distance myself from them as much as possible. Keep in mind that outside of work, they're NOT your friends (minus the rare exception if you're lucky enough to befriend someone at work), nor should their input affect you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm friendly and respectful to everyone- including people I cannot stand or trust.
But do I get too attached to them? Nope. Because I promise at the end of the day, you're barely on their minds, and you should treat them the same.

DonkeyDan · Answer

I wouldn't say I ever get attached to people I work with, but I do like some of the people I've worked with over the years. It makes for a happier working environment to have people around you that you connect with and don't make work a chore. Can't say I've ever been that cut up about someone leaving, unless their departure was you to make the work environment a little less entertaining.

Anonymous · Answer

I would genuinely get attached as a friendship level. But I had to learn what a cowoworker connection was. I don’t hang out wi to conqorkers outside of work or on lunch breaks at work. Crack jokes, show up on time, do my job wonderfully and then Go Home. Keep the chat small and if they ask about my personal life, I politely answer and move along to another topic.
I’ve been heavily bullied as a toddler by my family and growing up as a child and adult - perhaps if I don’t mingle with co workers, they can pick on me I don't know 🤷‍♀️

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Awe, that is so cute of you, I know how it is to get crushes and attached to co-workers I've been down that road before.

Nonamesbetter18 · Answer

I did till COVID started but ever since for some reason I have started distancing myself from people and I am just focusing on my career. I figured out that me greeting attached just hurt me and not any one else.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I like some people I work with.
But 'they come, and they go' (me, as well sometimes) - I do not usually invest ''emotions'' at work; but I make sure that my own environment is ''friendly and happy''.
Although... it DID happen that after some ten years I returned to the same location, and (some) people remembered me fondly.
'We always meet twice', I use to say. So: leave a good impression.

Fireguy17 · Answer

at the station really close.
Not that we gather as a large group on our off time, but because we depend on each other to have our backs, and we know that we will be there for each other.
You get closr to your partner, you usually work the same shifts with them day in and day out, so you know what the other person will do, or need, kind of like finishing each others sentences.

exitseven · Answer

I had a group of technicians that worked for me for 14 years. We were all pretty close. A new guy came and took over the department and thought he could move us all around like little chess pieces. A couple of guys quit, a couple went to another department, I had to take over a different department and was finally laid off. I still miss these guys.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

I never thought I did until covid. 75% of my department left from Mar 2020 through current. When coworkers or bosses would leave it never really impacted me but in droves it made me realize how much they made the job tollerable.

melanieeeB · Answer

Not at all lol I separate my work from private stuff and I don't take the stress and drama from work home with me.
Sure I have coworkers that I'm pretty close with but I still don't get attached to them

MysticDevice · Answer

I've always kept a distance from coworkers unless I knew them beforehand. However I made an exception for one girl I met at work who is now my best friend. We're about as close as we could possibly be without actually being together.

kylee2437 · Answer

That very much depends. I don’t have much attachment to my co workers but one of my best friends was one of my co workers.

Freyke · Answer

Zero. It sounds like I am a bot now. I just don't feel attached to them. They are great people, but I just see them as people who are in the same work place

Adronicus · Answer

Not at all. I'm there to work, not make friends. I'm not rude but keep things light. I never date coworkers after a bad break with one in my younger days.

Alex8736 · Answer

In business anything goes where you can be close with coworkers and bosses but when the going gets tough and it gets down to food on your table or food on their table nobody is your friend

libsaretards · Answer

Not at all. They can leave at any moment so no need for attachment.

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

My bosses and coworkers get attached to me do to my excessive drug and alcohol use , anxiety attacks, suicidal tendencies and inability to communicate

OddBeMe · Answer

So attached that i could set a fire…hypothetically.

Wazzaman88 · Answer

NEVER dip your pen in company ink. Don't sh*t where you eat.

Avicenna · Answer

Not at all

EyeKnowMeNahYou · Answer

None too much

Iron_Man · Answer

Not attached

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all

How attached do YOU get to coworkers and bosses?

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