If a guy bullies you when you’re younger does that mean he’s interested in you?

[StormMistress]

So I remember when I was young and had this guy bully me relentlessly throughout my early high school years. He eventually moved before anything actually came out of it but I was told constantly it’s only because he’s into you. Like is that really a thing? And if so why? Why go out of your way to bully the person you like? Seems a bit counterproductive in my opinion.

[TheorionMage]

Its an immature childhood hold-over and whether he's into you is determined by how he routinely treats OTHER females. Typically a bully is seeking to establish FIRST your unavoidable attention and secondly a kind of dominance, like a nagging itch, compelling you to make them preeminent in the moment, necessary 'to be dealt with'.

Juveniles learn early that ANY attention, even NEGATIVE interaction, to a narcissist, is better than to have your presence discounted or ignored. ~ If you permit this, in a way you're signalling YOUR curiosity and potential submissiveness in their presence as allowing... even condoning it.

[cheeky_starfish]

Don’t confuse bullying with teasing! If a guy teases you, it may be a sign that he likes you and is just playing with you, but bullying in any form is abuse and not an indication that he likes you. I hope you’re not too affected by this - just remember that being bullied is more of a reflection on the bully and their personality, character and insecurities than it is on you personally. It’s more likely that he envied you in some way, but regardless of his motives, you were the better person here and make sure to learn from this never to allow anyone to bully you again. Use this learning experience to be a better and stronger person yourself - that’s how you beat the bully! 👊

[Jsisdbfwis]

Thank you! And see I don't get yhe distinction of bully vs tease. It feels like everyone makes up their own deifnition especially those that do it.

[cheeky_starfish]

Are you the question asker? 🤔 Well teasing is lighthearted and fun, often done in a laughing and joking way that can be enjoyed by both parties - whereas bullying is unpleasant and upsetting, and is intended to hurt the victim physically and/or emotionally. There is quite a chasm between teasing and bullying, but sometimes the person doing the teasing can go too far, or the person being teased can take it too personally, and that’s where a misunderstanding of the intention and situation can occur.

[Jsisdbfwis]

I dont luke teasing so its all bullying to me.

[cheeky_starfish]

That’s fair enough - everyone has their limits and what behaviour they’re willing to accept.

[Jsisdbfwis]

I asked a very similar question like mins before Askers popped up. So i am using the answers here fr myself too

[TacosRAwesome]

I think if it's silly things like chasing, silly insults, and things like that it's a possibility especially if they're young. If it's legit bullying where you actually feel afraid and threatened, then no they don't like you.

[laraWM]

Maybe if he was teasing you or even bothering a little, I could understand. But bullying seems too much for me, you can't go back after that

[Sixgunsound]

There are many reasons why someone might be interested in someone else, not all of which are romantic. You might have been an easy mark, or at least perceived as one? Advancing to the level of bullying doesn’t really strike me as playful teasing in a romantic way, but more of trying to either smooth over his own damaged childhood, or trying to score points socially at your expense.

[exitseven]

My uncle used to always tell the story about when he was a kid he used to hide behind a tree and throw rocks at a girl he liked. I guess everyone has a system,

[Jsisdbfwis]

LMAO

[jennifer_bloom]

My theory is they try to lower your social value because they want to believe your equal to them

[Blackcosmo]

Maybe he did like you or not. Some people have the weirdest reasons for doing things.

[cth96190]

No. It means that he is a bully, who needs a good flogging to motivate him to change his behaviour.

[Jsisdbfwis]

he's a "grown adult" so whos to flog him? Parents these days often are lazy and dont spank their stupid kids

[cth96190]

He could be flogged by a man who does not like bullies. It happens.

[Jsisdbfwis]

Awesome. Many males around here ignore bulying of women by men and either join or act like they saw nothing.

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

Someone is throwing a lot of bullshit you way he is mentally unstable which does not get better with age

[Jsisdbfwis]

Wow so these mans are damaged goods 4ever

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

@Jsisdbfwis have seen enough of people and what they have done to others to be very carefull around them have never seen one change his spots. Bully as a child bully as adult

[Jsisdbfwis]

Awesome. Makes it easier to avoid those types. I need a nice gentle man.

[worldscolide]

No, bullying is never a sign of interest.. Picking on you a little, yeah that might be interest, but definitely not bullying.

[motownplayer2000]

Nope. If that was true.. I would have girls and guys lining up to date me. Since I got bullied by both. They just didn’t like me

[VV3ZZY]

That's probably all he knows because his parents or siblings bully him worse

[TallAnon]

No, not always, sometimes a person just hates your guts.

[Anonymous]

You have to ask that people your age, we don't know how your generation was back then.

[20yearsolder]

No it does not mean that, means he's an asshole

[rabbitzzz]

Well it depends on the type of bullying.

[rabbitzzz]

*MILF

[CallmeTheKnight]

Hell no. Don't be stupid

[Snakeyes7]

Unless it's a playful way, like teasing, it's not.

[Pudsmucker]

Not really.